Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Seireitei Monogatari ❯ Rukia's Dating Service - Ukitake (Take Two) ( Chapter 81 )

Title: Rukia's Dating Service - Jyuushiro (Take Two)

Characters: Ichigo, Ukitake Jyuushiro, Kiyone, Sentarou, Rukia

Rating: K+

Warning: Crackish

Words: 1354

Description: Ichigo discovers that there is one man in the world who has worst luck in friends than he does.

 

 

When Rukia handed him the letter from Jyuushiro, Ichigo was actually happy to receive it for once. He unrolled the parchment and glanced over the message, wondering how Jyuushiro managed to make kanji look elegant. The note was simple, an invitation for dinner to commence at the captain's division in a couple of nights. It was an apology, of sorts, for the ruined date earlier in the month.

 

Ichigo was all too willing to send a reply of acceptance in return.

 

Which was why he was currently sitting at a table with the thirteenth division captain, eagerly awaiting the meal being prepared in a nearby kitchen.

 

“Again, I'd like to apologize for the interruption we experienced last time,” Jyuushiro was saying, idly sipping at the tea that had been placed in front of him.

 

Ichigo shook his head, one finger pushing around his own cup, not really interested in the tea so much as the conversation. “Really, I can understand annoying best friends. I've too many of my own.”

 

Jyuushiro smiled at him. “You say that, but you know you wouldn't trade them in, just like I wouldn't trade my own irritating tag-along.”

 

The two shared an amused chuckle.

 

Sipping at his drink again, Jyuushiro redirected the conversation. “How is your training coming along?”

 

Ichigo groaned, covering his face with his hand. “Don't remind me. Kidoh is impossible.”

 

The older man chuckled as sounds from the kitchen began to filter in, the noise of pots and pans clanking and water running. “It only seems that way since it doesn't fit into your normal style of fighting. Believe it or not, Byakuya used to be terrible at kidoh.”

 

Ichigo scowled. “I don't want to be compared to him,” he countered, thinking none-too-fondly of the arrogant man that always succeeded in getting on his nerves.

 

“If you'd like,” Jyuushiro suggested, amusement flitting onto his face. “I can give you some pointers. It might not be my specialty like Ise-fukutaichou, but I'm sure I will suffice for a few lessons.”

 

Cheeks gaining a hint of a flush, Ichigo dipped his head. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

 

They shared another smile.

 

The clamor from the kitchen grew even louder.

 

Jyuushiro shifted position, ready to begin another topic. “I don't suppose you would--”

Whatever he was going to say was abruptly cut off as the door to the kitchen suddenly burst open, slamming into its slot with a loud bang. Both men jumped as noise invaded the room and its somewhat intimate setting, the sound of two voices rising louder and louder as they competed with each other to be heard.

 

“I'm the best at making rice, stupid monkey!”

 

“Ukitake-taichou likes mine better, moron!”

 

“I brew tea better!”

 

“No, I do!”

 

Two Shinigami, whom Ichigo vaguely recognized to be Jyuushiro's third-seats, tumbled into the room, both making a beeline for their captain.

 

“Ukitake-taichou!” they claimed in unison, pushing and shoving each other out of the way to be the first one there.

 

Ichigo heard Jyuushiro barely repress an annoyed sigh.

 

“Sentarou, Kiyone, is there a reason for the interruption?” he asked with infinite patience, though there was a tight clip to his tone.

 

“See? He said my name first!” the male stated smugly, folding his arms over his face.

 

The female rolled her eyes. “That doesn't mean anything, idiot!”

 

Jyuushiro didn't bother to hold back his sigh this time as his head fell to his hands, fingers rubbing against his forehead. “I apologize, Ichigo,” he said over the noise and din as it grew in volume next to him.

 

The substitute Shinigami looked at the two third-seats. “Actually, I think it's you that I feel sorry for,” he replied, wincing as Kiyone started to grow shrill.

 

In that moment, another presence joined the madness. Rukia burst onto the scene, managing to surprise all four people within the room.

 

“What do you think you're doing?” she demanded, grabbing them each by an ear and hauling them back towards the kitchen. “Can't you see you're spoiling the mood?” The last was practically screeched as she physically dragged them away.

 

The door was slammed shut behind the noise. A wall scroll rattled on its perch before giving up its tenacious hold and clattered to the ground.

 

Ichigo and Jyuushiro blinked at each other.

 

The door slid open once more. “Excuse me, Ukitake-taichou,” Rukia said sweetly as she stuck her head back into the sitting room. “I'm sorry for the noise. I'll get started on dinner right away. Orihime gave me this wonderful recipe.”

 

She smiled brightly and then promptly disappeared.

 

Jyuushiro took a deep breath, reached for his tea, and then grimaced when he realized it had grown cold. “That was... interesting,” he commented.

 

“I'll say,” Ichigo answered, a cold fear curling in his belly. “Did she say Orihime?”

 

There was a sudden thud from the other room. Something akin to black smoke began to curl out from the bottom of the door.

 

“Everything's fine!” Rukia's voice announced through the door. “Just enjoy your evening!”

 

Ichigo wanted to bang his head against the table. Jyuushiro looked as if he wanted to do the same, a pained expression taking over his usual patience.

 

“Is it just me, or does this happen often? To you, I mean?” Ichigo asked, gesturing with his head towards the possible chaos on the other side of the door.

 

“It's not just you,” Jyuushiro replied, part of him wishing that there were hard liquor in his tea. “This is the story of my life. When I was a child, it was my brothers and sisters. In the Academy, it was a bevy of giggling admirers and then later, Shunsui. As a captain, it was Shunsui. Even now, it's still Shunsui. Except I also get the added bonus of them.” He gestured towards the kitchen faintly. “It's enough to drive a person mad.”

 

To accentuate his point, there was another faint booming sound, following immediately by a loud apology.

 

Ichigo winced. “So I see.” He drank his tea, even though it was cold.

 

Then, the smell hit. Something very unappetizing. Somehow, it had managed to permeate through the door and float with noxious fumes to their noses. It certainly didn't inspire hunger in either of them.

 

Jyuushiro made a disgusted face. “I don't think I want to taste that.”

 

“I don't either.” Ichigo's stomach churned at just the thought.

 

A very familiar reiatsu began to head their direction, one that made Jyuushiro sigh in frustration and disappointment. He rose to his feet, prompting Ichigo to do the same.

 

“It appears Matsumoto's distraction failed,” he explained as the reiatsu came closer. “They probably ran out of sake. Those two together could drink a bar empty in a few hours.”

 

The two of them escaped from the nauseating smell through a side door, one that led to the back garden where they could breathe easier.

 

“You know,” Jyuushiro began as they stepped onto the porch, looking up at the night sky. “Perhaps it is better that we don't date. It doesn't seem like it's going to even be possible.”

 

Unfortunately, Ichigo had already come to that disappointing decision. He nodded. “Yeah, you're right.”

 

Jyuushiro smiled and leaned over, giving him a rather paternal peck to the forehead. “Though I can still help you with your kidoh, if you'd like.”

 

“I would.”

 

`Besides, it'll be nice to have an intelligent, rational friend for once,' Ichigo commented to himself.

 

There was a slam. “Jyuu-chaaaaan!”

 

Ichigo's sympathy for the thirteenth division captain rose by leaps and bounds. “You know,” he said. “You can still run away. He won't be able to find you in Karakura. I know a great place to hide.”

 

Dark eyes brightened with hope. “You think?”

 

Ichigo smirked. “I bet.”

 

Fifteen seconds later, when Shunsui appeared on Jyuushiro's back porch, he found it empty. His best friend was nowhere in sight. And there was a nauseating smell coming from the kitchen.

 

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