Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Negative Space ❯ All Consuming Darkness ( Chapter 20 )

I felt him die. I was so heavily invested in the bond that I felt the loss through my entire being like someone had cleaved a limb from my body. Damn it. Had I underestimated this Soul Reaper? He was a captain, it was clear by the white overcoat that he wore over his uniform, but that shouldn't have been a problem. A Vasto Lordes should have been strong enough to take on a captain, but an Arrancar? Quetz should have easily demolished him. Had I poorly matched them in combat?

No, his strengths should have been more than apt for this Soul Reaper. This Soul Reaper was just something… different.

"Have I earned your attentions yet?" He said to me, his voice smooth like silk and calm like a sleeping sea.

"Amanta, let me have him," Gorgine said as she stepped up beside me. "I can kill him."

I glanced over at her, taking in the sight of her soft brown curls and pouty pink lips. She was hot tempered and over eager to engage. She had been Quetz's sibling in a way, and I knew his death would cloud her judgement. It wouldn't just be her though, it was all of them. I had built my Fracciones to be a team rather than individual contributors. I had built them to work together, but I hadn't spent as much time preparing them for the death of one of their own. They were still a new team, but it wasn't like I could have put off this battle. He'd been hunting down the Espada one by one, so it was just a matter of time before he came for me.

"No," I said as I held my hand out to stop her from moving ahead of me.

"But Amanta-"

I turned my golden gaze on her and she cut herself off. I was their Amanta, or their Mistress in the old tongue. I couldn't seem to break her or my other Fracciones of the bad habit of using my old title, but aside from that they knew when not to push my limits. I only let them get away with calling me Amanta because it made a piece of me happy to know someone regarded me in such high esteem as I once was. I never should have shared so much of my past with them, but they had earned the glimpse in my past after what they had been through.

"You are not ready for such an opponent as this," I said calmly.

"But Amanta, you shouldn't have to sully your hands with such a task," Daria protested from my other side. She was still a Vasto Lordes, though she was only months away from finding the strength to remove her mask. It was just a matter of time, but I wasn't so sure that she would reach that point. Not with the man before us hunting like he was.

"I will not waste your lives needlessly."

I stepped forward, moving across the distance between me and Quetz's body. I kept my attention focused on the Soul Reaper even as I stopped at the corpse of the man who had been my Fracciones. Pale blue, lifeless eyes stared beyond my face and up at the star filled sky. The only thing that was keeping his body on this plane was my bond with him, or he would have transitioned into the flow of souls already.

I hated Soul Reapers.

"You've taken the life of one of my people," I said to the Soul Reaper.

"Yes, I did." That voice of his was calm to the point of being smug.

"As an Espada, I cannot let this offense go unpunished," I said in an equally calm voice as I pushed the white lace of my cloak aside. Teal crystal beads made from the bedrock that Olympus had once stood upon were woven in ornate patterns across the fabric and they twinkled in the moonlight as I pulled my zanpakuto from the sheath at my hip.

"If I had known that all I needed to do was kill one of your people, I would have done it sooner." With his words, a soft and almost kind smile lit up his face. Fucking Soul Reaper...

That smile of his was going to get him killed.

"Pacify, Amechania," I called out as my zanpakuto extended and I slammed the blade into the ground.

As the memory played, I knew Grimmjow was stuck watching the scene unfold as if he were experiencing it through my eyes. I couldn't read his emotions like he could read mine, but I just knew he hadn't seen this part of my past before. Isabellia wouldn't have showed him when we had been defeated. She would have tried to make him remember being the God Maker as I remembered him, rather than showing him our moments of failure. That's just who I used to be, a being full of hubris and pride.

Not to say that I wasn't that way still, but I could admit my weaknesses when I had to. I mean, I was showing him this moment. It may have only been to prove a point, but he needed to understand what these fucked up numbers meant to me. He needed to understand why I hated the fakes, why the number that was branded on my shoulder disgusted me. How could he ever understand as he was? It was a sign of power for him, but a sign of defeat for me.

My body slammed into wall of the underground chamber we were in, knocking the breath from my lungs and making my head go fuzzy when it cracked against the stone. I fell bonelessly to the ground, my zanpakuto clattering away from me as my grip faltered. I slowly pulled myself to my hands and knees, shaking my head like I just had water in my ears rather than a head wound. I was running low on energy, but as things were I couldn't draw power from my people. I had to resort to my Negative Space, but I couldn't maintain it. Somehow he was whittling me away, surviving what should have been death blows and retaliating when my zanpakuto was buried deep within his body. I had to pull my Negative Space back to heal, only to release it again once I was able to fight. He was too strong for me to take him on without it.

"You've got so much fight in you. I honestly didn't think you'd be this much of a challenge," the Soul Reaper mused as he brushed at his sleeve. It wasn't a clean sleeve, not any more. Blood ran down his front, turning his once white overcoat a nice crimson color. Several other colored ribbons of red ran through all that white fabric from the other places I had struck him. He should have been dead five times over. My zanpakuto had sunk almost to the pole in his chest during my last blow. Soul Reapers couldn't live without their heart. He should have been dead!

I opened my palm and reached out to my zanpakuto, having to shift to stretch for it. As soon as my hand covered the hilt I turned it, smacking the butt on the ground to make the metal ring. "Invigorate."

Power flooded me just as quickly as it had left, but it wasn't as much as it had been last time or the time before. This was the fourth or fifth time I had called my Negative Space back to me so I could heal. I maybe had one more time in me, but it would be useless if I couldn't figure out how to kill him. I had struck him enough to kill any other opponent several times over, but he just wouldn't die.

"How is it that I can deliver one blow after the next and you keep moving like I've done nothing to you?" I asked in a snarl as I healed the damage he had done to me and moved to get to my feet. Blood had colored my armor in streaks of crimson, tainting my white and gold appearance like stains of death.

"Haven't figured it out yet?" he mused as he moved toward me. I started to set myself into a defensive stance, but I was slow with my movements. Too slow, apparently. He was instantly in my face like he hadn't even moved, but was just there. I lurched back, not even feeling the pain of his blade as it pierced through my girdle until he turned the blade, grinding it into the stone at my back.

I reacted too late, I was already pinned to the wall behind me, but I gripped the blade of his zanpakuto in my hand anyway and tried to push him back and away from me. It did no good, and he made sure to make his dominance clear as he leaned closer to me. During our second bought, I had broken those stupid glasses of his when the butt of my zanpakuto had connected with his face. Somehow they were back on his face and his hair looked like he hadn't been fighting. Not even a little. The blood that had stained his white overcoat was gone too. Magically gone. What the fuck?

My eyes widened, but I couldn't think of the words I wanted to say. I finally managed to come up with one word as blood welled in my mouth and spilled past my lips. "How?"

My question apparently pleased him, because he smiled and shifted to the side, allowing me to see the underground chamber we had been fighting in.

"Kyoka Tsuigetsu's power is complete hypnosis. I can make you see, feel, or even sense whatever I want you to, " he explained. I felt him flex his spiritual pressure, and like a fog had lifted from my mind, I suddenly saw the bodies in the room. The bodies of my children. Some of them were mere lumps on the floor with smeared pools of blood surrounding them, while Daria's inhuman form appeared to be missing bits. I had been fighting on top of them and hadn't even noticed as their bodies dropped. Fuck.

"It's a lie. My Negative Space negates all power of those within its boundaries. You were in my darkness. You couldn't have manipulated me in such a way." I was trying to reason everything out, but I wasn't smart like that.

"I had you the moment I used my shikai on your first subordinate," he mused. "You've been under my influence for our entire fight. You didn't even realize you were killing your subordinates, did you?"

My mouth opened to protest, but nothing came out. My mind ran to the bond and I searched for them in my disbelief, but there was nothing other than the phantom pain of their loss lingering in my mind.

Gods… what had I done?

"I can kill you now, Isabellia Vaccio, but I'd rather not do that."

It took me several long moments to respond to him as I worked to process the loss of so many of my people at once. I hadn't experienced such massive loss since the war games, but then they were killed one by one. I had felt them die, but I had been ready for the sensations. This was just like having a warm body pressed to mine, only to roll over and fall off the bed onto the cold floor.

"What would you rather do?" I asked, my voice coming out slow.

"I want you to serve me."

My gaze snapped to him, my senses suddenly screaming a warning. "You're a Soul Reaper."

"You serve me, or you die. You choose, Isabellia."

That had been the ultimatum. Serve a Soul Reaper who had tricked me into killing my own children, or die at his hands. Like that was even a choice.

"What would you have of me, Soul Reaper?"

I wasn't going to give into this fruit tart. If he wanted me alive, he was just asking for me to figure out how to kill him. He'd made me kill my Fracciones with his voodoo shit. I'd 'serve' him until I killed him.

"It's Lord Aizen, and I want two things from you. I want you to serve me like your Fracciones served you, and I want your darkness for myself."

Mother fucker…

I had been the seventh Espada that Aizen had tracked down. He had wasted no time branding me with the number 10 on the back of my shoulder and escorting me back to the others he'd defeated. I didn't know it at the time, but I was the only one he had wanted a piece of power from. He'd explained his logic behind the number, that I was weakest in my suppressed form but strongest in my true form. I didn't know it at the time, but the number did change to a 0 when I released my true form. Whatever. He just wanted something from me.

A stray thought reminded me that Grimmjow was watching, and I guided my memories away from the next several years. I didn't want him to see how I had made the Caja Negacion. That was a piece of my life that I didn't want to repeat, and giving him ideas just didn't seem like the smartest thing to do right now. Instead, I let him glimpse the construction of Los Noches and some of the events that had unfolded during that time until Aizen finally decided to bring his happy ass back to Hueco Mundo.

"Welcome back to Hueco Mundo, Lord Aizen," I said respectfully as I took to one knee before my long absent master. He had been gone for several years, but we had always known he would be returning one day. When we had felt the call and the Menos Grande react, I had known that he would want to see me first. I hadn't expected him to bring friends though. I subtly eyed the two Soul Reapers who stood behind him, recognizing the white cloaks they wore over their uniforms as items similar to Aizen's, distinguishing them as Captains.

"Isabellia," he said in that smooth but relaxed tone that had always made my hair stand on end. "I take it you have seen to Las Noche's construction while I was away."

"Of course, sire," I answered as I stood and turned, giving them my back as I faced the white walls of Aizen's new domain. "Construction was finished a few months ago. We've furnished the living quarters as you specified, and developed the interior in a way that will better reflect the temperate climate that you will be more accustomed to with having come from the Soul Society."

"Is that all?" he asked in that stupidly calm tone. I didn't let my irritation show as I shook my head, but thankfully I didn't have to answer him as my comrade stepped forward.

"No, sire," Gantenbainne answered with ease. "We tended to all of your other requests as well. We wanted to emphasize what you had made clear to be more of a priority over the others."

"Ah, thank you for that." The way Lord Aizen always spoke like he was better than someone drove me nuts, but I didn't have any room to complain. He had defeated me, utterly and completely. Serving him because of that was my purpose in life until those short-lived militants up in the Soul Society either defeated him or he moved on and left us in Hueco Mundo alone. Or until I killed him myself.

"Would you like us to tour you through the compound?" I offered as I turned back to them. I wasn't exactly uncomfortable giving them my back, but I could feel the itch of their gazes on me.

"No," Aizen purred. "But, I would like to see what you have for me, Isabellia."

I hesitated for the first time in many years when I heard his request. I had what he wanted, and I would give it to him without a fight. I just… I just didn't want to give up the keys to my realm. I knew how he wanted to use them, and it was a horrible way to go. When I used my Negative Space, there was an end to the loss. With these demented little cubes, it was a never-ending punishment.

I let out an inaudible sigh and turned to him. I reached behind me and untied the pouch I had been keeping hidden underneath my uniform. Considering the weight of the pouch, I pulled it forward and rolled the cubes around inside. I was literally giving him the power to torment my kind, but I didn't have a choice. He had given me an order before he left, and I would execute that order to completion or he'd kill me. It was simple. Taking to one knee again, I offered him the pouch with both of my hands.

"Lorde Aizen, I present to you a piece of my Negative Space, the Caja Negaccion," I said smoothly, hiding my inner conflict. "Inside you will find twenty pieces, two for each Espada and each powerful enough to forever imprison any Hollow who is weaker than myself."

I had been so conflicted in that moment. Giving Aizen my power had hurt not only my pride, but my sense of being a god. That stupid pouch had everything that made me so powerful inside it, and I was just handing it over. The terrible little things… it was too late by that point to reconsider.

Even now, thirty years later, thinking of this moment made me unsteady. I considered ending the moving picture show of my memories for Grimmjow, but knew that I couldn't. My disgrace, the reason I had taken him back into my memories was coming up. I had to keep going until he saw, until he understood, why my number was such a disgrace.

"Gantenbainne," Aizen said without acknowledging my offer.

"Lord Aizen," he answered promptly.

"Would you go and ensure that our rooms are prepared? I believe we would like to retire for the evening, and save admiring the effort you have all put into constructing Las Noches for tomorrow."

I could feel Ganten's hesitation in the air, but he quickly covered it as he responded with a prompt, "of course, my Lord. Shall I send someone to show you the way?"

"That won't be necessary. Isabellia, I'm sure, will be more than willing."

"Of course," Ganten replied before he vanished with his sonido, leaving me alone with these Soul Reaper rejects.

I swallowed hard once Ganten passed beyond my senses. The last time I had been alone with Aizen he had almost killed me and forced me into submission. I hadn't had a choice but to fall under his service, and for some reason I felt like something bad was about to happen. I just knew it.

I felt Aizen's fingers brush across my own before the weight of the pouch was removed from my outstretched hands. I kept my eyes on his feet, waiting for any indication of trouble that I would sense rather than see. Something wasn't right, I just didn't know what.

"Tell me, Isabellia," he started to say as I heard the sound of the Caja Negaccion clinking together. "Are these completely separate from you like I asked for?"

"Yes, sir," I answered honestly. "As you requested, I completely severed my connection to them. Meaning, they will function independently from my own resurreccion."

"Good," he said. His feet turned and my body bristled, waiting for the need to react to him. "You see, I succeeded in retrieving the item I have been seeking for several years now. It's why we have returned."

We? As far as I was aware, these two Soul Reapers had never been here for before. But, my senses weren't the best. I could have been wrong.

"We are honored by your return, sire," I responded automatically.

"I am so glad to hear that."

His voice was wrong… Very wrong. I lifted my head to look up at him, but before I could even meet his eye a blade shot at me from one of the other Soul Reapers he had brought with him. I was hit was such force in the center of my chest that I was taken back out of my kneeling position and knocked onto my ass. I blinked up at Aizen in bewilderment. My head started to go fuzzy as blood rank freely down my uniform, spilling dark red as my heart continued to pump my life's blood from my body.

"You see," he started to say as he pocketed the Caja Negaccion I had given him. He pulled something else from his pocket though, and unexpectedly flashed it toward me as if to show it off. It appeared to be a small gem inside of a glass cube, but even I could feel the power that emanated from that tiny device. "I intend to make my own army of Espada. Those of you who currently exist are not strong enough to do me any good in the fights to come."

Fuck me…

"That makes me the weakest link," I said, my voice shaking as I felt my body slowly growing cold.

"Yes, unfortunately."

The blade slowly retracted from my chest, drawing with it a fountain of blood that ran down my front. I didn't even bother trying to heal the wound, knowing that a would caused by a Soul Reaper's purifying blade was almost impossible for me to repair so quickly. I was as good as dead, and I hadn't even a chance to try and stop it. If this was all they did I would eventually heal, but I just knew this wouldn't be it.

My body fell to the side and I landed roughly on the sand. My vision was foggy at best as I watched the three Soul Reapers before me. If my head had worked well enough, I would have been thinking some serious curses at them.

"Gin." The blurry form that I knew belonged to Aizen turned to face his fellow Soul Reaper. "Did you kill our little punisher?"

"You said she heals," Mr. Slanty-eyes said slyly. I thought he shrugged, but it was hard to tell with my cruddy vision. "I thought a killing blow wouldn't be as killing for her as another."

"You are right," Aizen replied smoothly. "I suppose we should do something with her to keep her… underwraps."

"I think we should just remove her head and be done with her," the halfbreed commented.

"No, I think she may be of use later," Aizen murmured as he turned back to face me. "Let's find somewhere to keep her until the time comes when she is useful again."

I wanted to stop the memory there, but even as the thought occurred to me I felt the gaping maw of the coming darkness call to my mind. My entire body shivered and I felt myself fall as I struggled to keep control. I didn't want to go into the darkness, especially not when Grimmjow was in my head. He couldn't know what came. The darkness would swallow him too if it could.

"Gin, take her somewhere that she won't be found. I don't want the other Arrancar to find her in such a state or we might have discontent within the ranks."

"As you wish," Mr. Slanty Eyes mused as he approached me, his blurry form growing in size until I was staring at his feet. He knelt and took my wrist before he stood and started dragging my unresponsive body across the scorching sand.

I tried to push Grimmjow out of my head, but my will was slipping away into the memory. Gods, I shouldn't have gotten so close to this event. I should have stopped sooner, or tried to change the memory. Even as that thought crossed my mind, I felt myself being sucked into the moment and lost all awareness of Grimmjow in my mind.

I drifted in and out of consciousness as I was dragged behind the Soul Reaper. In one moment I was under the massive gateway that lead into Los Noches. The next I was passing into the shadowed darkness of one of the buildings we had constructed within Los Noches. I jerked as a foot connected with my lower back, forcing my body to roll and drop as I cascaded over the edge of a stairwell. I stayed conscious long enough to feel the sharp pain of bones bruising and parts of me bending in ways that they were never meant to as I collided with the stairs over and over until I finally hit the bottom.

"You're a resilient one," he mused as he took hold of my wrist and began dragging me again.

Metal clanked as something closed around my wrist. I shuddered as my already depleted body seemed to weaken further. Gods…

I don't know how long it was before my eyes opened again. It could have been hours or months for all I knew. My body was so tired that it felt painfully impossible to move. My head slowly tilted back, my eyes struggling to focus as I tried to find my hands. It was so dark that I couldn't even tell if my eyes were open or not. I tried to move, but my body was numb. Was my body even still there? I couldn't tell, but I tried to move anyway, willing myself to do something.

Metal jingled as some part of me responded to my will. I realized after several moments that it was my hands, but with that realized came the awareness of the cuffs that bound each of my wrists. Knowing my body was there and I just couldn't feel most of it, I ordered my body to move. It took me several tries to get my entire body to listen to me, but eventually I managed to get up to my knees, my arms extended out with the cuffs that kept me from pulling them back to my body.

For the first time since I woke, I sucked in a breath to instantly regret it as my chest screamed and my throat chose that moment choke on something. I coughed, but the spasm only made the pain worse.

"Come back, Isa."

The voice that ran through the darkness didn't register in my mind as I fought with my body. Now that I could feel my body, there was so much pain. I pulled at the cuffs on my wrists with my entire body in an attempt to free myself, but of course it did nothing. Gods, I felt so weak. What had that Soul Reaper done to me?

I felt my body move in a way that seemed disjointed from what was actually happening. It almost felt like a sense memory as a body that wasn't my own was shifted like someone was rolling me over from my stomach with gentle hands. A touch so tender that it felt like the caress of a soft breeze drifted down my face before I was lifted and pulled into something warm. It was someone's body that I was being held against, the warm smoothness of the very male chest pressed to my cheek.

Despite the foreign sensations that ran through my mind, I continued to struggle against my bonds like there was nothing else to feel. I turned my body, finding something to rest my feet against as I took hold of the chains that were attached to my cuffs. I pushed with my legs as I tried to tear the chain free from where it was attached to the wall. It was no use though. I was weak, weaker than I had ever felt before. Even as I tried almost desperately to pull the chain free, I knew I couldn't do it. I was struggling for no reason. Whatever this chain was, I couldn't break it.

A soft caress drew over my brow before fingers wove into my hair. It wasn't real though. I was imagining it and I knew it. The darkness was all consuming. Were the delusions starting so soon?

I gave up trying to pull the chain free and sat in the darkness, my thoughts slow as I tried to comprehend just how I had gotten here. Aizen hadn't wanted to keep me alive, but what was I really needed for? He was making a new army, a stronger army.

I was trapped here, chained like a dog in the darkness. How funny was it to think that I would be trapped in darkness, when I was the one who trapped people in my darkness? Maybe he was trying to make a joke of me. Yes… that was it. A joke.

Time seemed to drag on after that. I tried for what must have been days to free myself. I tried everything from pulling at the chains, trying to slide my hands free from the cuffs, and trying to break my own hand. When none of it had worked, I'd even tried to chew my arm off. No matter how hard I tried one thing always stopped me. I was weak, so weak. Every action I took only made my movements slower and increased the effort that I had to exert to do the next thing. I had worn myself down until all I could do was lay there, dreaming of all the things I should have done to avoid this.

The pain of my injuries was almost too much, but coupled with a darkness I couldn't escape from? It was the worst sort of torture I could imagine. There was no hope of getting out of here. I had to resign myself to the fact that I would be trapped here. There was no one coming for me. All those who were bound to me died when Aizen came, and I hadn't bound anyone else. If he had almost killed me, he must have done the same to the rest of the Espada. There would be no one who knew I was here besides him. I was going to be trapped down here until he came for me one day.

The cruelest part of it all was that my body was still healing despite the weakness that plagued me. I wouldn't die from my wounds. They would heal, all the while draining me of power until I was nothing but a living corpse. I needed to escape. I had to… somehow.

"I want you to be my Amechania and no one else's," Aether's voice murmured in the darkness. I lifted my head, looking around for the body that belonged to the voice. It shouldn't have been possible. He had been dead for so long.

"Come with me," he called to me. Like a beacon in the darkness, he was there.

"Aether," I said, my voice slow with disbelief.

"Come with me," he cooed as he pulled me with him through the entrance of his garganta. "I want to show you something."

"What?" I asked as I stepped up onto the reishi he had called beneath his feet. My talons scraped across the crystal like material as I walked, filling the eerie silence of the space between worlds with the sound.

"I want to take you to my corner of the world. A place I call Olympus."

"Fight it, Isa," Grimmjow's voice filtered through the darkness, pricking at my awareness. The sensations of the other body in my mind crept to the surface and took over. I shuddered as my senses shifted for only a moment, giving me the impression of being cradled against the warmth of his body. His arms were around me, holding me tightly to him like if he didn't hold me to him I would slip away. But, it didn't matter how tightly he held me because even as I tried to respond to him the darkness crept over my mind and consumed me.

I stared into the darkness as my mind paused between memories. I had allowed myself to surface from the depths of my past with the silly hope that maybe someone would have found me while I was away. But of course no one had. I was still lying in the same position that I always had been, on my side with my wrists stretched beyond my head. Nothing had changed. I was still here, so weak that I couldn't even move but too strong to just die. Gods, I wanted to die. Why couldn't someone just end it already? Why hadn't I ended it all when I had had the strength? Why couldn't someone spare me that small mercy and make this torture end?

"You're stronger than this," Grimmjow called to me in the darkness. He was trying to draw me back, but the darkness was deep. I had lived in it for so long that it knew me and wanted to keep me in its depths. It was always calling, trying to drag me back down.

"I can't," I managed to mumble against his skin.

This was never going to end…

"Yes you can." His grip around me grew tighter. "You've just given up trying. Fight it."

I was never going to be free. There was no point in even thinking about freedom any more. The darkness had consumed me and there was nothing left of what I was. I would never find anything but the cold, biting loneliness. The only place where there was anything else was in my memories. Aether was there. Aurellia too. Everyone I had ever served or who was worthy was there, waiting for me to return. Why was I even bothering to stare into the darkness? It just wanted to torment me.

"There is no fighting. I tried. I tried for so long, until there was nothing left of me worth saving." My words came out choked, like some invisible hand was constricting my throat. "If I just give in, it all hurts less."

"You were alone then, Isa. You're not alone now. You're mine," his last word wasn't more than a growl. "Fight it."

"I can't." My words came out as a whimper.

"I won't let you give in to your demons. You're Isa Vaccio, my Isa Vaccio. You weren't imprisoned. Isabellia was." He pulled me tighter against him, his body folding around mine until I was utterly surrounded by him. The sensation was so foreign to what I was feeling in the darkness that I felt it slip away ever so slightly, but that was just the start. Power crept along my skin as his spiritual pressure rose. My entire body shuddered with the electric sensation but it was nothing compared to the lightning that shot through me when his power crashed over me through the bond.

I cried out, unable to suppress my voice as I was ripped from the darkness and light exploded through my vision. My body jerked as I came fully back to myself. My hands found fabric and skin as I turned into Grimmjow's embrace and clung to him, desperate not to lose whatever connection he had made with me to pull me back from the darkness. I was trembling, a physical reaction that I had before associated with muscle fatigue and weakness. Now, it was from something else entirely. I knew what fear felt like thanks to Grimmjow, but this seemed so much worse. I was terrified of that cold, relentless darkness. It wasn't mine, I couldn't control that terrible place, but rather was controlled by it. I couldn't go back. If I went back, I would never be able to escape again.

It was irrational. I knew it was, but I couldn't seem to get the sensation of being trapped out of my head. Even as Grimmjow's grip around me eased, I didn't want it too. I needed him to keep me here. If he let me go, I didn't know if I would slip away or not.

"Please," I said, my voice almost cracking. "Don't let me go. Not yet."

I felt him still against me, my words making him hesitate. I couldn't blame him. I had never sounded so small and pathetic in my long life, but here I was, literally begging him to hold me closer. It wasn't even physically possible to be any closer than we were, but I needed to feel the pressure of his hold around me. I just… I just needed it. I clenched his shirt tighter in my hand while my other arm that had wrapped over his waist shifted higher on his back, my fingers digging into his shirt with my need to be closer to him.

Maybe my touch had spurred him on, or perhaps it had been my words, I wasn't sure, but he finally gave me what I wanted. His arm that was wrapped around my body flexed, crushing me to him just like I needed him to. His other hand had never left my hair, but where it had been a cradling touch he now gripped the back of my head in a way that gave me no choice but to press my face into his chest.

I let out a shuddering breath and curled my legs up, pressing them to Grimmjow's hip like I would have curled into a ball if he weren't with me. I would have curled up too, if he hadn't been here. I had done it before when I was alone, curled up into the smallest lump I could possibly make to hide from the world as I dealt with my past. Raacharg had seen me like this, but I had always dealt with it alone, living through those agonizing years until it was so blended into memories that I found myself back in my own body. It had been years since I had fallen into the darkness like this, but it had always just been me to deal with it. Raacharg couldn't help me with this part of myself more than he already had.

Grimmjow was right, I had given up on fighting it. I had given up fighting all those years ago when I had first been trapped. There was no escaping on my own.

But, I wasn't alone now…

I didn't even try to keep track of how long Grimmjow held me like that. The only thing that changed as he held me was my shaking body slowly quieting until only a fine tremor remained. I hadn't done anything other than hold him as tightly as I could, but as time passed my grip on him faltered. Somehow I was exhausted, and it showed as my arms slowly fell from their fierce hold and I gave into his strength.

As soon as my grip had started to loosen, he had taken it as a sign and let his own hold ease. He never actually released me as he gradually moved. I didn't even realize that he had leaned back into the cushions behind him, pulling me with him so I was laying across his chest. I only noticed when I eventually had to shift my legs as they started to go numb from the odd position and moved to conform my body to the long line of his in a tangle that was equally close as the rest of me was to him.

I wasn't willing to part with him, not when he felt like he was the only thing anchoring me to the present.

His hand in my hair moved, gently dragging through my locks that were woven between his fingers. The delicate sensation made me shift, snuggling against him until I had shifted high enough that my forehead was pressed to the side of his neck. He must have understood my movement to be acceptance of his touch, because even after his fingers were free of my hair they returned to gently play with the strands.

I now understood why Isabellia had so readily accepted him. He wasn't like any other master I had before. Anyone else would have left me to deal with my issues. I was nothingness. So what if I was broken? My aspect alone would have insinuated that something was wrong with me, that I was lacking everything a normal person wouldn't be. As long as I could serve my purpose, I was in an acceptable state of being. Until Raacharg, I would have thought the same thing- 'Oh, that's just how they are. I will leave them to figure their shit out on their own.' Even with Aurellia's influence I would have thought that way. Now… Well, I would do anything to keep Raacharg safe.

Maybe Grimmjow was only doing this for me, or maybe he did this for others, I wasn't sure. Either way, I felt like I could trust him to pull me back, to save me from myself when I was to weak to do it myself. This wasn't the first time he'd done it. No, this was the third time he'd pulled me from my memories. Everytime he had been there, coaxing me with his voice and with his power to come back to the present. It wasn't just him though, it was me too. I actually responded to him, whether it was by instinct or by sheer will. It was more than I had reacted to most of my previous masters.

Other than the God Maker...

I had to swallow hard before I could speak. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to start talking yet, but I needed to know something before I actually accepted that he was here for me. "When did you realize that I had slipped away?"

"When you first pulled me into your past, the events you showed me were organized," he murmured. He shifted slightly, moving in a way that forced my face to turn up enough that he was able to press the edge of his jaw to the beads of bone that ran along my hairline. "You started to lose that control when you handed over the Caja Negacion, but I felt you really slip away when you tried to stop the scene and couldn't."

"You felt that, huh?" I mumbled.

"I felt enough," he answered, just vague enough that I knew he was really saying he'd felt everything. I was starting to figure him out enough to know he only got vague when he didn't want to say yes.

"Did you see the darkness?" I asked hesitantly. I was afraid to talk about it, like just mentioning it would drag me back in. I must have tensed with my question because his hand on my back started to move, his thumb rubbing back and forth over my skin. At some point my tank top had ridden up on my waist, leaving my lower back exposed to his touch. Even though I was just now noticing, it didn't bother me. I liked his touch.

"There wasn't much to see."

Was he making a joke right now? Really?

"I'll take that as a yes," I mumbled. He'd seen it. He'd seen how I'd been broken. Somehow, knowing that he knew both filled me with relief and terrified me all in one powerful, but confusing emotion.

I slowly lifted my head from the crook of his neck and pulled one arm between us. I pressed my palm to his chest and lifted myself up enough so that I could clearly see his face. The change in position put more of my body weight on his abdomen, but his face didn't show if my movement had made him uncomfortable. His face was blank like he had trained his expression just to hide the emotions he didn't want to show. I wasn't used to the blank face. I was used to the smug and damn near arrogant expression he liked so much. But instead he was blank, watching me, waiting for whatever it was that I was going to do.

What was I going to do?

Well, that was a stupid question.

"When I get lost like that, I cannot pull myself back." As I spoke, I stared into his azure eyes. The few inches that separated us made my words feel intimate, which was exactly what I had been going for. My words right now were meant for him and only him, and I needed him to know that. "I know Raacharg told you as much, but it wasn't just him saying things. I really cannot save myself from those moments. I've tried, but it only makes it worse."

"You don't have to give into it," he said, his voice was low but not in a growling sort of way. It was like he was trying to convince me otherwise, but wasn't being forceful about it.

I shook my head. "I'm broken. I can't fight it on my own. I'm not strong enough to do it alone."

His gaze narrowed in a speculative sort of way, and his hand stopped moving over my hair. He seemed to think for a moment, his gaze shifting from watching my left eye to my right several times and his thoughts ran. His hand slowly moved from my hair, drifting over the tip of my ear until he was cupping my cheek. His gaze settled on one eye and his expression became serious before he spoke. "How many times do I have to tell you, you're mine? I won't let you stay lost in your memories, not if I can pull you back."

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth for a moment before I released it. Maybe I would be asking too much, but I had to know… "I've been lost three times in your presence since you bound me, and every one of those times you pulled me back. Can I trust you to do the same every time? Can I trust that you won't… that you won't let me drown in the darkness?"

"Yes, you can." He hadn't even hesitated when he answered me.

I let out a small breath that I hadn't realized that I was holding. It may have just been words that came from his mouth, but I believed him. I believed him so much that it almost hurt. If I became lost, he wouldn't let me stay that way. He'd pull me back until I was Isa again. Gods… I hadn't realized just how much something like that would mean to me until this moment.

I didn't have words to give him in return, but I did have actions to thank him with. My cheek slid against his palm and I brushed his nose with mine. I almost stopped there, but instinct drove me to close my eyes and I pressed my lips to his. I expected that my actions wouldn't be returned, but to my surprise he didn't hesitate in returning my kiss. It was the first kiss that I, Isa, had actually initiated with the intent of it being real. I wasn't trying to form a bond nor was my old self trying to seduce him. This was me kissing him because I actually wanted to.

The kiss only lasted for a moment before Grimmjow pressed his head back into the cushion and broke it. I opened my eyes to gaze into his azure orbs from only a breath away as I wondered why he had pulled away. I knew he desired me, perhaps even more than my body wanted him. So, why stop?

"What's my name?" He breathed against my lips.

It only took me a moment to understand after that. He wanted to know it was me. He wanted to know that the woman kissing him wasn't Isabellia, but Isa. The realization made an easy smile turn my lips.

"Grimmjow."

Something in his eyes eased just before he stopped pressing his head back into the cushions and his mouth met mine once more. His lips pressed firmly against mine and I let myself fall into the sensation of him as his hand found my hair again. His lips were soft and warm, but the taste of him was only a hint of that earthy spice because our kiss was only a press of lips. Or, it was until I turned our kiss into a slow, lingering movement of our lips that was nothing like the devouring kisses we had shared before. These were filled with some emotion that I couldn't and didn't really understand.

I let myself fall into the sensation of his lips against mine as his hand gently slipped through my hair until covered my spine with his palm and caressed the bone with his thumb. Isabellia had taught him some very bad things, but in this moment, I really didn't mind. He had me so focused on his touch that I barely noticed him coaxing the rest of me to move. The soft fabric of his pants slid along my bare skin as he drew my one knee up to press against his hip, leaving my other where it was extended down between his.

We stayed like that for what felt like several minutes before I parted my lips from his. I didn't go far though, and lightly skimmed his cheek with mine as I brought my mouth to his ear.

"You said before that you thought it was me by the way I had kissed you, but when I bound you I only acted that way because I wanted you to let me in." I nuzzled his cheek with mine, enjoying the smoothness of his skin. Either he had shaved really recently, or he wasn't the beard growing type. Either way, I liked it. "I hope you know enough now that you won't make that mistake again."

"I bet I could get that sort of rise out of you if I wanted to," he growled back as his fingers flexed into my flesh.

"If this were about sex, I wouldn't argue, but this isn't." I pushed away from him with the hand that I still had pressed to his chest as I pulled my other leg from between his so I could straddle his waist. His fingers fell from my spine with the movement, but his other hand remained on my lower back, holding me in place atop him. He didn't need to hold me though, which he quickly realized when I stopped moving away from him and let him keep me where I was. My voice was low and slow as I asked, "do you have any other… obligations today?"

His eyes seemed to light up with my words, but I was pretty sure he didn't know where I was going with my question.

"No, I don't."

Staring into his azure eyes seemed to intimate for what I was about to ask, so I turned my gaze down to his chest. Idly I ran a finger down the scar that resided there as I ran over my next words in my head. "As I am now, I am useless to you in a fight unless you choose to use me as a healer. I need to sleep to let my spine continue healing, but with the darkness so fresh in my mind… I had intended to slip away to my rock once you and I made our peace, but now I doubt that I can sleep without becoming lost again."

Despite my clear avoidance of looking into his eyes, I saw his brow lift in that cocky sort of way he usually did. "Are you asking if you can sleep in my bed again?"

Ugh, he was amused. Of course he was amused. Here I was, trying to not be coy and he was finding it funny.

Stupid man…

"I'm asking you to guard my back, and if you can, keep me from falling back into my memories."

I felt the shift in his thoughts as his body moved under mine, relaxing in all sorts of ways. I hadn't realized that he'd been so tense until he wasn't. It almost made me want to meet his gaze, but I kept my eyes averted. I didn't want to see whatever emotion was in those azure eyes right now.

I almost startled when he moved to sit up, making my body slide down his until I was sitting his lap. It reminded me of the moment in my Negative Space when I had him pinned to the floor. The memory was so strong that I felt my cheeks threatening to heat up. His eyes had screamed sex and other carnal things when he had pinned me to his body, and I hadn't even been bound to him at the time. I had ignored it then, but now? He really knew how to push a girl's buttons. He didn't try to pin me to him like he had before, but instead his hand lifted and he pushed my bangs back from my face to run his touch across the beads of bone at my hairline. It was almost worse than if he had tried to pin me to him.

"If that's what you want, then I want something in return. I want to make a deal with you," he said. His finger idly twirled a lock of my hair as he gazed down at me with a half lidded stare. I didn't have anywhere to look other than at his face, so I was stuck gazing into his eyes whether or not I wanted to.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I ask you to let me in your bed again, and you want to make a deal?"

"Yes," he said. He would have sounded smug if his voice wasn't to soft.

This guy...

"What could you possibly want in exchange?"

His hand traced down my neck to the collar of my jacket, but he hesitated. His gaze flicked down to his hand and I watched thoughts pass through his eyes like clouds in the sky. His gaze flicked back to mine and he stared at me for several long moments as those thoughts of his ran. Idly his hand dropped, or I thought it was idly until his hand closed over mine.

He shifted my hand in his until he was holding the back of my hand in a light grip while his other went to the zipper holding his shirt together. I couldn't help it, I dropped his gaze so I could watch as he drew down the zipper to expose his torso. I had never really paid attention to the hole that all of us Arrancar possessed, but I had a moment of thinking what a pity it was that his interrupted the ripped lines of his abs.

Grimmjow guided my hand toward him, and I had a moment of wondering just what the hell he was doing before he pressed my palm to his skin. I thought he would have let my hand linger there for sometime, but instead he moved my hand around his side, making me feel the warm hardness of his body. Entranced by the feel of him under my hand, I barely noticed that I was leaning toward him as he brought my hand around his side and to his back, the tips of my fingers brushing the edge of his hole.

"Do you feel it?" He asked, drawing my attention back up to him.

It took me a moment to understand what he was asking, and I stared up at him blankly. We were a lot closer than we had been, but it was just because I had to lean closer to him for my hand to be held where it was. Of course I felt the space that was supposed to represent his heart, but for some reason I didn't think that was what he was asking about.

"I feel you," I said slowly.

His fingers laced through mine and he guided my fingertips over his skin. That was when I realized exactly what he was trying to point out to me. There was a thin, purposeful line on his skin that felt smoother than the rest. It was like sitting on a couch and running your fingers over the difference in worn leather and new. If it hadn't been for the clearly defined difference between his skin and the line, I probably wouldn't have noticed.

Grimmjow's grip around my hand fell away, allowing me to freely trace the number engraved on his back like I was following the line of a deep tattoo. I hadn't questioned his claim to being the 6th Espada, but if I had this would have been indelible proof. Even though I couldn't see it, I knew his number was the real deal because it was the same texture as mine, even if his was larger and bolder.

I followed the feeling of his number all the way from tip to curve almost like I was entranced by it. My gaze had unfocused as I paid more attention to my hand hand, and even my voice sounded distant as I said, "I don't think I've seen your number before."

"It's been there as long as I've been an Arrancar. I don't try to hide it, it was just placed in a spot that is usually hidden by clothes," he answered. His mask bumped against my cheek, but I barely reacted to the cool touch as he asked, "What do you think goes through people's minds when they see my number?"

"You're one of the fakes," I answered him.

His mask pressed to my cheek, the sharp teeth dragging across my skin as he brought his mouth to my ear. His hot breath caressed my skin and moved my hair in a way that made me want to shiver. "No, that's what you think. What does everyone else think, Isa? The Hollows that inhabit Menos Forest, the Numeros that reside here, even Soul Reapers. What do they see?"

I swallowed and reluctantly withdrew my hand from his back. I didn't remove my hand from his skin though, and instead settled my hand on the frim line of his hip. "I suppose that they see you as an Espada."

"Yes, an Espada. An Espada who is powerful and feared. If anyone sees my number they know I will kill them if I feel like it."

His hand that had been guiding mine slid between our bodies and trailed up my abdomen, over my breasts and to my shoulder. He coaxed his fingers under my jacket and slid the collar down to expose my shoulder. He didn't stop there like I had half expected, but instead kept moving his hand down, taking my jacket with it. I didn't even realize that I was moving to help him remove my jacket until my hand came free of the fabric and the other half of the jacket started to slip from my other arm with the weight of it as it pooled around my hips.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He didn't answer me with words, but rather his actions. His hand found my number where it was tattooed on the back of my shoulder and his fingers traced over the digits. It only took a moment for one finger to trace over the zeros in a slow twirl that both tickled and bothered me at the same time. It took every ounce of my will to not shy away from his touch. I didn't like him touching my numbers. Seeing them was one thing, but caressing them like he was? The only reason I didn't pull away was because I had just been doing the same thing to his number.

"What do you think everyone sees when they gaze upon your number?" He asked, his voice not much more than a whisper in my ear. He really liked doing that, murmuring things so that only I could hear.

I'd never admit it aloud, but I liked it too.

"Someone who was conquered," I answered softly.

He pulled back from me until he was sitting up straight again and able to gaze down at me. I couldn't stop myself from meeting his azure gaze, and I stared up at him from only inches away.

"No, again, that is what you think-"

"It's the truth," I interrupted.

"Maybe, but it's not what other people see." His hand slid up my shoulder until he was cupping the side of my neck, his thumb carefully sliding back and forth over my pulse. "They see someone who achieved becoming an Arrancar on their own, outside of the Hogyoku's influence. To the Numeros, even the ones that serve me, that number means that you are second only to the three remaining Espada in power. To those in the World of the Living and the Soul Society, that number means you belong to the Espada. You are both powerful and part of a group of more who are just like you."

"I'm not just like you fakes," I said before he could continue.

"You're right. Your knowledge makes you more dangerous, but they don't know that. All they see is this pretty little thing with a thousand lifetimes in her golden eyes and an Adjuchas at her side. They don't know you at first glance, they just know what you look like."

"What's your point, Grimmjow?" I asked, my voice sounding grumpy. "You wanted to make a deal, so spill it. What do you want?"

"I want you to stop hiding your number."

Um... what?

"You can't be serious."

"I am serious," he replied.

"That's hardly an even deal," I said, shaking my head.

"Yes it is. You want me to guard your back and to keep you from becoming lost, or at the very least to pull you back if you slip away. In exchange, I want you to expose something everyone besides you finds to be a sign of power. I think it's a win-win deal for you."

"No, it's not." I was still shaking my head and had been for most of the time he'd been talking. I had tried to make him understand, but clearly pulling him into my memories had done nothing. He didn't get it. But, how could he? He was from a completely different time. I shouldn't have even bothered trying to make him understand. All I'd done was opened myself up to him, shared one of the hardest moments in my life with him, all for him to just want me act like the other fakes.

Like those twenty years never happened.

Like Aizen coming to Hueco Mundo was something to celebrate instead of curse.

…

I was an idiot.

I was moving to get off of him before I really knew it, but I was so close to him that it was difficult to do quickly and he realized what I was doing before I could even get more than one foot under me.

"Don't run from me, not now," he said as his arms surrounded me and he pulled me back to him.

I pushed at his chest, not willing to hurt him to get away but still not wanting to be in his arms. The one foot I had managed to get under me slipped when I tried to put my weight on it and it caught on his zanpakuto as I fell back down, trapping my leg between the hilt and his side. He pulled his knee up, forcing my hips against the front of his body and effectively locking me in place against him. I tried to push up again, but the position made my legs pretty much useless and I was left only with my hand to protest. His grip changed once he knew I was actually stuck, his hand sliding up to cover the back of my neck. I knew what he was going to do before it happened, but for whatever reason I didn't resist him as hard as I could have and he forced my face to turn up to him so he could capture my mouth with his.

I didn't stop pushing at him even though it seemed pointless with the way my mouth was surrendering to him. It was like my body didn't know what to do; listen to my head that wanted almost desperately to get away from him, or do what the irrational woman in me wanted and give into his touch. He didn't give me much of a choice in the matter. He was stronger than me. I knew it, he knew it, but I couldn't just give into him.

And yet I was doing just that. I was kissing him back, fighting in a completely different way for dominance as my thoughts shifted from getting away, to being in control. If I couldn't get away, then the next best thing was to be in charge. My hand shifted from pushing at his chest to sliding over his shoulders. One went to his hair where my fingers knotted in his short locks so I could control his head, while my other crossed behind his shoulders so I could lift myself just a bit higher.

A low growl vibrated through his chest and he tilted his head forward. I think he'd intended to break our kiss, but I didn't like that and caught his bottom lip between my teeth. That growl of his became more of a groan, but he pulled back anyway and I was forced to release or I would have drawn blood.

"I want you to stay, Isa." As he spoke his head lifted slightly and he brushed his lips over my cheek, then my nose. "Showing your number is only something that will prevent the other Numeros, most Soul Reapers and most of the gifted living from ever starting a fight with you. They know what the number means, and they won't fuck with you if they know you have one."

I shook my head. He wasn't listening...

"I can't, Grimmjow. I showed you my memories so you would understand what this brand means to me. It's a mark of forced servitude, of the defeat I suffered, of how he broke me."

"And that's why I made you feel mine, so you'd understand how things are now," as he spoke he moved. His hands found my face and he cupped my cheeks in his big palms before forcing me to look up and meet his eyes. "You don't have to expose your number all the time, just tell me you will consider it the next time you engage with someone, and I will accept that as enough."

I wanted to shake my head again, but couldn't really make the movement with the way he was holding me. "In two thousand years there have only been two events that were big enough to make me change. This isn't one of them, Grimmjow. I told you, even Raacharg told you, I don't handle change well. You're asking too much of me."

"You probably haven't noticed, but you've changed just since I bound you."

"Yes, but that's the bond. It's not me that's changing."

"But isn't it?" His left hand slid down from my cheek until he covered my chest just above my right breast. When he stopped there, I had a moment of wondering why. "You want to change what you are. Why else would you keep pieces of the people who gave things you didn't have before them?"

I slowly looked down to his hand on my chest. It was resting directly over the feathers that I had been collecting, including the God Maker's.

Raacharg was the only one who knew about my feathers. He was the only one who could have told him. No one else knew what I had done.

"He told you?" My voice was calm. I was calm. I wasn't going to flip just because Raacharg had told him the one absolute secret that I had. Nope… not gonna flip. Not gonna flip…

"You showed me."

My head snapped up and I stared into his steady azure eyes. "I showed you?"

"Yes," he answered smoothly.

"What did I show you?" I asked, my voice coming out almost too quickly.

"How the God Maker died, and how you took your bond with him and kept it here." His fingers flexed into my skin, and my heart both raced and fell at the same time.

He knew. He knew what I had thought a thousand years ago. He knew that my saying he felt like the God Maker wasn't just a skewed memory. He had to know that I really knew that they felt the same. Well shit… No, not just shit, this was a freaking platter of shitty fucking shit balls. That's why he had been acting differently towards me since I had woken up. He knew that I thought he was the God Maker come back to me, or that I had at least considdered it. There was no way he hadn't put two and two together. He was smart enough to have figured it out. Jesus…

I licked my lips then pulled my bottom lip between my teeth to gnaw on it as I struggled for words.

"Isa," he cooed, drawing my attention back to him.

"You're not the God Maker," I said a little too quickly.

"I'm not, you're right," he agreed. His voice was so soft, like he was afraid I'd bolt the moment he said something I didn't like.

I couldn't blame him. It's exactly what I had tried to do a moment ago.

"I've told you before that you feel like him."

He nodded. "You have."

"Does knowing my secret change how you think about me?" I asked slowly. I almost didn't want the answer to that question, but I had to know.

"Yes."

I swallowed down the forming lump in my throat and slowly lifted my gaze to meet his. I wasn't sure what answer I had been expecting, but his answer wasn't it. Or maybe it was. I really didn't know right now.

"When you first told me you wanted me, it was for power and my knowledge. Has that changed as well?"

"A bit."

"What does a bit mean exactly?"

He let out a soft sigh and his hand that was still on my neck slid back just enough so that his fingers could caress the spine of my mask. "Do you remember when you told me that the bond was the cure to our lonely existence?"

"I do," I answered.

"Maybe it's weird," he started to say as his gaze trailed down my face to stop on my lips. "When I felt your loss, I felt it as if it were my own. I am not your God Maker, but what you felt for him? That loyalty, your devotion- I want that for myself."

"If you had picked the old me, Isabellia, you would have had that already," I pointed out as I tilted my head just slightly away from him so my gaze came at an angel.

"I don't want what you used to be," he murmured. His eyes flicked back up to mine and I was momentarily paralyzed by the intensity of his gaze. "I told you before I ever saw your memories that I wanted you as your are now."

He was right. He had told me as much when I had awoken in his arms before I'd become lost. He'd wanted me then, but he wanted me even more now? I almost couldn't believe it. How could he want me so much even while knowing that I was broken?

"Why?" I asked, my voice coming out so softly that he wouldn't have heard me if I hadn't been only a breath away.

"You know why," he chided lightly as his nose bumped mine.

He was right. I did know why, I had heard Raacharg say as much. Grimmjow wanted someone to want him, someone who would serve him because they chose to and not because he was the only one left who would take them.

"Then we are really going to have to learn how to work and fight together," I said as I bumped his nose in return. "Fumbling around like we did at the shrine will get one of us killed when Arnau finally brings his army to Los Noches' door."

His eyes slid closed and he sucked in a long breath just so he could sigh it out. His breath tickled my lips and I couldn't seem to help myself as I leaned forward and softly pressed my lips to his. I only let the kiss last for a moment before I moved slightly to the side and buried my face into the crook of his neck and shoulder. He didn't seem to mind because he hugged me tighter to him, holding my body close so I didn't have to strain to maintain the position.

"Once your mask is healed, we will have to learn to fight together instead of against one another," he said as his hand slid down my back to cup my ass and he lifted me slightly off his lap. I started to protest, but before I could get words out he started moving to get up. He held my body to him as he rolled forward to his knees, supporting me weight until I gripped him with my thighs so I wouldn't slide down him.

"Grimmjow," I murmured. His movement paused and realizing that he was stopped for me, I let my left leg fall from his where it had been wrapped around his waist to rest on the cushions. My right leg was still caught on his zanpakuto, keeping me from drawing it back down. He must have known what I was working up to, because his hand trailed down from my ass to follow the back of my leg too the underside of my knee. I tried very hard to hide the shiver that ran through my body when his hand went from sliding along my shorts to my skin, but I was pretty sure he'd noticed anyway.

He helped me to unhook my leg from his zanpakuto by lifting my knee high enough that he was able to guide it over the hilt before he let my skin slide along his hand as my knee found the cushion. I scooted back from him then, not letting myself linger as I turned and crawled across the lounger toward the edge where I had originally been set down. I thought about grabbing hold of my zanpakuto but decided I wouldn't need it for what I was going to be doing as I slid off the edge and found my feet.

I noticed then that my jacket was still hooked on my right arm. I lifted my arm and stared down at it like it had surprised me that it was there. I hadn't noticed it with Grimmjow stealing my attention. I glanced back at him from the corner of my eye. He was watching me, still in the position I had left him in. He was still, like a predator watching what his prey would do.

I consider the fabric as I let my gaze wander down its hanging form. I had two options. One was to slide the jacket back on and pretend the last hour had never happened. I could leave here, pretending that I hadn't been lost, that he hadn't pulled me back, and that he and I hadn't come to some sort of understanding. I didn't want to pretend that it hadn't happened, but that's what putting my jacket back on would symbolize and I really wanted to go back into my safe and solitary lifestyle. It was what I was used to and what I knew.

Or, I could do what he wanted me to do and drop the jacket. I didn't have to hide my number from him. I could accept that what we had just talked about was in my best interests, and that I needed to get over my past. I could move on, progress forward and allow myself to allow him in. I didn't have to accept anyone else. It was only him that mattered, only my master.

I thought about those two options as I weighed the pros and cons of both before I tipped my hand down, letting the sleeve fall from my arm to pool in the lounger. His eyes followed the jacket to where it fell, but as soon as I started moving again his gaze was attracted. I turned away from him to hide my pleased grin as I stepped down to the floor. I could feel his eyes on me as I took one step and stopped to hook my toe into the heel of my ankle high sock before I stepped out of it. I kicked the free sock away and took another step before I did the same with the other.

"If we are to fight together, you'll have to learn how to do combat in my Negative Space," I said as I took hold of the bottom of my tank top and started to lift it.

"What are you doing, Isa?" He asked as the sound of fabric moving hit my ears. He was following me.

"I need to sleep to heal. Even if you will not guard my back, I cannot leave without Raacharg and he is off educating Loly's companion about the bond. I intend to stay here, where a wandering weapon will not find me in my moments of weakness."

"You're going to stay?" He asked.

I had thought I'd made my intentions clear enough, but I hummed my confirmation anyway as I pulled my tank top and sheath off, sliding them over my shoulders and head in one movement before I let them fall to the ground. "That deal you wanted to make- how set are you on seeing me accept it?"

He was abruptly in front of me, standing between me and his bed like a wall. He'd used his sonido to get in front of me, and for some reason the thought of him preventing me from getting into his bed amused me. "Give me your word that you will at least consider what I said, and I will accept that as enough for now."

"For now?" I asked as I lifted a brow.

"Yes, for now."

I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment as I hooked my thumbs under the waist of my shorts and slowly drew them down over my hips to expose the black seamless underwear that I had on underneath. His heated gaze was fixated on my movements as I peeled the shorts down my legs. My movment had started out with the intent to avoid pushing his sexy time buttons by as the short exposed more of my skin I couldn't help as I moved my hips in a sway that I knew had his gaze fixated on my back. There was always something about watching a woman disrobe that men were helpless to resist, and I couldn't help but to indulge in the small power I had over him.

"Fine," I purred as I slowly stepped out of the shorts and tossed them aside with a flick of my wrist. "You have my word. Now, are you really going to sleep with me while fully clothed?"