Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Overpowered and Overwhelmed ❯ Remember The Real World ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Tite Kubo owns Bleach.  I just borrowed the characters.  I make no money from this work.

Ichigo was staring out the school window.  Why did he feel something was wrong; there was something absent from the world, which he needed more than shelter?  Okay, that was a silly thing to think.  Humans were driven by basic needs: Food, Water, Air, Shelter, Clothing, all the needs listed by Maslow, but the primary needs were those which sustained life.  

What could be more important to him than the basic elements which would sustain his life, though most of the time he didn't think about them?  His father supplied the food, water, shelter and clothing along with the annoyance of his presence and the regular 'unexpected' attacks.  He knew his family loved him and he had friends and their respect.  Attacks from those who wished to prove their bravery from fighting him were less frequent.  Constant study meant his grades were good.  Aside from the normal teenage angst and worries, life was good.  Sometimes he wished his father would remarry so his attention might be distracted, but knew his father still mourned his mother, despite the passing years.  One day he might move on and look to form another relationship but until them, Ichigo had to put up with the exuberance and ill placed questions.  

In addition, he had the occasional interruptions caused by incursions of the Hollows into the world.  Being a Substitute Shinigami broke the tedium of being a teenager in High School.

What was he missing?  What was gone from his world?

He tried thinking hard, also wondering why he felt there was something left unfinished.  Something important to him, and possibly the world but for some reason it was no longer urgent, or had changed.

Shrugging, he hated to admit he felt as if his skin didn't fit him correctly.  It felt too lose around his ribs and too tight around his arms.  Things he saw didn't look quite as he remembered them and his hands didn't look like his own.  A strange taste existed at the back of his throat and he had trouble remembering the status of his inner Hollow.  Did it really exist, had he imagined it, or subdued it or what?  All the time he'd hated the Hollow for being there, reminding him he was imperfect and not much better than the creatures he fought.  His memory of the Hollow was faulty and he was almost convinced it had all been a dream that had taken over when he'd had the powers stripped from his.  
No Shinigami could have Hollow powers.  The two were mutually exclusive and the dream fragments he could remember of the Hollow shocked him.  At the same time, he almost missed it.

No, he refused to admit missing that warped entity.

He almost missed the dreamt additional strength if provided when he was fighting but hated having to balance the internal battles with his Hollow with the external battles he's had.  He gritted his teeth slightly as he recalled the fight he'd had with Kuchiki, but then his memory shifted.  What had that fight been about?  Something to do with taking Rukia's powers illegally but that hadn't caused a real problem.  She'd been taken back to Soul Society in disgrace by her brother and his assistant captain but it only ended in a demotion.  He hadn't been fighting with an inner Hollow.  Again, that was a dream.

Why did he think she was under threat for something?

He felt really uneasy.  He'd gone to Soul Society with Chad and Ishida and they'd run into some fun and tough opponents while they tried to find out if Rukia was still alive, but even the memory seemed skewed.  Was it only Ishida and Chad?  Why was he thinking there was someone else?

A girl.  A girl with long, red hair.

The memory of the long red hair made him smile, as did the thought of the girl.  For some reason the bad taste went from his mouth to be replaced by the strange combination of sweet cake spread with some salty black substance.  It almost made him gag but feel a sense of peace and loss.

Who was the girl?  Trying to visualise her face all he could recall was large eyes that looked at him with affection and longing but seemed to be shining with unshed tears.  Who was she?  Fragments of incidents flickered through him mind, none of them complete or in chronological order.  A shirt with a bunny on it, the taste of ice cream, strange cards; a place that was dark and cold with lots of sand and threats.

Nothing made sense.

A feeling of danger from a type of Hollow he'd never seen before.  Nothing like the Menos Grande or the other Hollows he'd faced in this world.  A strange Hollow which almost looked like a child.

Was there anything stronger than a Hollow?  

He shut his eyes as dizziness overwhelmed him.  These were not his memories.  Nothing like that had happened.  He'd imagined it.

As he'd imagined the evil Shinigami traitor.  Thinking about his time in Soul Society, he couldn't recall anyone who looked like the man he'd thought he'd seen.  No Captain wore those thick-rimmed black spectacles, or none he remembered.

Urahara was here simply because he'd eloped, sort of, with Yoruichi who was tired of being a Captain and having to obey rules instead of having fun.  There was nothing more sinister than that.  Tessai occasionally visited but he was still the Master of Kido.

Was he going crazy, or was it part of another growth spurt or an additional injection of hormones which affected him in this unexpected manner.

An image of a shadowy figure briefly crossed his consciousness and some warning or threat of losing something, but he couldn't remember what or when.  

"Ichigooooooooo," the annoying voice said seconds before he dodged the unwelcome embrace of Keigo.  "What you thinking about?  Is it girls?" Keigo continued, as soon as he pried his face away from the wall from which Ichigo had shoved him.

"I've told you before, don't touch me.  People will think we're gay," Ichigo said through gritted teeth.  

"I'd be gay for you, Ichigo," Keigo said, fluttering his eyelashes and clasping his hands in front of him.  "If you really wanted me to, I'd do..."

"Shut up, baka.  I like girls, not guys and if I did like guys you'd be the last one I'd want anything to do with," Ichigo growled.  He hated how this 'friend' never seemed to get the hint.  He'd tried hinting, telling him outright, explaining in fine detail, yelling, hitting him but nothing seemed to get through.  Keigo believed whatever Keigo thought was correct, no matter how wrong it was.  

The thought that anyone might think of them as a couple made Ichigo feel sick and enraged at the same time.  He hated it when another male touched him, especially Keigo whose hands always seemed too damp and too hot.  Maybe he was gay, but Ichigo was not and had no desire to explore a relationship with a male.  He liked girls, especially girls with long red hair and large eyes.

"You mean you prefer Chad to me?" Keigo persisted.

Rolling his eyes Ichigo pushed the too eager Keigo away.  "As a friend, definitely.  He doesn't try to touch me or make comments about my sexuality.  Keigo, get a boyfriend and leave me alone!"

Keigo looked wounded at the comment.  "I like girls too but I'll make an exception for you, Ichigo.  We can..."

"I AM NOT A GIRL AND I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU!" Ichigo yelled, exasperated.  Yelling never worked in the past but his irritation level was so high and he wanted Keigo to leave him alone so his anger dictated yelling as one form of making his displeasure known.

The loud murmur in the classroom hushed as everyone turned to look.  There was silence for seconds and then some giggles as people huddled together to talk about this latest piece of trivia. A few glances were directed at him and more giggle ensued.  Ichigo turned away, his face flushing with embarrassment and anger.  As his ears turned red and began to burn, he knew he was moments away from inflicting severe damage on his surroundings or Keigo.

"Get away from me, before I hurt you badly," he hissed.

Obediently the boy scurried to the other side of the classroom and Ichigo tried to take a deep breath.  If he could have some time without other people he might manage to calm down and remember the girl he couldn't remember.

"Proving once more how a Substitute Shinigami has less self control than a Quincy, Kurosaki?"

Of course, it would be Ishida.  The only point in his favour now was he wasn't as annoying as Keigo.  "I don't need any insightful comments from you, Ishida."

Ishida raised his eyebrow and looked disbelieving.  "You need something.  Maybe lessons in anger management.  The loud denial of your interest in Keigo will make people question your relationship with him even more."

A feeling a nausea swept over Ichigo but he decided the deny it. "I don't care what people think.  They think all I want to do is fight and hurt people, not protect others or myself from bullies.  I can't help having red hair.  Why do people pick on me because I'm different?"

"Teenagers conform.  It's what they do.  You don't conform, it's what you do, but you are also a teenager.  Forcing other people to conform makes other people comfortable as it reinforces the status quo.  You resist and make them uncomfortable," the Quincy explained with his usual blend of assumed patience and slight superiority.  "So do I," he added showing the slightest touch of unrest.

"Conforming is for losers," Ichigo said quickly.  "I don't have a normal life so why pretend?"

"You don't even try to conceal your differences. I make some small attempt."

"No.  You act patronising and like you're better than everyone else."

A short silence as each reflected on what the other said.

" Aren't they the same thing? I try to conceal my difference by conforming to an easily identifiable stereotype.   In most schools there is one person who reads, thinks deeply and looks down on the others of his age," Ishida said calmly, his face echoing his tone but Ichigo wasn't convinced.  He knew Ishida too well to accept his words as they were presented.  

"You sew," Ichigo said in sharp response, "therefore you don't conform."

Ishida bit his lip and then said, "It is simply a character quirk.  It provides a valuable character flaw which people can easily mock until they need my help.  You, however, do not fit the mould.  A troublemaker should be failing and not in the top 10 percent of the year.  You don't bully those who are weaker than you, and fight on the behalf of others.  Most of our classmates find you disquieting. A bully who fights to protect the weak from bullies is a character only found in fiction.  Or perhaps they think you protect them out of disdain and believe you are superior."

"Not superior.  Different."  He never felt superior.  How could anyone believe that?  His orange hair made him a target and people found it easy to mock so many aspects of his character.  

Ishida smiled slightly.  "To them it makes no difference.  Also, you befriended both Keigo and Mizuiro who are considered to be weaker than most.  You do not add up."

Ichigo turned around, surveyed his classmates and leant against the wall, wishing in some respects that he'd never offered friendship to Keigo.  Then he'd never have to cope with the guy's weird conversations.  "I'm not a maths problem.  You can't work people out through logic."

Ishida sighed as he turned around and looked at the classroom.  "People are not logical.  The teacher is late today."

As normal Ishida was trying to change the subject when Ichigo challenged his way of coping with reality.  By now, he was used to it.  Nodding Ichigo wondered if he should ask the Quincy if he felt there was something amiss in the world.  He would receive an honest, if verbose answer.

"Ishida, does something seem wrong to you?"

"Aside from you?" was the reply with a slight smile, and then he turned serious.  "For some reason I feel something is missing.  What it is, I have no idea.  Some of my memories seem to conflict with what I believe to have occurred but I cannot understand how that can be.  For some reason, I keep seeing strange cards and hearing whispered threats.  There is also a strange taste associated.  Sweet and something savoury, almost bitter. In many ways quite unpleasant."

Cards?  The word brought up a strange image which quickly vanished.  Cards, but what sort of cards?  They didn't seem like the cards used to play Duel Monsters or Vanguard or Duel Masters or any of the other card games with conflicting rules and regular rule changes.  Nor were they like ordinary playing cards.   He couldn't grasp what they were.  Something he wasn't in contact with on a regular basis.

The thought of cards made the sense of loss more acute.   "It was something important.  When we went to Soul Society to check Rukia was okay, who went with us?"

"Chad... Chad and someone, no... Chad, Yoruichi and someone.  Someone.  Who?  Yoruichi seemed to be there mostly for laughs.  I know she taught you bankai but I cannot remember the reason you had to learn it so fast."  The Quincy frowned; the light gleamed off the well-polished glass of his spectacles, hiding the expression in his eyes.

"Ichigo, everyone is talking about your wild affair with Keigo," a familiar voice broke through his thoughts.  "I thought you were saving yourself for me.  I am hurt and will return all your tokens of affection including the frog you gave me when we were six."

It seemed odd but Ichigo felt a flash of guilt at his friend's words mingled with disgust.  "He was being a pest, as usual.  You know me better than to believe stupid gossip, Tatsuki."

"I don't know.  It's pretty boring here, so gossip takes the place of excitement.  Did he really kiss you?" Tatsuki had a wicked smile on her face and he knew she was going to keep asking embarrassing questions.  

Ichigo felt his anger rise.  "No!  Why does everyone think the overly hormonal idiot is of any interest to me?  I can't stand it when he tries to touch me.  Every time he does I want to hold..," he paused, as he couldn't remember what he wanted to say.  Was it a name? "I want to... what am I saying?"

He knew he wanted to hold someone close, but whom?  Not members of his family.  Nor Rukia or Tatsuki.  Obviously none of the males of his acquaintance.  A girl.  But who was the girl?  

Ishida said coolly, "You seem to be good at holding a grudge."

In answer, Ichigo scowled and said, "Yes, like you don't hold a grudge against the Shinigami."

"I have cause.  The Shinigami have persecuted the Quincy's for..."

"Yes, you've told me over and over about the Shinigami and the Quincy's..."

"But you don't listen..."

"How many times do I have to listen to you rant..."

"Stop interrupting me..."

"Stop interrupting me..."

"Stop it.  Both of you.  You argue over things all the time but neither of you tries to see the other person's point of view." Tatsuki had her hands on her hips and glared at them.  Her humour at teasing Ichigo had obviously evaporated.

"I apologise, Tatsuki.  You are correct," Ishida said, looking at her in a way Ichigo was surprised to witness.  It was almost as if Ishida had some respect for her, and possibly liked her?  He must be imagining things.  All this thinking was hurting his brain.

A silence ensured as if they were waiting for Ichigo to apologise but he wasn't prepared to do so.  There was something more important on his mind and if he asked the question, the expectation for an apology might vanish.

"Is everyone here?" he asked Tatsuki and Ishida.  "Is every member of our class present?"

His friends glanced over the room.  "On this day it appears everyone is present, which in itself in unusual, except for the teacher." Ishida said.

Tatsuki bit her lip and hesitated.  "Are you sure?  I am positive there is someone missing but I can't think who it could be.  A girl or a boy?"

"Keigo ran out of the room, but we know he's here.  He's probably hanging out in the toilets trying to check out other guys..." his substitute Shinigami badge interrupted before he could pursue the point any further.  It made its usual loud noise, unable to be heard by the normal human ear.  "Tell the teacher I had to go to the toilet when she arrives," he yelled over his shoulder as he ran, Ishida following him closely.  "I don't need your help," he told the Quincy.

"You may not believe you need my help, but I believe you do," was the reply.  "I don't know why but the Hollows seem slightly different to how I remember.  For a while I thought they were stronger, more of a challenge but my recent foes have been easily dispatched."

Ichigo faltered for a moment.  More powerful Hollows?  It seemed correct but how could it be?  Some Hollows were slightly more powerful but overall the Hollows he encountered were rather easy to defeat.  The biggest problem was when there was a group of them and he needed to make certain that none escaped and none of them managed to attack him from behind.  

One other thing he felt like he remembered an emptiness inside which had now gone.  A dark secret that had once lived inside him, or maybe he'd dreamt it.  He was just a normal teenager who dealt with supernatural beings on a regular basis while trying to maintain his grades and keep his insane father from attacking him all the time.  What was so unusual about his life?

Something was definitely missing.  He felt a sense of acute loss from a few sources and he couldn't identify where this feeling originated.  As he transformed into a Shinigami and left the incredibly annoying Kon in control of his body, the feeling was more acute.  He felt weaker, as if a large portion of his powers had been removed by some means.  It reminded him of when he had Rukia's powers: something wasn't quite right.  

Arriving at the scene of the disturbance, he saw it was a minor Hollow, attempting to eat the soul of a businessman who wouldn't believe he was dead.  Ichigo recalled that earlier in the week he'd tried to convince the spirit he had died only to have the man tell him he was too young and ignorant to know what he was talking about.  Of course, he wasn't dead.  This was all a dream and he'd wake up soon and return to work, enjoying the benefits supplied by his employer.

With a little more effort than he believed necessary, Ichigo defeated the Hollow and without the consent of the spirit, sent it to Soul Society, explaining as he did, "If you don't go now, you'll attract  more Hollows and make more work for me."

"I don't want to be dead," the spirit said.

"I can't change that," Ichigo said with a little spurt of guilt.  Anytime a spirit said that it reminded him of the death of his mother, the grief her death had caused the family.  He knew she'd loved life and his family and her death from a virus hadn't been his fault.  It was no one's fault but he hadn't been there when she died and he'd never had the chance to say good-bye.

He wished he'd said good-bye to his mother and O...

O?  Who was O?  What was O?

Returning to school, it took more time than normal to convince Kon to leave the classroom and return to his 'normal' form.  For some reason the teacher still hadn't arrived and Kon had been ogling the female class members more than normal.  At least he'd stopped trying to touch them after Ichigo had explained to him, in detail and with considerable force, the consequences if he did that again.  As soon as they were out of the room, Kon turned to Ichigo and asked, "Are you gay?"

It was hard to believe he was hearing this again.  "Who told you that?"

Kon turned crimson and replied, "No one told me.  They're not stupid.  I heard them whispering you were gay and having sex with Keigo.  Is that why you don't like me looking at girls?  You never seemed gay to me before with all those magazines I found..."

Not wishing to repeat these words again, Ichigo saw there was no other way.  "I am not gay.  Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, but I like girls, women.  Not boys or men.  Keigo is a sad case who doesn't who what he is."

"I like Keigo," said Kon.  "He likes spying on girls... er, I, mean, he's funny."

An idea began forming in Ichigo's head.  It was one he didn't like but might explain some of the weird events recently.  "Kon, do you spend much time with Keigo when I'm busy?"

A small nod indicated he'd guessed correctly.  "He's easier to talk to than the rest of the class.  The girls walk away after I've talked to them for a few minutes saying I've gone weird again and then Keigo sort of walks up to me and starts chatting."

Smiling evilly, Ichigo asked Kon, "Do you let him hug you?  Are you gay?"

"What!  Me? Gay?  No!" then, Kon paused.  "Being gay would mean sex, right?"

Ichigo began to feel an imaginary discomfort in an area he didn't want to consider.  "Sex with a male."

"But it's still sex?"

"Kon, I think we need to have another talk," Ichigo said as he quickly pushed the mod soul out of his body and back into the plushie.  "Another talk where you will listen..."

"Another talk where you pound, hurt and insult me and tell me a whole new set of rules?" Kon asked with a note of fear in his voice.

"Keep away from Keigo," Ichigo said shortly.  

"Okay, okay.  I'll keep away from him," Kon said and then muttered something under his breath.  

Even though he knew the mod soul was probably planning something he decided to let it go, for now.  He had to get back to class before the teacher finally arrived.

"Ichigo, I didn't see Orihime anywhere.  Where is she?" Kon asked as soon as Ichigo was entering the classroom.

The name brought a flash of red hair, more auburn than red, large, kind eyes and an adoring expression that seemed to be focused on him and then the image left as quickly as it arrived and the memory of the name vanished with the image.

"Who?" he asked Kon, wishing for something more, a stronger memory that helped him make sense of the intense loss he experienced.

"Not who, Kurosaki.  I asked your reason for being absent from the class," his teacher said as she observed him entering the classroom.

"Um...," Ichigo said as he felt a sense of confusion and doom settle over him and all thoughts of questioning Kon further vanished from his mind as it scurried hard to find an excuse.  There was only one he could use and it galled him to use it once more.  "I had to go to the bathroom.  It must be something I ate," he mumbled as he tried to look inconspicuous while walking to his seat.  "You weren't here to ask."

"You must be eating many wrong things the number of times you absent yourself to go to the bathroom," the teacher replied, ignoring the comment regarding her absence.  "And your father is a doctor."

"Sorry," he muttered and slouched in his seat, trying to ignore all his fellow students looking at him as once more his face flushed.  He seemed to be the focus of attention today.  Why was this his destiny?  All he wanted to do was be allowed to live without attracting anyone's notice.  First Keigo, Kon and now this.  

For the rest of the day he kept quiet, unless asked questions and tried to concentrate on his studies.  At lunch, he kept away from everyone, headphones firmly clamped to his ears as he listened to the loudest music he had stored on his MP3 player and shut his eyes.  He didn't want to talk to anyone.  The accusations and questions he'd experienced today made him wish to be apart from people and as he couldn't leave school grounds without getting into further trouble he may as well make it very clear he didn't want to talk to anyone.

A nagging feeling he should talk to Kon about something kept arising but he put it aside until he could put it into action.  Kon could wait.  The mod soul had caused enough issues today and for the moment, the relative quiet of the classroom brought Ichigo a little peace.

As he walked home, by himself, he wondered why he had the feeling someone was following him.

Author's Note

It is hard to believe this chapter is finally complete.  As it was causing difficulty, bad jokes had to be included to make it easier to write.  Sorry but I felt like being silly.

Due to recent revelations in the manga, some of the original ideas for this chapter had to be thrown out and replaced with no real help from my annoying muse who is insisting I concentrate on my original fiction.

There will be 9 chapters in total for Overpowered and Overwhelmed to match the 9 chapters of Orihime's Groundhog Day and then this saga should be complete.

Please review.

MS