Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Negative Space ❯ Broken ( Chapter 17 )

Movement woke me as the bed dipped and my body bonelessly rolled forward. I sucked in a startled breath and shied away from the movement as my desire to go back to sleep nagged at me. I felt like I had been sleeping for days, and yet it wasn't enough.

"You're awake," a rumbling male voice said. Something about that voice pulled at my will and I made my eyes open despite the burning tiredness that fought against me. The lean line of a naked torso greeted my sight, and my mind seemed to skip forward a few steps with recognition.

"I am," I murmured as I extended a hand out to brush my fingers down his back until I was stopped by the line of his pants. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with the sheets pulled down, but I couldn't tell what he had been doing. "Were you coming or going?"

Those azure eyes of his watched me for a long moment before he turned, showing me the rest of his body in an attractive display of flexing muscles and contoured features. Unable and unwilling to let him leave after such a display, I hooked my fingers into the band of his pants and gently tugged. One shapely brow rose as if my action had been unexpected, but he did as I had silently demanded and turned the rest of the way around to face me. On hands and knees he crawled to me until he was looming over me.

"I was going to bed," he answered sotto voce. "You've been in and out for days, but I didn't think I'd wake you with how tired you feel through the bond."

I made no effort to hide my gaze as it trailed down his body. His chest was taught with flexed muscles followed by a rippled abdomen that was far more defined now that he was cast in soft shadows. I couldn't remember if he had always been this lean, but I sure did like what I was seeing.

"Days?" I asked lazily as I shifted, rolling over so I could easily look up at him. He moved as I did, placing his hand behind me so I couldn't completely roll onto my back, but was instead propped against his arm. The gesture seemed odd, but I was too distracted by his features to say anything and let my weight rest against him.

"Yeah. How are you feeling?"

I heard his question, but I really didn't feel like talking when I craved his touch. Feeling his arm against my shoulder was delightful, but I wanted more.

"Did you lay with me every night?" I asked in a slow voice as my gaze wandered up the curve of his neck and over his mask. Those teeth of his were… yum. I wanted to sit up and feel the sharpness of them under my touch.

"You haven't shown me how to share my power with you through the bond. Touching you at least allows me to do something for the pain that I caused you."

I didn't understand what he was speaking of, but it mattered little as I slowly flexed my body and drew an arm beneath me to prop myself up with. It put my mouth only a inch away from his, allowing me to breathe in more of his intoxicating, earthy scent. Gods, I loved his scent. It was so exotic and enthralling and that I couldn't seem to think through the sensations of him. No, I didn't want to think. I just wanted to feel.

"Then let me show you," I teased as I rose just a bit higher to skim my lips over his. He seemed surprised by my advance, but I didn't let it bother me as I used my other hand to reach up and slide my fingers into his hair. A soft growl that almost sounded like a purr reverberated from his throat, and I took that as all the acceptance I needed and pressed my lips firmly to his. For a moment he was unmoved by my advances, but just as I knew he would, he grew soft to my touch and met my kiss with a passion that almost surprised me.

I moaned into his mouth as he teased my lips with his own. He tasted stronger than he smelt, like tasting herbs and earth on his tongue. He didn't hold back like I felt he would at first, instead he met my passion with a force that was equally as needy as my own desires as his lips and tongue begged entrance. I gave him what he wanted and opened my mouth as my hand in his hair gently pulled him down and I laid back, guiding him to follow as my mouth fed on his. Despite my efforts to get him to give into my clear desires, he resisted me just as I returned to the position I had started in, causing our lips to part.

"Is this supposed to be some sort of bonding shit?" he asked in a husky voice as his gaze wandered over my exposed upper body. If his wandering gaze said anything about his desires, I knew he wanted me even as he was holding back. It was clear that I wanted him the same way with my breasts peaked in anticipation and my chest rising and falling quickly with excited breaths.

"No," I cooed with a sultry laugh. My hand slid down from his hair to cover the back of his neck and I put more effort into pulling him down to me. He held himself up, but I wanted to be sure there was no question now as to what I wanted. "This is a lesson in sharing power."

Taking hold of the bond I flinched as I was greeted with a sharp pain, but quickly recovered as I found the other half in my mind and caressed it like I had done a thousand times, teasing him with my own desire. A feral growl that was louder than the one he had emitted earlier ran through him and his body strained with the effort he was exerting to keep himself where he was. He had been holding himself back, keeping most of his body away from my own like he had been trying to give me some sort of space.

I didn't want his restraint. I wanted to be devoured by him.

"Now give it back," I crooned as my grip on the back of his neck strengthened.

He shifted closer to me just like I wanted, and I parted my legs so his knee could rest on the mattress between them. The sheets that covered me were between us, but just like the clothes he still wore, they could easily be removed later. His arm never moved from behind me, but despite that he lowered himself and brought his mouth to mine only to stop just short of actually claiming my mouth.

The bond tingled deliciously inside me, and I arched my back as a pleased sigh escaped my mouth. Something in my back sharply protested the movement, but I pushed the pain to the back of my mind in favor of the sensation coursing through me.

He was a fast learner. I liked fast learners. Mmm.

"My turn," I sighed. With the bond still firmly in mind, I pushed a bit of my power down it and into him. I felt his resistance like he didn't want me to share with him, but with his mouth hovering just over mine I had no trouble capturing his lips and melting away his will to stop me. He may have been the master here, but it had been ages since he was able to say no to me when we were like this. Even as I pushed power down the bond, I didn't care that I felt myself growing substantially weaker. If I could coax him to touch me more, it was worth it.

The sharp teeth of his mask cut into my cheek as the kiss quickly turned into something hot and needy. His leg pressed higher between mine, pressing against my most tender parts in a way that made my body shudder. My free hand found his chest, and I used it to caress a trail down his waist. I wanted to feel the weight of him pressing me down, but despite my hand sliding around his waist and my nails digging into the hard muscles on his back, he stay on his hand and knees.

Fine, if he was going to be stubborn then I could be even more enticing.

I shifted my leg up, pulling with it the sheets that covered the bed. My heel covered his calf, and with it I forced his leg to press harder into me. The friction made me moan and flex my hips harder into him.

"Isa," he growled as his mouth left mine and he kissed a small trail down my chin and along my jaw. He found the small cut his mask had made on my cheek and kissed it before his tongue darted out and he ran a trail across my cheek, licking away the blood that had slid down my skin. He groaned and found my mouth once more, allowing me to taste my own blood on his tongue. A rush of his power crashed over me as his teeth closed on my bottom lip and I gasped his name as my hand convulsed on his neck.

Gods, there was that fire I had been trying ignite in him.

I felt his weight transfer to the arm that was still firmly planted at my back, allowing his other hand to slide under my head and into my hair. He pulled away from my lips, his own breathing quick with the intensity of the moment. His fingers gripped my hair, keeping my head against his hand so I couldn't freely follow him up. I groaned in protest and blinked open my eyes so I could meet his azure gaze with my own golden one.

"What's my name?" He asked as his nose brushed mine.

I pretended like he had never asked a question and tilted my head just enough so I could find his mouth. It was the only freedom of movement that his grip on my hair allowed. Our kiss only lasted a moment before he pulled further back, leaving me wanting beneath him.

"What's my name?" He asked again. His brilliant azure eyes were looking down at me with pity, but I didn't understand why. Was he intentionally denying me?

"Why are you asking?" I countered as a sense of unease filled me and I realized that something was wrong.

He must have felt my thoughts shift because as soon as I started to pull away from the bond, some foreign emotion pushed into me. Not knowing and not understanding what it was, I clamped down on my end of the bond and shoved him back in one forceful thought. He physically flinched when my mental door slammed into place, and despite the slight bit of guilt that I felt toward my actions I didn't apologize. I held the door closed like my back was against it and I was using all the strength on my body to keep it shut, but for some inexplicable reason I was struggling to keep him out. Our bond was wed so tightly that neither of us could overpower the other, so why was this so difficult?

No… Our bond wasn't wed. I had broken mine to keep us from being wedded because he wasn't the God Maker.

With that realization, the door I had shut flew open and I was washed in the force of his will.

"Just say it, Isa," he murmured softly despite the pain my resistance had most likely caused him. "I want to hear you say it. I need to know that you understand who I am."

His words were a combination of an order and a plea that coupled with his will through the bond, I couldn't refuse. I closed my eyes as I tried to sort my thoughts. I felt like I had been dreaming again, but I couldn't tell what had really happened and what hadn't. Had we only been like this for several moments, or had we been together longer? Had I done more than just attempt to seduce him, or was this it? Gods, this was so pathetically embarrassing.

"Grimmjow," I finally whispered. I felt some sort of tension ease out of his body, and his hand that was still in my hair relaxed until he was just cradling the back my head in his palm. His weight rested on me just a bit more, and I nudged his arm that was propping me up to ask him to move it. He moved, allowing me to lay flat. My back ached with the pressure of the mattress, but it was nothing compared to what the pain had been the last time I was awake.

"I've been trying to get you back for days," he murmured as his left brow pressed to my right and his cheek brushed mine. Like this, I could hear his easy breathing in my ear and feel his breath as it tickled my hair. I may have fallen asleep pressed against him, but in this moment he felt closer to me than he had ever been before.

"I've been here, healing, right?" I asked, my voice not much more than a breathy whisper.

"You've been lost," he murmured. "I thought you might be back this time, but I was wrong."

"I… I don't remember." I grit my teeth together and let out a frustrated breath. "I remember the last few minutes, but I don't remember anything after I fell asleep beside you."

"That was days ago." Grimmjow shifted, straightening his arm so he could pull away. My hands fell away from his neck and waist and I self consciously I covered myself, mostly to hide the evidence of the lingering desires that were still coursing through my body. He stayed where he was, looming over me so his face was shadowed as he stared down at me. His thumb gently moved at the back of my head like he was intending to sooth away my obvious turmoil. I appreciated his attempted show of kindness, but I couldn't hold his gaze for more than a moment before I turned my head to look away.

I felt so pathetic under his scrutiny. Had I really been lost for so long? I didn't want to think that I had been, but with every passing second I became more certain that he was telling the truth. Gods, why was I so messed up? I knew the answer, but it just didn't seem fair. Then again, nothing ever was fair.

"I need to move," I said as I started to roll away from him only to be stopped my his leg that was still between mine and his arms that were still on either side of me. For a moment I didn't know what to do or how to get away from him, so I laid there as I fought to think of what to do. The sudden dread of feeling trapped pulsed through me and the need to get away from him grew within me.

Just as my entire body tensed in preparation to shove him off me, he moved. I didn't say anything as I slid to the side and untangled myself from the sheets. It hurt to move, but it wasn't the stabbing pain like it had been. Rather it was an ache like a badly pulled muscle that complained as I threw my legs over the edge of the bed. I found my feet only for a wave of dizziness from the sudden movement to make me stumble. I swore softly to myself as I grasped the foot of the bed to keep myself up right. I had been laying down for days. I should have thought about how my body would react to such sudden movement, but I wasn't exactly in my right mind.

"Isa-"

"Don't," I snapped at Grimmjow. I heard the wood under my hand protest as my grip became too much for the furniture, and I quickly released it. "I don't do this touchy feely shit. It's not me. I'd pick hiding in a hole so I could lick my wounds over allowing someone else to do it for me any day. That you wouldn't realize that wasn't me is a damned insult. "

"You say that, and yet you're the one that asked me to stay."

His reasoning was sound, but as I glanced back at him I was already trying to forget his words. I had asked him to stay. I could admit that much to myself, but everything else… Gods, what had I been trying to do?

"Why did you?" I asked, my words coming out sharper than I had intended for them to be.

"Stay?" He asked. When I nodded, he continued. "Because you asked."

"But why? Just because I asked doesn't mean you had to. So far, I have proven myself to be more effort than I'm worth, so why are you even bothering with me? Accommodating me? I don't understand your motivations, nor do I understand why you even continue to want me. I mean, Jesus, you've been taking care of me for days and I haven't done shit to earn it. I warned you that I was nothing good, and so far all I have done is proven my own words to be true."

I let out a frustrated sigh and stalked away from him and his stupid bed without hearing what he had to say. I stopped after a few steps as my gaze searched the room for somewhere I could go to get away from him for a minute. I just needed some damn air that wasn't saturated with his alluring earthy scent. Spotting something I hadn't seen before, I turned and started toward a gap in the vines.

The soft light of the moon was filtering in from a set of closed doors that were partially covered by the vines. As I approached, I could see a balcony of some sort that protruded off the side of the tower. This must have been on the opposite side of the tower from where I typically approached, because I didn't remember seeing this before. I reached out to the door knob to find it easy to turn and pushed it open.

Stepping through the door I passed into the cold night air. I pushed the door closed behind me but didn't actually bother to make sure it had latched as I walked out. A small breeze gusted by, dragging my hair from my back and taking it over my shoulders. The chill didn't deter me even as goose flesh raised across my body and I walked across the balcony that must have stood ten feet out from the tower. Resting my hands on the railing I let it take my weight as I sagged over it with my exhaustion. Moving as much as I had should have been nothing, but my body was tired from traveling the short distance like instead of walking thirty feet, I had ran miles.

The view was of the land outside Los Noches, showcasing the many destroyed outposts we had once built along its surface to act as watch towers for our soldiers. Standing out here I felt almost normal. I had stood out in the chilled night air like this thousands of times before now. I could have been standing atop my rock, perched atop the crystal palace I had once reigned over, or even just standing in the sand as I gazed up at the moon.

The only difference was that I could actually feel the wind. It was more than just a biting cold now, but somehow it was gnawing at my chest and making it tight with another stupid emotion that I really didn't want to feel right now.

Gods, this was stupid.

I was broken both physically and mentally and I couldn't do anything to fix them besides wait. Being this pathetic wasn't supposed to be possible. Not for me. I was supposed to be a god, damn it. Gods didn't get beaten down like this. We were warriors, a perfect example of our kind. Now, I only looked like the god I was. Golden, beautiful, but underneath the womanly facade I was broken.

I felt Grimmjow as he came out onto the balcony. I hadn't heard him, so I ignored his presence and continued to bask in the moon's glow. The chill of the night air had doused my passion just as much as it had tightened my chest, but still I could feel the draw of his power through the bond. I knew it was just the elastic pull of the new bond, but it still made me want to go to him. It would take weeks for the shiny and new feeling to completely go away. If it wasn't so new, then maybe I wouldn't be so tempted to slip back into my old self? It was either that, or I needed to fix my bond with him, or he needed to break his so I could remove mine correctly, then remake his, or… I let my head fall back and closed my eyes. Whatever it was, I hoped I would figure it out soon. But until then, I just had to keep myself from getting lost and doing something stupid.

Again.

… Damn it.

"Sorry," I said softly, speaking toward the sky even as my words were intended for Grimmjow. "I think I would have stayed that way for some time if you hadn't pulled me back. It's one thing to be stuck in a memory, but another to be acting upon a new event as if I am Isabellia. I didn't realize I was so broken."

"Raacharg said as much," he commented.

"If I've really been out of it for days, I'm sure he's had plenty of time to explain some things in my stead. Did he tell you what I was like when he found me?" I asked.

"He describes you as lost, but hasn't said much more," Grimmjow answered.

"What you've seen over the last few days was just a ghost. My mind is broken, fractured between the past and the present, but back then there was nothing to be broken. I was nothing more than pieces in a discarded pile. I relived my memories like they were still real until I bound Raacharg to me. Without him, I'd go back to the mess I was. Remember those stitches I talked about before? The ones that hold me together? Just think of Raacharg as the thread. He is what allows me to reassemble myself."

Something soft smacked into the back of my head, making me startle as whatever it was slowly slid down the side of my head and pulled on my ear. I released the railing and pulled it off to find an oversized shirt in my hands. I blinked down at it for a moment before I found the collar and held it up.

"And I thought I was the only one who took clothes from the World of the Living," I mumbled to myself as my eyes ran over the black v-neck t-shirt I held that must have been several sizes too big for me.

"I interact with the living too much to not have some of their clothing here," Grimmjow answered my grumbling words as he came up beside me. "Put it on."

I gave him a sideways glance, and he sighed.

"You're distracting like that. You may be comfortable walking around without any clothes on, but I'm not used to it."

"I've been naked in a bed with you for days and you're not used to me walking around nude?"

"Feeling your body is different than seeing it."

I lifted a curious brow at him before I turned my gaze back to the shirt and gave it one hard stare before I did as he wanted and slipped it on over my head. It fit me like a potato sack, hanging off my shoulders all the way down to my upper thigh. It was one of his shirts by the smell of it, but I wasn't sure if it was because of its size. He wasn't that big of a guy, so I spared a moment to wonder why he had a shirt this big.

"Did I try to do that to you every time I woke?" I asked as I kept my hands busy with straightening the shirt.

"No," he said to my relief. "I think you were still in pain the other times you woke. You were more you, this time."

"Jupiter's balls, you thought that was more me?" I asked indignantly. "I damn well don't remember jumping your bones before now. How the hell did that seem more like me?"

"You kissed me the same way you did when you bound me to you."

He was a man, so of course that would be his logic. Did he not realize that I had just been trying to get him to let me in? I mean, I had enjoyed it too, but that didn't mean that I had been trying to get him to screw my brains out. I had been trying to get him to let me bind him! What I had been trying to do only moments ago was so far from the same thing that it wasn't even comparable.

I let out a sigh and scrubbed my hand across my face. I was struggling to stay alert with how tired I still was, and I was pretty sure it was making me say and think stupid.

Did I bother explaining the difference, or did I just let him go on thinking I wanted to do more than just sleep beside him? Not that I wanted to sleep with him, er, beside him, whatever. I did like it, but in a totally business like way. He was my master. That was it. Letting him shelter me in a moment of weakness was natural. The only thing I couldn't seem to get over was how new of a master he was. He clearly didn't understand the reasoning behind what I did.

"Why didn't you use your Negative Space?" he asked, thankfully changing topics.

"Because my Negative Space would have gotten us both killed," I said with a little more enthusiasm than intended.

"How so? It would have stopped my gran rey cero, right? It would have kept me from hurting you like this." I felt pressure against my back as his hand moved the fabric of the shirt and he lightly trailed his fingers down my spine. His touch didn't exactly hurt so much as it made me aware of how tender the spot was despite the fabric between his hand and my skin.

"My Negative Space makes all who are inside its boundaries no more than Human. Well, for us it's Human, but for that messenger it would have been no more than a dragon."

I smiled as a memory came to mind and was glad that Grimmjow couldn't see more than my profile as I looked out across the moonlit sand. "I learned that the hard way when I tried to use it against a Menos for practice. The damn thing was still a Menos, and it nearly squashed me under its foot before I called my Negative Space back."

"It wouldn't revert back into Hollows?"

I shrugged. "It might have, but at the time I had only made a space big enough to take up part of its body. But still, if it had broken apart, the Hollows still might have been bigger and stronger than my small Human body, and in far greater numbers. Because of this, my resurreccion really is only useful against opponents who are roughly Human in size."

"So, against Arrancar," he said to clarify.

"Yes. Against Arrancar, Soul Reapers if I can get them before they release their zanpakuto, or other gifted members of the living. My resurreccion's power lies in the surprise, and the inability of my opponents to be able to fight without their spirit energy to aid them. It's how I beat you, and all those before you."

"Except Aizen," he corrected me.

"And the Soul King," I added, trying to make my loss to Aizen sound less pathetic. I let my gaze drop to my hand as I flexed it into a fist. My grip was weak, but I didn't know if it was just due to my exhaustion or if it was from being a lump for the last week. I normally didn't lose muscle so quickly, but I never needed to heal like this without someone to support me. Either I needed to go hunting for myself, or I needed to turn to Grimmjow.

Well, that was an easy answer.

"I'm assuming you didn't leave my zanpakuto in the World of the Living, right?" I asked as I turned and glanced back at the doors leading inside.

"It's here," he said, making me sigh a little bit in relief.

"Good," I murmured. I started to turn to walk inside, but Grimmjow moved with me, his arm sliding around my waist to stop me.

"You don't need your zanpakuto right now, so why are you asking for it?"

I had avoided meeting his gaze since he came out here. It had been easy to do while facing away from him, but as he corralled me closer to him it was like I was compelled to. Thankfully, he was just enough taller than me that I could keep my eyes on his neck so long as I didn't tilt my head back.

"I need to restore the energy that healing my mask has used," I explained as my hand found his at my lower back. I pushed at his hand to get him to release me, but his grip didn't budge.

"And you intend to do that how?" he asked.

"Hunting," I answered.

He let out a huff of a laugh. "And what do you plan on hunting in such a state?"

"I don't really care, I just need energy to heal."

"You just need to go back to sleep," he said as he pulled me just a bit closer. I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to do about his grip around me. My first instinct was to let him keep doing what he was doing, but even so my hand found his chest to keep him from drawing me completely into him.

"Sleep, yes, but I need energy to heal while I sleep or it will take far longer for me to finish healing my mask than it needs to." I ran my fingers over the beads of bone that lined my hair line. "My mantel is the only other part of my mask that I've broken. I thought I had died, but I was only unconscious as I healed. I was young for an Arrancar, maybe a few months into godhood, when it happened. The God Maker fueled me with his power as I healed since I was incapable of doing it myself. It's the same concept as what I did for Raacharg when he had been injured, though he requires far less energy than an Arrancar to maintain. I need to hunt if I'm going to heal."

"Was what you were trying to show me earlier really how you share power?"

My brain drew a blank for a moment before I registered his words and had to scramble for words as my thoughts reeled. "I, uh, showed you one way. It's not exactly the right way, even if it's the same concept. That was more… foreplay, than sharing power."

"Foreplay?" I watched his mouth as it pulled up into a sly grin. That was so not the reaction I had been going for.

"I thought you were the God Maker," I huriedly reminded him. That grin of his fell a bit, but didn't go away entirely, so I continued. "Your spiritual pressure feels like what I remember of him. My memories of his features are gone, but the feel of him, the feel of the bond, it's what makes me think you're him."

"I know."

"You know? What?" I almost looked up at him then, but managed to keep my eyes down. How the hell did he know? I knew he was smarter than me, but to know my inner thoughts?

"Your old self likes to talk even more than you feel like you need to explain things," he said.

My face paled with his words and I finally tilted my head back so I could meet his eyes. His gaze was relaxed, but in his eyes it felt like I could see everything he knew. Everything he knew that I didn't know he knew. Fucking gopher tits, just what had I told him? How many days, how many hours had I thought he was Aether? How many stories had I told? It could have been anything from before Aizen. Had I told him about Ganten? My previous masters? Or had it all been about the God Maker? Or… Oh fuck me.

"I showed you memories, didn't I?"

"A few."

Yep. I fucking did. Good job Isa. Good fucking job.

"Gods," I breathed out as I covered my face with my palm. "What did I show you?"

"Let's just say that I know enough to understand what you really lost when Aether died."

Mortified. There really was no other word for how I felt.

"I showed you how he died?"

Was it just me, or was my voice a bit squeaky?

"No, but you were trying very hard to get me to remember things you thought I should know, like this," he crooned as his hand that wasn't wrapped around me found my neck. His fingers traced over my collar bone, following the hard line to my shoulder and back up my muscle to my neck. I started to turn away to stop him, but as his fingers brushed the edge of my spine I stopped. He gently covered my spine with his hand like I had let him do only a few times before, and I couldn't help but to relax as the heat of his hand seeped into my skin. "I just thought your spine was sensitive, but you showed me what it means for you to allow me to touch you like this."

The heat of his hand on my neck made my head want to loll, so I gave in and let my forehead rest on his shoulder. It shouldn't have been so easy for him to get me to relax, but I couldn't seem to help myself. "My spine is an area of weakness for me, especially over my neck because it is so thin. To allow you to-"

"I know," he interrupted me. "You don't have to explain, Isa."

"But I do," I insisted.

"No, you don't." His hand that had been resting on my lower back moved and his arm encircled me. I didn't even try to fight back as he pulled me so close that his previous motion to stop me turned into an embrace that I didn't have the will to stop.

"You're cheating," I mumbled as my hand fell from between us and I allowed him to pull me completely against his chest. "I hate cheaters."

"You're the one who showed me. How is that cheating?" He mused.

"Isabellia showed you, not me. You haven't earned the right to do this to me," I lamely protested as I turned my face into his neck. The wind was blowing just enough to keep the air between us cold where we weren't actually touching. Inhaling his scent in the cold night air made him seem oddly fresh and earthy instead of the humid earthy smell I was used to. It was an odd mix, but still my senses responded to it and begged for more.

I may have spent the last few days with him, but it hadn't been me. To me, this was new. He had held me before, but even then it had felt stiff compared to this moment. This felt tender, like he was actually caring for me. This was what I had a thousand years ago. Even knowing that he was only doing this because I had shown him some shit he wasn't supposed to know, I liked it. I had missed this. It had been so long-

'You've been gone so long. Where were you?'

I startled and stepped back as my own voice rang through my head. I pushed away from Grimmjow, but he didn't let me go. His arm pulled me back the few inches I had put between us with my startled actions and he held me against him despite my attempts to push away. I tried to protest, but his mouth covered mine, smothering the words I was trying to say. His power pushed down the bond only a moment after he claimed my mouth, squashing my will to resist him and replacing it with the need I had felt earlier.

My knees went weak with the pleasure of the bond that was coursing through me. It was like I struggled to lock my knees back to keep me from falling, but he must have felt it because he pulled me tighter against him. His grip around me shifted and he lifted me, sliding me up until my butt was resting on top of the railing. Sitting on top of the railing put my head at the same height as his, allowing him easier control over my mouth.

Fingertips brushed the tip of my ear, caressing the bone of my mask in a way he had never done before. I shifted on the railing as I squirmed against him, and he gently nudged my legs apart. Absorbed in the moment, I didn't stop him from pressing between my legs. I even helped him pull closer as my feet hooked behind his legs and eased him against me.

I sucked in a small gasp and pulled back from him just enough so that I could focus on him. In his eyes I saw something that I didn't want to understand. I didn't want to see the damn pity in his eyes, but even so my hand found his mask and I traced the lines of the white bone of his jaw. He started to close the distance between us again, but I covered his mouth with my hand.

"I think you're forgetting something," I said in a voice that was just above a breathy whisper.

"Am I?" He asked, his lips moving against my skin.

"You wanted me for my power, but what you're doing right now goes against that. You're sharing your power with me will weaken you, and that's not what I am here to do."

"Is that your way of telling me that you aren't enjoying this? I didn't hear you say no." His fingers tightened on my ear in a way that I hadn't felt in a thousand years, and it made a shiver run down my entire body. Gods, I had taught him some very bad things about myself.

"No," I managed to get out. "You wanted me to fight for you. You and your stupid games of strategy wanted me to be your jester. You didn't want me to be your concubine."

"You're right, I didn't," he agreed. Despite his words he continued to stroke my ear as if he were trying to stoke the fire he had started within me by sharing his power. "If you recall, the only reason I said jester was because I didn't think you would accept being my queen."

"I am not a queen, not anymore," I said, shaking my head. "You are not Aether and Amechania is nothing but a zanpakuto now. Don't get confused by whatever I said or showed you when I was lost. If you really want me to be your queen, you'll need to earn it from me, Isa. Isabellia… She'll do whatever Aether wants. Whatever you want. You're my master. I will follow your orders and do as you believe to be right, but I don't trust people anymore. I only surrender to you because I have no other choice."

"You're trying to hide from yourself," he accused as he released my ear only to find my hand that was over his mouth.

"I am not hiding. I am making a point," I huffed.

"I felt you slipping away."

"I wasn't going anywhere," I protested.

"Only because I wasn't going to let you." He gently tugged on my hand and I let him pull it away. "You're mine. Your power, your knowledge and your problems are all mine. Quit fighting me when I am trying to help you."

"You said you were a predator. Caring for someone is something you aren't capable of, so why are you so willing to do it now?"

His head tilted slightly to the side as he scrutinized me. I watched as his gaze trailed over my face like he was staring at something new for just a moment. He seemed surprised at my words, but I didn't know why. I had just asked him a question.

"You aren't prey to me. I didn't lie about that. You're-" he stopped himself mid sentence as his eyes seemed to lose focus. "Loly and Raacharg are coming."

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"We can talk more later," he said as his attention went elsewhere and he slowly pulled away from me. I had the stupidest urge to pull him back to me, but I kept myself from reaching out to him and pulled my legs together as his body left mine to shiver in the cold.

"I thought you said this was the only private place in the tower because of that trick door," I mumbled as I turned on the railing and placed my feet on it. The railing was at least a foot wide, so it was easy to balance on it as I leaned back on my hands and turned my head so I could let my gaze meander across the sand dunes below.

"Your Adjuchas can be very persuasive," Grimmjow said in an equally grumbly voice. "He wouldn't allow me to leave you alone due to your state of mind, but I couldn't stay here indefinitely. I had to grant him access to my tower so he could stay with you when I could not."

I couldn't help it. I smiled. That sounded just like Raacharg.