Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Things Never Spoken ❯ One Day ( Chapter 20 )

Chapter 20

Ichigo sat on the porch nibbling on some pocky he’d just bought from Urahara’s shop. Renji was on the roof just above him patching a few leaks that Urahara had guilted him into fixing. It was alright though. It gave him a sense of normality he’d been missing. Ichigo was about to offer the red-head some sweets when Rukia appeared at his side.

“Rukia, you’re awake!” he exclaimed as he went stiff. “Are you feeling okay? You hurt anywhere?”

“I’m alright. My injuries weren‘t too bad,” she said softly. “And you?”

“Mm… yeah . I’m okay,” he said seeming quite insecure about himself. “But…Inoue… She almost died because of me. I sorry, Rukia… I just was seeing red, and I couldn’t stop myself.”

“It’s okay, Ichigo. It wasn’t your fault, and I’m sure Inoue will be fine,” she said laying her hand on his thigh. “It was just a fluke, that‘s all.” Her efforts to reassure him seemed to work as he placed his hand atop hers’ with a soft sigh.

“Thanks…” Ichigo muttered softly with somewhat vulnerable eyes.

It was then that Renji decided to hop down from the roof, where he’d been so diligently eaves dropping. Rukia nearly jumped off of the porch as she’d had no idea he was up there to begin with, whereas Ichigo was only moderately surprised, having only forgotten upon Rukia’s arrival.

Renji was casual despite feeling suddenly very alone, “So the two of you, huh?”

Rukia rapidly jerked her hand away from Ichigo as the boy diverted his eyes shamefully, “I- I mean, we’re--”

“It’s okay,” Renji interjected seeming distant but not entirely fake, “No, I’m happy for you.”

“Renji…” Rukia muttered. After seeing how far he’d gone with that hollow girl just to fool himself into being with her. Surely this couldn’t be how he felt about her being with another man... his best friend at that.

“Actually, I feel pretty good about it,” he continued, “like maybe a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders.” He even went as far as to offer them a smile to show he was genuine, although neither of the pair seemed securely convinced. The joy didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

Rukia stood up, “Renji, can we talk?”

Renji’s smile dissipated as his eyes flickered back and forth between the two. “Ah. Let me put these tools up,” he said as he brushed past her, unfastening the tool belt he’d been wearing while he was on the roof. Inside, he set the tools down in a utility room and turned to see Rukia in the doorway. She stepped inside, her eyes somberly fixed on him.

“Not in here,” he said, “Lets walk. Must be cramped up a bit after sleepin’ so long, eh?” he said, appearing lighthearted and relaxed.

It seemed to her that he didn’t want to be cooped in with her in case the conversation got heated. She did like the idea of a retreat however, and nodded as she followed him outside.

As they walked down the street side by side, the conversation hung silent as Rukia mulled over how exactly to start it.

“So what’d you wanna talk about?” he finally said.

Rukia sighed as she decided to just get it out, “What do you think?”

Renji expected as much and gave her a guarded, ambiguous response, “Ichigo is a good guy.”

She pursed her lips as she looked up at him. It wasn’t that she’d wanted to hurt him, actually she felt rather bad about the whole situation, but Ichigo had been there for her when she was hurting. It had been so long since she’d last seen or heard from Renji, and she’d moved on. She’d hoped he’d done the same, but after discovering where he’d been and who he’d been with… Well, frankly, she didn’t think he’d moved on at all, and she didn’t believe him for a minute when he‘d said he was happy for them. “What about you?”

“I’m fine, I told you. I think you’ll be safe with him, and that’s what matters to me most,” It wasn’t like they were ever really together anyways… so it wasn’t as if he felt betrayed… after what he’d done, he had no right to feel betrayed.

Rukia was confused at his casual demeanor. He seemed sincere, and it made her suspicion dampen the slightest bit, “Even after what just happened in Hueco Mundo?”

It seemed Renji had already thought up an answer for that incident as well, “Ichigo can handle it. You said yourself it was a fluke, right?” He kicked a rock across the road as they continued to meander along the street at a leisurely pace, “Even if it wasn’t, that kid…he’ll never let it happen again.”

He sounded so certain, as if he had all the faith in the world in the boy. “How are you so sure?” she asked, her eyes watching him critically, “Why are you so confident in Ichigo, but not in yourself?”

“Ichigo is Ichigo,” he replied keeping his eyes trained ahead. “He’s always been the hero, and he always will be.” His words weren’t bitter or resentful, but she could hear a touch of sorrow when he spoke again. “I’ve got nothin’ on that. I’d pick him too if I were you.”

She frowned. It wasn’t that she’d chosen Ichigo over Renji. She hadn’t lined them up beside each other and written out who had better statistics. It wasn’t her intention at all, but Renji had left her alone and in shambles… After everything that had happened she felt immensely close to him, probably more than ever before despite them being apart so much. Even though their relationship had been turbulent and heart-wrenching, and neither of them had been as honest as they should have been, she’d never wanted him to think he was only second best, or that Ichigo was the standard he had to meet.

She sighed as she looked out at the distant horizon, “Renji, remember when we were kids, I was climbing in that tree by the river, and the branch broke and I fell into the water?”

He recalled the event quite vividly, “yeah.”

“…And you jumped in to save me even though you didn’t know how to swim,” she continued.

He sneered a bit as a hand came up to scratch the back of his head, “Does this have a point? You got out on your own and I nearly drown for nothin‘.”

She stopped walking as she turned to him and grabbed his wrist, “The point is that you’re still a hero even if you didn’t save me. You risked your life to try,” she paused , and her eyes showed a tenderness that was rarely disclosed, “That’s who you are though, and that’s the way I’ll always remember you no matter how things change. You’ll always be that boy who would dive headlong into a hopeless mess for me and never have a second thought for yourself. You’ll always be my hero, Renji. You always will, so don’t forget.”

His mouth fell open slightly as his stomach was suddenly full of butterflies. He looked away with a snort and feigned apathy, “If you’re tryin’ to make me feel better, it’s workin‘.”

She smiled as her hand slid down his wrist to interlock their fingers. “Oh yeah? I though you were fine to start with,” she teased, giving their conjoined arms a swing.

He suddenly looked dejected, “I am… except…”

She stopped swinging their arms and looked concerned as she read his face, “except what?”

“Except, I’m really hungry. How about we go grab some lunch?” He smirked down at her as she kicked at his shin causing him to stumble. “What? I am!”

She bit her bottom lip as a she had an intriguing thought. “You wanna make some trouble?” she asked seeming positively impish.

He allowed a crooked grin to grace his lips. “Sounds like a plan of action to me.”

… … …

Inoue’s eyes fluttered open to the dimly lit room. She felt faint but forced herself to stay awake.

Sitting up , she recognized her surroundings immediately. The futon beside her looked as if it had been slept in. It was then that Ichigo’s voice cut through the silence.

“Inoue, you’re awake!” he said as he went to her side, seeming a little anxious, “Are you okay? How are you feeling?” he asked with obvious concern.

She blushed a little at his worry and gave him a small smile, “I’m a little tired, but I’m okay, Kurosaki-kun.”

Ichigo’s face was a contortion of emotion as he looked at her. His sorrow and regret was evident to her just from his face, but he voiced his thoughts anyway, “I’m so sorry, Inoue.” He looked a mess, really. He’d surely been torturing himself over what had happened.

It’s true she had been frightened when she’d seen his face covered by that horrible mask, but somehow she couldn’t condemn him for that right now. Not when she could see how much he was hurting. She smiled and placed a warm hand over his cool one, giving it a soft squeeze. “It was an accident. I don‘t blame you.”

She jumped slightly as he leaned forward and put his head against her shoulder, sliding a hand around her back. Her eyes softened and she wrapped her arms around his sides. “Kurosaki-kun…”

… … …

“Holy crap! This is the delicious food of the gods!” Renji said enthusiastically as he took another oversized bite of the hamburger.

Rukia’s brow furrowed as she watched him from the corner of her eye. “Stupid, don’t put so much in your mouth at once! You’ll choke!” she groused as she took the wrapper off of her deviously acquired meal. Since neither she nor Renji had gigais and they’d both felt mischievous, they’d opted to snatch a few hamburgers from a fast food restaurant; not much of a challenge since no one could see them.

“Don’t hold back, Rukia. You can take bigger bites around me. I won’t tell anyone you‘re secretly a little piglet,” he chuckled with chipmunk-like cheeks.

“Don’t make me hurt you, idiot,” she said glaring dagger at him.

He smiled, that crooked smirk of his and backed off, finishing his burger with some semblance of manners.

It didn’t take long before Rukia stopped and lowered the half-eaten burger to her lap, feeling quite full. She handed the rest to Renji who gobbled it down in about two bites, much to Rukia’s dismay.

Something else was on her mind, however, and as Renji licked his fingers uncouthly, Rukia spoke, “What are you going to do now, Renji?”

“Eh?” he replied, a bit surprised at the spontaneous question.

“I want to know what you’re going to do. You must have thought about it,” she said turning herself toward him without untucking her knees from under her.

Renji’s eyes grew more serious, “Yeah…but well, I wasn’t gonna say anything just yet.”

“Tell me,” she insisted.

He smiled as he looked away from her, “You’re not gonna like it… but I think… it‘s what I wanna do.” He paused and exhaled. “It would be for the best if I turned myself into Soul Society, I think.”

“Renji you can’t be serious! Idiot! They‘ll execute you after everyth--”

“I don’t want to die, Rukia.” He said sternly, with furrowed eyebrows as he stared in front of him, keeping his eyes trained away from Rukia’s concerned visage. “I know the laws and I know what punishments I’ll face if I do this.”

“If you know then you must have just given up! What happened to the death or victory Renji? You... You’re not yourself--”

“I am. I’m thinkin’ clear for the first time in a long time,” he said before he finally looked at her. “I feel bad about everything, you know. Everything that’s happened, I wish I could go back in time and fix everything, but I can’t. So this is what I decided. I want to own up to all this. I want to take the responsibility. I hurt so many people… you ‘specially, and it just doesn’t sit right with me, and I know it never will. This is what I have to do. Just pray for leniency for me, who knows, maybe with everything I learned about Aizen I’ll have something to barter with.”

Rukia’s face was full of apprehension and denial as she searched desperately over his face for a sign of fear or reluctance, but she could find none.

He reached out his hand and put it over her small trembling fist, steadying it. “It’ll be okay. It’s what I want,” he said giving her a meek smile. He stood up then, “C’mon. Lets go find something to do. Today‘s probably my last day as a free man, after all.”

“So soon?” she frowned.

“Tomorrow.”

… … …

As the pair ran around town, Renji was as carefree as ever, and he managed to lull Rukia into a forgetful bliss. It was almost like they were children again and nothing bad could happen. She felt all her worries and doubts slip away as she looked over at his face and saw that mischievous boy she‘d grown up with smiling back at her. Before she’d even realized it, the sun had set and the sky was morphing from a warm orange to a deep star-spotted purple.

With dangling feet, they sat on the rail of an overpass looking down on the train tracks below.

“Oh! Here comes another one. First car, okay?” he said excitedly before he proceeded to collect a suitable ball of spit as the train approached.

Rukia giggled and did the same. With expert timing they both let their ammo fly true down toward the quickly moving passenger train. It roared as it passed beneath them after receiving their little gifts.

“Ha! You hit the second car again.” Renji teased.

“No, that was yours!” she objected.

They argued playfully as another train approached from the opposite direction. After a few more target practice sessions, Rukia noticed that it was now totally dark, and a shadow was cast over her as she remembered this was the last day.

“I don’t want you to go,” she said abruptly.

The joy left his eyes as they remained focused out at the train tracks. “It’s getting late,” he said, shamelessly changing the subject. “Should probably start headin’ back.” He slid from the rail and dug his hands into his pockets.

Rukia quietly did the same, following behind him as they walked down the dimly lit walkway. Her mind was swimming with worry and disbelief as she watched his broad shoulders swaying as he walked. He was right here in front of her, and yet he felt so far away, and she couldn’t reach out to save him, no matter how badly she wanted to. If only she could take him away where soul society would never torment him again, she would. The fear pooling inside her was so real. It was the kind of fear she hated the most; A consuming dread of losing someone important to you. It was a feeling she should be used to by now, but no matter how many times she felt it, it still flooded her with a horrible anxiety. She could do nothing but think of ways to try and stop him or change his mind.

Renji seemed to sense her trepidation. He sighed and stopped walking enough for her to catch up to his side. He put his hand around her shoulder before they continued walking. “Sorry,” he muttered softly, “I wish there was somethin’ I could do to make ya feel better about all this, but if there is I dunno what it is.”

“It’s okay. I have to respect your decision. This is what you want. I won‘t… I won‘t stop you.” It seemed like she succeeded in saying the opposite of everything she was really feeling inside. ‘Don’t go, Renji. I need you. I can’t bare the thought of you being executed, please! You can’t do this to me!’ Her insides screamed even as she forced a brief smile.

Renji let a small crooked smirk crease his lips, “Thanks. Actually, it really means a lot to me.” He gave her shoulder a soft squeeze as he let out a somewhat shaky breath. The air was getting thick here. He had to lighten the mood, somehow. “Oy look!” he shouted as he suddenly ran ahead.

She looked at what he could possibly be getting enthusiastic about at a time like this. She was slightly surprised to see a park playground. “What?” she questioned.

“Rukia come on!” he said as he trotted up to the lonely, whimpering swing set and sat down on one of them. “Push me,” he said, looking rather like a spindly-legged grasshopper sitting on the low hanging swing.

Rukia gave him a look that read somewhere between ‘Are you serious,’ and ‘I’m gonna punch you.’

He grunted slightly as he stood up, “Okay fine,” he muttered, looking genuinely disappointed, “Then you get on and I’ll push.”

Rukia sighed but did as he suggested despite herself. No sooner had she sat down, he had her pulled up six feet off the ground in preparation for launch. She clung to the chains with wide eyes. “Too high,” she shouted as he let go and she flew through the air like a bullet. As she reached the pinnacle of the arc she felt the rubber strap slide out from her bottom and saw the ground fast approaching. Landing non-too-gracefully in the sand box she turned to him as she heard his insufferable laughter as saw him holding his stomach, doubled over at her humiliation.

“You jerk! How dare you!” she yelled and she tackled him with all her tiny might, managing to unbalance him enough to get him into the sand. She grabbed a hand full of sand and proceeded to dump in onto his head, making sure to rub it into those blood-red locks.

“No no no!” Rukia!” he objected, still laughing.

His hand, a much bigger hand than hers’, found it’s own arsenal abundant around him. He mimicked her actions, dumping a giant handful into her hair, although it mostly just spilled down onto him since she was on top of him.

She growled and went for another handful, “You baka! I’ll never forgive you!”

Chaos ensued for the next few moments as sand flew copiously in sprays. Finally a truce was called when Renji urgently surrendered. “Ah, ok, ok you win… it was a dirty trick. Damn it, it‘s all in my eye.” He desperately pawed at his eye, which was watering profusely.

She dropped the handful of sand as she sat triumphantly across his stomach. “Serves you right,” she grunted as she pulled his hand away, “Let me see.”

He complied as tears trickled down the side of his face. She leaned in and blew softly into his eye to blow away any remnants. He blinked a few more times to clear his sight before he actually noticed their compromising position. She was staring at him, still very close to his face. Her thighs were squeezing his sides ever so nicely, and he was suddenly finding it hard to swallow. He felt her fingers slide delicately across his face to wipe the dampness away as she slowly leaned in closer. Her hot breath puffed against his parted lips, and he suddenly found himself trembling. As her eyes slid closed he felt his insides screaming.

“Don’t,” he heard himself say.

Her eyes shot open as she felt his hands clasping her forearms and pushing her away. Her eyes wholly expressed her hurt and shock. She sat back and immediately got off of him, curling in on herself as if she was mortified with shame.

“I’m sorry, I can‘t…” he paused, “I don‘t want to hurt you again, Rukia.” ‘It will be easier this way,’ he kept telling himself. He had to think of her, and what she would be left with after he was gone. She had Ichigo now, it would be easier for her to move on if nothing was rekindled from before. He didn’t want her to forget him, but he wanted her to be happy without him. He was sure she would be with Ichigo.

“Come on,” he muttered as he stood and offered his hand. She quietly took it and he pulled her to her feet. They walked home in silence.