Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Solitary Serenade ❯ Rock Bottom ( One-Shot )

Title: Rock Bottom

Pairings/Characters: Urahara/Aizen, Ukitake, Yoruichi

Rating: K+

Words: 1,668

Warning: Some OOC

Description: When all is said and done, regret is the only thing left.

 

A/N: This is AU before Chapter -108 because I have no idea where the fuck Kubo's getting his timeline.

 

 

He watched as Sousuke continued his every day routine, mastering his division, coaxing his lieutenant into becoming a fine officer. His paperwork was done on time as always, his unseated subordinates on their best behavior. The fifth division prospered. Time passed. Nothing changed.

 

Except, everything had changed, and Jyuushiro knew it.

 

There was nothing he could do, however. He had no way to fix his friend's pain. He could only watch and wish wholeheartedly that Kisuke hadn't left. Wish that there hadn't been a reason for him to leave. Or, in the deepest parts of himself, wish that Kisuke had taken Sousuke with him.

 

His friend still smiled as always, greeting everyone with the same kindness. But it was empty, lacking in true emotion. It seemed the only person who could manage to make him truly smile was his vice-captain, Gin. And that was only when no one was looking.

 

Sousuke was merely going through the motions, keeping a vague sense of normalcy. It was nearly impossible, given what had occurred.

 

Jyuushiro knew that his friend had moved out of his house, the one he had shared with Kisuke. It sat empty while Sousuke lived in the captain's quarters of his own division, a place he had never set foot in before. He still owned their home but never lived there. It simply gathered dust and sat abandoned, a lot like its owner sometimes.

 

The inquisition continued for nearly a year after Kisuke's departure, and poor Sousuke had been forced to bear the brunt of it. He was questioned repeatedly with little rest, watched after by the second squad, and rarely had a moment's peace. Not even Jyuushiro and Shunsui's repeated pleadings could convince them to stop, to realize that Aizen Sousuke knew nothing. They understood that if he had, Sousuke would've been long gone. But Central 46 cared little for his broken heart, didn't bother to grant him time to grieve.

 

Not that Sousuke would have taken it. He would've simply smiled and claimed he was fine.

 

And he turned down all offers for help. Isshin and Shunsui couldn't get close. He refused chances to go out drinking. Not even Jyuushiro could coax him to speak. He was still the same smiling Sousuke, but the light was gone, the energy.

 

He had a good public face. Only those who truly knew him were able to see just how much he hurt inside.

 

He worked longer and longer hours, personally training even more of his unskilled subordinates. He visited the library all the time, reading book after book, sometimes even asking for clarification of a fact or two. But only rarely. He avoided the twelfth most of the time, especially Kurotsuchi, the man who had taken the place of his lover.

 

Jyuushiro only once saw him break his pretend happiness, an actual twitch of interest flickering in brown eyes. Upon rescuing an interrupted training mission with the special class at the Academy, he had met a few promising students. Sousuke took great interest in them. And later, he would take three into his division.

 

But even that fascination passed all too quickly.

 

Sometimes, he caught Sousuke with a scrap of paper, looking as if it had been read thousands of times. It was folded, most often secured in his inner pocket, the safest one. He would pull it out from time to time, slowly look over the words, lips murmuring along. As though he had already memorized the entire message.

 

Even decades later, Jyuushiro would look from the corner of his eyes and spy his friend with that same scrap of paper, wrinkled and worn.

 

He never asked Sousuke what it was. He honestly didn't have to. Just from the look in the man's eyes, the sorrow in his body language, it was obviously something Kisuke had left for him. An apology perhaps. Or a goodbye.

 

Jyuushiro didn't know. And he wasn't going to ask.

 

He just wished he knew what to do to help his friend heal, to speak the right words. But they never came to him. Jyuushiro could only stand by and watch and wish that things hadn't turned out the way they had.

 

Jyuushiro felt useless, unable to fix anything. He could only watch as his friend clung to a love that would never be again.

 

Only watch. And hope.

 

*****

 

She watched him as they set foot into the living world, exiting out of the Seikaimon with little flourish. He had been silent most of the journey, withdrawn and thoughtful. Tessai seemed to understand and kept his own quiet, always strong and assuring at his captain's side. And even though they had left, Kisuke would always be his captain.

 

Yoruichi still wasn't entirely sure why she had decided to leave with him. Kisuke was her dear friend from childhood and beyond. And true, she was feeling trapped by the bonds of her position and her duties. There was a lot in Soul Society she didn't agree with. Nor could she let Kisuke leave alone, not when she knew how much it would hurt him.

 

She understood she would be leaving Soifon behind, the young woman who was incredibly attached to her. But her second-seat was strong, both in will and in body. She would make it, be a fine captain and a great leader. Yoruichi could count on Soifon to lead the second division, probably even better than she herself had.

 

But Kisuke… he would need her far more than Soifon ever would.

 

Her point was proved as she stood off to the side, watching him stare up into the sky and the dark of the night, looking at something she couldn't see. His youthful face was shadowed by the darkness, but she had been his friend for a long time. It was too easy to see the pain reflected there.

 

Silence surrounded them, Tessai standing stoic, and she watching her best friend hurt from a wound she couldn't fix. Then, there was a sharp, short burst of his reiatsu. Passing by so quickly that she barely registered anything before Kisuke had safely tucked it away again.

 

Yoruichi was on the edge of berating him for his foolishness. On the brink of pointing out that it would be all too easy from someone to find them based on that alone. The words died on her lips when she glimpsed his face, however.

 

Moisture slid free from his eyes, trickling slowly down his skin, one by one. Misery radiated from him in waves. She could practically hear his heart shattering.

 

She clamped her mouth shut, biting her lip so hard it bled. She didn't know what had just happened, but Yoruichi was certain it was important. She studied him for another long moment before he turned, surreptitiously wiping at his eyes with his sleeve.

 

She turned to follow, but he simply shook his head, saying without words that he wanted to be alone. Yoruichi didn't particularly want to leave Kisuke by himself, but she nodded anyway, letting him walk off without a word. Tessai seemed to already understand his captain's intentions and stood silently off to the side.

 

“What was that?” Yoruichi whispered to him as Kisuke stepped into the darkness of the street, seeking his solitude.

 

The vice-captain's mustache quivered. “Taichou had no choice,” he answered quietly. “He had to break their bond, or Soul Society would be able to find him.”

 

The Shihouin heir's eyes widened.

 

No wonder her dear friend wept. It must feel as if he had cut off a part of himself, something as important to him as his arm or hand. Or heart.

 

“Why didn't he just ask Sousuke to come?” Yoruichi murmured more to herself than to Tessai.

He responded anyway, not that it was really an answer. “For that, you will have to ask him.”

 

Yoruichi never got around to it. Or more like, every time she thought to ask, she was always greeted with Kisuke's fake smile. He pretended his usual cheer, his goofy aloofness. But inside, she knew, he was aching. She pushed her question aside because it would have only increased the pain. Besides, a part of her, might have already known.

 

She stood by his side as he moved into the home he had already prepared in the living world, setting up the shop that he had mostly ready. She was by his side as he dove into invention after invention, never ceasing despite such things being the reason he had been forced to flee. She watched as decades later, Yamamoto Isshin also came to Karakura, seeking out his old friend.

 

The sadness never left Kisuke's eyes. She suspected that the hat he had taken to wearing was not just to conceal the youthfulness of his face but also the emotions he was so desperate to hide. It shaded his expressions, concealing his agony from the world.

 

He abandoned the shihakushou, settling on the outfit he was known for even now. Still, he never could completely abandon his Shinigami roots, not when his outer robe resembled an inverted captain's haori. And he wore a lot of green. Only green, she noticed. His lover's favorite color, especially on Kisuke.

 

Sometimes, she would catch him outside looking up at the sky as if he could actually see Soul Society through the clouds. The regret and sorrow in his expression was obvious, his hat removed only at these times. It was enough to make her own heart ache. If she could heal his pain, she would.

 

Kisuke would only spend a few minutes out there, standing and staring before the hat would return to his head and he'd head back into the shouten. If he noticed her presence, he never said anything. It was perhaps one of the few times she saw him without his fake smile.

 

But still, she wondered. Why they'd left Sousuke behind. How things would be if he had come with them.

 

She suspected they would be very different indeed.

 

*****