Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ My Truest Love ❯ My Truest Love ( Chapter 1 )

My Truest Love


I am walking through the Seireitei thinking of the man I love and adore. The man I love is powerful yet his body is weak. I know being a healer, I can be a great help to him. I want to touch him, need to touch him but the fear of rejection keeps me from my love. Nevertheless, the guilt is eating me away! Standing by, not helping my moon and stars, feels like a zanpakuto thrusting into my heart.

Even though, when he has to stay in the ward, I do sneak into his room at night, to give him my healing reiatsu. Just being able to touch and caress his body drives me insane. I want to weep at how hard I become just from something that simple.

Beautiful is such a mundane word to describe him, looking at him causes an ecstasy of the eyes and the soul. Oh how sweet and gentle he is, how deeply he cares for others. His reiatsu so overwhelming that even his weak constitution cannot overshadow it.

Therefore, I know he would be quite gracious, if I told him my feelings. Only the little pride I have refuses to be pitied. It would hurt so much if he just humored me.

Still it is so tempting to throw my pride to the dogs. His charisma is so catching that you just love to be around him. His energy is so positive and uplifting.

I look like such a fool, with my face awestruck, because I am fortunate enough to have those steel gray eyes twinkle at me. Then he smiles at me, my heart feels faint. I know that smile will haunt my dreams. They always do.

My angel is a Taicho and I have loved him for a long time. He is just not any captain, he is one of the two firsts to become one from the academy.

My love for him does not fade, if anything it just grows stronger every time I see him or just think of him, like now. Sometimes, like a child, I purposely find him, just to brush a part of my body against his garb. He looks so dashing in his uniform, so handsome and sure.

Oh God! I have to think of something, anything to ease this agonizing desire. My sanity will not last much longer. He is just so perfect for me; everything I could ever want or need the captain has in abundance.

My very cowardly mind keeps me from him. Keeping me from falling to my knees before him, kissing his feet, licking his legs, sucking his… I just do not know to do! My heart is screaming at me, to be his to use. My soul cries to share his bed, to allow my reiatsu, to heal my desire all through the night.

Should I follow my heart and have at least a slim chance at happiness? On the other hand, continue to follow my mind and live in abject misery, yet safe?

Maybe it is time I show a little bravery; prove that I am a little worthy of him. Yes that is what I will do, right now. No matter what, at least I can say, I gave my heart and soul to someone who is more than worthy of it.