Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ She Will Be Loved ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

She Will Be Loved

 

By Tituba

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.

 

(A/N: I know it's killing most of you to keep reading this story and I'm semi-sorry, not really, I really think the anger/confusion I'm making people feel is telling me that this story is really hitting a certain spot in people. And yes, this is IchiRuki.

 

So thank you to everyone who continues to read my story and continues to review, I want everyone to know that this is the story that has given me the most eclectic reviews ever! It's very exciting!

 

I'm updating early because I have 50+ reviews; the whole time I had 49 I kept on thinking of adding one myself just so I could update sooner. So this is my present to you.

 

This is probably the chapter you've all been waiting for.)

 

Please enjoy and tell me what you think!

 

 

 

 

Chapter 6

 

Rukia spent the entire night mulling over what Karin had said about Orihime. Her walk back to her house was brisk and quick and the entire time she had had her bottom lip between her teeth.

 

“Besides, I don't even like Orihime-chan all that much. She's stupid.”

 

Rukia frowned slightly and crossed her arms over her chest. Did Karin and Yuzu really not like Orihime that much? I mean, the girl was a bit dim but she was easily likeable… well, except to people like Rukia, who wanted someone with an actual brain to talk to. Her frown turned into a scowl and she sighed, she honestly wanted to know how Ichigo even put up with all of Orihime's prattle.

 

She continued her walk and thought about how dinner with Orihime at the Kurosaki house might be. She imaged many over-exaggerated hand gestures and loud laughs, she saw her creating weird combinations of Yuzu's wonderful cooking and her gasping at Isshin's lewd jokes, she could see Ichigo blushing slightly at Orihime's behavior and his sisters pretending to laugh.

 

Rukia smiled softly as she remembered nights with Ichigo and his family. Nights when she was the one invited to dinner and Orihime wasn't. She was so comfortable around them that she would joke freely with everyone at the table, Ichigo would repeatedly kick her underneath the elaborate feast when she told some embarrassing story about him, Karin and Yuzu would share stories about their school with her, they would keep her in the loop about what boys they liked or who Karin was playing against in soccer. She was the extended version of their family. She loved it.

 

But now… she hadn't been over to their house in months. She kept on making excuses, brushing them off, finding out ways to avoid them… all of them. She didn't want to. She just couldn't face him outside of school. She couldn't face him in the places she and he had the most history. She simply couldn't stand it. She felt that each time she saw him sitting at his desk, eating at the table, sitting in the island, or playing with his sisters… all of it simply made her want to cry.

 

She came through the door and called to Haji. When he didn't answer she frowned, Haji always greeted her when she came through the door.

 

She walked into the kitchen and asked one of the cooks if they had seen Haji anywhere. They simply shook their heads and went back to preparing dinner. She thanked them and continued searching.

 

She ended up finding him in the study. As she opened the door she heard Haji's soft voice on the end of the telephone.

 

“Yes. I'll give it to her. Tomorrow. Yes. Oh Kuchiki-san!” He turned, noticing Rukia standing in the doorway, a tiny frown upon of her face; he held up a finger and motioned her to wait. “Yes. Thank you. Of course.” Haji paused slightly. “Yes. I understand.” He murmured and hung up the phone.

 

Rukia's frown deepened. “Who was that Haji?” She asked calmly.

 

Haji smiled at her charmingly. “Kuchiki-sama.”

 

The frown disappeared and her eyes widened. “Byakuya? Why?”

 

“He has a letter that's coming. He wants me to give it to you. Just making sure is all.” Haji smiled at her and came towards the door. “Come on Kuchiki-san, it's nearly time for dinner.”

 

Rukia shrugged and nodded. Muttering a `whatever' before following Haji to the dining room.

 

The next morning, Rukia woke up in a mood much like the one she had walked to the park with. She felt lighter, better, and just a bit more content with just about everything. As she dressed for school she hummed a little tune that Hisana used to sing to her when she was small and had nightmares. Rukia buttoned up her shirt and sighed, maybe she'd call Hisana. It had been a while since she had last called her. Maybe she could even come up and visit her. A small smile graced Rukia's face and she nodded, yes, she would pick a weekend to go to Tokyo and see her family.

 

She missed them.

 

Rukia walked elegantly down the steps, it was something Byakuya always told her to do, he told her that no one enjoyed listening to someone clomping loudly down the steps. She came into the dining room and greeted Haji like normal. He smiled and pushed a plate of eggs towards her. They ate in silence, well, she ate anyway, Haji never ate with her even though she asked him to repeatedly. It was like asking him to call her Rukia instead of `Kuchiki-san' all the time.

 

As she left to go to school, still in a rather good mood, Haji walked up to her and pressed a letter into her hands.

 

Rukia looked up at him with a confused expression. Haji smiled at her warmly, “Kuchiki-sama asked me to give this to you.”

 

“Do you know what it is?” She asked, frowning a bit.

 

Haji shrugged, “Not really. He simply called me and told me to give it to you.”

 

Rukia nodded. “Okay,” she smiled at Haji, “I'll read it later. It probably has something to do with some French test I failed.”

 

Haji chuckled, “Since when have you ever failed a French test, Kuchiki-san?” He turned to go into the house, “Have a lovely day at school.”

 

Rukia waved at him and bounded off to school, the letter inside of her hand.

 

The school day flew on as normal, Rukia went to class, avoided Ichigo, glared at Orihime, and attempted to do some of her class work. She simply didn't want to. Days like today were rare at this time in her life. Days when she felt that something in the universe was working in her favor barely came anymore. She truly wanted to cherish this day. She wanted to do something that would extend it: go to the zoo, play in the park, or shop at the mall… she didn't know what; she simply wanted to go and do something.

 

The letter lay forgotten in her backpack.

 

Lunchtime came as expected and Rukia walked out of the classroom with her friends. Ichigo and Orihime were before her, holding hands this time, and Rukia told herself not to look. She was in too much of a good mood to spoil it by looking. Keigo, as usual, was telling a very animated story about a few thugs who attempted to mug him a few nights ago, Orihime was giggling, Chad was staring off into space, and Ichigo and Ishida were in a discussion over why sewing could or could not be considered an actual manly activity.

 

Rukia trailed behind, her small hands clutching her bag to her side and her stomach growling slightly. She smiled softly and shrugged, at least she was hungry.

 

She stopped by her locker and let everyone go on ahead to the lawn for lunch before her. She stuffed her bag into the small metal compartment and turned her head to watch her friends retreating backs. Ichigo's orange head of hair towered above Orihime's and contrasted with Ishida's black locks. Keigo's arms were waving about in another crazy story and Chad's huge build was casting a large shadow over everyone else.

 

She sighed softly and placed the books she needed inside her locker but felt a small crunch when her hand dug back inside of her bag. Frowning, she pulled out the letter Haji had given her this morning and shrugged.

 

Might as well.

 

Her small fingers smoothed out the thick envelope and her eyes rested briefly on the Kuchiki seal placed on the very front of the cover. She opened the envelope slowly, remembering how it was her sister who had shown her how to open envelopes without tearing them in the slightest.

 

The paper was thick and a light shade of beige. Rukia first held it up to the light to see the Kuchiki watermark and immediately knew that it was something of grave importance. Her eyes flickered towards the letter itself and she noticed that it was hand written. Her eyes widened slightly and she noticed her brother-in-law's handwriting.

 

Curious, Rukia read the letter.

 

Dear Rukia,

 

It pains me to say that your sister, Hisana, passed away two weeks ago. The funeral has already been held. She has been buried in the Kuchiki family cemetery in Tokyo. We will arrange an appropriate day for you to come and pay your respects at a later date.

 

My condolences,

 

Byakuya Kuchiki

 

Rukia blinked once. Twice. Thrice. She read the note once again. Then once more. And again. One more time.

 

The pit of her stomach no longer existed. If it did, the white hot feelings of dread and fear would have erased it completely. Her heart was beating so fast she didn't know what was happening. Her head was spinning. She touched her face, it was wet, her eyes were burning with discomfort. Her mouth was trembling. Her entire body was shaking. Everything about her felt wrong. Everything she knew was wrong. This was not right. Hisana wasn't dead. She couldn't be. Hisana had always been alive. Always. She couldn't be dead. Hisana was the rock in her life. She was the one person that Rukia always knew would be there. She wasn't dead. She wasn't gone.

 

But his handwriting, his words, the two tiny drops of dried liquid smudging the greeting… everything about that said that Byakuya was telling the truth. After all, this was Byakuya. This was the cold, pragmatic, non-negotiable Byakuya… if he said… if he said…

 

Rukia stumbled back into the classroom, her bag swinging wildly at her side, her lungs seemed to be constricting as she sat back down in her desk, her head lowered, her body numb.

 

She couldn't feel a thing. She simply stared.

 

Was this how grief was supposed to be? This feeling that made her unable to hear anything but her slow breathing, see nothing more than hollowed grey's and blacks, smell stagnant chalk on the board, and feel the veneered wood beneath her fingertips? She had never known grief before. Was this what it was supposed to be? She didn't understand. The words of the letter were haunting her. They were taunting her in her mind and causing her head to spin. Her mouth was dry and her stomach churned. She might be sick. No, there wasn't anything to be sick with. She gasped at the thudding in her chest and vaguely reminded herself that she needed to continue breathing.

 

It pains me to say that your sister, Hisana, passed away two weeks ago.

 

Two weeks. What had she been doing two weeks ago? Probably moping over Ichigo. Her sister had been dying. She died. And she was too wrapped up in her own problems to notice.

 

The funeral has already been held.

 

Of course the funeral had already been held. Byakuya would have arranged it the moment her sister expired. He probably kept her away because he did not want to grief to interfere with her studies. What was he thinking?

 

We will arrange an appropriate day for you to come and pay your respects at a later date.

 

How could he think that she wouldn't want to see her own sister? How could he do this to her? To see her face one last time before she was burned for all eternity. To catch a glimpse of her skin, her hair, her eyes.

 

My condolences.

 

He probably tried to protect her. Protect her from the pain of seeing Hisana's lifeless eyes, eyes that were once lively and happy. He probably tried to shield her from the pain of seeing her pale skin, her frail body, her bones poling through her translucent skin. He was trying to save her. Save her.

 

She didn't want to be saved.

 

She wanted Hisana.

 

Somewhere in the back of her mind the bell rang for lunch to end. The teacher came back into the room and barely glanced at Rukia. She didn't mind. Rukia wanted nothing more than to be invisible right now. She didn't want to be seen by anyone.

 

Slowly, the rest of the class filtered in. She saw some of her classmates sighing happily from satiated stomachs while others complained about still being hungry. They joked, laughed, smiled, teased, and giggled their way to their seats. She saw how they came into the room with their shining auras.

 

It broke her heart each second.

 

She heard a few of her friends calling to her as they saw down in their seats but she ignored them completely. Or… she didn't hear them. She was pretty sure she didn't hear them.

 

For the rest of the day her mind was completely absent. Each moment was filled with Hisana… Hisana… Hisana. Always Hisana. Never Hisana. She was gone. She was gone.

 

She wasn't gone though. She was dead. She wasn't somewhere that she could return from. She was just dead. Dead. She was not coming back.

 

It started to rain. Just as Haji predicted. Buckets. It was as of the gods were crying for Hisana. They were shedding the tears that she couldn't. Not yet. Dear God she wanted to cry… but not yet. Here wasn't the place.

 

Class was over. She distantly heard the bell ring. She simply couldn't bring herself to listen to anything. She stumbled outside. She didn't bother to wait for anyone. She could barely see anything more than the steps in front of her. Her fingers ran against the lockers as she walked. She bumped into more than a few people but she didn't apologize. She didn't want to be the proper Kuchiki princess right now. She needed to be normal. She needed to grieve, cry, shout, scream, sob… anything.

 

She burst out of the double doors to the school and shivered slightly. Her eyes blinked constantly as she tried to focus. Tried to do anything normal.

 

She stumbled down the steps a bit but didn't go any further than the protective alcove that kept the torrents of rain from falling upon her shaking body. Her hand went to the railing. She tried to support herself but her knees buckled softly.

 

She heard a laugh come from behind her. In the distance of her mind she knew it was Orihime. That stupid girlish laugh was permeating her brain. It was suffocating her. She hated it. She couldn't hear it now. Not when Hisana was dead. Not when Ichigo didn't love her. Not when her life was falling apart right before her very eyes.

 

She must have been hiding her emotions much better than she thought. She could do that though, many years in the Kuchiki family taught her how to be stoic and poised, her mind wandered bitterly for a moment and she briefly snorted in disgust. She'd have to thank Byakuya for that later.

 

Something warm brushed across her arm but she didn't look up. She couldn't look up. Her head felt so heavy. Maybe it was all the tears bottled behind her eyes. The weight was excruciating.

 

She heard Ichigo, Orihime, Ishida, Chad, and Keigo laughing beside her. Occasionally she saw someone look over in her direction and ask her what was going on. She didn't answer and they simply shrugged, looking away. She had been so dour for so long, she doubted they even noticed.

 

Something brushed against her arm again with more insistence than before. Her head began to rise slowly, she blinked many times, she needed to be able to see something other than Hisana's face. Her smiling, simple, beautiful face…

 

It was Ichigo. Her stomach lurched once more and she felt her bottom lip quiver. He wasn't looking at her though, his left arm was intertwined with Orihime's and she was tugging it slightly. She was speaking to Ishida though and she didn't notice a thing. He was simply staring at the ground, his whispering mouth very close to her ear.

 

“I need you tonight.”

 

Rukia's mind shrieked in hellish agony. Her heart churned with disgust. Her blood ran rancid through her veins. Her lungs constricted painfully. She was shaking as though an earthquake were racking her body alone. There was no way to measure the pain she felt as his words. Nothing to control anything.

 

She reached her hand up, she didn't know why, she could hardly tell why she was doing anything anymore, and wrapped it solidly around the back of his head. It seemed like it took forever for her to force his mouth down upon hers, but in reality it was only a few seconds. Ichigo's lips were parted in surprise and Rukia took complete advantage of it. She didn't know why she was doing this. She didn't know why she couldn't just let it go like every other time. She didn't know.

 

But at this moment, in this point in time, when everything—everything—had been taken from her, Ichigo demanded more!

 

He wanted her body when he had her heart, he wanted her form when he had her soul. She had laid everything before him and he rejected it. He rejected her. Not now. Not now when she needed comfort and support and love from him. He had never been there for her yet she had always been there for him.

 

It was his mother's death that drove him to her bed. She never refused him. She never told him no. She had consoled him during his darkest hour. Now she was in her own pit of hopelessness and he dared to ask her for more.

 

How dare he.

 

So now, when everything was crumbling around her and he had the nerve to continue to take… she was going to take back.

 

Everything that he had worked for, his image, his appearance, his attitude… she would bring down with a fatal kiss. She would show that prattling Orihime that the boyfriend she always dreamed to be perfect was not. She would show any who cared to watch how deeply twisted and wretched he was. She would shout and scream it to the heavens. Then she would retreat and watch their stunned faces and know that she, Rukia Kuchiki, would not be taken any longer.

 

Her lips moved against his in surprise as her tongue invaded his mouth. She quickly tasted him. Reveling in the power and pain she felt as the gasps around her permeated her ears and flushed into her mind. She heard the sputtering of Orihime and the surprise of Ishida and the resonating whoosh of air from Chad and the histrionic squeal from Keigo.

 

Yet she did not pull back. She clawed her fingers into his neck and dove into him once more. Her sobs permeated the kiss and she finally pulled away. Everyone around them stood in silence as she released the hand from his nape and used it to slap him across the face. The sound resonated and finally Rukia released the tears that had been scratching at her eyes for so long.

 

Liquid streamed down her face and she shook violently. Her teeth bit her tongue and she could taste the sweetness of blood as she raised her shaking hand to her trembling mouth. Her stomach was suddenly shot with pain and she doubled over, crying out in the process.

 

She began to cry painfully now. Everything hurt. She couldn't bear to speak. She wanted to go away. To go and never come back.

 

A couple of people were saying her name, some in anger, some in horror, some in surprise. None of them she recognized as his. She squeezed her eyes shut and sobbed again.

 

Then she started running. Out into the rain that was shoveling down from the skies. She was soaked in less than a minute. She didn't care. Her books were left abandoned at the front of the school. She didn't care. Her “friends” were standing there, watching her go. She didn't care.

 

She just didn't.