Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Seer ❯ She Who Struggles ( Chapter 5 )

Seer

She Who Struggles

The next few days went by in a flash. I spent my nights in my room at the barracks and my days between the Kuchiki Manor with Rukia, and somewhere in the outdoors trying to talk to my zanpakuto. On the day of the festival, I spent all morning at the Ise Clan's compound getting dressed for the evening. My sister greeted me when I first arrived, but she had been on her way out so I only saw her for a few minutes before I was swallowed up by attendants. Once they finished their fussing, I hid from the world in my room until it was time for me to emerge.

Freshly scrubbed down with oils and perfumes, I had been forced to wait for hours as my hair and makeup were done. Getting dressed had only taken about thirty minutes, but now I could barely move. It was a really good thing I wasn't going to be playing something that required a lot of movement, or I'd have been in trouble. I couldn't even carry my zanpakuto in this outfit, so I was going to be leaving her in my room for the evening.

Turning to the full-length mirror, I took in my appearance. Unlike my normal chignon that rested at the base of my hairline, the stylist had done my hair up, the chignon placed almost on the top of my head with the smooth line of my hair drawn back to fold around to the underside of the bun. My hair was thick, but the styling made it look like I had much more hair. I wasn't allowed to wear my hummingbird kanzashi because it was out of season for the festival. I had almost argued, but before I could even start to come up with a good defense, they had pinned me with midnight blue and purple blossoms that draped down just below my ears. They were soft against my skin, tickling my cheek when I moved.

The kimono I had been tied in matched the blossoms perfectly. Much of the kimono was a black so pure that it almost looked blue when it caught the light right. From the obi down, petals as blue as the ones in my hair began to fall, their numbers increasing until elegant blossoms ranging from a deepest of blues to the most vibrant purples crowded the fabric. The haneri was a similar shade of blue as the kanzashi, leaving my skin as the brightest thing about the outfit. I wasn't even wearing much makeup, just enough to even out my skin, hide the dark, sleep deprived circles under my eyes, and accent my eye color and lips, but with the depth of color in my kimono and my own silky black hair, I looked completely pale.

Dressed like this, I looked a lot like my zanpakuto.

"You just need a mask," she chimed in. I rolled my eyes and watched her through the reflection of the mirror. She had started talking to me again, but we only seemed to argue instead of talking the past few days.

"Too bad it's not that kind of party," I commented bitterly.

"Aw, you know you're excited," she said slyly as she came to stand behind me in the mirror. Her entire face was covered by her mask today. A heavy white veil emerged from the edges of the mask covering hair down to her shoulders. Her outfit was a plain maroon kimono that was a pristine as ever. Overall, she was completely unimpressive today. It was like, besides the mask, we had completely swapped places today.

"Of course, I'm excited," I said, eyeing my reflection. "I haven't performed in front of people in years. It's exhilarating."

"I think you're just excited to perform for a certain someone," she teased. I gave her a funny look in the mirror.

"Not in particular. Lady Nanao isn't attending today, and neither is my sister."

She gave me a thousand-yard stare. "Are you really that dense?"

She knew I wasn't, but I couldn't let myself be misled by my feelings. My captain was just concerned about me. It wasn't any different from Lady Rukia or even Rangiku. It was just because he was a guy. A very attractive, perpetually annoyed, and somewhat scary guy that spoke my name like that—

"So, you're not that dense," my zanpakuto teased.

"Oh, shut up!" I yelled at her, throwing a fan from my sleeve at her. She disappeared for a second, dodging the lightweight projectile, before reappearing. "You never listened to my thoughts before, so stop using them to piss me off!"

"I always listen," she corrected me. "What you fail to do is listen back."

Controlling my anger was difficult as I glared at her through the mirror. "That's because you never say anything for me to listen to!"

She was silent for a moment. I couldn't read her expression under her mask, so all her silence did was make me even angrier.

"Soul Reaper," her voice was soft. The change in her tone had me forgetting my anger as I turned to her.

"Zanpakuto?"

"She Who Struggles," she said, the tone of her voice sounding sad. "Stay near those you know you can trust tonight."

"Why are you suddenly giving me a name again? What's supposed to happen?"

"Stay near those you trust," she repeated. She vanished just like she appeared, leaving me staring at empty space. Part of me wanted to be mad at her sudden disappearance, the other part wanted to shake my zanpakuto until she came back out. What was I supposed to be struggling with? Clearly it wasn't my stray emotions. She would have been smug about that name instead of serious. But still, her tone of voice… Was this worth bothering Captain Hitsugaya?

A knock sounded on my door, drawing me away from my thoughts.

"Who is it?"

"Misa Itachi, an attendant from the Ise Clan," a feminine voice came from the other side of the door.

I rushed over to the door and slid it open. "Clan attendants aren't usually allowed into the barracks. What are you doing here?"

The woman that stood before me was taller than me by several inches and looked like a man except for the cleavage that clearly stood out from her kimono. I almost took a step back when I saw her square jaw and bare, muscular arms that were almost as big around as I was.

"Your Koto was delivered to the Celebration Stage. I'm here to escort you to the area."

Gosh, she sounded like a small petite woman. Hearing that voice come out of that square jaw was just bizarre.

"Oh, I don't need to be escorted. I can-"

"I was directed by the Elder Council to escort you, Ria Yamamoto. You aren't a Soul Reaper tonight. Tonight, you are the only representative of the Ise Clan attending Gotei 13's Summer Celebration Festival. It is my duty to stay by your side until your performance is completed."

"Oh, okay," I said in a very small voice. No one had told me that I was going to have to deal with these formalities tonight. Had my zanpakuto been warning of my impending political doom? Disappointing the clan would certainly have some particularly bad fallout. I wasn't even supposed to do anything special tonight. Sit down, play music, go party. Done.

"Now come, we shall walk there." Her order was like an absolute and unquestionable demand. I quickly ducked back into my room and grabbed my picks, fan and umbrella. Sliding the first two into my sleeves as I donned my geta, I stepped out the door and quickly caught up to Misa at the stairs. She led the way down the stairs and as we walked out into the barracks courtyard, I could feel eyes on me. Quickly, I opened my umbrella and used it to shelter me from the evening sun and the prying eyes of my fellow squad mates.

Misa set a slow pace as we headed for the celebration stage. Many people were running around, setting up for the evening's festivities or already engaging in small gatherings. People were happy as they moved about; laughter and light hearted voices could be heard everywhere in the typically quiet Seireitei. I couldn't help but be a little jealous of all the happy expressions around me. Outside of my family and the few people that I did socialize with, I didn't have much of a social life. It was my own fault really, but it was times like this that envy smoldered inside me.

"Ria," Rangiku's voice called out. I paused, ignoring Misa's grunt of displeasure.

Looking down one of the corridors we had been about to pass, I smiled at my Lieutenant. She was already dressed up for the evening's events. Her kimono was just like her shihakusho and revealed most of her gifted cleavage, while the obi somehow pulled the fabric together to accentuate her tiny waist and curvy hips. Her blonde hair was partially pulled back into a clip while loose strands fluttered around her neck and face. Her ever present chain necklace was still around her neck but her pink scarf was absent. I could only assume that the pink didn't go well with the white and orange kimono into which she had squeezed herself.

"Lieutenant Rangiku," I said in greeting.

Misa started to walk between us, but I quickly stepped in front of her.

"She is my Lieutenant. Despite what you think, I'm still the 3rd seat of Squad 10 tonight. Don't try to overrule me in my duties," I said, my voice having lost its timid acceptance of her orders. The look Misa gave me wasn't the friendliest, but she stepped back and pretended to pay attention to something in the distance.

"Wow, so you really do belong to the Ise Clan," Rangiku commented as she stopped in front of me.

"Yes," I said with a slight nod. "Is something up?"

"No, I just wanted to wish you good luck tonight. I was heading to the barracks when I felt you out here already."

"Thank you. My instrument is already at the Celebration Stage, so we left early to get set and check the tuning."

"Ah, that makes sense." She smiled at me and clapped a hand on my shoulder. "The Captain and I will be there when you and Rukia perform. So, you better do your best. You're representing Squad 10 after all."

"Geez, way to add more pressure," I said sarcastically.

"If you mess up, you have to clean up after the celebration!" She laughed loudly and started walking towards the Squad 10 barracks. I silently shook my fist at her in mock anger.

"Come," Misa said only a few seconds after Rangiku had started walking away.

I let out a silent sigh and turned to follow her once more.

It was only a twenty minute walk or so at a brisk pace to the Celebration Stage. At a Misa pace, it was more like thirty minutes. By the time we got there, we only had twenty minutes before the dance was supposed to take place. Upon arriving, I handed Misa my umbrella and told her to stay away from the stage while I was tuning. She had set up my koto before coming to get me, but she hadn't bothered putting in the bridges that gave each string its note. There were many people already in the area, but for the most part, they were standing away from the stage. Rukia wouldn't come out until it was time for her to dance, so I had the stage to myself for the moment.

Settling down behind my koto, I adjusted the stand so it hovered just over my lap. Slipping on the picks I had brought with me, I began adjusting the bridges and tuning my strings. It didn't take me long to be satisfied with how my koto sounded. Just to make sure everything was good, I started playing a simple melody, adjusting the song so it flowed over all the strings. I made a few minor adjustments to the bridges and sat back. Gazing around, I was a little startled at just how much the area had filled up with people. From the average soul reaper to most of the captains, the area was filled.

I placed my hands in my lap and did my best to just become part of the stage. I wasn't here to shine. It was Rukia's night, and I was just here to assist her. It was one of the reasons that I had been dressed in a mostly black kimono. Sitting here, the only color I displayed was the blue and purple kanzashi in my hair. Even my koto had been varnished with a very dark color, but that wasn't intentional. It was just the one I had picked out years ago, when I graduated from my practice koto.

I felt eyes on me, more than what was just from the crowd. I looked around, searching for any gaze that stood out. Then, I met those aquamarine eyes of a certain captain. I held his gaze for a long moment before I finally reacted to him.

'Ria…'

A blush lit up my cheeks, but I quickly hid it with a nervous smile. Why did he have to say my name like that, damn it! His expression was serious like always. Watching, observing, thinking all in one steady look. I started to open my mouth to say something, but I quickly closed it. He wouldn't hear me from all the way over here. I would have to find him after Rukia's dance. I had to tell him—

Rukia appeared in a flash step at the center of the stage. She appeared so fast, that I didn't even see her take her pose for the beginning of the dance. How long had she been planning that entrance? She hadn't mentioned it to me.

Most people hadn't even noticed her appearance. The crowds were still noisy, chatting amongst themselves as they waited for the entrance that had already happened. I watched Rukia's back for a moment. She made no move at all to tell me what to do. She was supposed to start the dance, queuing the music start with the flick of her fan. But, how long would it take a crowd this big to grow quiet?

Taking the initiative, I started playing something besides the song she was supposed to dance too. I started quietly, playing a complicated but slow melody. I glanced up every few bars to see people slowly paying attention to the stage, but it was only those who were close. I picked up my pace, playing louder as I went. After a few more bars, I saw mostly everyone's gaze was on the stage, so I started dialing back the volume and the pace. By the time I ended the song, everyone was staring at Rukia and waiting quietly for something to happen. I flexed my fingers and settled back, waiting for Rukia's command.

Her fan snapped closed, and I took to my strings.

My fingers flew over the strings, plucking notes and chords as Rukia danced. Her fan twirled, hands arching, face full of expression. I kept my eyes on my strings, only glancing at her during pauses in the music or when I needed to make sure we were in sync. Power radiated off Rukia, drawing everyone's attention to her like bees to a flower. Glitter seemed to sparkle in the air around her, but knowing her, it was a sprinkle of snow that she was manifesting with her reiatsu.

Before long, I struck the final chord. Rukia was frozen on the stage, her fan held open above her as she held an elegant pose with the rest of her body. The remnants of my chord seemed to echo through the Seireitei until the entire area fell into silence. My heart thudded in my throat as I held my gaze down on my koto. Being close to Rukia, I could hear her breath coming out in light pants as she held her pose. The glitter that had been dotting the air were now fully formed snowflakes, but with the setting sun reflecting on them, they looked like fireflies burning around her.

Footsteps padded onto the stage and I glanced up, only moving my eyes to see the bottom of a pink kimono.

"Let the celebration begin!" Head Captain Kyoraku's voice called out. Cheers exploded from the crowded Soul Reapers at his words. I relaxed back and pushed my koto away from my knees. Rukia stepped towards me from where she had posed, and smiled down at me. I smiled back and rose to my feet.

Just as we started to say something to one another, Rukia was swarmed by people who had come up on stage. I waved goodbye as a herd of her subordinates and friends ushered her off the stage and into the crowd. I laughed quietly to myself as I watched her be swept away. Making my presence small, I slipped my picks from my fingers and turned to exit the stage area from the other side. I knew Misa would be taking my koto back to my room for me, so I didn't need to pack it up. Carefully picking my way down the steps, I had to stop before I reached the bottom because someone was standing in my way. Looking up from my feet, I couldn't help but to smile at Amagi.

"Hey there," I greeted him.

"That was an amazing performance," he said, returning my smile with a cheerful one of his own. He was dressed in a deep burgundy kimono with grey hakama and an equally burgundy haori over it. The colors made his green hair and daffodil eyes pop. He had really outdone himself dressing up tonight.

"Thank you," I said, accepting his compliment. He held his hand out to me and I took it, using it for balance as I took the last step down. He held my hand for a moment longer than necessary to help me down the steps, but I didn't say anything. He was being nice, and I could appreciate that.

"You really do belong to one of the noble houses, don't you?" He asked, his eyes taking in my appearance.

I shook my head and slipped my hand out of his. "Not really," I denied. "I'm just a distant relation. Still just a Yamamoto."

"Even so, with the Yamamoto name, it's no wonder that you look like a noble woman," he commented.

I started to correct him, but I was distracted when I heard my last name shouted out above the thinning crowd. Turning, I was instantly greeted by a bear hug and Rangiku's oversized breasts in my face.

"Yamamoto, that was fantastic! I didn't know you could play like that," she gushed, squeezing me tighter as she swirled around. "We need to celebrate!"

The voices of several other people surrounded us, cheering words of praise and jabbering amongst themselves. I struggled to pull my face out of Rangiku's breasts to breathe, but she just kept holding me as she chatted with the other people around us. Giving up on pulling away from her I slipped my hand around her body and gave her butt a firm pinch. She jumped, her arms releasing me and going to clasp over her butt as she let out a high-pitched squeak of surprise. Laughs exploded from the small crowd around us as I gasped for breath.

"Come on, 3rd seat Yamamoto," one of the men on my right said. "Everyone's back at the barracks celebrating already."

I looked up at the man and smiled. It was one of the soldiers in my squad. I typically didn't interact much with the squad members because my duties were unique. Unlike most of the other officers, I wasn't in charge of my own unit. As the third seat, it was typical for me to have my own soldiers, but since I didn't, I was shocked that there were so many members of my squad here. There must have been twenty of them gathered around us. This opening celebration dance was really just a formality, so for them to have come it really warmed something in my heart.

Having recovered from the shock of her butt getting pinched, Rangiku swung an arm over my shoulders and started leading me away.

"Come on, Ria, it's not time to dawdle! There's Sake waiting for us at the barracks!" She cheered. I stumbled along as she dragged me beside her with her much longer strides.

"Slow down, Rangiku, the sake will still be there in five minutes," I complained.

"There better be lots of sake left when I get there!" she cheered, louder than before. Had she already been drinking? Why did I even have to ask myself that?

All the way back to the Squad 10 barracks, I was swamped with questions about how I had learned to play an instrument so well. I was getting so much attention that I didn't know how to field all the questions. I had to resort to vague answers and head nods in order to even think about responding to the onslaught. Once we arrived at the barracks, we all headed for the courtyard. It had transformed since I had come through earlier. Tables were set out with food and drinks all around the edges of the courtyard. In the middle of the courtyard, more tables littered the area where people were sitting and having a good time with one another.

Rangiku led us over to a few of the empty tables and went to fetch a few jugs of sake for everyone. Several of the people that had walked back with us dispersed to other areas, for which I was extremely grateful. All those people had started becoming too much for me to handle. Folding my kimono neatly under my knees, I sat down across from Amagi and a few other members of our squad. Now that the group had gotten most of their questions out, they had stopped paying me as much attention as they had on the way here. I really was an introvert at heart.

When Rangiku returned, she slammed an entire bottle of sake down in front of me. I laughed and started to push it away.

"No way!" Rangiku denied as she put it right back in front of me. "You better finish that tonight! A reward for doing so good!" she ordered, handing me a sakazuki cup.

"I can't possibly finish this tonight," I objected. I wasn't exactly a lightweight, but that was an awfully big bottle.

"'Course you can! We have tomorrow off." She filled my cup to the brim with sake. "Now drink!"

I let out a sigh and quickly downed the liquid. Oh damn, this was the good stuff!

Two hours later, I had consumed about as much as I was willing to have in one night. It was well into the night and I was sporting a damn good buzz. Several people had already passed out, including Rangiku, who was in a competition for the most drool on the table with Amagi. I had managed to get away with only drinking about half of my bottle of sake, thank goodness. Rangiku was like a damn fish when she started drinking.

I leaned back against the table, having at some point in time turned around so I was facing the isle. My zanpakuto was probably losing her touch. She had been way more serious than she needed to be this afternoon. The only thing I had struggled with all day was trying to be social. Everyone had a good time, so I must have done something right. And Rangiku was with me all evening, so I had kept someone I trusted with me. I was good to go.

'Ria…'

Oh geez, why did I have to think of him right now? I was supposed to go talk to him, but he was probably already off in bed or something. Captain Hitsugaya never participated in our parties. It was like, against his code of awesomeness or whatever to drink. I was still crossing my fingers that one day, Rangiku would trick him into getting drunk. Aaahhh, that would be hilarious. I wonder if she would accept bribes… I laughed to myself at the thought. There was no way.

Letting out a sigh, I slowly rolled onto my feet. I wobbled for a bit, struggling to stand on my geta even though it should have been easy. With a huff, I kicked them off and slowly worked my way towards the offices. I had to step over several passed-out bodies on the way, which was interesting because I had to lift my skirts up to get over a few of them. I even fell over once, but I had landed on someone who was so gone that he just grunted. Which made me laugh for a long time.

When I eventually made it to the doors leading inside, I had lost one sock, but otherwise I was intact. I even still had my fan, though which sleeve it was in, I couldn't remember. Giggling to myself, I headed for the stairs. I treated each step like I was an inch worm and had to go up the steps backwards on my butt. Trying to hold my skirts and walk just sounded like it would be a disaster waiting to happen.

When I finally made it to the landing, I had to roll over and use the wall to stand. I may have had a bit more to drink than I thought… Oh well. Turning to go down the hallway, I stopped and gave a suspicious glance down each of my options. Was I on the third floor or the second? Did I need the third floor or the second?

"I can't remember!" I called out to no one. Laughing at myself, I turned back to the stairs and started inch-worming up to the next flight. Captains were the head honchos. Of course, he would be on the third floor. Why be in the middle, where you can hear people running around above you? My logic made absolute sense, I was sure.

Coming to my feet on the landing once more, I went straight down the hallway in front of me. I should have had it memorized, how to get to the Captain's office. I had to go there all the time to move paperwork around. It only made sense that I should follow my instincts. So what if I couldn't seem to remember where it was.

"Ah-ha!" I shouted at the door when I came across the Squad 10 crest on a set of double sliding doors. Pointing an arm at it dramatically, I quietly praised myself and my fantastic discovery.

"Huzzah!" Walking to the door, I knocked on it.

No answer.

I knocked again.

No answer.

I slid the door open and poked my head in sideways, trying to be stealthy. Oh, it was empty… So, he had gone off to bed! That probably meant that I should go to bed too, so nothing else could happen tonight.

Closing the Captain's office doors with a loud thwack, I made my way towards the stairs, inch worming the entire way down to the first floor. When I stood at the bottom, I had to brush my shoulder off like a total pro. Because I was awesome and didn't face plant. Yeah!

Leaving the offices, I headed for the part of the barracks that housed all the soldiers. It wasn't much of a walk, and thankfully there were no bodies to clamber over on the way there. Getting up the stairs here was much more of a challenge. Apparently, several people had tried and failed to make it back to their rooms, so I had to inch worm over them on my way up to my room. I was on the fourth floor which, with flash step, was normally not an issue. Tonight, however, that was four flights of passed out Soul Reapers I had to work around. It was supremely hilarious. I really hoped that I remembered tonight when morning came.

Finally making it up to the fourth floor, I staggered to my room, laughing and giggling the whole way. I slid the door to my room open and shuffled inside before closing it behind me. Musing at myself, I reached up to pull the kanzashi from my hair.

"Bakudo #61. Rikujokoro."

Beams of light slammed into my waist, freezing my body where I stood. I blinked at the wall I had been gazing at, not understanding what had just happened. I tried to move my arms that were raised up, one hand holding the kanzashi while the other hovered ready to catch it if I were to drop it. I couldn't do anything more than flex my muscles to no avail.

"Yamamoto," said a male voice that I didn't recognize from further into my room.

My breath caught in my throat as I started to understand what had happened. Someone had been waiting in my room for me. I didn't know the voice. It didn't even sound like someone from Squad 10. Whoever they were, they had used a kido above 60 without an incantation, or perhaps they had said it before I entered the room. I was loud enough to allow someone to prepare their strike.

Hot breath ghosted across the back of my neck. Fear spiked through my body, temporarily dimming the effects of the alcohol I had consumed. Trapped by the bakudo, I could barely breathe evenly, let alone talk. I felt a touch on my shoulder that dragged across my back to my other shoulder. Their touch moved over my shoulder as they came around to stand in front of me. A man who I didn't recognize looked me in the eye. His expression was sinister, a crocodile like smile baring his teeth.

"You really were too easy to catch," he said as his hand trailed up to my neck and caressed my jaw line. My eyes hardened into a glare as I met his grey gaze. His smile only widened.

"Do you have any idea why I am here?" His fingers trailed over my cheek, caressing it tenderly. "I don't suppose you do."

His hand pulled away, only for it to speed forward a moment later. The back of his hand connected with my cheek and my head jerked with the force of the hit, only to be stuck turned to the side because of his bakudo. He laughed, the sound grating like a cackle as blood coated my mouth in a coppery taste. I couldn't stop the blood as it trailed down my lip and neck to soak into the collar of my kimono. His hand grasped my face violently, turning my head so I was looking at him once more.

"You never should have left the Rukon District," he growled. "I am here to put you back in your place."

I gave him a growl of my own. It was the only thing I could do without moving. He laughed and stepped away from me and looked me up and down, a crazy glint in his eyes.

"Aw, you dressed up just for little ol' me." He reached out and ran a hand across my obi, trailing his fingers up and over my breasts. "I am going to ruin you. The Ise Clan won't want you after I'm done with you, nor will your little captain. They'll send you back to the cesspool you crawled out of."

The spike of fear that had been zinging through my body suddenly mixed with anger. I called on my spiritual energy, forcing it to grow inside me. I wouldn't be helpless, not now. If he had just used the bakudo without an incantation, I might be able to break it. I spent so much of my spiritual energy on using my shikai. When I didn't sink all my energy into my shikai though—

"It's amusing that you're trying to fight back," he sneered as his smile widened. In a flash, he was in my face, his hands slapping cold metal around my wrists. I gasped as the spiritual energy I had been gathering lashed back at me like a hot whip on my mind. What the hell had he just done?

"You are so much prettier without a spiritual pressure. Now, you have to be a good little girl." He smiled at me, his teeth fully bared. His mouth smashed into mine, his teeth grinding into my lips in a forceful kiss while his hand gripped my hair. I couldn't help but whimper as I felt my lips bruising and bleeding. He pulled back ever so slightly and licked my lips, then my chin. He pulled back and laughed again, his mouth red with my blood.

"You are weak. You don't deserve to be 3rd seat. I'm going to make you regret ever having become a Soul Reaper." He dropped the kanzashi I had in my hair on the floor, making sure I could watch him do it.

I tried to call my spiritual energy again, but it recoiled and slapped my mind once more. I focused on him and tried to think a way out of the situation, but he stepped out of my line of sight, forcing me to glare at the wall.

What could I do? I should have found the captain earlier instead of drinking with Rangiku. My zanpakuto had warned me. Why hadn't I taken her more seriously, or been more proactive in preventing this?

I felt the smaller bands of my obi give way as he yanked at the knots. He started humming a jolly tune as he worked at the rest of the knots and ties securing my obi. Tears burned in my eyes as I realized that there was nothing I could do. I was truly at this man's mercy, and I didn't think he had a merciful bone in his body. The pillows that padded my stomach and back fell away, and with them tears started falling from my eyes. Why hadn't I just found Captain Hitsugaya like I had promised I would?

The door to my room flew open and shards of ice shot through the air. I heard my assailant shout with surprise as metal clashed. I couldn't see what was happening, but I could feel movement behind me. Cold air shot past me, covering the wall in my room with a thick layer a blue tinted ice. I stared at it in shock. I couldn't feel him, his spiritual pressure was completely hidden from me, but more tears streamed down my face as I realized that he had come. I didn't know how, but he had.

"Die!" I heard my assailant shout.

I was suddenly surrounded by ice as an explosion shook the building. I didn't hear the blast, but its shockwave stole my breath away. An eerie silence overtook the room then. I could hear someone breathing lightly nearby, but with the bakudo holding me still, I couldn't turn. The ice surrounding me cracked and fell away. Footsteps approached me and finally, I saw Captain Hitsugaya's face as it came into my view. He tapped the light beams of the bakudo with his hand, but his expression darkened when it didn't fall away. Lifting his sword, he slashed the beams away and I fell with the release.

He caught me mid fall, taking us both to the ground. With his touch, I could suddenly feel him, feel his spiritual pressure as he cradled me in his arms. I held on to him as tears ran from my eyes, one arm wrapped around his waist while my other hand grasped at his shihakusho desperately. He was whispering into my hair, but I was so lost in relief that I didn't understand what he was saying.

It took me a long time to stop crying enough to actually think. All I wanted to do was hold him and be held. He had saved me. Again.

Shouts greeted my ears as members of the squad began to gather outside my room. I made myself as small as I could in his arms, not wanting to be seen in such a pathetic state. His spiritual pressure flared and the shouts ceased. I didn't care what he had done, but I pressed my face more firmly into him to better hide myself.

"How did you…?" I asked with my face still buried in the fabric of his shihakusho.

He seemed to realize that I wasn't out of my mind with tears anymore, and started rubbing circles into my back. "I felt your spiritual pressure just before it vanished."

I nodded stiffly. I felt him move and heard him sheath his zanpakuto as his spiritual pressure dulled. He shifted me, sliding his arm under my legs and lifting me off the ground. I wrapped my arm around his neck and kept my face hidden in his shoulder. The cold in the air vanished as he slipped out the door to my room. Whispers came from the squad members that I knew were still there. I felt the power in his muscles as he flash stepped once, then again, completely leaving the other people behind. He stopped long enough to slide a door open with his foot and spun around to close it. I felt him sit down, my weight shifting to no longer supported by his arms. I curled into him, making sure to keep my face hidden in his shihakusho.

"What happened?" He asked with a soft voice. I turned my head so I wasn't talking to into his chest and tried to put the words together in my head.

"He was in my room," I said, my voice sounding rough with tears.

"I was so drunk," I let my words trail off for a moment. "He used kido on me before I even knew what was going on."

He seemed to pause to think over his words. "Did you invite him in?"

"No," I scoffed. "He was waiting for me."

His hand ran down my hair, which I vaguely remembered falling out of its chignon when that man had so forcefully kissed me.

"Did he hurt you?" He asked. I lifted a hand to my lips, touching them gently to test how hurt they were.

"Just a little," I said as I looked at my fingertips. They were still coming away with fresh blood, but it was starting to clot.

"May I see?" His voice was so gentle. I didn't want to say no to him, but I didn't want him to see what that man had done to me.

"Ria, it's okay," he cooed, strengthening his grip around me. I hadn't noticed that I had started to shake. I took in a deep breath and tilted my head back so he could see my face. I kept my gaze trained at a spot on his shihakusho as he looked at me. I couldn't bear to see the rejection in his eyes. That man may not have ruined me, but I felt violated. I didn't want my captain to see someone like me, so weak and unable to even defend herself.

I saw his hand come up and I flinched, seeing the slap coming despite knowing I was imagining it. Green light enveloped his hand as he held his fingertips just above my cut and bruised lips. My eyes widened. I didn't know he could use kaido. My gaze flicked up to his and I was pinned by those aquamarine eyes. They were filled with such concern that I didn't deserve. Tears blurred my vision so I closed them, letting the tears slide down my cheeks.

"It's okay, Ria," he murmured, "I'm here. It's over."

"What if you didn't feel me?" I gasped out despite my trying to hold back my sobs. "What if no one knew?"

"I told you Ria, you are mine to protect. I will always be there." His hot breath caressed my forehead with his words before his lips pressed against my forehead in a feather-light kiss.

"I am not deserving," I whispered.

"Yes, you are," he said, his voice matching mine.

I looked up at him once more, meeting his gaze. "I meant to tell you what my zanpakuto had said, but I couldn't get to you at the Celebration Stage, and Rangiku-"

"It's alright," he assured me. The green light from his kaido dissipated and he lowered his hand to rest on my arm. I ran my tongue over my lips, checking to see how healed my lips were. Other than the old blood, it was like I had never been bleeding in the first place. He turned his attention down my body, pausing on my lips before his attention turned to the manacles on my wrists. His free hand grasped my right and lifted it. He shifted to get a better look at the manacles, pulling me tighter into his body.

"He used these to seal your spiritual pressure?" He asked.

"I think so," I replied, letting my fingers curl around his palm. The manacles were plain white metal that appeared to have no seam as he turned my hand over. "I thought I could break his bakudo with my spiritual energy, but he slapped these on my wrists and my reiatsu backlashed."

His grip slid down my hand until it was resting over the manacles. His gaze narrowed as he focused on the metal and I felt the temperature shift in the room. Ice formed under his hand, coating the manacle and my skin. His hand flexed around the ice he had made and I heard the metal crack under his palm. He released my wrist and the manacle fell into my lap in several chunks of ice. Instantly, something in my chest relaxed as I could feel the world around me again. His hand closed over my reddened wrist, the heat from his skin soothing the chill that his ice had caused.

"I need your other wrist," he murmured. I nodded and started to pull away from him. His hand left my freed wrist and went to my waist, holding me where I was. "You'll fall if you move like that."

I looked around then. I hadn't realized where he had taken us. We were sitting on a couch in a room that I had never been in before. It was sparsely decorated, but it clearly resembled a living room with the couches and coffee table on one side and the chabudai table across the room with cushions laid around it. The one wall in the room that wasn't made up for shoji doors had an elegantly painted bamboo tree dancing across the wood.

"Where are we?" I asked, my voice filled with wonder.

"My house at the barracks." He replied. "It is the only place I could guarantee privacy."

I nodded slowly. I was in his house, a place I had never been. I could see how privacy was guaranteed. The only other people that came in here were other captains and Rangiku. I turned back to him and avoided his gaze as I shifted away from his body so I could pull my arm between us and offer him the other manacle. I didn't want to leave his embrace, not yet. For once, I wanted to be selfish, so I let myself be. He froze the manacle off my wrist like he had done to the first one and I settled back against him. His arms surrounded me, holding me lightly to him.

"What happened to him?" I asked quietly.

"He's dead." Seeing the shock on my face, he elaborated, "He was caught in his own explosion. I contained him and the blast just before it went off. Hence why you didn't hear the explosion, but felt it."

"Oh." I relaxed back into him, my forehead resting against the side of his neck.

"Did he say why?"

"Yes," I said, swallowing down a sudden lump in my throat. I gripped his shihakusho in my hand, struggling to repeat that man's words. "I'm weak and don't deserve my rank or name. He wanted to ruin me."

My vision was overcome by the memory of his face so close to mine as he slapped the manacles around my wrists. His toothy grin before his mouth crashed into mine. I whimpered against his mouth as his teeth—

"Hey." Hitsugaya's voice pulled me from the memory. His grip around me was tight and tense as he said, "It's over, Ria. Stay here with me. He's dead. He can't hurt you again."

I curled my legs up and turned my body so I wasn't just lying in his arms, but pressed against him.

"I keep seeing it, experiencing it over and over again. The hollow, the blood, that man. It just won't go away." A shudder ran through my body as I fought the urge to start crying again.

"They can't hurt you anymore, Ria," he whispered into my hair. "I'm here, you are safe."

He held me as I began to cry again, overwhelmed by the multitude of emotions I had experienced that day. His arms were strong against my back, while his hand gently ran through my hair. I cried out all the fear and pain that I had been holding onto for days. I let it soak into his shihakusho as I held him desperately. He whispered into my hair as I cried, words that I knew were meant just for me but I couldn't understand. Eventually, I fell asleep in his arms. Cradled in the comforting warmth of him, I was able to relax like I hadn't been able to in years. I was safe, here, in his arms.