Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ My Hero, You Bastard ❯ You Can't Go Home Again ( Chapter 1 )

I honestly couldn't give you an episode number or chapter after which this is set, as I don't pay enough attention. Theoretically, you should be able to pick it up, though you might have been paying less attention than me (or I might have been hallucinating >.>)

 

Of Disclaimers and Whatnot: I don't own Bleach, which you should be thankful for - I'd likely wind up turning it into some sort of soap opera O.o Thanks to Tite Kubo, though, it doesn't resemble what one might find on such programs, though wouldn't Orihime be suited to one?

 

 

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You Can't Go Home Again

 

 

The two women stood twenty yards apart, both panting heavily from the efforts of their respective attacks. The force of two rudimentary shunko attacks had driven a chasm into the ground between them, but neither Soi Fong, nor Yoruichi, seemed to notice the damage they had caused. Each was watching the other closely, warily, half-expecting - and even half-welcoming - another attack. Moments passed, and no such attack came.

 

“You left me.”

 

Soi's words were full of bitterness, accusation, and hurt, though not dripping with the loathing they'd contained earlier. She then sunk to her knees, though whether this was out of exhaustion, or if she was simply overwhelmed, Yoruichi couldn't have said. The words lingered in the air between them, as real and unwelcome as the hole their fight had etched into the very bedrock of the Soul Society, left alone for so many decades that they had become their own entity, possessing the captain and driving her to this point. Undeniable, inerasable, and unforgiving, they taunted the woman at whom they were directed, daring her to try to soothe them away, knowing that no words spoken in her defense would ever completely remove their mark.

 

Resigned, Yoruichi shunpoed to where her former subordinate had crumpled, sinking too to her knees, resting a comforting hand on Soi's shoulder. At first, the younger woman flinched away from the touch, dark eyes shooting a warning. Another moment of stillness and silence passed before Yoruichi spoke again, her tone frank and honest, devoid of any real emotion.

 

“Because I trusted you.”

 

`…because she trusted me?!' the inner snarl matched the expression on the woman's face as she slapped the offending hand away, rising to her feet as she glared down at Yoruichi. “Trust,” Soi spat. “Good reason for leaving someone without any sort of explanation. Trust is a brilliant reason for abandoning someone you care about.”

 

Half of her regretted the words as soon as they left her lips - not the idea behind them, but that they opened a door for an admission that no, Yoruichi didn't care. She had been miserable after her mentor left, had gone through hell, had become almost a different person because she felt that Yoruichi didn't care. At the time, though, this had been a suspicion; the captain wasn't certain conformation wouldn't kill her inside.

 

Both women were silent once more, and Yoruichi knew the shinigami was remembering, as she herself was doing. Back… back before, Soi had been an extension of her. The cat had once described her to Kisuke as her zanpakuto, but that didn't even begin to describe the connection. No, Soi Fong was not just the zanpakuto, but the arm that wielded it, the nerves that connected that arm to the brain, perhaps even a part of the brain itself. At no point had Yoruichi had feelings that could even try to rival the devotion Soi had towards her, but she couldn't deny that in leaving Soul Society, she had left a piece of her behind, one she could never regain. Friendship was a tricky thing, and her actions had broken theirs beyond repair. This wasn't something she could take back, wasn't something time would repair.

 

The memories danced through Soi's mind unbidden, unwelcome, serving both to reinforce the hurt she felt, and to tear open old wounds. The times she had tried so hard to prove herself to Yoruichi, only to be soundly bested by her idol (“Give it time. You'll improve,” were the nonchalant words spoken, doing little to soothe Soi's wounded pride. Yoruichi, though, was practically a god in her eyes, and so it took little for her commander to cheer her up.). The times she had hastily pushed away any of Yoruichi's attempts to treat her as a human, rather than a subordinate (“Really, Soi,” Yoruichi sighed, rolling her eyes. “I swear, you're the only person in Soul Society who wants to be treated like dirt.”). The times she had felt completely and utterly at ease (“If you don't stop falling asleep on my floor,” Yoruichi teased, “the others might worry I don't pay you enough to keep your own set of rooms!”).

 

Generally, such happy memories might have eased the bitter taste the captain got in her mouth at the utterance of the words Yoruichi Shihoin. Despite the happy times they'd shared, though, her hero, her idol, her goddess, had ripped herself from Soi's life, left her more alone than she had ever felt in her life. Such an action was beyond forgiveness, and Soi eyed the dark-skinned woman warily, readying herself for battle once more.

 

Now, Yoruichi stood, amber eyes full of feeling as they stared into Soi's dark ones, the renewed effect of Yoruichi's presence over her momentarily petrifying the captain.

 

“You were the only one I trusted,” she spoke, tone firm, words slow, ensuring that the message got through. “You were the only one who could take over what I'd left behind. If I'd told you, I'd have had to order you to stay behind and… well, knowing my luck that'd be the time you started disobeying orders,” she admitted, her smile hesitant, but purely Yoruichi.

 

Soi shifted her eyes to the ground, expression every bit that of a child who refused to admit that they were wrong. As if by magic, Yoruichi's words had fixed everything! Of course Yoruichi couldn't have told her - and she'd earned the honor to take over what her mentor had left, earned it with her sweat, her blood, and her utter devotion. Yoruichi had gifted her with the utmost confidence, had rewarded what Soi had given her. She was the woman's protégé, and had received everything that went along with such an honor!

 

`No.' the thought was so forceful that had it been a spoken word, Soi would have winced. `She gave me this for all the reasons she said, and sure, she cares, but the fact is… what I went through… no rationale can make that better. I'm different now, Yoruichi made me different. I can't think of her how I did, can't see her as I did. Everything's different. Everything's changed.'

 

This realization was a sad one, but one that could not be danced around. A truce was formed, small sparks of past friendship getting brighter, but this was different. In the past centuries, Soi had seen Yoruichi as a precious commodity, a friend, and eventually an enemy, but always as some sort of god. It was now that, for the first time, she could finally see her as a human, as an equal. And it was only now, with it nothing but small remnants, that Yoruichi grasped the depths of Soi's devotion, and the effect that her abrupt departure had had on her former bodyguard. Each knew that they could never go back. Anything they wanted to build now would have to be done around the rubble of the bond each had so thoroughly destroyed.