Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Seireitei Monogatari ❯ Family Guy ( Chapter 56 )

Title: Family Guy

Characters: Kenpachi, Yachiru, Yumichika, Ikkaku

Rating: K+

Warning: Some Cursing
Words: 1203

Description: It was all Kurosaki's fault. Yachiru had been perfectly content before.

 

 

It was all Kurosaki's fault.

 

If he hadn't of gone and gotten married and had kids, then Zaraki Kenpachi would not have found in himself in this particular situation. But he had. And it had gotten certain individuals to thinking who should not have started, namely his vice-captain.

 

Now, here he was, tromping off to one of the orphanages in Rukongai, the citizens around him giving a wide, fearful berth. Not that he cared. Yachiru swung from his shoulder as always, excitedly kicking her feet as she imagined what was soon to come. Yumichika and Ikkaku trailed along behind him.

 

“Ken-chan, I want a little brother,” she had said to him the other day.

 

And well, Kenpachi never could deny her anything. He had learned quickly that denying turned to watery eyes and pouty lips and expressions of her displeasure that resulted in destruction. The last time he received a message from Yamamoto to “please, give her what she wants” had taught him that. It took several years for the twelfth division to recover, targeted only because she could readily find it, being next door and all.

 

Mayuri had only survived because of a passing Ukitake Jyuushiro, who claimed he had never heard such screams in his entire life. Kurotsuchi still twitched every time he saw Yachiru wandering around by her lonesome. Her cries of glee were known to make him spontaneously explode into a puddle of quivering goo, after which he would slink off to his rebuilt division to reform.

 

In any case, Mayuri's spastic attacks had nothing to do with where he stood right now. Yumichika sparkled gaily at his left side. Ikkaku scowled petulantly with his sword propped up on one shoulder to Kenpachi's right. And Yachiru still hung from him, chirping merrily.

 

“I'm here to adopt a brat,” Kenpachi rumbled.

 

Yes. He was at an orphanage in Rukongai.

 

Why?

 

Cause Yachiru wanted a damn brother. And apparently, dragging Renji in for occasional playtime wasn't good enough. Pay attention.

 

The matronly old woman who had answered the door was quivering as her eyes flitted between the four of them. Kenpachi, for his part, couldn't understand why.

 

He checked. Twice. Yes. He was still wearing the eyepatch. So why was the damn coward still--

 

Yumichika elbowed him. Hard.

 

“Taichou, stop glaring,” his fifth-seat insisted with another pretty sparkle. “It's unbeautiful.” A pause. “And you're scaring her.”

 

Despite the fact that no one told him what to do, Kenpachi conceded. Again, the threat of Yachiru's displeasure hung over his head.

 

He took a deep breath and tried for a pleasant smile, pulling his lips out wide. It ended up being a fang-bearing, rather ferocious grin. But hey, it was the thought that counted. Right?

 

The woman visibly recoiled, shrinking back into a grey-haired ball of fear. “We have several available for adoption,” she squeaked out, resembling Kurotsuchi before she cleared her throat. “Can you... Can you support them?”

 

Kenpachi was only vaguely affronted. Ikkaku looked like a ruffian, after all. It was to be expected.

 

“What?” he demanded with a snort, jerking a thumb towards his least tattered haori. “Does bein' a captain of the Gotei 13 not mean anything these days?”

 

Realization dawned. He noticed the moment understanding poured into her expression. Those wimpy eyes immediately shifted to Yachiru.

 

The brat waved wildly. “Hiya!” Yachiru declared. “I want a brother.”

 

Nodding very, very slowly, the woman turned on her heels. “Okay. This way… um, sir.”

 

Kenpachi grinned and followed, Yumichika and Ikkaku trailing behind.

 

His third-seat coughed into his hand. “Spoiled.”

 

“Rargh!” Yachiru bounded from Kenpachi's shoulder to Ikkaku's and promptly chomped on his head.

 

The old woman did a marvelous job of pretending she didn't notice the subsequent howls of pain or the attempts of human chew-toy removal.

 

Yumichika sighed prettily and examined his fingernails.

 

“Can't take you guys nowhere,” Kenpachi grunted, idly scratching his belly where a particularly itchy spot had attacked him.

 

The woman led them to a room where about ten kids were playing, all of various ages. Most looked up as they entered with vague interest.

 

“Would you like me to introduce you?” she so graciously offered, though it was clear she wasn't certain this was the best idea, only saying it out of politeness.

 

Heh. Manners. Worthless little things.

 

Kenpachi shook his head, tapping Yachiru on the face where she had returned to his shoulder. “Alright, brat. Pick one.”

 

“Yay!”

 

She bounced from his shoulder and into the midst of the brood, terrifying two into immediately bursting into tears and dashing behind the matronly woman. Che. Not those cowards then.

 

Yachiru put finger to her lips as she looked around, as if she thought she were in the middle of a candy shop. “Hmmmmmm.”

 

Three children wet themselves, most subtly trying to crawl from her. The older ones were very obviously backing away.

 

But not one brat. He just smiled guilelessly at her, waving one happy fist.

 

Yachiru grinned and picked him up. The boy giggled, burbling out a spit bubble.

 

“This one, Ken-chan!” Yachiru declared. “I like this one!”

He burped.

 

Kenpachi grinned. Of course, she would pick the one kid in the entire orphanage who had a spark of reiatsu. Though, how she had figured that one out was beyond him. Hell, he'd barely noticed himself.

 

Yumichika sighed again, obviously very bored since there were no men to woo and then subsequently destroy. “And here, I thought we had escaped those terrible years.” He and Ikkaku had arrived long after the potty-training, after all.

 

Ikkaku scratched his nose, looking side-long at the infant. Blood and saliva dribbled on his forehead.

 

“That brat looks strong.” The bald man gave a fierce smile. “I'll bet he'll kick ass.”

 

The woman shifted on her feet, trying to look as if she wasn't two steps away from calling security, even though she didn't have it. “Almost makes you want one of your own, ne?”

 

Ikkaku promptly choked, terror attacking him so quickly that it stole his breath.

 

Yumichika felt a tug on his hakama and promptly looked down. “Yes?” he asked, finding himself looking at a rather pretty little girl. Really, she could be his sister.

 

“Are you going to be my new mommy?” the child questioned, tugging on her neat and tidy dress, soft green eyes blinking up at him.

 

Yumichika's mouth dropped.

 

Kenpachi burst into laughter, sending the last two kids to wailing as Ikkaku dropped to the floor in hilarity.

 

Yachiru had asked the same damn thing the first time she saw Yumichika.

 

His fifth-seat was absolutely speechless, torn between indignation and feeling complimented.

 

Baby in hand, Yachiru chose that moment to bound up, offering her choice to her sort-of father. “See, Ken-chan?” she said, shoving the kid towards him. “He's strong!”

 

Kenpachi eyed the brat, big grey eyes and dark, dark hair giving him wayward thoughts of a certain Kuchiki captain. He warily accepted the kid into his arms, holding him up and giving him a once over. The baby promptly popped Kenpachi's nose with his fist and then giggled.

 

Yeah, okay. The damn thing was pretty cute.

 

He looked past the newest addition to his family and sniggered. “I'll take it.”

 

“Yay!”

 

*****