Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Seireitei Monogatari ❯ Wanted: Male, Single, Captain ( Chapter 60 )

Title: Wanted: Single, Male, and Captain

Pairings/Characters: Unohana/Hitsugaya

Rating: K+

Warning: Crack pairing

Words: 1066

Description: Because honestly, in her position, her choice of dates was limited.

Dedication: For Satan Junior no Super Hentai who requested a Unohana/Hitsu a lonnng time ago. I hope you like!

 

 

Unohana Retsu wasn't one to play around when there was a task to be completed. Therefore, when she began to feel a hint of loneliness, a tingle of longing, she knew that it was time to go over her options. In a purely logical fashion, very methodical as most doctors are want to do, she listed her choices and carefully narrowed it down to one.

 

She immediately dismissed anyone who wasn't at least captain level. Second-seats and below were likely to be intimidated by her power, not to mention other qualities. To that, she wanted to be able to speak to her potential companion on an intellectual level, and many of the lower seats were well… idiots.

 

Yamamoto-soutaichou was far too aged, if she wanted to be polite, for her to even consider a relationship. That didn't even cover the fact that he was her boss, and Retsu was far too wise to think that had a possibility of working out to either of their satisfaction. And he was old and growing rather senile, if she was completely honest.

 

Conversely, she had learned the hard and embarrassing way that she was not into other women, so Soifon-taichou was immediately checked off her list. Besides, even if she had been attracted to females, Retsu had the feeling that the perpetually grim and boring special forces commander would not be suited for her. She liked a little spice in her life, not someone as mind-numbingly dull and tedious as her paperwork.

 

Ichimaru-taichou had parental issues that Retsu didn't even want to delve into. He was nice in an ironic and almost sarcastic sort of way, but she didn't want the grinning man to develop any complexes, Oedipus or otherwise. She had enough problems treating her already existing patients; she didn't want to add a potentially unstable, love-struck captain to the mix.

 

Aizen Sousuke was too perfect, so much so that even she was intimidated by his friendly smile and oh-so-kind eyes. He was so humble that she felt downright egotistical next to him, and he had far too many other admirers for her to ever be completely at ease. Further, though she couldn't quite place the feeling, there was always a small undercurrent of not-quite-rightness that she associated with him.

 

Kuchiki Byakuya was still pining after his dead wife. A real shame since he was a rather lovely, if socially awkward, man. He had the most expressive eyes, completely belying his stoic outer surface. Not to mention that his hair was gorgeous, and she often fantasized about running her fingers through the silky, black strands.

 

Komamura-taichou was a kind individual, but unfortunately, Retsu couldn't get past the fact that he was not quite human. He made for an excellent friend and a steadfast companion, but she wasn't into fur or snouts, not certain how they would ever really work given their respective size differences. Not even in her much, much younger and wilder years would she have tried.

 

And from there came Tousen-taichou. Even if the man weren't blind, Retsu was certain that he wouldn't notice a naked women if she fell on him. Moreover, he only ever seemed interested in justice, which was a fine construct but not enough to keep a conversation alive after several hours. She still idly wondered if he and Komamura-taichou were friends because the seventh division captain could be asleep behind that mask and yet still act as if he were listening. Or perhaps Komamura Sajin was a glutton for punishment.

 

Retsu paused in her ponderings and looked back over her list. It appeared that she had forgotten the infamous Kyouraku Shunsui. Perhaps that was because a certain part of her mind blocked the man and his wayward hands out of a sense of self-preservation. His status as a lush was just as much a turn off, especially when considering all the times she had treated him for alcohol poisoning. In any case, Kyouraku-taichou was a definitive no, leaving her free to move along to the next choice.

 

Zaraki Kenpachi was… well, just saying his name was an explanation in itself. It wasn't that she disliked the eleventh division captain or his bloodthirsty, warlike ways. Honestly, the biggest mark against him as a potential date was Yachiru. Retsu was far too young to be anyone's mother, regardless of what others said behind her back, and besides, she mothered her own squad enough as it was. Plus, there remained the tiny detail that most of the eleventh was terrified of her, though she couldn't imagine why.

 

Kurotsuchi-taichou needed no explanation. She wasn't at all interested in becoming a lab experiment or witnessing any either.

 

Ukitake Jyuushiro was a kind and gentle man, who she was certain would treat her properly, but Retsu just couldn't see herself with him. The doctor/patient aspect of their relationship was extremely off-putting. There were only so many times she could treat his various ailments before they killed any and all attraction. Unfortunate perhaps, but that was the fact of the matter.

 

Looking at her list of cross-marks and heavy lines, Retsu sighed to herself. There was only one person left. She couldn't help but smile, wondering just how Hitsugaya-taichou would take the news. Little did he know, but he had a date for this Friday evening. After all, despite the fact that he was the youngest, he was the most mature of the lot. Calm, intelligent, a true gentleman. And she had to admit to finding his icy temperament just a little bit cute. Who could resist that almost pouty scowl?

Even better, the young captain had yet to be tainted by his older but not wiser fellows, teaching him all of the wrong ways to attract and please a woman. He could still be molded, shaped into a fine man, and all it would take was a little coaxing on her part. Plus, he seemed to appreciate older women, though Hinamori-fukutaichou was apparently a thing of the past, a fleeting childhood crush.

 

Her decision made, Retsu folded the piece of paper and hid it into her desk where no one would be able to find it, most certainly not her gossip-hungry third-seat.

 

It was time that she paid a visit to the tenth division.

 

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