Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Health Food ❯ Health Food ( One-Shot )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Vamprina 
Ichigo and Renji have to try some of Orihime's new health food.
Language, humor, possible slight OOC
No real pairing
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.20.2008 | Pages: 1 | Words: 842 | Visits: 455 | Status: Completed
Ichigo and Renji have to try some of Orihime's new health food.
Language, humor, possible slight OOC
No real pairing
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.20.2008 | Pages: 1 | Words: 842 | Visits: 455 | Status: Completed
Health Food
By: Vamprina
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters/merchandise. I am not making any profit or gaining any reward for writing this fanfiction, for its existence or distribution. I am not, nor am I affiliated with, the owner(s), share holder(s), affiliate(s), copyright(s) holder(s) of Bleach or its characters/merchandise of any kind.
Warnings: Language, humor, possible slight OOC
Prompt set: Green
Prompt: 10, Organic
Date: 1/20/08
Spoilers: Beginning of Bountou Arc
Word Count: 677
Ichigo and Renji both stared down at the food on their plates. Ichigo had dished it out because Renji had said he was hungry. But, apparently he'd finally found something that even Renji wasn't sure he wanted to eat.
“Are you sure it's safe?” He asked, poking at the food with his chopsticks, blinking when it didn't even jiggle very much. Not that he was sure if it was even supposed to jiggle. But...he was sure it wasn't supposed to be stone hard.
“Orihime wouldn't poison us.” Ichigo said. He left off the 'on purpose' that he had thought directly after his sentence.
“Yeah, but...” Renji poked it again.
“Oi, you scared of it??” Ichigo sneered with a grin. “Big, strong Abarai Renji is afraid of some food that a sweet little girl made for him.” he teased.
“I ain't either! But, I'm entitled to wonder where this food came from. Maybe somebody came in here and poisoned it 'cause they wanted to kill one of us. I AM a lieutenant, you know.” Renji said, drawing himself up to look more important.
Ichigo snorted. “Right. You weren't worried about that back when we thought Inoue had been kidnapped. You sat directly in front of her damn refrigerator and ate all of her food and drank all of the stuff she had in there to drink.”
“So? I was hungry.” Renji said, glaring. He didn't like how the younger Shinigami seemed to think he was stupid.
“Renji, you did all that while complaining that there wasn't anything good to eat in that fridge!” Ichigo exclaimed, exasperatedly.
“There wasn't!” Renji defended.
“Well, either way, that was stuff Orihime made for the most part and she made this, too, so if you didn't die back then, then you aren't going to die this time.” The Shinigami representative said.
“Yeah, but...” Renji began but was cut off by Ichigo, who was reaching the limit of his patience.
“Shut up and eat! You always complain so much about not getting enough food, so eat! I promised Inoue we'd try it!” Ichigo nearly shouted.
“I didn't make no promises!” Renji cried, eyes wide with disbelieving anger that Ichigo would try to hold him to a promise he hadn't been consulted in making in the first place.
“Fine. I'll tell Orihime that you thought she was trying to hurt you and you wouldn't try her food.” Ichigo said, glaring.
Renji made a face. He didn't want to make Inoue sad! It wasn't that he cared for her one way or another, but she was such a nice, sweet girl, so gentle and caring toward other people that he just didn't want to be responsible for making her upset without a good reason for it.
“Fine.” He grumbled, poking the lump on his plate again. “What's she call this shit, anyway?”
Ichigo picked some up with his chopsticks, though not easily as it didn't want to part from the rest of the hard lump, and lifted it up a bit. “Organic. She says it's really healthy.”
Renji shrugged and picked some up with his own chopsticks, popping it into his mouth a second or two after Ichigo had. It was only another couple of seconds before they both suddenly stopped chewing, simply holding the food in their mouths, eyes becoming wide and making some of the most awful faces anyone probably would've ever seen, before forcing themselves to swallow.
“Oh my God!” Renji cried, bringing a hand to his throat as if he had just realized he had indeed been poisoned.
“Fuckin hell!” Ichigo said through bouts of coughing.
It was several minutes, and a lot of water later before they had finally been able to settle down. The rest of the food had gone down the garbage disposal. They had both been astonished it hadn't broken the disposal.
“So...” Renji mumbled.
“We agreed, then?” Ichigo asked, looking over at Renji as if speaking of a very grave and serious matter.
“Yep. We tell her it was delicious.” Renji answered with a curt nod.
End
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters/merchandise. I am not making any profit or gaining any reward for writing this fanfiction, for its existence or distribution. I am not, nor am I affiliated with, the owner(s), share holder(s), affiliate(s), copyright(s) holder(s) of Bleach or its characters/merchandise of any kind.
Warnings: Language, humor, possible slight OOC
Prompt set: Green
Prompt: 10, Organic
Date: 1/20/08
Spoilers: Beginning of Bountou Arc
Word Count: 677
Ichigo and Renji both stared down at the food on their plates. Ichigo had dished it out because Renji had said he was hungry. But, apparently he'd finally found something that even Renji wasn't sure he wanted to eat.
“Are you sure it's safe?” He asked, poking at the food with his chopsticks, blinking when it didn't even jiggle very much. Not that he was sure if it was even supposed to jiggle. But...he was sure it wasn't supposed to be stone hard.
“Orihime wouldn't poison us.” Ichigo said. He left off the 'on purpose' that he had thought directly after his sentence.
“Yeah, but...” Renji poked it again.
“Oi, you scared of it??” Ichigo sneered with a grin. “Big, strong Abarai Renji is afraid of some food that a sweet little girl made for him.” he teased.
“I ain't either! But, I'm entitled to wonder where this food came from. Maybe somebody came in here and poisoned it 'cause they wanted to kill one of us. I AM a lieutenant, you know.” Renji said, drawing himself up to look more important.
Ichigo snorted. “Right. You weren't worried about that back when we thought Inoue had been kidnapped. You sat directly in front of her damn refrigerator and ate all of her food and drank all of the stuff she had in there to drink.”
“So? I was hungry.” Renji said, glaring. He didn't like how the younger Shinigami seemed to think he was stupid.
“Renji, you did all that while complaining that there wasn't anything good to eat in that fridge!” Ichigo exclaimed, exasperatedly.
“There wasn't!” Renji defended.
“Well, either way, that was stuff Orihime made for the most part and she made this, too, so if you didn't die back then, then you aren't going to die this time.” The Shinigami representative said.
“Yeah, but...” Renji began but was cut off by Ichigo, who was reaching the limit of his patience.
“Shut up and eat! You always complain so much about not getting enough food, so eat! I promised Inoue we'd try it!” Ichigo nearly shouted.
“I didn't make no promises!” Renji cried, eyes wide with disbelieving anger that Ichigo would try to hold him to a promise he hadn't been consulted in making in the first place.
“Fine. I'll tell Orihime that you thought she was trying to hurt you and you wouldn't try her food.” Ichigo said, glaring.
Renji made a face. He didn't want to make Inoue sad! It wasn't that he cared for her one way or another, but she was such a nice, sweet girl, so gentle and caring toward other people that he just didn't want to be responsible for making her upset without a good reason for it.
“Fine.” He grumbled, poking the lump on his plate again. “What's she call this shit, anyway?”
Ichigo picked some up with his chopsticks, though not easily as it didn't want to part from the rest of the hard lump, and lifted it up a bit. “Organic. She says it's really healthy.”
Renji shrugged and picked some up with his own chopsticks, popping it into his mouth a second or two after Ichigo had. It was only another couple of seconds before they both suddenly stopped chewing, simply holding the food in their mouths, eyes becoming wide and making some of the most awful faces anyone probably would've ever seen, before forcing themselves to swallow.
“Oh my God!” Renji cried, bringing a hand to his throat as if he had just realized he had indeed been poisoned.
“Fuckin hell!” Ichigo said through bouts of coughing.
It was several minutes, and a lot of water later before they had finally been able to settle down. The rest of the food had gone down the garbage disposal. They had both been astonished it hadn't broken the disposal.
“So...” Renji mumbled.
“We agreed, then?” Ichigo asked, looking over at Renji as if speaking of a very grave and serious matter.
“Yep. We tell her it was delicious.” Renji answered with a curt nod.
End