Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Last Hope ❯ Part 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Last Hope (94) Part 1

Author/Artist: theablackthorn

Rating: Adult/Mature/NC-17

Prompt: Tell me what you want - Stolen D/S Naruto prompt.

Pairing: Hinted Kira/Gin past, Ukitake/Kyoraku, hinted Kyoraku/Ukitake/Starrk.

Warnings: BDSM in future.

AN: Part of my 100 Themes Challenge

 

“Kira-kun, may I speak with you for a moment?”

 

Kira looked up from where he had been staring out at the crowd, he'd positioned himself in the shadows at the side of the large club, somewhere he could watch people and keep his back to the wall. His startled blue gaze shifted to the man that had managed to draw up beside him without a sound. He immediately tried to compose himself; gaze dropping from the tender brown look aimed his way, nodding his assent, “Hai, Ukitake-san.”

 

He felt nerves flutter in his stomach, it was rare for Ukitake to approach anyone, and it was well known that he and Kyoraku-san were a partnership that had been together for a long time.

 

Though there had been rumours that they had adopted a third person into their play.

 

Kira's hand came up, the gloved fingers settling over his stomach as he went to follow the other man, but he paused when a hand reached out to him.

 

“Kira-kun, please look at me.”

 

Ukitake watched as Kira's confusion showed in the stiffening of his shoulders, the new dip between his brows and the hand at his stomach which seemed to be an attempt to settle his nerves. But he was happy to see those bright blue eyes look at him, even though it was under the veil of pale eyelashes as Kira's head remained bowed.

 

The older man could hear the confusion and worry in Kira's voice when the blond spoke, “Ukitake-san?”

 

He sighed and let a small smile curl the corners of his lips, “I just wanted to talk to you Kira-kun, nothing more. Please don't be nervous.” He watched the blond haired man intently, studying his reaction to his words and seeing those slender shoulders drop, tension departing easily now that he didn't feel threatened. And it was that, that had been concerning Ukitake most.

 

After everything that had happened, he feared that Kira being here wasn't the best of ideas. Here being Indulgence one of the few more… risky clubs' in the area, aimed at a more unique clientele. He held out a hand to the pale man, that smile never leaving his lips, “Let's go somewhere a little quieter, ne?”

 

Kira eyed that hand cautiously, not truly sure whether he should be touching someone else in this environment for fear of what it meant. There was so much that he hadn't been taught by his Master - correction - his previous Master.

Even though he had been in the scene for many years he felt like a novice. He looked up cautiously, brow furrowed. When he saw the reassuring smile on Ukitake-sans face he reached out tentatively, his own leather gloved hand sliding into Ukitake's pale one. When he fully took in the other man, he was surprised to notice that his attire didn't really fit with were they were. He wore black dress slacks; comfortable worn leather shoes and a cream coloured shirt open to below his breast bone, no hint of leather or metal anywhere. Though he did notice what looked like a small kanji symbol nestled at the base of Ukitake's throat and he flushed before looking away from the pale skin, knowing that the mark was something shared between lovers.

 

When the ivory haired man drew him away from the wall and slowly guided him through the bodies milling around the club he felt his hackles go up, his eyes shifting frantically around, searching for a familiar pair of eyes that would watch him from the darkness, waiting for the touch of grasping hands that would mean pain for the rest of the night.

 

By the time they reached the other side of the club Kira's body was thrumming with adrenaline and he was panting, eyes darting around fearfully. When he felt Ukitake's hand tighten around his own he tried to pull away, but when it tightened further he panicked, shaking the hand that held his own until it let go and he swiftly backed away, heart pounding in his throat as he felt a sudden wave of dizziness and disorientation flood his sense.

 

Ukitake had noticed that Kira was becoming increasingly distressed and had hoped to get him out of the dark, crowded room, but when the younger man had tried to pull away he had reacted on instinct tightening his hold, which he now cursed himself for.

 

He should have let go.

 

Now Kira was in the midst of a panic attack and he wasn't certain what to do about it. He didn't dare reach out and try to touch the blond-haired man again, so he approached cautiously, hands raised at his sides so Kira could see them, though those blue eyes were darting frantically about and Ukitake could see his chest heaving inside the leather bindings of his corset.

 

He moved a few steps closer, effectively backing Kira up against a wall, which he had noted earlier, seemed to reassure the blond. He started to speak in a low, soothing tones, hands remaining in view, “Kira-kun, everything is alright. He's not here. He's gone now - remember? He can't hurt you anymore.”

 

Ukitake continued along those lines, encouraging and trying his best to sooth the agitated man. And he was relieved to see Kira's gaze returning to him after each trip they made around the room, his breathing slowing and after about ten minutes he could see the other was slowly calming.

 

When the blond haired man went to drop to his knees, Ukitake slowly stepped forward, hands cupping Kira's forearms to preventing him from dropping, speaking quickly, “It's alright Kira-kun, please just come with me. We'll go and get some air, okay?”

 

Kira felt his breathing ease and as his mind caught up with what had just happened, he felt mortification and dread bubble up in his gut. He had reacted appallingly towards Ukitake-san and would be punished, and it was that thought that had him trying to drop to his knees, head lowered in absolute submission.

 

He was surprised again to find warm, calloused palm's cupping his bare forearms, sending a flood of conflicting feelings through him. A mix of relief, intensity, distaste and fear, he wasn't quite sure which he should be truly feeling, and what was a result of his life leading up to this point.

 

He glanced up momentarily to see those familiar features set in a tender smile, brown eyes warm and understanding. At Ukitake's suggestion he nodded slowly, letting the other man take his hand once more, but remaining close to him as they slipped through a thick oak panelled door that he noted was signed as being for employees only.

 

Kira didn't protest though, Ukitake was his superior here and he would follow whatever the man suggested, as was appropriate.

 

He was led up a short flight of stairs, the carpet under his leather shod feet a deep chocolate brown, with a thick nap, something he could imagine curling his toes into luxuriously, like a cat. He kept his eyes down, trained on the carpet, the steps and Ukitake-san's grip on his leather clad fingers. When they stepped out into a much cooler open space he looked up with startled wide eyes, not liking the room's openness, or the lack of a wall behind him. Kira felt exposed in this new environment. It was somewhere he had never been and what he was wearing didn't fit in with the normality of the setting, his wide eyes stare showed him more of that thick pile chocolate carpet, the walls lined with pine panelling at the bottom and a pale cream coloured paint at the top.

 

The leather he wore didn't fit here.

 

His hand drifted to his stomach again, those butterflies twisting and spinning in his gut once more. He kept his gaze trained on the long flow of ivory in front of his gaze, following Ukitake blindly down one hall until he heard the other man exhale slowly and speak, the tone of his voice cheerful and warm “We're here.”

 

Kira looked up and took in the small lounge that spread out before him. There was a small cluster of red couches in one corner surrounding a coffee table and a small kitchen off to the left and Ukitake-san was guiding him to the low sofas. He assumed that this must be the employee lounge, and he was uncertain why or how Ukitake-san had gained access to this place and that made him a little suspicious and uncomfortable.

 

Ukitake had been giving Kira subtle glances as they had moved through the upper floor of the club, you could barely feel the base beat from the floor below, he was analysing his reactions and noting that nervous gesture Kira had once again.

 

He carefully turned and nudged his companion onto one of the comfortable sofas, allowing the blond haired man an individual chair that had its back to the wall. Once having sat the blond down he made his way over to the kitchenette to brew some tea, hoping that it would help to sooth the nervous blond. When he turned back he noted that, though Kira appeared to be completely still, he was exhibiting odd little ticks that showed that he was nervous in this environment.

 

Ukitake walked back to where he deposited the young man, carefully placing his tea on one side of the coffee table and handing the other to Kira. Who took it carefully from his fingers. Ukitake noticed how the blond made sure not to make contact with his hands as he did so, even though he was still wearing gloves. The older man sat slowly down, watching the other man and seeing far too much of what Kira likely wouldn't want him to see.

 

He had taken this task upon himself because he was worried for the blond. He had no intention of taking the man to his and Kyoraku's bed.

 

The partner they had chosen for that was special to them.

 

But as Kyoraku often told him, he needed to fix things for others. His heart was soft and warm and there was something inside him that needed to help, to fix things for the people he cared about. And though he didn't know Kira well due to his previous situation, he knew him enough to observe, and know deep down, that Kira needed guidance.

 

He settled himself comfortably on the plush sofa, hands cupped around his tea cup, as he inhaled the rich scent of jasmine before he spoke. “Kira-kun, do you know why I wished to speak with you?”

 

Kira eyed the man opposite him, gaze still lowered, focused on the tea cup that had been given to him. The other man had yet to give him permission to drink, and though the scent and warmth of the cup through the material of his gloves was enticing he daren't go against the other man again. He did not want to be punished. When Ukitake spoke to him, he wasn't sure whether he was supposed to voice his thoughts, so he carefully shook his head.

 

Ukitake sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, feeling the soft cotton of his pressed trousers' rub softly against his elbows. He spoke softly, but with purpose, hoping it would reach the blond. “Kira. We're not downstairs anymore; we're not in a scene. You do not need my permission to look at me or to drink the tea I gave you. Please talk to me.”

 

Kira wasn't certain what to make of Ukitake's words, feeling confused by what was happening. So he followed what he would have done before, “Yes, Sir.”

 

Ukitake tutted softly, “Kira-kun.”

 

Ukitake sighed once more, rubbing a thumb across the top of his hand as he held his tea cup, feeling the warmth filter into his skin. He decided that it would be best to try and clarify the situation to Kira. There was confusion writ clear across Kira's face, making it quite clear that he didn't know why he was here if not for a scene.

 

“I am not the Master here, alright. It would be better to say that we are friends with similar interests. So please, do not call me that.”

 

Kira gave the other man a fleeting glance, taking in his posture, his emotional tells and seeing that the other man was not angered but exhibiting a patients his previous Master had not.

 

He was quiet for a few minutes, processing Ukitake's words and realising that this wasn't some sneaky way of trapping him. Ukitake wasn't the kind of person who would do that. It wasn't in his nature.

Though Kira didn't know him well, his Master had spoken of the ivory haired man often with a sneer of distaste. But in Kira's eyes what Ukitake was and who he let himself be was an admirable trait, he was honest with himself, which was far more than Kira had managed. “H-hai, Ukitake-san.”

 

Ukitake watched the cogs turning in Kira's head and was pleased that the other man was finally considering what he had said to him. When he called him Ukitake-san he paused for a moment but relented. Kira didn't know him well enough to just call him by his name. “That - better.”

 

Kira slowly raised his head, finally looking around the room before his gaze settled on Ukitake-san once more, feeling question's bubbling up inside him that he wasn't sure that he should ask. “Ukitake-san?”

 

Ukitake relaxed somewhat and sipped at his tea, humming his pleasure at the sweet, woodsy flavour before Kira spoke his name questioningly. “Hmmm… yes, Kira-kun.”

 

Kira watched the other man relax, sipping his tea in contentment and he felt almost jealous of his ability to be so comfortable with himself and others. He had never felt that way, but he hoped someday he would. He pushed those thoughts aside and focused on his true interest, “Why did you want to see me?”

 

Ukitake's brown eyes opened to look back at the man sat across from him, taking in the pale skin, the far too thin frame that was made thinner still by a tightly buckled corset, black leather shorts and thigh high stockings tucked inside knee high boots.

 

Kira looked so delicate and small inside those clothes and he could see that the corset was easily restricting his breathing. He looked back into curious sapphire pools and spoke quietly, “This may sound rather intrusive…, “ Ukitake winced at that, feeling that he was crossing some boundaries that the blond haired man may not want to discuss, but feeling that there was some need there, “… but I am concerned about you. Please do not be offended by that.”

 

Kira's eyebrow's rose as he sat back from the table, hands tightening on the cup in his hands before he moved a hand to shift the blond fringe that hid his left eye from sight, sifting the strands enough that he could eye the other man with both eyes. “I don't understand, Ukitake-san. Why would you be concerned for me? We are not… close.”

 

What Ukitake said made little sense to the blond haired man. Nobody really knew him here and, though he had been with his Master before, he had been forbidden from interacting with anyone.

 

Ukitake felt guilt squeeze around his heart, a weight that had settled there long ago as he had watched this man's abuse by his so-called Master, his hands tied as to how to solve it.

 

Sadness and regret coloured his words, “No, Kira-kun we are not, but it is not for a lack of wanting to be on my part. I have been concerned for you for a long time now. Unfortunately due to, unavoidable circumstances, I was unable to assist you. Now, I wish to rectify that.”

 

Kira's eyes widened at Ukitake's words and he withdrew further, he didn't want to talk about him, he couldn't, not yet, maybe not ever.

The pain that constricted his chest was a constant reminder of the man that had kept him captive with his own desires and needs. He felt something drop in his stomach at the idea that this man might head down that path, made him voice a soft whine of protest, “Please…don't…I…”

 

Ukitake could see the distress in Kira's posture and the way his face darkened. The other man had drawn back, tucking his legs closer to himself, the relaxed atmosphere vanishing rapidly. He didn't want that so he spoke quickly, disrupting Kira's sentence, “I will not broach that subject with you Kira-kun. Not directly anyway. I wish to help you now and in time perhaps you will feel more comfortable discussing that, ne?”

 

Kira listened to Ukitake's words, feeling that pressure that felt like a lead weight on his shoulders ease at the reassurance that Ukitake-san wouldn't speak of him, or their shared past.

He nodded his assent, but he remained curled tightly in on himself, gaining what little comfort he could from the warmth of the room, the soft cushions surrounding him, the wall at his back and the gentle stare that never seemed to leave him for long. “Hai, Ukitake-san.”

 

He felt his own curiosity reach out tentatively, curious to know what Ukitake wanted from him, coloured by his Master's perception's, “May I ask what you want to help me with?”

 

Ukitake gave the blond haired man a soft smile athis question, seeing a hint of the man that had been suppressed by his Master's needs and desires. It looked like Kira was still in there somewhere. Though he was buried deep. “Now that is an easy question, a good place to begin I think.”

 

He nodded positively, noting the presence that now stood at the back of the room, though his gaze didn't waver from the blonde's, not wanting him to notice the other man. He didn't want to undo what had been achieved so far. “Kira-kun, from the behaviour I have seen you exhibit whilst you have been at the club, I would say that you know very little of the etiquette and rules of this world. Am I right?”

 

Kira flushed at Ukitake's words, feeling all the more like a novice in Ukitake's company. He turned his gaze to the ground; finger's shifting nervously and creaking inside their leather casements. “H-hai, Ukitake-san. I was never… taught.”

 

Ukitake nodded his understanding, feeling for the blond haired man as he remembered his own early excursions into the lifestyle he now enjoyed. He had been a fish out of water until he'd met Shunsui. “Then I would like to propose something to you.”

 

Kira's gaze came up at the idea of a proposition, a degree of hope wheedling its way into his heart as he stared at the other man with interest, though he tried to smother the emotion, knowing that disappointment often came hand in hand with hope. “Please do, Ukitake-san.”

 

Ukitake placed his cup down on the coffee table; missing it's warmth but wanting to allow his hands the freedom to express what they wished. He had found out a long time ago that he often articulated as much with his hands as he did with his voice, and he wanted Kira to believe, he wanted to fan the flame he could see inside the fragile man. “I would like to help you understand this world a little better. I think that you are rather like me, Kira-kun.”

 

Kira was taken aback by Ukitake's claim, he was nothing like this man who sat before him. There was an understated confidence and reassurance about Ukitake that Kira had never had, this man was clearly happy and he, well he wasn't.

 

He remained as he had before, alone and unfulfilled, frightened of his own shadow, and the touch of other's. He shook his head subconsciously, before speaking, looking for answers, “How so, Ukitake-san?”

 

Ukitake watched as turmoil rippled over Kira's feature's, but he waited for the other man to voice the question he clearly wished to and he answered as best able, hands flowing and gesticulating slowly, as though aware that a rapid movement may scare away the rabbit they were trying to turn into a lion, “You do not fit downstairs, amongst the other Doms and Subs. You have a need for something more than just casual flings, though you have been contenting yourself with that for the past few weeks. You like being submersed in the scene, either that or it is all you have known in private. We very rarely saw you here before, so I can only assume that is how you were kept before.”

 

Kira stuttered, feeling his throat tighten at the allusion to his past, “I… he… yes.” He stopped to take a deep breath, feeling the corset tighten around his chest and reminding him to take slow deep breaths. He continued slowly, heat filling his cheeks as he kept his gaze down, embarrassed by his lack of knowledge, “I was - kept - before Ukitake-san, but you are correct in my lack of knowledge.”

 

Ukitake took note of the blush and the sudden loss of eye contact and reacted instantly, “That is nothing to be ashamed of Kira-kun, both are perfectly acceptable in this world. But I think that you are searching for something else to, something that I believe you need as well as want.” He had been watching the blond haired man over the last few weeks, how he went along with the Dom's that approached him, searching for something and coming away with shadows under his eyes and a bone deep loneliness that hovered around him like a shroud. He hadn't liked it and he thought that what he assumed was correct, Kira needed stability, a constant in his life to ground him.

 

Kira looked up then. Cheeks flushed pink, mouth open slightly in shock at the words that seemed to fit, to lock into place inside him. “Yes…”

 

He needed someone else, but he was frightened of it, worried beyond reason that someone else would be just like him. His brow furrowed once more, his hands resting the cup down on the side, the heat of the ceramic gone as the tea cooled. His hands twinned together, clutching and squeezing as he thought through what Ukitake had said and faced the thought that he may never find what he needed. It made him feel a desperate, desolation inside himself. As though a desert storm had ripped through his body and scowered it clean, leaving nothing behind.

 

Ukitake's words penetrated Kira's ears were he had been lost in thought and emotion, “You are a lot like me then Kira-kun. You wish to have someone to share this lifestyle with you - a partner, not just a Dom.”

 

And that was the crux of it wasn't it? Kira had never had that, but he needed it so fiercely. He whispered his response, saddened by the loss he had suffered and had endured to find that he was no better off than before. He would be lucky to find some who would want someone so broken, “H-hai.”

 

Ukitake could see depression sneaking onto Kira's features, his eyes darkening, head dipping low, arm's furling around himself and he continued on as if it wasn't so, “That makes this a little easier then I think.”

 

Kira looked up, dejectedly, feeling a weight bearing down on him that he couldn't displace, “How so, Ukitake-san?”

 

Ukitake continued, eyes watching Kira from the side as he looked down at his tea cup and swiftly rose to refill it, speaking as he moved around, “There is someone I would like you to meet, but not tonight. He has been looking for something much like you are Kira-kun and I believe you will make a good match.”

 

Kira's gaze followed the ivory haired man as he went through the motions of filling the kettle and turning it on. Ukitake turned and leant against the counter, eyes not straying from his face. Kira arched a brow, that unfamiliar curiosity peaked at the mention of someone who was searching for the exact same thing as himself, “You know someone looking for something more than a fling, Ukitake-san?” He felt his breath catch and he voiced the question that had risen inside him, if Ukitake said yes then perhaps… “Would you… would you vouch for him?”

 

Ukitake smiled, not a small smile, but one filled with warmth and happiness, it reassured Kira immensely and he leant forward to listen to Ukitake's next words, “Yes, most assuredly. He is a good man Kira-kun and I believe you will be well suited and, if not, I think that he would be a good friend to you.”

 

Kira felt excitement bubble up inside him at the idea of finding someone that might accept him, or at the very least someone he could talk to. It had been so long, his Master had kept him from everyone he had cared about as a child, removing him from his friends, a flash of warm piercing brown eyes assailed him and he pushed it away, the longing he felt wasn't so easily dislodged though. It had been so hard for Kira, he wasn't exceptionally gifted socially, but he had missed his friends desperately. He looked up at Ukitake searchingly, “Why not tonight, Ukitake-san?”

 

Ukitake, eyed the costume that Kira wore and smiled indulgently before answering Kira's question, amused and heartened by his eagerness, “I think this meeting would do better in a less… influential setting. Will you meet me for lunch tomorrow Kira-kun and I will introduce you?”

 

“I…” Kira took a deep breath, hands clenching together, nerves fluttering madly in his stomach as he considered Ukitake's proposal before speaking again, “Alright, Ukitake-san.”

 

“Good. I hope Kira-kun that this will help you to some extent. Please feel free to speak with me or Kyoraku in future. We would like to be friends that you can speak with if you have questions, or if you'd just like a cup of tea.” Ukitake smiled at the blond, stepping away from the counter and tea making facilities to walk forward and slowly place his hand on Kira's shoulder, squeezing the bare skin gently.

 

Kyoraku had watched from the doorway as his lover worked and he felt happy for Juushiro that he had gotten the kid looking in the right direction. He had met the man that his lover spoke of and he could see that the blond would fit well with him. His deep voice curled lazily across the room, “Mah, Juushiro, we need to be going.”

 

Kira looked around quickly at the deep tenor coming from the doorway and stiffened in response, eyes flicking from Kyoraku-san to were Ukitake-sans' fingers were pressed to his bare shoulder. Dread filled his stomach like a pit of acid burning inside him and he inhaled sharply. His gaze shifted again when Ukitake-san spoke, mouth dropping open in surprise.

 

“Hai, my apologies for keeping you.”

 

Kyoraku gave the little blond a smile, seeing his surprise amused the brunet immensely, though he did need to remind Juu-chan why they were going. “It's alright love. But Starrk's waiting on us.”

 

Ukitake nodded at his lover, turning back to look at Kira, giving him a slight shake when he noted his gaze fixed on Kyoraku, “Kira-kun, I shall see you at one o'clock tomorrow at Kisuke's café. Do you know it?”

 

Kira shook himself out of his slightly shocked state, taking in the smiles on both men's faces before looking up at Ukitake-san once more. He stood up slowly, Ukitake's hand falling from his shoulder as he did so. He bowed low to both men, speaking from his bowed position, “Hai, Ukitake-san, my apologies for keeping you from your meeting.”

 

Ukitake chuckled warmly and Kira felt his lips want to twitch into a smile at the warmth that filled his heart at the sound, “Nonsense. I am just happy that we were able to have this conversation. Good night, Kira-kun.”

 

Kira rose from his bow, hands staying at his sides as he watched Ukitake make his way across the room to his partner. He watched with a little pinch of jealousy as big hands gently reached out and cradled the slighter man against a broad chest.

 

He sighed quietly as he spoke, “Good night, Ukitake-san, Kyoraku-san.”

 

Grey eyes lit with warmth and mirth looked over at him then, “Just Kyoraku kid, you'll make me feel old.”

 

Kira wasn't certain how to take those words or the look that came with them but he did his best, “H-hai, Kyoraku.”

 

The brunet smiled at the confused blond, pleased he wasn't a `san' to anyone now, it was an unhappy reminder of his own past that he was glad to do away with. “Better.”

 

Ukitake smiled up at his lover, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to a stubbled cheek before turning back to Kira, smiling happily, “Goodnight, Kira-kun.”

 

“Goodnight.” Kira watched the pair leave, Kyoraku's arm firmly holding Ukitake against his side as they departed. He sat down on the sofa for a few minutes, taking in everything that had been said, but after a short while he felt a little uncomfortable sat in the lounge on his own in his costume. So he rose slowly, slipping back the way he had come and emerging into the dark club, making a bee-line for the door, his coat and home. He felt something starting to unfurl inside him and a small smile curled his lips. Maybe there was such a thing as a second chance.

 

For once he let hope rise and remain as he got in a cab and went back to his flat, anticipation rife as he waited for the morrow.