Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Hollow Charm ❯ Paying Attention ( Chapter 12 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters.

 

Paying Attention

 

She was trembling, and clenched her hands tightly to try to mask the shaking, attempting to hide the evidence of her fear in the folds of her skirt. This time, she would be brave and not let anyone witness her terror. If they knew she was scared it would make her look weak and she wanted to be thought strong; as strong and brave as Rukia or Tatsuki. She licked her lips as the question was asked again and this time she paid attention.

 

The man sitting on the elevated and isolated throne was the renegade Captain Aizen. He scared her by his apparent disinterest in her, but she noticed that while he did not seem to be concentrating, he was observing her closely. A flicker of his eye as he addressed the Arrancar, a sly observation, and then she was aware that his attention was solely on her. He smiled at her, a smile that did not make her feel anything but planted a seed of fear in her consciousness. To be noticed by the man who had put the Seireitei into an uproar and orchestrated Rukia's near execution was something to fear rather than something to be courted.

 

The instruction to heal Grimmjow confused her and her mind went into complete denial. “He wants me to heal Grimmjow, the one who hurt Ichigo and made him so uncertain? Should I heal him? If I heal him what will he do? Will he return and fight Ichigo? Will he kill him? What can I do? If I don't heal him will Aizen kill me or allow these others to do the job for him?”

 

Again she pictured her Good and Bad side, but instead of fighting about whose advice she should follow, they looked confused. They did not know how to help her this time, or any other time, if she was to be honest, but at least they normally gave some sort of guidance. She had to make this decision without any help, but it felt like the decision had been made for her already. Biting her lip she restored Grimmjow's arm while being subjected to the ravings of an Arrancar who gave every indication of wishing to kill her. It was a relief to hear those words cut off, but they were cut off only by the act of murder. Her restoration of Grimmjow's arm had caused the death of his replacement Espada. Did that make her responsible for his death? The conflict within her mind grew. Grimmjow's laughter and delight in causing death scared her.

 

The words uttered by Aizen after she proved her power made her feel as if she was a freak of some kind. Her power challenged that of God? What did he mean? She had the ability to heal, that was all. She had only ever questioned why her fighting power was so weak compared to Chad's. It had been obvious that Mr Urahara despised her skills while he had arranged for Chad to be given extra training. In her heart she suspected that Rukia was only being kind when she took her to Soul Society and schooled her. It was yet another example of the kindness her friends had shown to her, even though she knew she was more of a liability than an asset. Captain Aizen must be mistaken, her power was weak. All she could do was heal.

 

Abruptly changing the subject, the seated man commented “I remember hearing that Jidanbo had given you something in thanks for your efforts in healing him after Assistant Captain Ichimaru was forced to remind him of the role of a gate keeper. Some sort of cheap magical charm. Did you bring it with you?” The question was casual, but the eyes were guarded as the question was asked.

 

The charm? She'd placed that in Ichigo's hand when she was acting like a complete loser. For some reason when she had placed it in his hand she'd slipped it in, almost surreptitiously and she hadn't known why. It was probable she had been mindful of the advice that she would be observed to make certain that she did not ignore the instructions she had been given. Nothing had been mentioned about the charm, but for some reason she believed it was important. The mention of it confirmed her instinctive certainty.

 

“I know you took it from your room before you came here. I only wish to look at it because in some ways it has similar properties to your ability and it occurred to me that is might boost your talent. Orihime, I mean you no harm,” the smile on the man's face did not make her feel comfortable.

 

She went through the pantomime of searching her pockets for the charm. “I must have dropped it somewhere,” the lie slid off her tongue with unusual ease.

 

A small flicker of anger crossed Aizen's features. The expression was so small and so fleeting, that Orihime began to doubt she had seen it. “A shame, but it's not important. Try to recall where you may have `dropped' the item. I know you have no further use for it as you have already invoked it but its subtle influence may enhance your command over events that had already occurred.”

 

Orihime felt her mouth drop open in shock. How did he know she had used the charm? Why was he interested in it? That he had actually asked about the charm proved that it was of importance to him, but why would he want to repeat the same 4 hours over again? He must have been observing her for some time, longer than she had realised. How many of her private moments were less than private? She waited to feel anger, but could only summon a feeling of sadness. Her past was still there, she would still be able to experience those memories. It was her present and her future which were now subject to the whim of another person.

 

“I'll try to remember. I know I didn't drop it on purpose,” she responded, intentionally hesitating in her reply as if she felt unsure of her ability to bring to mind what had happened to the charm.

 

Under hooded eyes, Aizen shot a sharp glance at her. She kept her expression as confused and upset as possible. A small insincere smile crossed his face at her expression. She hoped that meant he believed her lies. Maybe the charm helped her now having first shown her the way to practice deceit. Without the experience of trying to mislead Ichigo, she doubted if it would have been possible to lie so convincingly to this man. At the same time she mourned her trickery of Ichigo. If they were ever together again she would never lie to him. Lie with him, definitely. The sudden unwanted thought embarrassed Orihime. Why was she having such trouble keeping her concentration?

 

It was a relief when Ulquiorra was commanded to take her and confine her to a room. She followed him from the Aizen's presence willingly, eager to be away from him. The Espada did not talk to her as he led her to the room and gave the briefest of instructions before he locked the door. Once she was alone, she sank to the floor and stared out the barred window at the night sky. The moon was there, but it did not seem friendly and the stars were absent. This place was cold and she shivered slightly, from fear or cold she was uncertain and wondered if anything would warm her while she was here.

 

At least she was free of the curious, hate filled and scared glances directed at her by the Arrancar. Would you call that room, which Aizen had presided over, a throne room? The chair on which Aizen sat attracted the gaze and dominated the room, in a similar manner to the way that the man who sat on the throne dominated all those who were around him. That would mean that Aizen thought of himself as a monarch, but who would wish to rule Hollows or Arrancar, creatures that were only interested in death and destruction? Considering this question she felt the small seed of fear within her grow. A person who wished to reign over such creatures and encourage their actions would not be her friend or even her protector. It was his instructions that brought her here for reasons she still did not understand. Gazing at the sky she tried to comprehend what he had meant. Her power was the ability to reverse, no not reverse, but the ability to reject events, not the healing power she thought she possessed.

 

She had agreed to accompany Ulquiorra to protect her friends. That was the only reason she was here and now she knew more about her abilities, but they would be put to use for the enemies of Soul Society who sought the destruction of her home. Would she be killed if she refused to cooperate?

 

Now she was alone her thoughts turned to the recurring hope and fear. Would Ichigo try to save her? Did he know she had left unwillingly? Would he come and rescue her? He had witnessed Rukia being taken from the human world unwillingly, and knew that she would be under sentence of death on her return to Soul Society. That was the impetus behind the decision to invade Soul Society, but he didn't know if Orihime was under threat. No one would know the reason that she had been brought here. If Ichigo came to save her, it meant he cared about her, but if he did he try to save her he would be in danger. Thinking about it only made her feel more nervous. Did she want him to save her if it placed him at risk? Reasoning this way would not help. Ichigo would act any way he thought was the best response to the situation. He made quick decisions and while they were not always right, it was one of the reasons she loved him.

 

Rising to her feet she looked around her prison. It was a prison, though there were no chains or rats. The windows were barred and she was locked in. Had anything been provided for her to read? The furnishings were basic, but the carpet was pretty. There seemed to be nothing that could be used to pass the time while she was here. She searched under the bed and found an old book, tattered, with pages missing, but at least she had something to read, rather than sitting, memorising the carpet's pattern. If she asked for books, would that be allowed, or did they want to crush her spirits by giving her too much time to reflect on her situation?

 

Sitting on the couch, she rested her head against the arm. Her eyes were closing and she realised how exhausted she was. She had not slept for what seemed like days and the thought of escaping from reality into dreams was alluring. When she woke up, this might all prove to have been a dream and then she could be with Ichigo once more. This time she would not allow the Hollow to interfere.

 

 

No dreams disturbed her slumber. Disorientated and cold she opened her eyes, shivering. She rubbed her hands along her arms in an effort to make them feel less frozen, but her hands were colder than her arms. Bringing her hands to her face she cupped them around her mouth, hoping her breath would warm them and it helped, a little. Why was her room different and why was it night time outside? Where were the stars and why did she feel chilled to the bone? She stood and looked out the window at the moon, as her memory of the events of the past day slowly returned.

 

“My spirit is sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find me there and lead me back home

 

Wake me up inside

Wake me up inside

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run before I come undone

Save me from the nothing I've become.”

 

The half remembered song crossed her mind as her eyes surveyed the stark landscape she could barely see due to the height of the window. If she was ever to return home, it would not be as a result of Aizen releasing her. He had a use for her and all she had heard made her certain that he was not a person who would give away anything which he thought would benefit him.

 

Sleep had not restored her and she felt burdened and less than herself, a contradiction she had trouble understanding. How could she feel empty and heavy at the same time? The growing anxiety made her limbs feel weighted and difficult to move. Being removed from her world created the emptiness. Here there would be little friendship. Hearing a whine from her stomach she knew that she was hungry which also partly explained the empty feeling, but did Arrancar eat? She knew Shinigami did, to restore reiatsu, but she knew nothing about Hollows except they liked to eat souls and as Arrancar and Espada were evolved Hollows, would they want to eat her soul? Would the former Captains stop them if they tried?

 

Returning to the couch she stared at the wall, her thoughts a confused mess. The cold was a constant distraction as was her hunger. In spite of herself she hoped that Ulquiorra would at least come to check she was still alive.

 

The building shuddered around her. At first she thought she was shaking from the cold that had awoken her, but it was not so. The floor was shaking, and she almost fell off the couch on which she had been resting due to the strong vibration. What could be happening? It must be an earthquake, but it seemed a little strange to have an earthquake in a place that was not Earth. Was the building collapsing? Recalling the lectures at school about safe places to be during an earthquake, she looked around the room only to see there was no safe place if the building disintegrated. The doorway was blocked by the door. She could hide under the table, but it seemed unsteady. Her heart was in her mouth as the tremors slowly subsided; she feared the quaking would grow stronger and there might be aftershocks. When the first set of tremors ceased, she looked at the ceiling and walls but they showed no damage. Hoping that they were stable she allowed herself to breathe as normal for a few minutes.

 

Walking over to the window, she tried to peer outside to see if there was any sign of a disruption, but was stymied by the height of the window. Not only did her captors neglect to provide her with food or any form of amusement, they also prevented her from looking outside. The apprehension that she would not be able to handle this new existence grew even stronger and she felt her heart begin to thump. What if she needed to use the bathroom? Her throat was parched and she wanted a drink, but there was no water or liquid to be seen. She speculated if it ever rained in this barren place but decided that rain might bring life to this dead world and thus rain was unlikely.

 

Bored with the view, her mind returned again to the time she had spent in the hotel with Ichigo. His flesh against hers had felt warm and the memory made her flush. When they were lying on the bed after she'd broken the glass, he had been so gentle with her, asking permission before he did anything, not trying to force her. If she ever managed to escape from here she wanted to go back to that hotel, the same room with Ichigo. He would manage to restrain his Hollow, of that she was certain.

 

Trying to ignore the fascinating ideas running through her mind, the conversation with Aizen made her pause and then examine the subject. “Ichigo won't know how to use the charm. He doesn't know all the rules, half of which I think I've forgotten. Does Rukia know about the charm? Will she explain to him? Why did Aizen ask about the charm? He said it was cheap, but he had seemed very aware that I had it in my possession when I left home.”

 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a sudden movement that drew her attention. Quickly turning her head, she saw a shape which made her heart soar. Jumping to her feet she went to embrace the figure, but her arms met empty air where there seemed to be substance. “Ichigo. No don't tell me you're dead. Please don't tell me this is your ghost.”

 

Tears sprang to her eyes and she felt her heart crack a little. Leaving him behind, leaving all her friends behind had dented it, but now that she believed her sacrifice was worthless she thought her heart would shatter. He would only be appearing to her like this if he was dead, to say his farewell before he went to Soul Society. If he had died, she wanted to die too and be reunited with him. If she could, she would become a Shinigami and learn to fight Hollows and Arrancar properly and maybe they could marry or live together and never need to be parted again. Knowing the brutal nature of the Espada, she was sure she could anger one of them enough to kill her; maybe Grimmjow would oblige her with her death. He seemed the least likely who would be content to follow orders of an ex-Shinigami.

 

“Dead? Who me? Why would I be dead? I was worried those tossers had killed you.” Ichigo's voice sounded a little faint, but she could still hear him.

 

“How can I see you? Did you learn some kido to do this? You must have or Uryu is helping you. Oh, Ichigo, I wanted to say goodbye but I was told I wasn't allowed to. I wanted to kiss you but I was too scared. I didn't trust you enough and I should have trusted you completely. Please forgive me, Ichigo.” The words tumbled out of her mouth, quickly replaced by others.

 

“Forgive you? Why? I think we can talk because of that charm you left me. When we got here, I was thinking about you, about the time we spent together,” his voice dropped a little as he said the last few words. “I was thinking about you, concentrating on where you might be, trying to feel your presence and I noticed something in my pocket was hot. I put my hand on it and ended up here, well not really here. Orihime, has anyone hurt you?” His voice was dark with concern and she realised his voice was much louder and he seemed more substantial than when he first appeared.

 

She shook her head her face finally breaking into a smile. “You knew I didn't come here of my own free will? You've come to save me? Oh, Ichigo,” forgetting he was not really there she tried to embrace him again. This time it was thicker air she hugged, and it felt odd.

 

“Do you think I'm as brainless as old man Yamamoto? He believed that you came here because you wanted to. I found your charm in the hand no one else could heal and I knew you wouldn't heal me or leave the charm unless you were trying to leave a message,” Ichigo smiled at her in return, but then a frown covered his face. “We're coming to save you, but we're a long way from here. Hang in there, Orihime. Trust me.”

 

“We're coming? Who else is with you?” Orihime found it hard to believe that Ichigo was in Hueco Mundo so quickly. Guilt engulfed her at the thought that her friends might experience peril in their attempt to rescue her.

 

“Chad and Uryu are with me. They insisted on coming and I couldn't stop them. You know Chad's been training, right?” As abruptly as he appeared, Ichigo vanished from sight.

 

Her head spinning in bewilderment Orihime returned to the couch. Was her imagination playing tricks on her? Was Ichigo really here with Chad and Uryu to rescue her, or was it a cruel hoax thought up by the former captains and the Arrancar to make her hope? Concentrating she tried to sense his presence. Since she had arrived in Hueco Mundo she had been unable to feel anyone and that had made her lonelier than even the absence of the stars. Until now she had not understood the comfort she gained from knowing her friends, and Ichigo, were near by. Closing her eyes in order to concentrate, her senses stretched through the walls that surrounded her. Faintly, very faintly she could feel Ichigo, Chad and Uryu. It wasn't her imagination, they were really here and preparing to rescue her.

 

The smile that covered her face vanished as the door opened to admit her primary gaoler, Ulquiorra. The way he strode into the room, his hands in his pockets, made her wonder how he managed to convey that feeling of calm assurance, as if he never doubted that what he was doing was correct and he never distrusted or questioned his instructions. Did he have such faith in the other Espada and Aizen that he never considered that his actions were wrong? Their version of right and wrong would be alien to her and she didn't really want to learn how they justified their acts. Perplexed at the direction of her thoughts she watched Ulquiorra.

 

“You were smiling, woman, just for a moment, as I came in. What is there to smile about? Are you happy to be here?” His voice held little interest in her possible answer.

 

“I was stretching my mouth, that's all. I like to exercise and mouth stretching limbers up the lips,” Orihime improvised and then covered the offending mouth with her hand. That excuse was weak. Even Kon would have trouble believing it, and this Arrancar was much more intelligent than the mod soul.

 

“Stretching your mouth?” The disbelief in his voice was evident. “Whatever it was, it matters little. Ichimaru suggested you might be hungry and desire some food and drink. Is the man correct? It is unlike him to be considerate of others.” Ulquiorra looked out the window, his lack of interest pronounced, as he asked the question.

 

Her stomach quivered at the mention of food and she was relieved that it didn't make any noise. “I am hungry and thirsty.”

 

“I'll have some food sent to you,” his voice dropped a little. “Don't even hope for rescue. Aizen wants you here and if he desires you to remain, I will make certain that you never leave. Forget all the rules that applied in your world. Forget all the lies about honour and duty you have been told. You now belong here whether by your choice or not.” He turned on his heel and left the room.

 

“I hope he doesn't forget the food,” Orihime thought despairingly. Now she knew Ichigo was safe and on his way to rescue her, her hunger assailed her demanding to be satisfied. At least it was a distraction from the other, more disturbing, thoughts regarding right and wrong and the new rules she would need to learn and observe. It was extremely probable that these would violate her precepts, but thinking about this did not make her wish to consider it further.

 

Making a decision she pushed aside all the anxieties which were pressing for her attention. She would prefer to recall those precious hours when she was alone with Ichigo. Even some of the worst moments when she was repeating the same events over again, even when Ichigo was being cold toward her were precious recollections. This actuality was too cruel and only the knowledge that Ichigo was in Hueco Mundo made it bearable.

 

 

 

Author's Note:

 

The comments in brackets are by my muse who is now demanding her time in the A.N. (About time.)

 

While writing the part featuring Orihime in this chapter, I was listening to Fallen by the group Evanescence, especially the song Bring Me to Life and it influenced my mood very strongly and thus it ended up in the story. (I told you about that song.) Yes, and then you forced me to listen to Sexy Back. Justin Timberlake, for heaven's sake!

 

The earlier versions of this chapter were wiped as they were so close to canon they were boring to write and probably would have been worse to read and that explains why it took so long to post this chapter. My muse has now developed a passion for chocolate muffins and darkly mutters about the distinct lack of lemonade. I think I might put her on a diet. (If you put me on a diet I'll withdraw my support. I can read and where is my lemonade?)

 

Thank you to the people who have reviewed. (Yes, thanks. It makes MS less of a drag to live with.)

 

Please review. (Please. You don't have to live with this author.)

 

MS