Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Odalisque ❯ Chapter 34 ( Chapter 34 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: Tituba

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.

Odalisque

Chapter 34

“Are you sure?” Rukia asked dubiously as she and Ichigo trudged up the steep hill, their feet sloshing in the fresh snow. She was slightly out of breath seeing as how the foot of icy powder kept her legs working hard. “I mean, you're sister could have kept the restaurant thing a secret. I don't have to come with you.”

Even though I want to, she added on a bit wistfully. She looked up at the crest of the hill and saw a small picnic table laden with… holy crap, was that a Bunsen burner? A coffee pot? A miniature grill?

She also saw the three individuals all sitting on one side of the picnic table. Their bodies were arranged from tallest to shortest. Each one of them had their hands folded placidly on the table and each individual also happened to be sporting rather sadistic grins on their wickedly pleased features.

“Oh my,” Rukia whispered.

“Think of it this way,” Ichigo huffed as he shied a foot or two away from her. “If Yuzu did tell them and you didn't show, I'd be face down in the snow with my father over me, screaming like a hysterical woman.”

Rukia punched him in the side for that.

“But still,” Ichigo grunted painfully, “If she didn't tell them and you came anyway, I'm my dads' new favorite offspring.”

“So I'm your insurance.” Rukia stated dryly as they came within three yards of the picnic table.

“Pretty much.” He sighed and turned to his family. “Hey Dad, Karin… Yuzu.” His second sister's name was growled but she simply smiled happily.

“RUKIA!” Isshin screamed, losing his previous composure and leaping across the table. Rukia yelped as the squealing, two hundred pound, mass of a man came leaping over the table and straight at her. Swiftly, she jerked to the right and crashed directly into Ichigo, whose hands instinctively came out to catch her. Isshin fell into the snow with a heavy thud—how it could be heavy in the snow, Rukia had yet to find out—but instead of staying down he jerked around and pointed an accusing finger at his son, who still had a stunned Rukia in his arms.

“Aha! I knew it!” He leapt to his feet and began doing erratic jumping jacks. “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!” His finger shot out and landed dangerously close to Rukia's nose. Her eyes crossed and she gaped slightly. “You two are so in love!”

From the table, Yuzu squealed in delight, “See Dad! Wasn't I right?”

“You sure were, Yuzu!” He screamed and jumped over to her to give her a high five.

Rukia stood dumbly in Ichigo's warm arms. Stunned beyond belief, she just kept still, silently aware that her subconscious was truly enjoying being held by Ichigo somewhere other than in the bedroom.

Her mind began screaming a warning.

She shook herself mentally and slowly detached herself from Ichigo's arms. He blinked twice and looked down at her. She looked up at him.

“Oh,” he muttered, releasing her kept elbows and taking two steps away. “Sorry about that.”

“It's alright,” she whispered, her eyes fighting not to lean towards the ground while her cheeks engaged in their own private battle to remain pale.

“Oh! What a tender display of affection!” Isshin sobbed from his perch on the table. “Finally, I'll be able to have the grandchildren I've always wanted!”

“Shut up old man!” Ichigo barked and he reached out to grab Rukia's hand. “Come on, let's sit down.”

“Yes, Ichigo!” Isshin bawled again, “Touch her any way you wish. I mean, I know you must be proper what with your sisters being in the area and all…”

Ichigo's fist went into his father's face while Rukia took a delicate seat on the picnic table bench. It was cold but that was to be expected. Instantly, a plate of warm food was in front of her, along with a steaming mug of hot chocolate. Rukia looked up and smiled at Yuzu, who giggled and gave a similar plate to her brother.

“This looks delicious Yuzu, thank you.” Rukia said as politely as she could.

Ichigo muttered angrily as he took a bite of his food. Rukia raised an eyebrow at him and then leaned back to look beyond his body. She choked lightly when she saw his father bleeding quietly into the snow.

“It's only a nosebleed,” Karin stated and Rukia shot her head up, staring at the younger woman in bewilderment. “Don't worry about it. He'll be back tormenting you in a second.”

Yuzu nodded enthusiastically, “He will!”

“Okay…”

“Yes my lovely third daughter,” Isshin crooned, suddenly appearing to the side, blood smeared over the entire bottom half of his face. “Have now fear! I am perfectly fine!”

“Daddy please,” Yuzu whispered frantically, bits of pink staining her cheeks, “No blood at breakfast.”

“Oh, right.” Isshin took a napkin and wiped away the remnants of red ooze. Rukia turned dutifully back to her food and wondered how Ichigo had been spawned from such a strange man.

His mother, she thought as she delightfully sipped the wonderful hot chocolate. Ichigo ate sullenly beside her and kept his eyes on his father as he cleaned himself. Rukia guessed that having Isshin spout blood was a normal occurrence in the Kurosaki household.

“So, Rukia,” Isshin said, plopping down directly opposite from her at the table, “Are you pregnant yet?”

And there went her hot chocolate.

“We're leaving,” Ichigo growled, rising from the table.

“Sit!” Isshin commanded, his voice suddenly booming around the entire park. Even Rukia jumped a bit at the absolute power that Ichigo's father exuded with only his voice. She looked up at him and raised her eyebrows when she saw his face looking completely and utterly serious. She didn't think she'd ever seen him like that before.

Not that you've seen him many times dumbass, her mind chided her. She swallowed the buttery croissant she was eating and stared pointedly into the distance, mimicking the actions of Ichigo's sister, Karin.

“If you're going to keep going in that vein old man we're not going to be staying here much longer,” Ichigo growled angrily, his hand clenching and unclenching the table.

“You know I can still whoop you boy,” Isshin said, his voice quiet and lethal, not at all the voice Rukia had heard him use before.

“Shove it Dad,” he snarled, “No more questions like that. Rukia and I are friends. Nothing more than that.”

“And yet a few months ago you were only business partners,” Karin chimed in using a tone as bored as all get out. She turned to smirk at her brother, “Just think of what you could be next month.”

We're already there kid, Rukia thought as she polished off her pastry and brushed the crumbs from her hands.

“Just remember your friggin manners old man.” Ichigo growled and Rukia thought that if he had been of the canine variety, his hackles would have been raised.

Her mind cringed at the association. If he had been canine in nature it would have been rather sick to be sleeping with him.

“Let's just change the subject!” Yuzu laughed a bit nervously. Rukia couldn't blame her, the tension from her father and her brother was nearly palpable. Hell, even she was getting a bit uncomfortable with the testosterone that was being exhibited.

Isshin was the one to snap first. His serious face became the same one of clownish happiness that it had been only a few moments ago. He grinned like a fool and turned to his daughters. “Excellent idea Yuzu!”

“Fine,” Ichigo interjected vehemently.

Isshin sat down at the table and giggled like a schoolgirl. “So Rukia,” he placed his hands under his chin and batted his eyelashes. “What are you doing for the holidays? Christmas is only a few days away you know.”

Rukia's eyes blinked twice and let out a surprised, “Oh.”

That was right, Christmas was only a few days away. Yet if truth be told she hadn't thought anything about it. No one in the Kuchiki family actually bothered to celebrate the holidays. She couldn't even remember having an actual Christmas celebration when Hisana had been alive. To her, December twenty fifth was just another day of the year.

“Ah,” Rukia frowned and shrugged, “I guess I'll just stay home.”

“You won't be with your family?” Karin asked in the same bored tone.

She shook her head, “No… he just got out of the hospital so he went back to his house about fifty miles away from Karakura. I don't think I'll really celebrate Christmas. Although it's no big deal; I've never really done anything for the holidays.”

The pause that followed seemed to freeze everything in the park.

“NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR THE HOLIDAYS!?”

Rukia clapped her hands over her ears and cringed in her seat. Ichigo flinched viciously beside her and even Karin and Yuzu shifted about two feet away from their father. After a moment of testing her ears to see if her eardrums had shattered, Rukia peeked up from under her eyelashes.

Isshin's face was filled with tears and his lips were pouting dramatically.

“N-no?” Rukia hazarded. She gulped and looked silently over at Ichigo. His gaze was one of disgust and a bit of wariness. His eyes flickered over to hers and then back to his father quickly.

“Then you must come over to our house!” Yuzu squealed. Her hands shot out to the top of the table and she grasped Rukia's bare hands in her own gloved ones. “We already have a tree up and you can come and have dinner with us!”

“Yes!” Isshin blubbered, “You must come to our house to celebrate.”

“I wouldn't want to intrude,” Rukia said quickly, her hands still imprisoned in Yuzu's. “Really, it's no big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” Karin said moodily, “Please don't make Yuzu and Dad start crying.”

“But—”

“No, it's alright.”

Rukia's spine stiffened just a bit as Ichigo's voice reached her from the scant feet that were separating them. She turned her head towards him and saw him giving her a rueful smile that made her heart twitch.

He nodded and said, “Seriously, Yuzu always makes enough food to serve a small army and… if you're not doing anything…”

Rukia swallowed heavily and looked him straight in the eye. His honeyed amber gaze held nothing but intense sincerity. But was this just a ploy to get his family to think that they were just friends? Honestly, if Ichigo desperately wanted to hide the fact that they were bed-buddies wouldn't he want to push her away? He probably just wanted to try and keep things out from under his father's radar.

Or… maybe he just wants me there.

Talk about a long shot.

She smiled and nodded twice before turning back to his family. “I think I'd like that.”

Isshin jumped into the air whooping, Yuzu giggled happily, and Karin told them not to make out under the mistletoe. The last statement received a glare from Ichigo.

“Then it's settled,” Isshin crooned, “Ichigo, you will pick up your future wife at four on Christmas so she can come and sit and have dinner with us.”

“She's not my future wife.” Ichigo growled angrily.

“Yes, yes, yes…” he waved his hand, “I meant the mother of your future children.”

Isshin was once again face down in the snow, bleeding from his already damaged nose.

“Shove it Dad.”

*~*~*

Rukia's mind hazed over like the snowflakes constantly falling around her as she walked down the already snow-laden streets. Her buzzing brain was, once again, wearing itself out by going in mindless circles of questions. No end was, of course, in sight but her conscious didn't seem too bothered by the situation. She fidgeted a bit with the buttons on her coat and continued walking. One foot went in front of the other, mindful of nothing but her troubling thoughts.

Ichigo.

She sighed and pressed a hand to her face while brushing a piece of hair out of her eyes. The wind picked up and she groaned when she was forced to pull her hat down even further onto her head.

Inside of her chest, her heart throbbed dully and her stomach ached with something that could be considered nerves. Okay, they couldn't be considered nerves because she knew they were nerves.

She bit her lip as she pulled her scattered thoughts back to the one of the many questions she had floating through her mind.

Do I get him anything?

A trivial thing to be sure but still, it had been bugging Rukia for nearly three days straight. Her dinner with the Kurosaki's was tomorrow and she still had no idea if she was supposed to bring something. Did she have to get them gifts? Should she bring over a few bottles of wine? What about Ichigo? Did she get him anything? They were, after all rather… close.

She pressed a hand to her forehead and groaned. But what if he hadn't gotten her anything in return? She would look pretentious and bratty if she showed up with a gift for him when he didn't have one for her. Besides, was theirs the type of relationship where gift-giving was actually acceptable?

She let out a half-strangled shout and pulled her mouth into a grimace. Hell if she knew.

Rukia growled and tossed her head to the side. As she moved she passed a cluster of boutique shops. After glancing into three separate shop windows her feet screeched to an immediate halt and her mouth fell open. She twisted her head to the window of one particular building.

Her lips curled into a grin and she instantly forgot about her inner conflict. She didn't care anymore. So what if Ichigo thought she was being pretentious by getting him a gift?

She had to get this for him. She wanted to get this for him.

Rukia pushed her way into the shop with a smile on her face.

*~*~*

Ichigo sat in his car, fiddling with the stereo, while waiting for Rukia to come down from her apartment building. So far he had listened to four jazz songs, one alternative, and two heavy metal. He quirked his eyebrow in irritation and growled. The station changed again as he leaned back in his chair and glanced at the clock on his dashboard. It now read 4:26.

“Damn it woman,” he muttered, fighting the ever growing urge to honk his horn. Christ already knew his dad had called him at least four times, wondering where the hell his “future wife” was and why they weren't home already.

That was one of the disadvantages about talking to his father over the phone. When he said shit like that Ichigo just couldn't punch him in the face like he wanted.

His car tuned the radio to a rap song and he changed it. Right now he didn't care to listen to men pontificate about `shorty's' and `ho's' and how much `pussy' they were stealing from other men.

He looked up at the clock again. 4:30.

Growling, he was nearly ready to bang his head down on the steering wheel when the passenger side door opened with a click.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…” Rukia said breathlessly as she slid into her seat, purse in one hand and a large bag in the other.

“Damn woman, it's about friggin time!” He snarled.

“I said I was sorry,” she returned smartly, shutting the door with another click and sliding a loose piece of hair out of her face. “I couldn't find something to put this in.” She held up the bag in her hand and swallowed. “And I didn't want to just go to your house without bringing anything.”

He turned the engine of his car on and listened to the happy purr of the happy machine. He shifted gears and waited to be able to pull out onto the snow-laden road. “What's in that bag anyway?”

She shrugged. “Just some champagne.”

“Good god,” he huffed, “You actually want to see my father when he gets drunk, don't you?”

“I have every confidence that you'll end up punching him out.” She retorted dryly.

“Yeah well, I just hope that he doesn't start shoving fertility pills down your throat.”

Rukia just shook her head and sighed, falling back into the seat gently.

Ichigo's eyes, which were mostly focused on the road ahead of him, took the chance to flicker over to the woman sitting in his passenger seat. He grinned when he saw the small black dress she was currently wearing. The heavy coat which was supposed to hide it from his view had slipped to the side, revealing yards of gossamer fabric that looked liquid to the touch. By the looks of things it was an empire waist dress with two spaghetti straps leading up past her shoulders and… did they cross at the back?

Hot damn… we might just have to have our own Christmas party later.

“Eyes on the road asshole.”

Her voice jerked him back to reality and he looked quickly at the snowy road. His foot immediately went to the brake and his Benz careened to halt only inches behind a classic mom-mobile.

He whipped his head around and glared, “Thanks for warning me!”

Rukia simply smirked, “I did warn you. You just weren't paying attention. Although, honestly,” she gave him a coy grin and flipped a piece of hair behind her shoulder, “When you're staring at me, how could I blame you?” Her haughty, actress-inspired laugh made Ichigo's insides cringe.

“Inflate your head much?” He muttered.

“Oh bite me.”

“Gladly, but later, when we're in private.”

“Perv.”

“I'm not the one who—”

“Eyes on the friggin road!”

“Shit!”

“Incompetent bastard.”

“Nosy bitch.”

“Well a very Merry Christmas to you too asshole.”

He sullenly growled as he pulled onto the familiar street where his father lived. The gleaming neon lights gave the house away immediately and Ichigo cringed as he pulled his stylish black Benz to the front of the tackiest house on the entire block. There was even an entire Santa Claus and Reindeer plastic statue collection on the top of their roof. He bet even shuttle astronauts could see their house.

Rukia's eyes became wide as she stared out the window. “Oh… wow.”

“Yeah.” He muttered in a surly tone.

“Well at least it's festive,” she chimed in, “I mean, there's something to say about all those lights. I mean, if you squint it kind of looks like a galaxy threw up or something… and I must say this much tackiness could be considered a form of modernist art.”

“Bite me,” Ichigo growled as he pulled himself out of the car.

Rukia emerged from her side as well, decorative bag in tow, she sent him a smirk over the top of the car and grinned. “Gladly,” she mimicked him, “But later, when we're alone.”

Ichigo's arm brushed against hers as he met her on the opposite side of the car. His mouth curled into a smirk as he nudged her, “Does this mean I get to call you a perv now?”

“Of course not,” Rukia said airily, brushing her loose hair away.

“And why is that?”

He and Rukia stepped up to the door and they both paused before it. She turned her face up to his and, in the glow of the holiday lights, Ichigo took a moment to revel in just how perfect her face was. Her eyes were softly outlined, bringing their liquid beauty out in full force, her lips were a shimmering shade of pink that he just ached to taste, and her cheeks were rosy enough that he had to fight to keep his hand from her skin.

Damn she was beautiful.

“You cannot call me a perv,” Rukia told him quietly while leaning in inch by inch, “Because I intend to comply completely with your request.”

“You do?”

“Oh yes,” she said softly. “Besides…” she turned to the door and smirked up at him coyly, “I bought myself handcuffs as a gift this year.”

Ichigo blanched and she grinned, “Who else am I going to use them with?”

The frantic shout of “No one!” nearly had the chance to erupt from behind his lips. They would have to, had his younger sister not flung open the front door at that precise moment.

“Ichigo! Rukia!” Yuzu squealed in delight, her small body clad in a homey apron that made her look like she just stepped out of a fifties television sitcom, “I'm so glad you're both here!”

“I'm sorry we're late Yuzu,” Rukia began immediately before Ichigo would get a word in edgewise, “But I kept the two of us up, I was looking for something to put my, ah, contribution in.”

Yuzu's pretty face was scrunched as she frowned, “Contribution?”

Rukia simply held up the bag.

The happy light shining from Yuzu's eyes could have rivaled the plastic reindeer on the roof.

“Oh! Thank you Rukia!” She squealed as she accepted the bag, “But you know you didn't have to bring anything. We have everything already set up! Oh, I can't wait for you to try my ham, I made a different recipe this year than I usually do so I'm not sure how it turned out—”

“I'm sure it's perfect Yuzu,” Ichigo cut in quickly, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “But if you don't mind we'd like to get inside right now. It's twelve below out here.”

Yuzu's mouth dropped and she quickly stepped aside, “I'm so sorry Ichigo. I didn't mean to—”

“It's alright Yuzu,” he said, eager to stop the endless flow of guilt that was now coming from his sister. Sometimes the girl could act like some sort of emotion faucet. “We were just cold is all.”

“Yes Yuzu,” Rukia reassured happily, “Everything's fine. Don't worry about it.”

Ichigo had just gotten the door closed behind them when a crash resonated from the kitchen. Beside him, Rukia jumped and pressed a small hand over her heart. Yuzu, who had not so much as flinched, furrowed her brow and rushed into the kitchen, muttering something along the lines of `Dad had better not make the potatoes red.' Meanwhile Ichigo, who was far too used to occurrences like this, simply sighed and wondered how much blood was now oozing from his father's body.

“You alright Dad?” He boorishly called into the kitchen, not truly worried at all. He was, instead, staring at Rukia, his attention rather voraciously focused on her. Well, her and her tiny feet anyway. Damn she looked good in stilettos. What with that strappy little buckle and the crisscrossing black leather. He could have whistled. Throw in a thong and a pair of handcuffs and they'd be good to go.

“Did I hear the sweet, dulcet, tones of my future daughter-in-law?” A weak shriek echoed from the other side of the house.

“If by that you mean is my business partner here to have a cordial family dinner with us?” Ichigo snapped back, “Then yes.” He turned to Rukia and sighed in exasperation. “Here, let me get your coat.”

“I can get it myself,” she growled but he ignored her. Grinning smugly he came to stand in front of her, his body only inches away, and casually began to slide her coat off of her shoulders, making sure that his thumbs came into contact with her delicate skin as he stripped it away.

He saw her shiver slightly and his grin widened as he took another half-step forward. Now his breath was caressing the side of her neck. He could see the goose-bumps that were currently coating her ivory flesh. He grinned, a few more inches downward and he'd be able to feel that beautiful neck under his rather hungry mouth.

Yet instead he sighed, and, going against his rather insistent sexual judgment, he pulled himself to the side and gently brought the coat off of her limp arms. He brought it to a closet and placed it on a hanger before shutting the door.

He smirked as he turned to Rukia. His eyes went to her flushed face and down to her reddening neck. His lips pulled further back when he noticed the two delicate protrusions in the frontal area of her dress.

“Disregarding bras today, are we my dear?” He murmured smugly into her ear.

He delighted in listening to her gasp as she took a quick glance down and instantly brought her arms up to cross over her chest. Her glare shot daggers into his eyes as she took two quick steps forward.

“I'll have you know that you're going first with the handcuffs.”

He chuckled lightly, “Says the woman who's two feet shorter than me and one hundred pounds lighter than me.” He shook his head smugly. “I don't think so.” He reached out and ruffled her silky hair for a moment before her hand slapped him away.

“Oh don't worry,” she snapped back smartly, patting her hair back down in the process. “The handcuffs were only part of the deal I got at the store.”

He raised an eyebrow but didn't remove the smug expression from his face, “What was the other half?”

This time it was Rukia who grinned. Only hers wasn't teasing… it was wicked. “A taser. Twenty thousand volts, I might add. On sale for half price when I bought it with the handcuffs.”

She took two steps towards him and slowly rose on her tip toes. Her deliciously red mouth was right next to his ear as she whispered, “You'd be surprised what you can find in sex stores these days.”

With that she turned towards the kitchen with hot and lusty steps, her hips swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Ichigo was left rooted in his spot, staring after her. Images of his body being zapped with a taser while Rukia stood mercilessly over him… he shuddered. While it was erotic in a twisted way he wouldn't want to be that powerless when it came to the bedroom.

“Fuck,” he muttered, following her persistently swinging hips into the kitchen. “She better be joking about that having that taser.”

It was then that he noticed Rukia had paused on her way into the living room. He frowned a bit and immediately followed after her, his senses practically milking her aura from the air. He turned the corner and found her standing in the part of the living room that almost directly connected with the kitchen. He frowned and came in as well, wondering what she was…

Oh.

Rukia's eyes were wide as she stared in awe at the poster of the woman whose smile lit up the entire room. Her perfect mouth was parted slightly and she seemed to blinking as little as possible.

He stepped into the room and came up behind her, his body only a few inches from her back. He knew she must have felt him but at the moment she didn't seem to be paying attention to anything but the poster.

“So…” Ichigo muttered, leaning against the wall. “Rukia, I'd like you to meet the two dimensional representation of my mother.”

She turned her face towards him and her eyes lit up with something akin to amusement. Traces of sadness, however, could also be detected. “She's beautiful.” She breathed, her voice adequately expressing her awe.

“Yeah,” Ichigo nodded, “A real knockout. My dad always like to tell us that he had to beat away twenty suitors a day to keep her to himself.”

A ghost of a shadow showed up on her lips. “I don't doubt it.”

“Sooner or later you'll see my dad fawn over her,” Ichigo said, “Or… well, just this poster. He still talks to her… it.”

She turned to him and her smile widened. “I think I'd like to see that.”

“You will,” Ichigo assured her. He indicated towards the kitchen and she shrugged. Her hips resumed their sensual swinging and her heels resumed making music on the ground.

His heavy steps soon brought him to the kitchen and he raised an exasperated eyebrow as soon as he saw what was going on.

“Dad… how do you always manage to nick an artery?”

“It's a gift,” Isshin said, attending to his own wound while Yuzu worriedly hovered around him. Ichigo's eyes flickered to the side and he spied Karin watching the spectacle with a look of grim amusement.

“Have no fear though,” he drowsily half-shouted, “I'll be back to normal in three minutes flat!”

“Are you sure Daddy?” Yuzu asked, using a sponge to wipe away some of the blood that had splattered onto the counter. Ichigo sent a sideways look to Rukia and wondered if she'd have enough of an appetite after seeing all of this gore. His mind flew back to the day in the hospital when she had seen Dr. Unohana covered in her brother's blood. He half-shuddered at the thought. That, most definitely, had not been one of the best days of her life. Or his, for that matter. He just hoped that by now she'd overcome her aversion to blood. One saw it a lot around his family.

He sighed and maneuvered around the counters in the kitchen towards the dining table. “Hey Karin,” he muttered, “How's life?”

“Peachy,” she replied dryly, “Just rainbows, sunshine, unicorns, and lots of little bunnies.”

Rukia's head shot towards them at the word `bunnies.' Ichigo had to fight back a smile.

“I thought as much.”

Karin rolled her eyes and continued to watch Isshin do whatever the hell he was doing to stop the bleeding. Ichigo peered over to the side and blearily wondered if his father was actually sewing himself up. He inwardly gagged and hoped that Rukia wasn't seeing any of this.

Instead, he turned to the table and fought not to gape as he witness the mountains of food his sister had prepared for their holiday feast. Damn, when did she have the time to cook all of this? Hams—yes, plural—mashed potatoes, rolls, sweet potatoes, green beans, peas, casseroles, broccoli, and several other dishes he couldn't name were all stuffed onto the tiny table.

“Holy crap Yuzu,” he muttered, scratching the back of his head with exasperation, “Think you made enough?”

“You know that Dad likes to go into a food coma at holiday meals,” Karin answered for her sister, she turned to Rukia and delivered a wry smile, “And when I mean food coma I actually mean coma. He's done it four times already and keeps boasting about a number five.”

“Is that safe?” Rukia asked warily.

“Of course not,” Ichigo said, coming to stand next to her. His arm brushed up against hers and he had to remind himself not to get too close. Although he would have liked to wrap his arm around her waist—for some reason—he knew that he couldn't do it with his entire family watching. He simply shrugged and turned to her, a small grin on his face, “But the old man still does it. I think he wants to make a world record.”

“At least he's goal oriented,” Rukia observed auspiciously.

“Yes! I am very goal oriented little Rukia,” Isshin screamed, jumping away from the kitchen sink with feverish gusto. He rounded the island and, not two seconds later, enveloped Rukia in one of the most suffocating bear hugs known to man… or beast.

“Dad,” Yuzu chirped worriedly, “You're killing her.”

A delicate wheeze of agreement came from Rukia.

Isshin jumped back only a second later and happily spun Rukia until she was standing at arms length from him. Ichigo warily looked to make sure her body hadn't been deprived of too much oxygen and made a mental note to injure his father later today.

“Oh Rukia,” Isshin crooned, tears glistening in his eyes, “You get more and more beautiful every time I see you.” He dashed a tear away and brought it back to Rukia.

Ichigo's eyes bulged out of his head when he saw that his father's appendage, instead of going back to her shoulder like he had assumed, planted itself directly onto her lower abdomen.

“And how are my little grandchildren doing?” He happily asked her stomach.

Ichigo's fist was prepped and ready for action the second the last word left his father's mouth. He had almost cocked it back when Isshin's face became devoid of the same smile it had sported only moments ago. His hands flew away from Rukia and he howled in agony while he desperately tried to clutch his throbbing… shin?

Ichigo watched in amazement as Rukia took a step back and crossed her arms angrily over her chest, “You brought that upon yourself, Mr. Kurosaki. I didn't want to kick you—especially since these are Jimmy Choo's—but I'd rather not have you molesting me about children I am not going to have with your son.”

Silence fell over the kitchen. Isshin was groaning from a crouched position on the floor, Karin was listlessly sipping her water, Yuzu was standing next to the stove with a steaming bowl of gravy in her hands, and Ichigo was frozen next to Rukia, his fist still raised and ready to strike.

It was Karin who broke the dimming silence first. Slowly, her hands rose and she clapped them together. A dry smile broke out over her face as she applauded the woman standing in the center of her kitchen. “Bravo Rukia, nice to see you have some balls when it comes to the old man.”

Rukia smirked at her, “I'll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” Yuzu chipped in cheerfully, “Most people just ignore Dad and let him walk all over them. They think he's got mental problems to they just brush it off. I'm glad you've learned when to stand up to him.” She grinned at her brother, “Ichigo only started fending him off when he was in middle school.”

“Please,” Ichigo grunted, lowering his arm, “I was beating that fool up when I was still in the womb.”

Karin chortled, “Yeah right, I remember when—”

The sound of sniffling broke through their moment of peace and everyone in the room quickly looked downward. Isshin was still crouched, still holding his knee, and—for some reason—crying.

Rukia was the first to react.

“Mr. Kurosaki,” she gasped, quickly bringing herself down to his level and attempting to see into his face, horror written into her own. “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to kick you that hard. I actually thought I was rather gentle, I kick Ichigo a lot harder than I kicked you and he always seems fine afterwards—”

“Oh yes, except for my bruised bone marrow I'm perfectly fine.”

“I really didn't mean to strike you that hard I was just—”

“Rukia!” Isshin screamed joyously, launching himself at her with the strength of a charging bull. She let out a strangled shout as her body connected with the tiled floors of the kitchen. Ichigo shouted at his Dad to let her go but Isshin just hugged the tiny woman tighter and tighter.

“Oh Rukia! Of course I forgive you! You really are the perfect woman for my son! He deserves a thrashing now and again for all the stupid things he does and you're the best woman to give it to him. I'm so happy! You two are such a cute—hey! I wasn't finished!”

“Karin, hold him back,” Ichigo barked after he flung his father off of a still-stunned Rukia.

“On it,” she replied, going forward and putting her own father into a headlock.

Ichigo immediately reached down to grab both of Rukia's arms. She blinked a few times as he pulled her upwards and into the safe nest of his arms.

“You're not hurt are you?” He demanded, looking straight into her dazed eyes. His hand went to the back of her head and started looking for any unusual bumps. His father had been pretty forceful when he had knocked Rukia back. Who knew if the jerk had given her a goose-egg? Ichigo's temper flared as Rukia's eyes flickered around the room and began to go hazy.

“He didn't give you a concussion, did he?” He nearly shouted, both of his hands now going to Rukia's shoulders and shaking her as hard as he could. “Rukia! Don't go to sleep! Stay conscious!”

Her eyes snapped up to his and she glowered viciously. Her hand came up and pelted Ichigo on the side of the head. “I do not have a concussion you dolt!” She snapped, “Now stop molesting me, I'm perfectly fine. Just a bit surprised is all.”

“Rukia,” his father keened again, “You are absolutely the perfect woman for my son. Please, can I ask you to marry him in his place?”

“Shut up!” This time it was Ichigo's foot that made contact with Isshin's face. Karin dodged artfully while the man in her arms fell unconscious.

Ichigo fumed silently and belatedly realized that he was still holding onto Rukia's arms. He dropped them after a moment and gave her another shrewd once-over. Aside from a few pieces of hair askew and a bit of dust on her dress she looked absolutely… perfect.

From behind them all Yuzu sighed, “Why can't we ever have a normal holiday dinner?”

*~*~*

Rukia slowly moved up the steps of the Kurosaki household and listened to the chatter down below. A small smile formed on her face as she heard Ichigo and his father arguing over the latest neighborhood gossip. Something about a former schoolmate of his going off and marrying a prince of some foreign country.

Rukia rolled her eyes and continued on. Isshin had told her that the bathroom on the upstairs floor was the one that contained the stain remover for the small spot of sauce she had managed to procure for her dress.

Her heels clicked on the hallway floors as she moved downward. All of the doors were closed so she peered into them one by one. The first room in which she looked contained two twin beds, two dressers, and a standing mirror a bit larger than herself. She guessed this was the twin's old room. She smiled when she saw that over one bed, posters of soccer stars and other sports littered the walls, while over the other bed, there were pictures of Paula Dean, Rachel Ray, and Julia Child, along with several recipes no doubt foraged from magazines.

Quietly, she shut the door and kept moving. The second room was large and had only one bed inside of it. Judging from the smell and the numerous medical journals sitting on the nightstand Rukia surmised that Isshin slept here.

She shut the door and walked across the hall. The next door that she opened was, indeed, the bathroom. Sighing in relief, she quickly located the stain remover and applied a bit to her black dress. It vanished quickly and she smiled happily.

Curiosity, however, brought her to the next door. The one that had the number fifteen dangling from a peg on the outside. She stopped and briefly told herself that she had no right, that she had already found the bathroom and that there was no need to go snooping around.

She stood outside the door, her hand on the knob.

Oh screw it.

She pushed the door open and stepped inside, not bothering to turn on the light. She continued walking until she was in the very center of a small room—smaller than the twin's room but just large enough for a teenage boy. There was one bed wedged into the corner, just underneath of a small window, as well as a closet, a desk, and a shelf on which a few books sat.

Rukia smiled as she moved slowly over to the window. She looked outside and saw that it was snowing once again.

“Snow on Christmas,” she mused, turning and walking towards his desk.

Being here, in the place where Ichigo had grown up, where he had lived every day until college, the place where he had fought with his family, laughed, cried, hugged his mother… it made her heart swell.

She sighed and ran a hand over his desk. When her fingers came back they were coated in a bit of dust but she didn't mind. She knew it had been a long time since he had last been here. No doubt because he knew that if he returned he would be in the clutches of his crazy father.

Rukia smiled and placed both hands on the back of the chair. It was nice to be here. The food had been delicious, of course, but then again, she could expect nothing less from Yuzu Kurosaki. The conversation had been wildly unpredictable—hell, even Karin had participated a bit. Her champagne had been passed around and consumed. Everyone had laughed, conversed, and made her feel…

They made her feel like she was part of the family.

A blush stained her cheeks when she thought about it. She like the Kurosaki's… a lot, but she wasn't about to go insisting that she be called a part of their family. Not when she had such a precarious situation going with Ichigo.

She sighed and bit her bottom lip. Besides… it's not like she actually wanted to be part of the family. She just liked the sex.

She sighed again, this time in aggravation, and pressed a hand to her forehead. “I swear,” she groaned, “Lying to myself is an annoying habit.”

“And talking to yourself?” A voice demanded from the doorway. “Is that any better?”

Rukia whipped her head to the side and gasped as Ichigo detached himself from the doorframe and strode confidently into his old room.

“Ichigo,” she breathed, thankful for the darkness should her face be lighting up in a blush again, “What are you doing up here?”

“Hiding,” he stated plainly, circling around her and going towards his old bed. She followed him with her eyes and watched as he made his way to his window. “Dad's busy telling the twins about some riveting new musical called My Spleen and Me. Songs included. He shouldn't be done anytime soon.”

“How exciting,” Rukia murmured sarcastically, turning so her back was pressed against the chair. Ichigo was still at the window.

“Not really,” he grunted and turned, “So… what are you doing here? I mean, it's my old room, after all.”

“Don't know what you mean,” Rukia responded in point three seconds flat. She raised her chin in fake haughtiness and fought to keep a smile away from her face.

“Really?” Ichigo demanded, a soft smirk in his voice. He took a few steps towards her until he was standing only three inches from her warm body. His hand rose and ran down the length of her arm. “You have no idea?”

Rukia fought to keep her breathing steady, “N-none at all.” She whispered, cursing herself for stuttering.

Ichigo leaned down until his hot breath was fanning her face, her eyes fluttered shut—as if on their own accord—and she parted her lips for what she knew was going to happen next.

But instead of kissing her mouth, Ichigo's lips rose to her closed eyes, where he gently pressed butterfly kisses against her loose lids. “Are you sure?” He breathed, his breath now making her eyelashes murmur against her skin.

Rukia groaned, “Stop teasing,” she whispered, her arms slowly reaching around his waist.

He chuckled low in his throat. “I'm glad you want this too.”

Rukia's eyes opened and she blinked into the grinning face of Ichigo Kurosaki. His eyes held a wicked gleam that she knew could only mean trouble. Yet instead of fighting him—as her conscience would have dictated since she clearly knew his family was downstairs and probably wondering where they were—she brought her arms around his neck and raised an eyebrow.

“You have a time limit, Kurosaki. Think you're up for the challenge?” The slow, simmering, seductiveness had left her voice, leaving only quick, heady, desire in her tone. She knew that there would be more time for seduction later. Right now they had to make do with what they had.

“I'm up for anything Kuchiki,” he grinned, pressing his pelvis into hers in order to emphasize his point.

Rukia gasped at his enormity and swallowed. Her skin was tingling and her breasts were tightening on their own accord. “What are you waiting for?” She gasped yearningly, rubbing her leg down the length of his.

No sooner did the words leave her mouth than did Ichigo hoist her up into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist obediently and she hurriedly began kissing his neck as he pushed the bedroom door shut and pressed her up against it.

His tongue forcefully invaded her mouth, prying her lips apart in a desperate search to taste her. Rukia surged back, her own lips urging against his, her teeth scraping their firm softness, and her own tongue fighting with his.

Oh if his father could see us now.

Rukia's breasts ached beneath the fabric of her dress and she desperately brought one of her hands down from Ichigo's neck to find his. She quickly located his strong fingers. They were groping the softness of her hips and were also helping her to stay pressed against the wall. She tugged them upwards, insisting that he touch what she needed to be touched.

Ichigo's hand quickly began groping her breast. He teased the nipple through the fabric and circled the soft mound with his entire palm while his mouth continually battled with hers.

Rukia muffled her own moan of pleasure when she felt Ichigo's other hand leave her waist—she was now being supported by only his weight and her own hands—and slip underneath her dress. His fingers found the small of her back and traced themselves hungrily over the scrap of lace that constituted her underwear.

Ichigo ripped his mouth from hers and grinned, “Thong?”

Rukia panted hotly, “Special occasion.” She leaned forward and once again they were fused at the mouth.

His fingers continued to tease her. His first hand had left her breast, and while Rukia bemoaned the loss silently, she said nothing of it for fear that he'd stop what he was doing with his other hand.

Rukia's toes curled in her Jimmy Choo's as Ichigo's finger slowly traced the thin line of lace that was her underwear through her cheeks and down to the throbbing, wet spot between her legs.

“Shit,” she breathed, doing the best she could to keep as quiet as possible.

“Rukia,” he groaned, pressing kiss after kiss to her neck. “If we had time I'd fuck you so hard with my fingers you'd come again and again and again.”

Shivers raced up Rukia's spine at such talk and she shuddered momentarily.

“Later,” she promised in a few succinct pants, “Later… you can do what you want to me. I promise.”

She felt him grin against her neck and before she could say anything else, she felt him pull the front of her thong aside, and slide the head of his throbbing cock against the folds of her sex.

“Yes, Ichigo,” she hissed, her toes curling even more at the delicious feeling Ichigo was eliciting. “Yes…”

He jerked once and was sheathed inside of her. It took all of Rukia's power not to scream at the contact so instead she clamped her teeth down on the exposed skin of Ichigo's collar. He grunted and pulled out of her only slightly before pounding back into her.

Rukia nearly choked at the feeling. Normally, Ichigo like to have things rhythmic. Fast and hard, but still rhythmic. It allowed him to last longer inside of her before they both came to a screaming halt.

But now, with only moments to spare before his family began wondering where they were, Ichigo's thrusts were erratic, barbaric, and wild. Rukia moaned at the deep and penetrating feeling of him, sliding effortlessly in and out of her. The hard, relentless pushes and the frantic, withdrawn pulls. They made her wetter than a raging storm.

“Ichi—” she choked as the muscles inside of her body clamped down on him, throwing her into an orgasm of such intensity that her head was thrown back involuntarily. In front of her, she heard Ichigo groan hotly and instantly, she felt her insides become coated with him.

“Ah,” he panted, holding her hips in place with his hands and pressing kisses to the hollow of her throat. “Damn.”

“Yeah,” Rukia managed to get out, “… D-damn.”

He groaned and leaned until all of his body was pressing against hers. Rukia's legs tightened around his waist so she wouldn't fall and her arms encircled his back. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she sighed in happiness.

“That was one fucking nice quickie,” she managed to say when her breathing had recovered.

“I'll say.” He muttered, his member still twitching inside of her.

Rukia grinned and pressed a kiss to his ear. “Come on, we need to get cleaned up.” She shifted and fought back a moan when Ichigo's cock massaged her insides once again.

“Yeah…” he muttered and in one swift move, he pulled out of her. He was about to release her when he looked up and smirked, “Your legs okay?”

She whacked him on the shoulder and glowered. “They're fine. Moron.”

“Alright,” he shrugged and released her immediately. Rukia fell down and instantly felt her legs wobble. She didn't fall though. She knew that if she fell she'd have Ichigo's snickering face to deal with. Her pride didn't want to take that.

As she looked over, Ichigo was busy zipping himself up and covering the spot she had bitten with his shirt. Rukia quickly went over to his dresser and fixed her hair as best she could. Her lips... she sighed, there was nothing she could really do about those. At least they weren't bitten. What would have been her excuse then? Um, excuse me, I cut myself shaving in your bathroom?

Yeah right.

“Oh… fuck.”

Rukia looked over at Ichigo and blinked, the insides of her legs still squirming at the sight of him. She frowned and cocked her head to the side. “What is it?”

Instead of answering her outright, his hand pointed to the spot above his door. Rukia turned and furrowed her brow in confusion. Her eyes followed the frame upwards and, once she saw what Ichigo was pointing to, a feeling of dread washed in the pit of her stomach.

“Damn Dad…” Ichigo cursed.

Hanging on the top of Ichigo's door frame was a single branch of mistletoe.

*~*~*

“I have something for you,” Rukia whispered, her naked body languidly sliding up the length of his.

“Does it involve those handcuffs we discussed?” Ichigo asked, his legs twisting in Rukia's silk sheets.

“Close, but no cigar,” she pressed a kiss to his lips and slowly crept off of his hard form.

Ichigo groaned and threw his arm over his eyes. “Come on, you told me when we were in my room. You said, and I quote, `Later you can do what you want to me. I promise.' Remember?”

“Don't worry,” she sighed from her paused stance beside the bed, “We still have all night to get to that.”

He threw his arm off of his face and groaned as she moved. But he certainly didn't protest the way she swung her hips as she walked—completely nude—around her room. She opened her closet and pulled out a large rectangular package, wrapped in red paper with a silver bow gracing the top.

Ichigo felt a smile creeping up on his face as she came back to the bed.

“As long as you're up,” he said conversationally, “Would you mind getting the bag that's inside of my coat?”

Rukia lifted an eyebrow and smiled beatifically, “So that's what you were hiding when we got out of your Benz.”

“That's the one.”

She sauntered over to the other side of the room and quickly retrieved the hidden bag. With both gifts in her hands she came back to the bed and tossed the monstrosity to Ichigo. Had he not caught it the damn thing probably would have broken a few of his ribs. Needless to say, a small `oof' escaped him the moment it fell into his arms.

“Jesus woman,” he muttered, “What the hell is this?”

She glared at him in exasperation, “Open it and find out.”

“Not until you open yours,” he replied as he watched Rukia's fingers toy with the tissue paper sticking out of her gift.

“Nope, you first.” She shook her head and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

“Same time,” he insisted and this time it was Rukia who rolled her eyes.

“Fine,” she held the bag at the ready, “Go.”

Ichigo nodded and slowly ripped away the red wrapping paper that surrounded his gift. Silently, he thanked God that Rukia had gotten him something as well. He hadn't wanted to look like some sap by showing up and giving her a gift if she didn't have one to give to him.

He peeked at her as she slowly took away the tissue paper from her bag. He hoped she liked what he got her. After all, he had seen it inside of a store window about three weeks back and knew, on the spot, that she needed to have it. However the fact that it was a collectable and had cost him a small fortune—although the saleslady had assured him that it would be worth much more in time—had little to do with his decision to buy it.

Ichigo peeled away the rest of his wrapping the very moment Rukia discovered what was underneath all of the tissue paper he had so expertly shoved inside of a bag.

“The Complete Works of William Shakespeare,” Ichigo breathed, his hands slid over the leather-bound cover and traced the embossed golden letters. He swallowed heavily as he turned the book to view its spine. The moment he did he felt his eyes bugging out of his head, “First edition… this must have… how did you…?”

“Chappy the Rabbit, Beach Bunny Collectible,” Rukia gasped hoarsely, “It's still in the box… never opened… but they only made ten thousand of these worldwide… this must have… where… how…?”

The two of them raised their heads at the same time, jaws open, eyes wide.

“Thank you,” Rukia breathed.

“No… thank you,” Ichigo reciprocated in an equally hoarse tone. “But how… I love Shakespeare, how did you…?”

“There are books… scattered all over your apartment,” Rukia rasped, her hands trying not to clench the Chappy box too tightly, “Torn, ripped, well-used… I just thought… h-how did you…?”

“You're obsessed,” he wheezed meaningfully, “I saw it and I knew… the Chappy mug comment, remember?”

The two sat on the bed, completely naked, breathing heavily, and clutching their gifts as though they were lifelines.

Ever so slowly, Rukia got up from the bed and moved to her dresser. The Chappy Beach Bunny safely locked in her hands. Ichigo watched as she placed the stuffed animal on the top of her dresser and arranged it so that the back of the box was facing them.

Ichigo frowned deeply when she turned to look at him, his book still clutched in his hands. Rukia took one look at him, strode forward, and put her hands on the book as well.

“What,” he asked quietly, his chest tightening as he spoke. “Don't you… like it?”

“I love it, Ichigo,” she whispered, jerking the book from his hands and instantly putting it on the side table, “But Chappy definitely does not need to see what I'm about to do to you right now.”

With that said she pushed Ichigo Kurosaki onto his back and attacked him, pulling out the handcuffs as she went.

For the next several hours William Shakespeare lay forgotten on the side table and Chappy the Rabbit, Beach Bunny special edition collectable, had to endure all of the screams, moans, groans, and pants that came through the plastic wrappings of his never-opened box.

(A/N: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! Ah… a Catholic holiday to celebrate a martyred saint turned into a commercial festival where men and women alike spend hundreds of dollars on declarations of “love.” On the bright side, I have been enjoying the rather copious amount of IchiRuki Valentines' Day fics that are out there. :D

I have a message for Jennyenny Dots. I received your PM but only actually remembered it a few days ago. *Scratches back of head sheepishly* I want to answer your questions but your email did not show up on the PM. Please, try and send it again but not in hyperlink form. Spell out the `dot' and stuff. Then it'll show up.

Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter! Thank you for all of the reviews I've received so far! SQUEE!

PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!)