Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Seireitei Monogatari ❯ Musical Chairs ( Chapter 112 )

Title: Musical Chairs

Characters: Kira Izuru, mentions of others

Rating: K+

Warning: Massive speculation, AU-ish, Spoilers

Words: 2577

Description: If anyone asked why, Izuru's answer would be simple: only Ichimaru had ever really wanted him.

 

Izuru began his Shinigami career in the fifth division, recruited fresh out of the Academy along with Abarai-kun and Hinamori-chan. They all three had their beginning under Aizen-taichou, thrilled and honored by his choice. They worked hard to prove how worthy they were of his decision, Izuru especially.

 

Abarai-kun was the first to leave, better suited for the fighters of the eleventh. Hinamori-chan stayed, rising quickly through the ranks. And Izuru was left watching himself standing stagnant as those he knew grew in power and he stayed the same. He heard of Hisagi-senpai's ascension to the lieutenant's seat and wondered if he would be able to follow in his path.

 

And then, Aizen-taichou transferred him to the fourth. His captain thought that Izuru would be better served there, kind and gentle as he was. And though his kidoh was very good, it wasn't quite the level he needed to rise in the ranks of the fifth. Disappointed, Izuru obeyed the transfer.

 

It wasn't long after that the Gotei-13 celebrated the ascension of a captain. Ichimaru-fukutaichou had become Ichimaru-taichou, captain of the third division. Izuru could still remember the sight of the silver-haired man, striding into battle and easily dispatching the Hollow that had attacked them.

 

He held Ichimaru-taichou in much the same regard as Aizen-taichou, though Hinamori-chan had always thought him odd for it. She called Ichimaru-taichou “creepy.” She said that it wasn't even his eyes that bothered her, but his smile because it was so fake. A part of Izuru agreed, but a larger part was in awe of Ichimaru-taichou's abilities. The Gotei-13 was full of odd people, after all.

 

Izuru liked the fourth division. He learned much under Unohana-taichou's tutelage. And he was very good at what he did. He could heal wounds, large and small, and he was a great asset on the battlefield. He could sympathize with the wounded.

 

In the end, however, he wasn't suited for the fourth either. He didn't have the heart of a healer, Unohana-taichou told him gently. He had a noble disposition and gentle hands, a smile that could lighten any heart, but he still wanted to fight. His blood still burned to be on the battlefield. The sound of a Hollow's roar made his limbs tremble in anticipation.

 

Unohana-taichou suggested the eighth, where he could flourish under Kyouraku-taichou's leadership and yet keep his gentle heart. Even Izuru knew he wasn't suited for the eleventh. Perhaps he would be more inclined to numbers and records and keep his interest in the battlefield.

 

Ise-fukutaichou was stern but had a soft side. He watched as she and Kyouraku-taichou interacted often, thinking it was much like a father and daughter in many respects. Izuru didn't really take Kyouraku-taichou's adulations seriously. And neither did Ise-fukutaichou. Their behavior made him think of his own family sometimes, and it was comforting. He liked the eighth, and Izuru thought that he could've been satisfied there.

 

But he heard rumors then of Hinamori-chan rising faster through the ranks. She was nearing the second-seat at a surprising pace. Aizen-taichou was pleased with her growth. And even Abarai-kun. He was making a name for himself in the eleventh. He was finding his place. Izuru thought that like his fellow students, he had found where he belonged as well.

 

Not even a year after his transfer into the eighth, Izuru was abruptly reassigned without any sort of explanation or prior warning. He woke one morning to find the papers waiting for him, urging haste. And he had to report to his next division within an hour of receiving it. Izuru hadn't even known that a transfer could be enacted so quickly.

 

Fingering his shihakushou, which he would have to rip out the tag on the inside and change it again, Izuru promptly dressed and reported for duty as ordered. And when he passed Kyouraku-taichou and Ise-fukutaichou on his way, he couldn't quite describe the look in their eyes.

 

Kyouraku-taichou just smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, his words somehow sounding hollow. “Jyuu-chan needs a good worker like you,” he said, squeezing him warmly. “I know you'll suit the thirteenth very well.”

 

Izuru could only smile and nod because he couldn't exactly argue with his superior. He had to do as he was told.

 

“Thank you, Kyouraku-taichou, for taking care of me as well.” And with a parting bow, he excused himself, something like betrayal stirring inside of him.

 

That was the first time he'd had the feeling that no one seemed to want him. He had immediately dismissed the thought. It was preposterous. He simply hadn't found his place yet; that was all. And with the Gotei-13 still shaken by the events decades before he entered the Academy… well, no one really knew what was happening.

 

The thirteenth division was not much different than the eighth. He thought that Kotetsu-san's and Kotsubaki-san's arguments were charming because they obviously cared very dearly for their captain. And they actually did need his help there. Ukitake-taichou was sick often, and there was a lingering sense of loss over the entire division. Everyone had loved Shiba-fukutaichou and his wife.

 

The vacancy in the second-seat called to Izuru, and he was beginning to think that he was ready for it. He was perhaps the most rounded out of his fellows. And he rose quickly through the ranks. He found himself in the seventh-seat within record time, his smile and charm befriending many of those in the division. He even made acquaintances of Abarai-kun's dear companion, Kuchiki Rukia.

 

And on a day that Ukitake-taichou was feeling better, he called Izuru to his office. Izuru thought that maybe this was his chance, that he could rise higher still and gain that much coveted position. Instead, he met Ukitake-taichou's apologetic expression.

 

“I'm sorry,” he said as gently as he could muster, looking both pale and weak. Despite needing rest, he had insisted on working that day. “You are skilled, Izuru-kun. Very talented in everything. Kidoh. Hakudo. Healing.”

 

“But?” Izuru felt his heart drop into his stomach as his fingers clenched around his knees; he knew what the apology meant.

 

Dark eyes were sympathetic, warm and soft. “You are wasted here, Izuru-kun. I am not ready for a fukutaichou, and you are most definitely prepared to be one.”

 

His shoulders sagged, having suspected as much. “Where?” he asked and hated that it came out so defeated. Perhaps a bit bitter.

 

Ukitake-taichou blinked and reached for one of the papers on his desk, handing it over. “The sixth. Byakuya-kun has far more openings than I do.”

 

And what could Izuru do but take the transfer with the same quiet dignity he had accepted the others. He couldn't argue; it wouldn't do him any good. And he understood the pain behind Ukitake-taichou's decision. It wasn't easy to lose one's dearest friends to a Hollow, especially in that matter. He supposed he couldn't fault Ukitake-taichou for that. Even if it did feel like a rejection.

 

In the end, however, his stay at the sixth division was the briefest of his tenures within the Gotei-13. Izuru wasn't sure if he was proud or disappointed.

 

There was a coldness to the sixth, perpetuated by the social enigma that was its captain. They stood strong on formality, which Izuru was very capable of obeying, and the rules were strictly followed. And of course, Izuru had heard the rumors, had known what Kuchiki-taichou had lost. He didn't have a heart of stone, just the composure of one.

 

Izuru's only comfort was that his next transfer came along with a promotion. To the third-seat of the tenth division, where he labored under Matsumoto-san and the recently appointed Hitsugaya-taichou. He had tried and failed to hide his disappointment at being reassigned so quickly yet again. Even though Kuchiki-taichou had needed a vice-captain, he hadn't wanted Izuru, and that stung.

 

It was a rejection he wasn't sure how to accept. Hisagi-senpai - vice-captain in his own rights - had assured him that Kuchiki-taichou didn't really like anyone, and he shouldn't beat himself up about it. That he was even under pressure from the captain-commander to make a decision or have it made for him. And Hinamori-chan was supportive, too, kindly urging him on with an encouraging smile.

Neither of them understood how Izuru felt. They hadn't been tossed from division to division like a piece of unwanted garbage. And even Hinamori-chan had found her place, finally taking the lieutenant seat empty in her own division. They were all leaving him behind, all but Abarai-kun. But even he had only moved once and to a place that suited him all too well. He was making friends in the eleventh; he was growing stronger.

 

And Izuru, he felt as if he had stagnated. Even Wabisuke was disgusted, and he shared the sentiment with his zanpakutou. Bankai seemed so far out of his reach that he hadn't even considered it.

 

That brief earlier thought that no one wanted him, returned full force. It whispered in his ear, bringing up facts and figures. He couldn't even count the number of divisions he had served in on one hand anymore.

 

It was odd serving under what amounted to a child. Matsumoto-fukutaichou seemed to handle it just fine, so Izuru thought that he could, too. But there was still no room for advancement, not for him. Matsumoto-san seemed comfortable in her position, displaying no desire to grow stronger. And Izuru stared longingly at her seat, wondering if everything the other captain's had said about his abilities were just lies to cover up how willing they were to dismiss him.

 

Languishing in the tenth with nowhere to rise, Izuru just floated by his day to day routine. Positions were being taken to the left and right of him in every division, and the world moved on.

 

And then, everything changed.

 

In the midst of practicing his squad at the tenth division training arena, Izuru had felt eyes watching him. Turning, he spied Ichimaru-taichou standing in the doorway, observing him. Blinking in surprise, Izuru hastily lowered his zanpakutou and bowed.

 

Folding his arms into his sleeves, Ichimaru-taichou quietly entered the room. “Pardon th' intrusion,” he put in with an ever-present smile on his face.

 

Izuru shook his head, straightening. Wabisuke was returned to his sheath with a quiet slide of metal upon case.

 

“I was almost done, sir. Are you looking for Hitsugaya-taichou?”

 

“Actually,” the captain replied, coming to a stop right in front of him, “I was lookin' fer you.”

 

He blinked and had to lift his eyes to meet Ichimaru-taichou's slitted gaze. “Me, sir? Why?”

 

“The third needs a fukutaichou.” He tilted his head to the side, white haori making a quiet swish over the polished wood flooring. “And I think Izuru-chan's perfect fer the spot. Ya interested?”

 

Izuru suddenly found it difficult to breathe, completely speechless. It was another transfer, true. But this time, he was actually wanted. Needed even. Ichimaru-taichou had come for him personally.

 

The captain seemed to take his silence the wrong way, grin faintly faltering. “Yer not?”

 

“No,” Izuru replied. And then, shook his head, bewilderment making him less eloquent than usual. And somewhere, he must have forgotten all manners. “I mean, yes.”

 

Ichimaru-taichou's smile abruptly returned, widening in amusement. “Which is it?”

 

He could barely hide his excitement, his pride. Everything he had been working hard to accomplish, it finally meant something. His dedication and his patience, it had been for a reason. Izuru had finally found his niche.

 

“I'm interested,” he replied perhaps a bit too hastily. “I am honored that you would give me this opportunity, sir.”

 

It was as simple as that. By the next week, Izuru was standing in the empty quarters for the third division lieutenant and imagining what could fill the space. He fingered the vice-captain's badge, only worn on special occasions, the symbol etched into the thick wood. Congratulations had been in order then, and his friends had made sure to commend him on his accomplishment.

 

Ichimaru-taichou smiled at him, called him “Izuru-chan.” He taught him advanced kidoh and teased him with piles of paperwork. They worked together in battle, and Izuru lived for Ichimaru-taichou's praise. He was bound and determined to prove to his captain that his choice would not give him regret.

 

He dismissed Hinamori-chan's earlier comments about Ichimaru-taichou's oddities. There wasn't a single Shinigami in the Gotei-13 who wasn't strange in some way. They were like friends, partners, understanding each other in all things. Izuru thought that he was becoming stronger, always admiring the one person who had given him a chance when no one else would willingly.

 

Izuru was happy. He was content. He thought that he'd found where he belonged. He was no longer the unwanted Shinigami, shifted from division to division. He was needed. He had purpose. And Izuru was satisfied.

 

Nothing ever lasted forever, however. As a Shinigami, Izuru knew that especially. And his content was short-lived, evanescent as all things in his life.

 

This time, it was Ichimaru-taichou who left him. Who rose into the sky, leaving Izuru behind. He was still in the same division, but it wasn't the same. Not without his captain. It felt like abandonment, stung like betrayal. And Izuru was left lost again, drifting without direction. No one understood, and no one tried.

 

There was sympathy, of course, something given because it was expected. There was encouragement and brief mentions of hope and anger, trying to promote growing stronger. They talked of Ichimaru-taichou freely, insulting him and promising revenge and a swift defeat. Only Izuru was thinking that was far from what he wanted.

 

Many would consider him a traitor. He was sure that was what they would whisper when they found his empty quarters in the morning. When he didn't show up for duty as vice-captain - not acting captain like Hisagi-senpai. But Izuru had made his decision.

 

He didn't feel guilty for the device he had borrowed from the twelfth division, never to be returned. It was a small thing, only strong enough for one person to open one gate. He didn't feel apologetic for abandoning the third. They were strong; they would make it. And they would get a new captain soon enough; Izuru had heard the rumors. Something about a long-range patrol returning and captain-level reiatsu.

 

They didn't need him.

 

Izuru stepped onto bone-white sands, the spires of Las Noches visible in the distance. He was nervous. A bit unsure out here, where the Hollow were rampant and wouldn't hesitate to kill a Shinigami. He hadn't worn his shihakushou, but his reiatsu made it clear just what he was. As did the zanpakutou tucked into his obi.

 

He had made his decision, however. And there was no turning back now. There was only one place that he belonged, and it was here. By Ichimaru-taichou's side.

 

Even if he had to become a traitor to do it.

 

- - - - -

 

AN: Inspired by recent chapters and Kubo's complete inability to keep a consistent timeline.