Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Sleeping with the Enemy ❯ Crash ( Chapter 14 )

Chapter 14: Crash

 

“If I've gone overboard

Then I'm begging you

To forgive me

In my haste

When I'm holding you so, girl,

Close to me.”

-Dave Matthews Band “Crash Into Me”

 

Nina rested her back against a tree trunk and sighed, looking up from her sketchpad. As she studied the canopy of changed leaves against the clear blue sky, Nina couldn't help remembering that this was her and Captain Aizen's day for kidou practice. She shook her head and looked down to detail her picture as she deliberated whether or not she ought to go.

A week had passed since Sousuke had made his feelings known to her, and Nina had made no attempt since then to even speak to him. She wasn't angry with Captain Aizen, no. How could she be? Her problem was that his confession had not only startled her, but it had further stirred her own feelings toward him - feelings that she had previously been denying in an effort to keep them dormant. Until she sorted herself out, Nina wanted nothing to do with Sousuke for the time being.

Meanwhile, Captain Aizen waited patiently at the area where he and Nina had been training the past month. He sat on the tree stump with his hands tucked into the sleeves of his robes as time passed slowly, wondering whether Nina would ever show. He'd tried so hard to catch her attention the past week in the library, but each time he wanted to speak to her, she would take a cart and busy herself with re-shelving books or he would feel her spiritual energy down in the Archives Room where she wouldn't have to see him. Even on the training grounds, Nina had made no effort to speak with him. Instead, she rushed out with his Lieutenant without as much as a nod in his direction. It had become even more apparent that she was avoiding him.

"I see…" he said out loud, closing his eyes.

Finally, Sousuke stood to his feet, his arms dropping to his side as he went to look for his Third Seat. After searching for some time, he eventually found her sitting near a large tree with her sketchbook. Aizen stared at Nina from a distance as he deliberated how he should approach her without startling or intruding on her. Yet, he had the distinct feeling that he would more than likely do both no matter how hard he tried to do the opposite. Eventually, he decided to get a bit closer and call out a friendly greeting.

"Hello there!" Aizen said forcing a warm, small smile.

Nina glanced up startled. Then seeing who it was, she frowned and then went right back to what she was doing. "I suppose I need to further hone my reiatsu hiding skills. Apparently, I'm too easy to find for you."

Aizen placed his hands inside his haori's sleeves. "Hmm…perhaps you do, though why is it that you're not practicing your other skills as usual?"

Nina didn't look up as she smudged shadow into her scenic drawing. "I think you know why."

"And…that makes you upset?" Aizen questioned.

“Confused would be the better word.”

"Confused…" he echoed as he pushed back his glasses, rather confused himself. “Why?"

Nina tossed her pencil down, irritated. "Damn it, Sousuke, just don't ask." Then her face turned color as she realized her mistake and clasped a hand over her mouth. "I...I mean...C-Captain Aizen..."

In the back of her mind, she could hear Kiyohime groan and slap a hand to her forehead. Her zanpakuto had hoped that Nina would stick to her principles like she promised she would, but the sword had sensed long before Nina did that her master's self control was slipping rapidly.

Aizen's eyes widened in surprise. Then he chuckled, somewhat amused. "I see…so to sum everything up you're merely unsure about your feelings toward me even if I already told you how I feel. Well if that's the case then…" He paused to sit down some inches away from her. "…there's nothing I can really do is there?"

Nina said nothing for a long moment before quietly putting away her sketchbook, no longer able to use it for distraction. She picked up her pencil and tossed it in her bag as well.

“I do not understand…” she softly began, “…is why, of all the women in Seiretei you have to choose from, you would want me, the one person you know as well as I that you should not pursue.”

“Well that makes two of us, then," he responded honestly. "Though do you really think it would be so bad? What makes it seem so...wrong to you?"

Nina glared at her captain incredulously. “Seriously? Seriously?!” she sputtered. “It's wrong because…because you are my captain! You command an entire company of which I am a part! If Captain-Commander found out about it, he would make examples of us for sure, and I would more than likely be forced to transfer, and…” Nina glanced down, a hard but saddened look crossing her features. “…I don't want to do that.”

Sousuke smirked, somehow amused by her words, mainly the last part. "So…you don't want to be away from me?"

Nina scowled at Sousuke. "I hope you're joking."

He stared at her. "Of course I am."

Nina sighed as she leaned back against the tree. "I just...I'm happy right where I am at."

Aizen nodded and gazed at her. "I understand.”

Nina drew her knees up to her chest and was quiet for a long moment. "You know I never said I wasn't fond of you, Captain Aizen."

Sousuke smiled then nodded looking at her again with his warm brown eyes.

Nina turned her head and glanced up at Aizen. She had always thought he had the nicest eyes. She slowly looked away from him. "So what now?"

"Well...you could call me Sousuke, for starters," he said softly. "I really don't mind if it's you. In fact, I insist."

Nina glanced up at him, but this time, she couldn't help but snort amusedly at his persistence, knowing well that her captain would more than likely win one way or another. "I have the feeling that if I refuse again you will just keep annoying me until I do. Am I correct in that assumption?"

"I wouldn't really call it annoying you…" Aizen replied smiling once more to her.

"Then what would you call it?" Nina bluntly asked.

"Trying…to convince you to like me?" he said unsure about what he just said himself.

Nina pursed her lips and frowned a little. "You never had to convince me to like you. As I stated, I never said I was not fond of you." She paused for a second. "I like you very much...possibly much more than I should myself." She paused for a second as she reeled over what she had just said.

"D-do you?" he asked seriously as he leaned his head on the tree trunk, his gaze fixed on her.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out...Sousuke-kun."

He chuckled softly, not really used to hearing his name especially with the "kun" suffix with it. Sousuke moved closer to Nina, inching his lips toward hers invitingly. "Then…maybe I can help you with that,” he softly said.

Nina blushed and pulled her head back, holding up the green kidou book in his face. "Y-you got your first name from me, Sousuke, so let's not try your luck further. H-how about we work on our kidou for now?"

"Alright then," Aizen said, defeated. He lowered the book with his hand and pulled himself to his feet. He leaned down to reach for Nina's hands to help her up. "Did you have any more trouble while reading it?”

Nina took Aizen's hands and he pulled her to her feet. “I did not have trouble understanding this chapter, but when I tried to practice on my own I failed, so…perhaps I didn't understand it as much as I thought I did.”

"Why not try it again, then? Perhaps you just need to concentrate a bit more."

Nina picked up Kiyohime. "Perhaps you're right. Or maybe I forgot to do something."

“Then please…show me what you were doing,” Aizen gently instructed.

After a little while of practice which generated no results, Nina huffed frustratingly and glared at Kiyohime. "What is your problem, Kiyo?!"

Aizen watched the entire time as she trained, at first wondering whether he should help or not. Then he came to conclude from Nina's frustration that the problem did not lie with her skill, rather, it was with her zanpakuto and the fact that it didn't seem to want to cooperate with its master.

Nina let out a long sigh and massaged the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger, defeated. Nina had decided she was simply going to have to give it up for the day.

She looked up at Aizen. "Well, now I'm certain it's not my kidou. It's Kiyohime. She's mad at me. For what I don't know, but I think I can guess."

"I see," Sousuke replied. "There is not a whole lot you can do when you can't get your weapon to cooperate with you. Why don't we call it a day, in that case? I don't want you to strain yourself.”

"Oh, it isn't as much of a strain to me as it is to her, apparently," Nina growled, bordering on anger. "But if she wants to act like a child, then so be it. I'll just confront her later and turn that little attitude problem of hers around." She handed Aizen's haori to him as she sheathed Kiyohime in her scabbard. “Really, what a waste of time.”

Aizen received his coat and then slipped it on wondering if he ever had such a problem with his Kyoka Suigetsu. “Well, it does happen, and I am not upset over it. It is quite common for a zanpakuto to do that, and the only thing you can do is give it up and come back to it another day.”

Nina slipped her messenger bag over her shoulder and tucked the kidou book inside. She fastened the flap and approached Sousuke. "Well...I suppose that is what we'll do, then. We will do it again next week, if that's alright by you. By then, perhaps I will have talked Kiyohime down so that I may get something done with her. I'm sorry she was such a problem. She isn't normally like that." Nina paused. "I suppose for now, we should enjoy the pleasant weather while we can."

"No I don't mind at all," he replied pleasantly, now walking together with her. "Talking would do you both some good. It may even help you concentrate more.”

"Well, we talk all the time," Nina pointedly said. "But I think she's upset with me over you, and that's something I need to address immediately." She sighed. "I suppose she really does have a mean streak in her like the legend says."

They stopped on the familiar red bridge, and Nina gazed down into the water. Aizen stood next to her as he stared down into the river as well. He watched the water slowly move for a while before turning his gaze onto Nina. The girl was supposed to be nothing to him. She was supposed to be a simple plaything, something to preoccupy his time before setting his plans into motion, but now...it was different. He was growing dangerously attached to her, and Aizen wasn't sure if he liked it.

Nina glanced over at Aizen and saw that part of the collar of his haori was turned under behind his neck. She reached up and fixed it, straightening it so it sat correctly over his black Shinigami robes.

He smiled at her, amused at her sudden gesture. "Thank you…” He clasped a hand in his before she could remove it from his shoulder and held it against his chest. “…Nina.”

She blinked, startled by the gesture, but when she tried to pull away, Sousuke held her hand tighter in his grasp and gazed at her softly.

“Follow your heart, Nina.”

Hearing these words and the way he'd said them made Nina relent on her struggle to free herself of his grasp. She had stopped altogether and stood silently, looking down at her feet. She didn't want to give in to this. It was wrong, she knew, but how could wanting someone to love and be loved in return be so hard? She knew all of this would be so simple if she could just `follow her heart', but it wasn't simple; it was complicated.

“I…can't,” she finally whispered.

“Yes, you can,” he said equally. He pulled her closer to him. “No one has to know but us.” He leaned into her, his forehead touching hers. “I can feel it in you, Nina. You want to, but you're scared.”

Nina closed her eyes and said nothing as she gritted her teeth. “How can I not be?”

“You needn't be,” Aizen softly reassured her, bringing a hand up to stroke the back of her neck. He felt her bristle and then relax at the touch. “All will be fine. I promise.”

“Sousuke-kun…” she trailed, gripping his haori.

He chuckled as he lifted her chin to look at him. Gazing into her eyes he stroked her cheek gently, then, he leaned into her, and she did not resist. His lips collided with hers gently, and Nina knew she was done for; she could no longer fight him, try as she might. How had she let herself succumb to him like this? Was this really happening?

Aizen pulled away from Nina reluctantly as the changed autumn leaves dropped all around them and into the water below. He gazed at her for a long moment, not knowing what was going through her mind but sensing the uncertainty rippling in her reiatsu.

“I should be getting you home, Nina,” he softly said, gazing up toward the rapidly darkening sky as he led her away from the area.

She wordlessly allowed Aizen to deliver her to her quarters. She opened the door and looked up at him, unable to offer anything to say.

“Was that so bad?” he softly asked.

She shook her head. “It was…” She closed her eyes. “It was my first kiss.”

He smiled. “I'm honored.” Aizen stepped away from the door and gave a slight bow toward her. “I bid you a good night, Nina. Sleep well.”