Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Seer ❯ She Who Suffers ( Chapter 9 )

Getting ready in the morning with Rangiku around was like entering a beauty parlor with an overzealous hair dresser. I didn't need my hair flat ironed or curled. I didn't even need hair spray with how smooth my locks normally were. I just needed my damn ribbon and I was good to go. All I wanted to do was put my hair in its normal chignon and leave. I was intending to go see my sister today to return the kimono and fetch my kanzashi, a task that I had intended to prolong so I could have a chat with her. I had planned on being done and back before I was due at work, but the way Rangiku was fussing over me was going to make me be late if I stayed to talk very long. But of course, I couldn't leave before she got her hands on me.

I was going to have to figure out a way to elude Rangiku tomorrow. I did have to admit that the way she had done my chignon looked fantastic, and the make-up she had forced me to don made my face glow. I really did look good, but I was going to go to work. If I didn't know better, I would have bet money that Rangiku was secretly working for Lady Rukia. Certainly, they were hatching some sort of match making plot. Rangiku always left us alone, which was uncharacteristic of her, or was constantly snooping around corners. Normally she was too lazy to put in the effort.

I let out a sigh as I approached the Ise Clan's manor. Rangiku had let me go alone to see my sister on the strict understanding that if I wasn't in her office in two hours that she would personally come and let my sister know what I had been up to. That alone was enough of a motivator to be back to work well before that. I didn't need Rangiku to exaggerate what things were between Captain Hitsugaya any myself. In fact, I had every intention of underexaggerating our relationship. Acting the way I was… It just wasn't proper.

It wasn't like I cared what was proper when I was with him though. He made me feel at ease, like all the worries that went through my head every day didn't matter as much. It was rather funny to think that before now, seeing him meant I went through a check list in my head and panicked if he looked at me too long. He was still an intimidating guy, but when it was just the two of us…

I shook my head as I walked through the entry way into the Ise Manor. I was greeted by an attendant who I handed the boxed kimono to and sent her off to return my kimono to storage. Left to my own devices, I headed for the kitchen where I suspected my sister was. She had a small amount of spiritual pressure which allowed me to track her as I moved through the compound. I had once been told that our spiritual pressures felt very similar, but she had never done anything with her innate abilities like I did.

Pushing the door leading to the kitchen open, I glanced inside to see the kitchen completely empty except for one person. Her back was to me, her perfectly straight black hair pulled back into a loose braid that trailed down her back to end at the bottom of her pink obi. Her kimono was a light pink much like her obi with bursts of white and green breaking up the pink here and there. She was humming to herself as she fussed with whatever she was baking, swaying to the song in her head.

"Mio," I sang her name as I entered the kitchen.

"I thought that was you," she replied without turning. "I really should be mad at you for taking so long to come see me."

"But you're not, right?" I asked as I came up beside her and watched as she shaped pink colored frosting on top of a cookie.

She stopped what she was doing and looked over at me with a smirk, her rich chocolate eyes narrowing. "I should be."

I smiled and bumped her hip lightly with my own. "Love you too, sis."

Her smirk turned into a smile and she turned her gaze back down to her hands. "I have good news. Can you guess what it is?" She asked playfully.

"You've taken up baking as a hobby?" I guessed.

"No, but it does have something to do with these cookies," she said as she nodded towards the two dozen or so cookies she had already finished decorating. I walked around to her other side and looked down at the cookies, trying to figure out the clue. The cookies were all covered in light blue or pink frosting and embellished with frilly bits of shaped frosting that looked like bows and ruffles. I leaned over the cookies, looking straight down at them. They were all in the shape of socks and binkies like Humans used. It was an odd shape to be baking cookies in…

"No way," I said as I looked at her tummy.

"Yes way," she repeated, her smiled widening.

"Since when?" I asked as I turned to her. "You aren't even showing one little bit!"

"The midwife says three months. I just found out two days ago," she squeaked out with excitement. "I thought I was just getting fat!"

"Does Daichi know?"

"Why do you think I'm making these cookies?" She said as she placed the one she had been working on beside the others. "He comes home later today from a planning meeting at the Kyoraku Estate. I'm going to surprise him with these and see if he can put two and two together."

I laughed with her as we both imagined just how long it would take him to figure it out. They had been trying for children since before I knew how they were made. After 40 or so years, I had thought they had given up. Apparently not.

"I have something I'd like to talk to you about," I said, changing the subject.

Her expression dropped. "Don't tell me you're pregnant too!"

"No!" I quickly objected. "Why on earth would you think that?"

"Well, that's the subject we were on." She said with a sigh. "Who knows what those soul reapers get into these days in the Human World. I hear stories all the time about how Humans act and dress." She made a disgusted face which caused me to laugh.

"It's nothing like that," I assured her.

"Let me box these up, then we can talk."

It took Mio only a few minutes to have an elegantly carved box filled with the delicate cookies. When we left the kitchen some of the staff seemed to appear from nowhere and head into the abandoned room. I had to laugh to myself as I realized she had kicked them all out so she could work in privacy. With Lady Nanao mostly staying in her house at the barracks, my sister ran the manor in her stead. It was clear that no one questioned her authority, at least not in her presence.

We stopped in her room only long enough for her to retrieve my kanzashi from her vanity. She placed it in my hair with practiced ease before leading us out to a covered patio area. Taking a seat, she waved off an attendant that had started heading our way and focused her attention on me. Her face was still glowing with happiness as she gazed at me, but her expression was blank and waiting.

I took in a slow breath. I could tell she was expecting me to give her bad news of some sort. How she would take the conversation though… I really didn't know.

"When you released me from my obligations to marry, what did you intend for me to do in that aspect?" I asked her, trying not to put any of my own feelings into my words.

She tilted her head to one side as she observed me. "I did not have any intentions for you. From what I am led to believe by Lady Nanao's expressions of her work requirements, most soul reapers do not have the luxury of time. I mean this in regards to raising a family or being available to spend much time away from your barracks."

I thought over her words for a moment. "From my understanding, Lady Nanao serves the Kyoraku family much in the sense that Daichi does. The only difference being that she is directly working for Head Captain Kyoraku. I, on the other hand, have a much different work load from hers."

She raised an eyebrow. "There must be a reason that you wanted to discuss this in particular."

"Yes," I said turning my gaze out onto the yard. "I understand that I am no longer obligated to an arranged marriage. I also understand that despite not having the Ise Clan's name, I am considered to be representing them by the elders. What is an acceptable match for someone like me?"

"Anyone," she responded simply.

I looked back to her, a little surprised by her answer. "What?"

"We are from the Rukon district, Ria. I married Daichi despite that. Even the head of the Kuchiki Clan married a woman from the Rukon district years ago. Most prominent families promote marrying for advantageous reasons, which is what you had once been obligated to do. But, you've been released. It wasn't just me who made the decision. It was Lady Nanao who gave her blessing on the decision as well." Mio reached out and took my hand. "It is her firm belief that if you really love someone, then something as silly as status shouldn't stop you from being together."

I gave her a relaxed smile and squeezed her hand. "Thank you."

"But," she said sharply. "Whoever has caught your eye better not be some lazy slob. I won't allow you to marry some fat moocher who just wants to use you for your name. Yamamoto's are better than that!"

I tried to apply her words to Captain Hitsugaya in my head, but ended up laughing at the resulting mental image. "I don't think you will ever have to worry about that."

"Oh really?" She asked as she released my hand and clasped her own delicately in her lap. "Who is he?"

I laughed nervously. "He's just someone I work with. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to say anything unless it becomes more serious."

"Oh, it must be someone that out ranks you if you're talking like that."

"Mio," I started to object, but she continued.

"There's several male lieutenants in the 13 Court Guard Squads. You wouldn't be worried if it was Marechiyo Omaeda because of his family's wealth, so it's not him." She said as she ticked off a finger. "It's not Shuhei Hisagi. You would have never gone for him with those tattoos all over his face." She gestured at her cheek while making a funny expression.

"Sis, it's not one of the lieutenants." I quickly said. "I hardly ever see people from other squads as it is."

"So, it's someone in your squad!" She cheered. "And everyone but your lieutenant is a man. Let's see, there's that pretty boy Amagi."

"No," I said with a huff.

"What about your 5th seat? Ono something,"

"Would you quit guessing?" I said in annoyance.

"No," She replied curtly. "Eventually you're going to give it away. I just have to say their name, and I know most of their names thanks to you."

"You are a horrible sister," I said grumpily.

"You could just tell me," she teased.

"Or you could quit being nosy," I shot back.

"Nope, being nosy is in the big sister rule book," she said with a big smile. "Now let me think, who else is in your squad…"

I heaved in a large sigh and let it out as I started to get to my feet. "That's it, I'm leaving before you can torment me anymore."

"Toshiro Hitsugaya," she said abruptly.

I tripped over my own feet and almost face planted before I caught myself. "Mio," I growled out as I turned to look at her.

The level of smug that she expressed in her grin was sickening.

"I thought so," She said.

I sat back down and glared at her. "You knew, didn't you?"

"Yep."

I hung my head in defeat. "Let me guess, you heard from Lady Nanao and she heard it from Lieutenant Rangiku."

"Most likely," she said, her expression somehow becoming even more smug. "They are both part of the Soul Reaper Women's Association."

I hung my head in defeat. I should have known…

"Aw, don't look so put out little sis," Mio encouraged. "I was going to find out eventually."

"I'm more worried about what Rangiku has been saying," I grumbled.

"From my understanding, she only made it a point to tell Lady Nanao. She's probably trying to help you out."

"That's not helping," I said as I lifted my head.

"Actually, it is. Now it won't be a surprise to Lady Nanao if something more develops between the two of you and you end up having to discuss the matter with her. You should have seen her expression the first time I met her. It was terrifying," she said with a small laugh.

I groaned. "I hadn't even thought about that."

"Yes, whoever you do decide to marry will have to ask her for permission. Have fun with that," she teased.

"I wasn't even thinking marriage when I came here. There's just something between us, and I didn't want to have my hopes crushed if it became something more."

"It's just 'something'?" She asked with a raised brow. "What does that 'something' entail?"

I blushed as I recalled our interaction from the night before. "I don't really know how to explain it," I said softly. "He's just there for me, and every time he saves me from some impending doom it warms my heart. He's helped me to grow, not just as a soul reaper, but as a person and I trust him more than I've ever let myself trust someone before." I looked down to my hands and laughed at myself. "Even when I made a bumbling fool of myself and ran, he chased me down, threw me over his shoulder and talked some sense into me."

"Oh my," Mio said with a sigh. "I sure hope he's even half as much in love with you, as you are him."

"You don't understand, Mio. It's hard to explain things without causing you worry, but he's saved me from my own foolishness. My zanpakuto said that it was fate that is drawing us together," I said as I looked back up to my sister. "I'm starting to believe her."

Mio watched my face for a long moment, her own expression softening as she studied me. After a moment, she seemed to relax and let her gaze drop to her hands. "When you've decided how serious this relationship between the two of you is, I want to meet him. Lady Nanao may know his character, but I will not give up my little sister to a stranger."

I smiled and shuffled over to give her a hug. "If the time comes, I promise I will."

She patted my arm in a comforting gesture, "Yeah, yeah. Don't you have work or something to get to?"

I pulled away from her and nodded, "Yeah, Lieutenant Rangiku is expecting me back soon. I need to give her a piece of my mind anyway."

"I'll walk you out then," she said as she stood. I followed her and we headed for the entrance to the manor.

"You'll have to tell me how long it takes for Daichi to get the cookie hint," I said lightly.

"That means you'll have to come back and visit soon," she chastised.

"I'll do my best," I replied.

As we rounded the corner leading to the manor entrance I spotted a familiar face waiting at the gateway. Amagi Kyrouni stood just off the manor's grounds, his gaze wandering curiously over the front of the manor. When he spotted us he waved enthusiastically. I gave him a smile before I glanced over at my sister.

"Amagi?" She asked. I nodded. She vaguely knew what a few of the officers looked like, and not many people had green hair and daffodil yellow eyes.

"He's probably got some orders for me or something," I said with a shrug. "I'll try to make it back to see you next week."

We said our good-byes and I headed for Amagi who was waiting patiently outside the gateway. "You know," he started to say. "I knew you belonged to the Ise Clan, but I guess I just didn't comprehend what that meant."

"It really means nothing," I said with an embarrassed laugh.

"Most of us in the squad are from the Rukon District."

I interrupted him before he could continue. "So am I, Amagi. I was just another person before I became a soul reaper." I gave him a cheerful smile to end the conversation.

He smiled back at me. "Right, sorry."

"Its fine. Why did you come all the way out here for me though?" I asked him as I started walking away from the Ise Manor. He hesitated for a moment before he caught up to me and started walking at my side.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto has a meeting for the Soul Reaper Women's Association today and Captain Hitsugaya is at a meeting with the Head Captain this morning. She wanted me to let you know and to accompany you back to the barracks."

"Ah," I murmured. "I hope I'm not interrupting your other duties for the day."

"Not at all," he quickly replied. "My combat team is training with the 8th combat team today. When Sanado was injured during the fight was that Adjuchas their entire team forgot protocol and scattered. We're putting them through some drills so it doesn't happen again. But that leaves me with nothing to do today, besides paperwork of course."

"Of course," I said with a small laugh. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

He shook his head. "No, I was headed to the dining hall when Lieutenant Matsumoto found me."

"Good, let's eat before we go back to work!" I cheered. "Come on." I flash stepped away, going slower than normal so that he could keep up with me.

We arrived at the dining hall after several minutes. The place was mostly empty since most of the squad members were already at work for the day. Quickly getting our food we sat down at a table by the bay of windows and began eating.

"Yamamoto," Amagi started to say. "Lieutenant Matsumoto said something strange to me when she sent me to get you. Do you mind if I ask you what she meant by it?"

I quirked my eyebrow at him as I paused a bite of fried egg that was on its way to my mouth. "I don't mind."

He set his bowl down and looked me straight in the eye. "Are you in some sort of trouble?"

"Trouble?" I asked as I returned the egg to my dish. "What do you mean by that?"

"Are you in danger from something here in the Soul Society? Lieutenant Matsumoto didn't say it exactly, but she implied that something might happen to you." He paused for a moment, but continued. "I know you've been in and out of Squad 4's infirmary a lot lately, so I put two and two together."

I nodded. "You could say that. I've never been very combat oriented when it comes to my zanpakuto's abilities. I've always been more of a useful tool than anything." I let out a sigh. "She told you to look after me while they were gone, didn't she?"

"It was implied," he said with a slight nod.

"You're a lot better trained in combat than I am, Amagi. But, even knowing that I'm sorry that you have to look out for me. It really should be the other way around with me out ranking you and all."

"Its fine Yamamoto," Amagi said with a brilliant smile. "You're stronger than me in a lot of other ways. Besides, I could never do the lieutenant's paper work as well as you can."

We laughed and went back to eating. Being around Amagi was always so relaxing. It was just his personality. He made everyone around him feel at ease, and everyone knew it. People just gravitated towards him because he was such an easy-going guy. When we talked, everything I said came out easily instead of in my typical formal speech. It was a refreshing change of pace…

"Amagi, now that we are back at the barracks you can go back to work." I said as we got up from the table.

"Are you sure? I know Lieutenant Matsumoto only ordered me to escort you back, but I don't mind sticking around," he offered as we headed for the door.

"Its fine. I'm just going back to my room for a bit. I'll be in the office shortly." I assured him.

"Alright," he said with a nod.

We parted ways at the door as I headed for the barracks and he for the offices. I didn't bother wasting time walking and flash stepped up to the fourth floor of the barracks. I hesitated at the door to my room, my hand resting on the door handle. I hadn't been back to my room since that man had ambushed me a few nights ago. Since that flash back I had in the training area, I hadn't thought about what had happened here. There'd always been something, or someone, to distract me and keep my mind elsewhere. Standing here with my hand on the door was like replaying the memories.

Steeling myself, I pushed the door open and gazed in. I couldn't let myself become so wrapped up in what had happened or I'd never be normal again. The far side of the room looked like it had been scorched briefly by fire, the burn patterns having only eaten away at spots in the surfaces. The floor and several spots around the room looked water stained, most likely from Hyorinmaru's melted ice. Most of the furniture in the room was still intact, but damaged here and there from the brief fight that had occurred between Captain Hitsugaya and my attacker.

Reaching behind me I slid the door to my room closed and slid my zanpakuto from her sheath with the other. Perhaps releasing my shikai here wasn't the best idea. There were so many things that could go wrong if I couldn't control myself.

"Tankyu no Unmei," I said as I lifted her blade so I could see my reflection. "Maebure no Shukufuku."

My zanpakuto's image appeared in the place of my reflection. Power coursed through me from my zanpakuto, nearly taking me to my knees. I fought with the power, forcing it to stay contained within a small perimeter of my body. Golden flecks danced around me as I pushed for the power to take a physical shape and to become my armor. Slowly the golden flecks condensed and began to form the arm guard. The power pulsed and resisted me as I willed it to take shape. After several minutes of struggling with the power, the final piece of my armor formed and the power seemed to dull.

'Herald,' Tankyu no Unmei's voice sang in my head.

'Zanpakuto,' I replied as I turned about the room, examining exactly what needed to be done. My eyesight was sharp again, like I had been half blind before I activated my shikai. I could feel the ground underneath my feet as I moved, the particles of reishi registering in my head. I pushed the unneeded information to the side and tried to focus on what needed to be fixed. The scorch marks, the water damage, the splintered wood, the damaged fabric… I compiled a mental list of everything that needed to be done.

'She who suffers,' my zanpakuto's voice rang through my mind.

Her words made me hesitate for only a moment before I resumed my train of thought and started pushing power at the room. "That's a rather dark prediction," I mumbled as I watched the scorch marks on the wall vanish in a wisp of golden reishi. I felt oddly disconnected from myself emotionally. I was just too busy thinking about everything that needed to be done to bother with, well, being bothered.

'I could give you a lesser name if you prefer,' she taunted.

"One of those thousand names that have only a fraction to do with my actual prediction?" I asked her as I turned my gaze to watch the water stains melt from the floor in a sheen of gold.

'You assume correctly,' she replied. I could just hear the smirk in her voice.

"Well then," I said as I turned to my desk and focused on mending the damage that had been done to it. "Do I get any suggestions for how to handle my day?"

'I would recommend not dropping your shikai for some time,' she responded after a moment.

"Why?" I asked her as I closed my eyes and searched with my mind's eye for any other damage I had missed.

'You take too long to reign in our shikai,' she responded. 'Leaving it run will not change your fate, but it will, perhaps, ease the burden.'

"How long can I maintain shikai now?" I asked.

'Do you feel tired?' she responded.

"No, not at all."

'When you feel as though you will hit your limit, push for more. It is the only way you will grow.'

"Right," I mumbled. I turned my gaze to the closet doors and pulled them open with a thought. Inside, it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. My koto had been burned but otherwise was intact, the few kimonos I kept in my room were only slightly ruined, but the rest of the items seemed to have made it through without much damage done to them. I shifted through the items in my head and pulled the ones that needed repair, laying them out across the floor of my room.

I took to the fabrics first. Repairing the holes in the silk of my kimonos was easy so as soon as it was done I folded them in my mind's eye and placed them on top of my desk so I could box them later. Turning to my koto I pull its stands from the closet and set it up like I was going to play. I sat down beside it and ran my hand across the damaged wood. Most of the strings had been burned and had snapped, the varnish across the wood melted in places while in others the explosion had just warped the surface.

I pressed my hand to the wood and closed my eyes. I had never used my shikai on my koto before. Fixing things required an understanding of an object, but also knowledge of how it had originally worked. I couldn't just turn back time, but based off patterns in a substance I could take a pretty good guess as how it would go back together. Or, I could remake the object entirely like I often did with concrete. It really just depending on what I was doing, and now with this extra power, it didn't seem to bother me to do things

Pushing power through the instrument I repaired the wood, then the varnish and finally the strings. It took me longer than everything else had because I was so focused on getting it right. Unlike a wall, my koto had to be the perfect shape or it would never sound right.

The door to my room slid open with a heavy slap against the wall. I looked up, startled out of my focus on my koto. Captain Hitsugaya stood in the door way, his expression dropping from concerned to irritated. I just blinked at him for a moment before I turned back down to my koto, the feeling of disconnection between my head and what I should have been feeling making itself obvious. But, these strings just weren't giving me the right tension…

"What are you doing exerting so much spiritual energy in the middle of the barracks?" He asked in a demanding tone.

I didn't answer him, his words not really registering in my head, and continued to fuss over my koto.

I felt him walk across the room to stand on the other side of my koto, but I didn't look up as I started placing the bridges under my strings. It was difficult with my zanpakuto still in my hand. My sword hand was my main hand, the one I performed most of my strokes with. Without the use of my fingers and the worry of scratching the varnish I only got two in place before I had to stop.

"Ria," he said quietly.

"Captain," I responded in a similar voice as I looked around the room. I could retune my koto later. I needed to finish fixing things now before whatever suffering event occurred to ruin my day. There was so much to do… I shook my head. No, there wasn't anything left to do. I'd fixed everything in the room. I needed to move on. There was so much more that I could do with all this power.

He walked around my koto and knelt beside me. His hand pressed to my cheek as my eyes wandered in their search for something else that I needed to do. He turned my head so I had no choice but to look up at him. Captured by his eyes my entire focus shifted away from my surroundings and entire on him. Everything that was him filled my head from the shades of blue and green in his eyes to the scent of the mountains that faintly dusted his skin.

"Drop your shikai," he ordered.

"Tankyu no Unmei said that I shouldn't," I replied slowly. Focusing on words was difficult when there was so much of him to focus on.

"Why?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. "What is your name?"

"She who suffers," I responded. My thoughts trailed off the conversation and I brought my hand up to cover his, relishing in the warmth of his skin.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, his expression softening.

"Of course," I replied automatically.

"Drop your shikai," he said once more, this time his words coming out in a coaxing tone. "You can release it again once you aren't consumed by your own power." His other hand slid down the exposed underside of my sword arm, trailing over the golden chains that held my arm guard in place. I shuddered at the touch as his fingers brushed over the underside of my wrist to close over my hand. He gently started to pull my zanpakuto from my grip and I had to struggle to not fight against him.

"I'm not consumed," I defended dully. "I don't want to drop it. I don't want to be She Who Suffers." My hand tightened on my zanpakuto's hilt as I thought back to my zanpakuto's words. I hadn't thought about it earlier, but with only Toshiro to focus on the emotions I had pushed aside were starting to leak in.

"You have half of the squad sweating bullets from how much spiritual energy you are pushing out. Drop your shikai," he murmured. "Trust me."

My eyes widened and I released my zanpakuto. Instantly my armor dissipated into the air and my shihakusho regained its sleeve. My sense of my surroundings and my eye sight faded back to normal and I slumped forward with the lack of power. I pulled my sword hand away from my zanpakuto as he rested it on the floor behind me.

"I didn't know," I mumbled as I looked down at my hand with shock. "I didn't mean to do that. I never used to draw attention when I used my shikai. I'm sorry." I balled my hand into a fist and clenched it until my knuckles popped. Toshiro's hand covered mine, drawing my attention back to him.

"You don't realize just how powerful you are, do you?" He asked.

"I've always had to pour my energy into my zanpakuto," I replied as I turned to look in his direction. I avoided his eyes. I was still too embarrassed about what I had done to meet this gaze. "Even after last night, I just didn't realize…" my voice trailed off leaving my thought unfinished.

"You need to train more before you use your shikai like you were once able to," he said.

I nodded. "I should go apologize to the squad. I didn't mean to do that to them." I moved to stand, pushing my koto away gently as I moved. I knew I was thinking irrationally, but I was freaked out at myself. I knew that alone I had a strong spiritual pressure, but working with my zanpakuto instead of against her... Why had I used my shikai here? Why hadn't it occurred to me that it would distress the weaker soul reapers nearby? I was on my feet and walking across the room when a hand on my arm stopped me.

"What would you say Ria?" Toshiro asked as he pulled me back. I backed up instead of turning into him, not wanting him to see my expression.

"I-I don't know," I stated as I stuttered over my words.

"There's nothing to say," he replied. "You are their 3rd seat, Ria. If your power overwhelms them enough that they are sweating with the strain of being near, it's a good thing."

"How is that a good thing?" I objected.

I felt him move to stand just behind me. His hand brushed mine and I felt the metal of my zanpakuto's hand guard brush my fingers. I slid my hand into the guard and covered his as he held the hilt. "What is the one thing that everyone who has come after you has said?"

I swallowed back the lump in my throat before I could answer him. "That I am weak."

"You aren't weak," he murmured. "You lack control, but you aren't weak." His hand pulled back from underneath mine, slowly allowing my hand to replace his on the grip before his grasp was gone. I sheathed her in a slow but practiced motion.

"And now the whole squad knows," I said to myself.

"You are always worried that you don't deserve the 3rd seat in the squad," he said as he moved to stand in front of me. "Do you understand now why you were promoted?"

"Not really," I said as I cast my eyes to the side. "I could understand if I had this level of power when I was promoted, but I didn't."

"You've always been-" he hesitated and turned to face the door before he finished his sentence.

I opened myself to feeling spiritual pressures and heard myself gasp. It was him… I darted around Captain Hitsugaya and flash stepped out of my room and towards the offices. It was the stealth force guy's spiritual pressure, I just knew it. What was he doing here? Why was he in the office building? I felt more than saw Captain Hitsugaya as he passed me, darting into the building just before me. An explosion rocked the building as I stopped in the second-floor hallway and I watched as two bodies shot through a hole in the exterior wall.

I ran over to the hole in the wall and looked down to where I felt Captain Hitsugaya's and the stealth force guy's spiritual pressures. With all the dust from the explosion I couldn't see more than their general figures on the ground. I started to move to follow, but Captain Hitsugaya's voice cut through air.

"Ria help the others," he ordered.

I turned to look at the room and had to pause and let my eyes make sense of the mess. The office that I shared with several of the other officers was in shambles. Desks were over turned, papers and boxes strewn about the room in a scattered mess. I carefully moved into the room as I looked around for the other people that had been referred to. Walking into the room I started turning over desks until I spotted green hair in the corner.

Quickly moving to Amagi I flipped a chair that had been laying on top of him over and knelt at his side. I rolled him over onto his back and checked him for any wounds. He appeared to be unconscious, but otherwise I didn't see any wounds on him. I left him lying on the floor as I went to inspect the rest of the room. I found another squad member who I didn't recognize curled up in the corner who was also unconscious, so I pulled him from his spot to lay beside Amagi.

"What's going on?" someone called from the destroyed door way. I turned and saw several other squad members entering the room.

"Get these guys out of here," I said motioning to the two on the ground. I left them to do their thing as I rushed back to the hole in the exterior wall. They were fighting up in the air, zanpakuto and sword clashing as they attacked one another. I bit my lip as I debated on what I should do. My name could mean so many different things. There was no avoiding whatever was going to happen, but maybe I could at least prepare myself. I knew Captain Hitsugaya wouldn't want me to get involved in his fight, so staying down here was my best option.

"Amagi, what are you doing?" I heard one of the squad members say from the office.

"Repeat, Hanayume!" Amagi's voice bellowed. I turned, shocked that he had suddenly released his zanpakuto's shikai. He had just been out cold. Surprised shouts came from the room as I darted through the door. Pain flashed through my lower abdomen as the blade of a zanpakuto sank into my body. I blinked dumbly as I stared into grey eyes that didn't belong on Amagi's face.

"Amagi?" I asked in surprise. His expression lightened and he beamed at me as he pulled his zanpakuto from my body.

"I got you," he said, his smile widening into a grin. The wound was cold with the touch of his sword. I knew what he had done, or whatever had possessed him. His zanpakuto was a plant based one. He specialized in pollens and substances that occurred naturally in the world. Typically, he used poison in the air to slowly wither away his opponent's strength, but Repeat was another part of his shikai. Another, worse, version.

I watched as he lifted his sword, prepping for another strike. I reacted this time, pulling my own zanpakuto from her sheath and jumping back from him. I pressed my free hand into my stomach, feeling the puncture in my gut as I put pressure on the wound. Damn, it hurt. It was like an odd burning sensation was spreading from where he had stabbed me and through my body. The pain was that spready was slowly followed by an odd numb sensation that was robbing me of control over my muscles.

"Maebure no Shukufuku, Tankyu no Unmei!" I called to my zanpakuto. Power surged through me, dulling the burn as my armor began to form. He didn't wait for me to finish donning my armor, instead he launched at me with a flurry of strikes. I tried to block his attacks with my zanpakuto, but he ended up catching me on my unarmed side several times before I had to retreat. I darted through the hole in the building and flash stepped into the court yard. I landed on my feet, but quickly lost my footing and was forced down to my knees.

"Feeling it yet, Yamamoto?" Amagi asked as he jumped down from the second floor to land several feet away.

I clenched my teeth as I tried to focus on bringing my armor into its full physical form. I could feel it, the hallucinogen that coated his zanpakuto. It was working through my body just as fast as my heart could beat. If he had only managed the small cuts that parted my skin on my left arm I wouldn't have been worried about the effects, but he had nearly run his zanpakuto through me. I had seen him take down hollows that were ten times my size with this attack. There was no way that I could avoid suffering the same disorienting effects.

"No way," I lied as my armor closed over my breasts in completion. I came to my feet, but remained hunched over my wound. The obi of my armor had covered the wound, but I still held my hand over the injury, applying pressure as best I could despite the armor.

"What the hell are you doing Kyrouni?" Captain Hitsugaya barked as he clashed swords with the stealth force man. Amagi's head turned to look at him, giving him the same sadistic smile I had seen before on another man's face.

"Killing your 3rd seat, Captain," he replied.

I suddenly couldn't breathe as pain seized my chest. I knew it wasn't real. It was Amagi's shikai that was making me relive the pain. Hanayume's Repeat, the ability to make the target replay events in their life. On its own it was just something that made someone get lost in their thoughts, but he used it like a weapon to bring back the worst experiences that someone had gone through. I needed to make provisions to protect myself while I could still see what was real and not memories.

"Hyoryu Senbi!" Captain Hitsugaya shouted just before a wall of ice slammed down between Amagi and I. I looked up to where he stood in the air thirty or so feet up. He was looking down at us from the corner of his eye, his attention still focused on the stealth force man.

"Hado #54. Haien!" The stealth force man shouted abruptly.

Captain Hitsugaya didn't hesitate as a ball of purple energy shot towards him. He barely even moved when a wall of ice formed between him, causing the blast to crash into the ice and explode into a mass of red and orange flames on the other side.

Despite the distance between the flames and myself, I could feel the heat blast across my face. It momentarily snapped me out of the phantom pain I had been feeling and I used the opportunity to turn my own shikai on myself. I pulled reishi from ground beneath me and turned them into golden flecks as they touched my skin. I visualized the edges of my wound pulling together and being sealed by the golden bits of reishi and pushed my power at making it happen. I tried to keep from crying out as the golden reishi pulled at my wound, forcing the hole in my body to knit together.

Once the pain dulled to a pounding roar in my head I stood straight, wincing only slightly as my skin pulled against the temporary bandage. I let my hand drop from cradling my stomach as I stared at Amagi through the ice that separated us. Even with the enhancement my shikai had done to my senses, my vision was starting to become disoriented from his zanpakuto's drug. Despite that I could clearly make out the vicious smile that didn't belong on Amagi's face. Those foreign grey eyes that looked back at me were so similar to that man's on the festival night…

"You're not Amagi, are you?" I shouted so my voice would reach around the wall between us.

"Of course I am, Yamamoto," he seemed to tease as he over emphasized every syllable of my name. He flicked his zanpakuto sending a wave of mist from the edge of his blade that spread to cover his entire side of the wall. I knew it was some sort of pollen that he was whipping up, but what variety I couldn't tell. I watched as the mist grew until it had filled the area like a cup and began to leak over the top of the wall.

Stepping back, I pulled at the ground with my mind's eye as I made the motion to pull a hood over my head. The ground came up and over me, forming a room much like I had used during my first encounter with the stealth force man. This time though, I turned everything into pure reishi as I formed it. I had the power now. I didn't have to resort to reinforcing materials. I turned the room into the same armor that covered my body, forcing it to remain clear like a barrier so that I could see everything around me. I left no gap in my room, ensuring that I had completely sealed myself inside.

Just as the mist created by Amagi's zanpakuto came in contact with my walls Amagi appeared only a few feet away from my room. He reached out and tapped on the wall, his smile widening with each touch. "Soul Reapers are so much tastier," he said as he ran his finger over the surface of the wall.

The world seemed to buck under me as I was thrown back into a memory. I felt myself fall to my hands and knees, but in my head I was standing in a grouping of trees in the Human World. A small canine like hollow smiled at me with a toothy grin.

I was frozen to my spot, unable to move from the fear that paralyzed me. I needed to move. I needed to run. Why weren't my feet moving?

"Scared little soul reaper!" I heard Amagi shout, but it was like it had come from the hollow's mouth. I startled and began to run, but I crashed into something. I panicked, pushing at the wall with my hands until I saw my zanpakuto in my hand. When had I drawn her?

Pain shot through my chest as the hollow jumped on my back. I didn't have to look to know it had pierced my chest, stealing the air from my lungs. I fell to my knees as the pain rode me to the ground, my hand on the unseen wall the only thing from keeping me falling completely to the ground.

"Drop your zanpakuto Ria," I heard Amagi coax. "Drop it and I'll make the pain go away."

I shook my head as I gripped her hilt even tighter. The chains that kept my arm guard in place dug into my hand as I clenched her as tightly as I could. It wasn't real… None of it was real… Amagi wasn't Amagi. I couldn't listen to him.

"No," I growled out. My vision seemed to clear as I rejected what was happening. It wasn't real, it was all in my head. The phantom pain was still there, but slowly I could breathe easier. I pushed against the wall I was using for balance and clambered back to my feet.

"It's amusing that you're trying to fight back."

My mind snapped back into another place. My body was frozen with a bakudo, that man's face so close to mine as he snapped cold metal manacles around my wrists. The same smile that had been on Amagi's face flashed at me, those eyes sickly lit with a spark of crazy. But… this memory was wrong. My arms weren't trapped above me and my spiritual pressure was flowing through me without restraint. The sensations were all wrong.

"I just sealed your spiritual pressure. Now you can't fight back." His voice was wrong. It was Amagi's voice, not that mans… When his mouth crashed into mine I didn't feel the bite of his teeth cutting into my lip. I felt the gentle kiss that had over ridden the sense memory. The taste of the mountains on my tongue filled me with warmth instead of the fear that I knew had been intended.

I broke free from the memory with the knowledge that I had always been saved. No matter how bad my situations had gotten, he had always been there to save me. Anything that Amagi could say to bring of a memory always ended with him. He couldn't control me with fear, because no matter what happened I trusted Toshiro to be there until I was strong enough to be there for myself.

Finding a moment where I wasn't plagued by a memory, I spread my senses out. I let my mind become filled with information, no matter how irrelevant. I needed to become busy minded so these memories wouldn't affect me. I focused on the pollen in the air, grabbing each tiny bit with my mind's eye and forcing it down to the ground. Amagi didn't seem to notice what I was doing, his attention focused wholly on me.

"I will ruin you!" He cheered, trying to draw upon more of my memories.

His words didn't touch me. There was too much information to process for the twinge of emotions I had shoved into a corner to bother me. I turned to Amagi as I gathered my power to myself and pushed my emotions to the side. He couldn't control me. Before Amagi could realize that his control over me had failed I forced my room to break into portions of walls and the ceiling. He stumbled back as the wall between him shuttered with the force I had used.

"What the hell?" he exclaimed.

"Give me back my friend," I demanded as I slammed the walls down around him. He started to move as if to jump out of the box I was putting him in, but I slammed the ceiling down on the walls before he could move, trapping him inside. He let out a roaring scream as he whipped his zanpakuto around, releasing more substance into the air. The ground beneath him seemed to writhe as vegetation started to form in the dirt. Understanding that he was trying to root his way out I ate away at the reishi the composed the growing plants until the inside of the room was filled with golden flecks. With a small gesture of my hand I turned it into a floor for the room, cutting off his access to soil to grow his plants.

"You bitch!" He shouted as he turned to me. "I'm going to kill you Yamamoto. You'll wish you had never fought back with the torment I will cause you!" His fists slammed into the wall that separated us, his crazy eyes enriched with rage as he glared at me. "They won't recognize your corpse after I'm done with you."

"Shut up," I said as I stared blankly into his enraged face. I silenced the room, thickening the surface until his shouts were completely unheard with a push of power. He appeared to scream at me as he slammed his fists over and over into the wall, his knuckles splitting with the force. I gave him my back, trusting in my zanpakuto's power to keep him safely contained.

Captain Hitsugaya was descending from where he had been standing in the air when my eyes found him. His eyes were on me, but his attention seemed to be elsewhere as he walked towards me.

"Did he run?" I asked in a flat voice.

"Yes," he responded as his attention seemed to come back to his eyes. "His spiritual pressure has completely vanished."

I nodded in understanding. I closed my eyes and let my senses spread out for a moment, searching for his spiritual pressure on my own. I didn't feel anything but Amagi's presence, but even that felt wrong now that I could pay attention. Normally Amagi's spiritual pressure felt like warm rays of sunlight, but right now it felt tainted and dark. I pulled my senses back, wincing as my power fought with me.

"Will this box you've created remain if you drop your shikai?" he asked as I opened my eyes.

I turned to look at the container I had trapped Amagi in. "Yes. It's just reishi I reformed. He's not strong enough to break it."

He hummed his understanding.

Voices encroached on us from the surrounding buildings as squad members emerged from surrounding buildings. I had known that this all happened in the middle of the squad's grounds, but I hadn't associated the squad with our fight. The small corner I had shoved my emotions seeped back into my head as worry for them came to the forefront of my mind. I was thrown back into a memory for only a moment before I shook it off.

"Ria?" I heard Captain Hitsugaya ask from beside me.

"I'm fine," I quickly said. "Amagi's shikai is still messing with my head."

"Those cuts shouldn't have-" He cut himself off when I turned to fully face him, and held up my free hand that was still slick with my blood.

"He surprised me," I stated. "I temporarily sealed the wound, so I am fine for now. I don't know what happened to the other squad members in the room though. I was a bit distracted."

"Stay here," he said just before he turned and moved towards the squad members who were coming into the area. I watched his back as he gave out orders, sending groups of people in different directions. I felt my mind slipping into another memory and tried to catch myself, but ended up consumed by the feeling of fabric pressed to my cheek as I nuzzled my nose into his shihakusho. I closed my eyes as I realized what memory I had been pulled into. I held onto the memory as I slowly sheathed my zanpakuto, my hand slipping from her hilt as phantom rain drops slid down my skin. The dampness of his haori as the rain soaked into his back, my back as it pressed into the pillar, his hands as they held me so securely but gently. I knew that the memory was only a few moments in time, but standing here it felt like an eternity. But, I decided, I wouldn't mind this sort of suffering if it lasted forever.

'You're an idiot,' my zanpakuto's voice echoed through my head. I laughed quietly to myself.

"I suppose I am," I mumbled.

"You're what?" Captain Hitsugaya's voice said from in front of me. I almost didn't realize it wasn't part of the memory as I slowly opened my eyes. The memory lingered as I looked up to him. I laughed to myself as I started to step into him, but I caught myself as I suddenly remembered where we were. I had never so openly interacted with him in an informal manner in front of the squad. Starting now of all times seemed like a bad idea.

"Sorry," I said softly as I backed up. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind of the memory but failing to do more than disorient myself. "No shikai to push the hallucinogen back."

"Ono is handling things here until I get back," he said as he moved to my side. In one swift motion I was off my feet and cradled against his chest. "You need to sleep off the effects of Kyrouni's shikai."

I nodded as I relaxed into his grip. Who was I to argue with him if he wanted to pick me up. The feeling just pulled me into more flashes of memories which brought an involuntary smile to my lips. "You sure do pick me up a lot," I said with a laugh. I felt him move with a flash step and hid my face against his shoulder. "A girl could get used to this sort of treatment," I joked into his shoulder.

"You are quiet the handful," he commented as he transitioned from his flash step to walking.

"Only because you're there to save me," I teased. "Just imagine, if you hadn't saved me back in the Human World, you wouldn't have to put up with me now." I winced as the memories came back in a flash of pain that had me involuntarily curling in on myself.

"Think about something else Ria," He said as he pushed a door open with his foot.

"I know," I grumbled as I shuddered with the effort of forcing my body to relax. He knelt and set me down on my feet in Rangiku's spare room as I worked to find something else to focus on. He moved around to stand in front of me and I looked up to him, searching in what I could see for something else to focus on.

"How badly are you injured?" he asked. His question momentarily distracted me and I turned my eyes down to my waist. Carefully I brought my hands the edges of the pierced fabric and pulled it apart, ripping the hole bigger until I could clearly see where I had been stabbed. Golden threads of reishi spread over the skin like stitches that were holding me together. They didn't appear to actually pierce my skin, but rather looked like glue that wove over my skin holding the scabbing slice in my skin together.

"It hurts a bit," I said as I delicately ran my finger over the cut. The sharp pain I caused myself had me quickly pulling away from the wound, but considering how deep had been, I was pretty happy.

"I should make you go to Squad 4's infirmary," he said as his hands clasped over my hips to hold me still and knelt, his gaze focused on the wound. I watched him as he examined my wound until his eyes flicked up to mine. "This was your shikai?"

I nodded. "I was in a bit of a panic when I did it though."

He remained kneeling for another moment before he slowly stood, his gaze never leaving mine. "I need to get back to the squad, but I will be nearby. Sleep off the effects of his shikai Ria." He leaned down and presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head. "You know how to get my attention if you need to."

I nodded as he pulled away and headed for the door, leaving me alone in the room. I let out a long sigh and closed the door. He had more people to worry about than just me, so his leaving didn't exactly bother me. I couldn't always be selfish and keep him all to myself. He had other people that depended on him.

Moving about the room I changed out of my ruined shihakusho and cleaned the blood from my skin before donning a sleeping yukata. Rolling out my futon I struggled with random memories that pounced on me every time I thought about something that had happened. Even something as simple as making my bed had me stuck in the past. It must have taken me over an hour to actually lay down and longer yet before I started to nod off. I woke several times in the throes of a nightmare only to be drug back into another when I fell back asleep.

The last time I woke up though, it wasn't from a nightmare. Something touched my hand, startling me from the beginnings of another dream. Blearily I blinked up into darkness to see Captain Hitsugaya sitting beside my futon, his hand gently moving mine to where he could easily hold it. I squeezed his hand as my eyes slid closed, a relaxed smile turning my lips. Silently I thanked him as I drifted back to sleep…