Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Understanding ❯ Understanding ( One-Shot )

Title: Understanding

Author: blue_crystal_9

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Hitsugaya/Hinamori, Gin/Matsumoto, slight Hisagi/Matsumoto

Warnings: Innuendo, swearing. The usual. :P

Spoilers: Anything up to the Hueco Mundo arc.

Summary: The tenth division discuss some things and give each other advice in the middle of the night.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, Tite Kubo does. I am not making any profit from this, it is for entertainment purposes only.

Author's Notes: You know what's weird? I don't really ship Matsumoto/Gin, but yet this came out a lot more RanGin than I originally intended. Huh. Go figure. I wrote this ages ago but sort of forgot about it and then didn't post it until now. I tend to do that a lot. ;_;

 

This could kind of be read as a possible prequel to another fic I have posted, Tempests of the Heart. I didn't intend for it to be, but it could definitely be seen as one. I didn't even realize it until my beta pointed it out. *lol* I wrote this while in the middle of writing Tempests, so I guess that's why. But this could certainly be read as a stand alone, of course, as I didn't even intend for it to be a prequel to anything.

This is one of the three Bleach fics I'm posting tonight, as I'm leaving for university in two days and I won't have time after that. So basically I'm fic-dumping tonight. One down, two to go... bah, I'm tired. ;_;

 

 

Understanding

 

_____________________________

 

The creak of a floorboard out in the hall woke Matsumoto. She lay gasping quietly, heart beating frantically against her ribs. It took her a minute to sense the reitsu, and when she did she relaxed against the pillows, feeling foolish. It was only her captain.

 

It wasn't Gin; it was never Gin. She wondered why she always awoke thinking it was him. He would not come back, especially not to Soul Society. And if he did, what would he have to say to her? And if she saw him again, would she be afraid, or angry?

 

Part of her wondered if she would feel relieved. Then she pushed that thought away; thinking things like that would only make her heart ache. It would only make it harder for her to forget him.

 

She turned her attention to her captain's reitsu instead. It was much less steady then it usually was; in fact Matsumoto was surprised to feel the usually calm captain's energy level, for lack of a better word, freaking out. She could feel that he was trying to keep it contained, but wasn't doing a particularly good job of it. She could tell he was very upset about something. It wasn't unusual for her to wake up to the sound of him pacing across the floor, and normally something so slight would not have woken her. Usually she slept like the dead, ironically. But lately she wasn't sleeping well at all; she slept worst than a cat these days. She knew it was because subconsciously her body was rejecting sleep, for when she slept deeply she dreamt of Gin. Most nights she would get two or three hours of sleep, if she was lucky. She covered for her tiredness by drinking copious amounts of tea in the morning.

 

Of course, the dreamless naps she had in the afternoon on the office couch helped quite a bit.

 

Matsumoto sat in the darkness, listening to her captain pace. She was debating whether or not to go and out and make him talk to her. She knew she would either have to face his icy wrath or his indifference, but then again she may be able to get him to open up; she'd been able to before. It hadn't been easy, but she'd done it. Perhaps it was because they were closer than most captains and vice captains, and had become even closer after the betrayal of Soul Society.

 

Debate finished, she got out of bed, the floor cold against her bare feet, and opened her door. She walked down the few short steps in the hall to his room door and knocked quietly.

 

The door opened not a second later. Hitsugaya looked at her, one eyebrow raised.

 

“I saw the light.” Matsumoto quipped.

 

“I apologize, I woke you.”

 

Matsumoto shook her head, “No. Sleep was not kind to me tonight.” She made a face. “As per usual.”

 

“Sleep has been kind to no one lately.” The young captain sighed, holding the door open so that she could enter his room. She watched as he walked over to his window, staring out into the darkness with that expression he sometimes wore when he was troubled that made him look forty years older than what he actually was.

 

“Okay, out with it.”

 

Hitsugaya turned slightly so that he could look at her, eyebrow raised once again. “What?”

 

“Whatever's making your reitsu spazz like it's on a sugar high, spit it out.”

 

Hitsugaya's eyes narrowed and he growled lowly under his breath. “Matsumoto, stay out of it.”

 

“Hey, you made me tell you last week about the dream I had about Gin. Eye for an eye, equivalent exchange, quid pro quo, sharing time, whatever you want to call it, it's your turn.” Matsumoto placed a hand on her hip.

 

“Sharing time?” He said bemusedly.

 

“Whatever. Don't change the subject.” She snapped. She then noticed in the dim light of his room that his eyes were slightly bloodshot, although it was barely perceptible. It looked almost as though he'd been crying, but then again it could be from lack of sleep as well. Regardless, it made Matsumoto's expression soften. “Come on, taicho. Sometimes it helps, you know, to talk about it so that it doesn't build up and eat you inside.”

 

Hitsugaya gave her a long look before sighing tiredly. “I better not hear a word of this breathed to anyone, or else.”

 

Matsumoto rolled her eyes, “I'm not stupid. I would prefer for my fingers to remain frostbite free.”

 

Hitsugaya's eyes gleamed menacingly, “Oh, I would go for something much more painful than your fingers.”

 

She made a face, “I'm not even going to ask what you'd freeze.”

 

“That would be advisable.”

 

“Anyway.” Matsumoto said abruptly, “Enough stalling. Spill, taicho.”

 

“Well, I had a dream that…” He seemed to struggle for words, and Matsumoto waited patiently for him to continue. “I dreamt that… Hinamori…” He mumbled the rest a level too low for Matsumoto to understand.

 

“At a pitch louder than dogs can hear, taicho.”

 

He gave her a cross look before murmuring, “I dreamt that day all over again, when I found her lying on the ground bleeding from Aizen's sword and my failed attempt to kill him.” His back was stiff as he began pacing again. “The blood was particularly vivid.”

 

“Well, as horrible as that most definitely was to relive, you know that she's okay. She's awake and everything now.”

 

He stopped pacing, and looked at Matsumoto with such agony suddenly apparent in his usually indifferent eyes that she took a step back. “Her wounds may have healed on the outside Matsumoto but inside, in her mind, it's a completely different story. I saw that the day I spoke to her over the video monitor.”

 

Hitsugaya had never told her exactly what Hinamori had said to him, but Matsumoto had assumed that Hinamori's metal satiability had been severally shaken. Poor Hitsugaya-taicho, he must be worrying about her constantly.

 

He spoke so suddenly that it made her jump, “She…” He trailed off, his voice thick. He ran a hand haphazardly through his unruly white locks, his back to Matsumoto. “She asked me to save Aizen.”

 

Matsumoto was so shocked that she wasn't able to stop herself from gasping. “I..That..She…” She stopped stuttering, and sighed. “I have no words to express just how utterly wrong that statement is.”

 

“Yeah, that was basically my reaction as well.” He responded wryly, and Matsumoto couldn't see his expression because he was still facing away from her.

 

“What did you say to her?”

 

“Nothing. I didn't have time. Right after she asked, Yamamoto knocked her unconscious because she was so worked up. It was probably wise; she may have made herself sicker at the rate she was going.” He sighed heavily.

 

“I'm so sorry, taicho.” Matsumoto said quietly.

 

“Don't be. There's nothing we can do at the moment.” His voice hardened, “Except work towards saving Soul Society and destroying Aizen.”

 

It hit Matsumoto sometimes, how she forgot that her taicho was still so young when he talked and acted as though he were much older. She knew that he had barely had a childhood, except for when he lived with Hinamori. He had grown up far too fast.

 

He was still a child in most respects, and yet he was a captain, and of an emotional age perhaps older than most shinigami in the Gotei 13.

 

She knew she was lucky to have him as a captain. He was one of the best captains in the Gotei 13, besides perhaps Ukitake. Hitsugaya was not cruel like Kurotsuchi or scary like Byakuya Kuchiki or lazy like Kyouraku. Even though she enjoyed drinking with Kyouraku Shunsui, she knew having the two of them in a division together would be a bad idea, for absolutely nothing would get done. There would be sake bottles everywhere. Hitsugaya on the other hand was fair, organised, calm in a crisis and extremely intelligent and mature. For that reason, she knew the tenth was probably the best division to be in, even though many were afraid of his icy exterior. But Matsumoto knew that sometimes, for a millisecond, the ice would crack and you would get a brief glimpse of who Hitsugaya was behind the ice. And every once and a while she would see how much he cared about what was right, especially concerning Hinamori.

 

Hitsugaya's voice broke through her thoughts, “So, what about you? Any dreams lately?”

 

Matsumoto flinched slightly, “Uh, no. I'm good.”

 

“Quid pro quo, Matsumoto.”

 

“Ugh.” Matsumoto grumbled, before turning serious. “I don't dream much anymore anyway, basically because I barely sleep. So, I have no dreams to tell so far this week.”

 

“Like that's not obvious, the dark circles under your eyes are a major tip off.”

 

“Yeah, well sometimes make-up can't cover everything.”

 

“Maybe you don't dream, but your mind doesn't shut down completely.” Hitsugaya said, his gaze intent. “You looked like you'd seen a ghost when you came to my door earlier; did something happen?”

 

“No.” Matsumoto was going to stop talking when she saw the look on her taicho's face. “Okay, nothing really. It's just every time I hear a noise, footsteps, whatever, I think it's… him.” She brushed a stray piece of hair from her eyes, murmuring, “It's foolish to think that way.” Maybe it was the lateness of the hour or the bottle of sake she'd drunk before bed, but something was making her say much more than she intended to.

 

“Not entirely. I can understand where you're coming from. You were friends, he left without warning or any sort of sign, and you want an explanation.”

 

“Yeah, I suppose so. I'm not sure if I'd hit him or… the opposite if I saw him.” Matsumoto laughed weakly. “I just need to keep moving toward getting over him.” Okay, it was definitely the sake's fault.

 

“Well, Hisagi seems to have taken a liking to you. Spend more time with him to take your mind off of everything.”

 

Matsumoto wrinkled her nose, “But Hisagi's such a… a child.”

 

“He's pretty much around the same age as you; do you consider yourself a child?”

 

“Well, he acts like a child anyway.”

 

“In what way? I've only ever seen him act perfectly gentlemanly toward you, except perhaps a little to eager, but then it seems all men are like that around you.” Matsumoto could hear the distaste in his voice.

 

“He's just… not my type.”

 

Hitsugaya snorted, “Every type of guy is your type, Matsumoto. Hisagi is perfectly nice.”

 

“Are you seriously lecturing me on my love life, taicho?” Matsumoto asked, a little more than annoyed.

 

“Well, it's true. He's always been kind to you, and yet I've only ever seen you treat him with distain. Like that time he locked himself in his office for three days because you said something to him about the paper-”

 

Matsumoto started to laugh. “Oh, that was too easy.” She stopped laughing abruptly, instantly realising. “Oh God, you're right, I'm a total bitch.”

 

“Well, I wouldn't put it that far-” He paused, considering, “Then again, maybe I would. You've been pushing him away, and treating him horribly at the same time. You've been using the excuse that he's “not you're type”, but really you still haven't been able to get over Gin.”

 

How she hated when her taicho was right. She glared at him, “You know what, taicho? I'll be nice to Hisagi if you're nice to Kira. He actually trembles now whenever you glare at him.”

 

“Kira pisses me off.” Hitsugaya grumbled.

 

“I realize that, but he didn't do anything to warrant your wrath.”

 

“Yes, he did.” The tone of his voice made Matsumoto look at his face; his face was dark.

 

“What-” She stopped, realisation dawning. “You blame him for you not getting to Hinamori in time.”

 

“No.” Hitsugaya said strongly. “Not exactly. It was my own fault that I wasn't able to save her, but Kira did prevent me from getting to her in time.”

 

“He was following Gin's orders, taicho. He didn't mean for things to turn out that way, he didn't know what was actually going on.”

 

“I know that, Matsumoto.” Hitsugaya said irritably. “I don't blame him.”

 

“Then why do you dislike him? He's Kira, you can't dislike him.” Matsumoto frowned. “Now that I think of it, you've always been a little frostier toward Kira than most…” Matsumoto was silent for a few moment before she blinked, “Wait a minute. You're jealous of Kira.”

 

“What? No, I'm not.” Hitsugaya snorted.

 

“Yes, you are. Oh my God, it explains so much! He was with Hinamori during their academy days and everything. I remember her telling me a few stories where you were really hostile toward him, and she was confused as to why. Ha, it was so obvious!”

 

“Matsumoto, what are you babbling about?”

 

“And Kira's always had a crush on Hinamori, and of course you would have perceived that and been all protective over her.”

 

Hitsugaya's face had paled visibly. “It sounds like you're insinuating something, Matsumoto.”

 

Matsumoto snorted. “Of course I'm insinuating something, taicho.” She looked at him, expression serious except for the sparkle of amusement in her eyes, “You are in love with Hinamori.”

 

There was absolute silence in the room for several seconds.

 

Hitsugaya's icy green eyes were wide until he winced, “It is that obvious?”

 

“Well, you risked your life to save hers, and threatened not to mention attempted to kill two people because they hurt her, and you've been brooding and moping around the office ever since she was hurt-”

 

“I do not mope.” Hitsugaya said grumpily.

 

“Oh my God, are you kidding? You're like the freaking king of moping.”

 

“Go back to bed, Matsumoto.”

 

“You know what? If you go and tell Hinamori that you love her, I won't only be nice to Hisagi, I will fuck him-”

 

“You don't need to go that far.” Hitsugaya said, flinching.

 

“Hey, whatever it takes to make you tell her how you feel.” Matsumoto grinned.

 

“Now is not the time to tell her.” Hitsugaya's voice was quiet. “She just woke up and I haven't been able to go see her since, and now… it's just not the right time. I'll tell her someday; when I feel she is ready to hear it. When I am ready for her to hear it. And besides, we have a war to fight soon. We have to prepare for that. Perhaps after all the chaos is over, when Aizen is dead and gone from our lives.”

 

“But you'd better promise me taicho, that the minute you are finished fighting, you are going straight to where Hinamori is, and kissing her senseless and then making hot, passionate-“

 

“Stop right there.” Hitsugaya looked as though she had raped his innocence, which she probably had done so about ten times already.

 

“Look taicho, one day you're going to have certain needs-”

 

“Matsumoto, if you go any further I will personally make sure you can no longer talk.” Hitsugaya growled.

 

Matsumoto continued on as though she hadn't heard him, “And the only person you're going to truly want to fulfill those needs is Hinamori-”

 

“Matsumoto!”

 

“So you'd better tell her soon how you feel or you won't be getting any from her.”

 

“Matsumoto. Shut. Up.”

 

“And Hinamori looks like the type to be secretly really talented at blowjobs.”

 

“Oh for the love of god,” Hitsugaya ground out. “Do not say any more.”

 

“I mean, she looks all quiet and innocent, but I bet underneath all that she's really feisty-”

 

“Wench.” Hitsugaya muttered darkly, glaring daggers at Matsumoto.

 

“Wench?” Matsumoto laughed, “That's a new one.”

 

“Well, would you rather I call you Paperwork Neglecter?” Hitsugaya said irritably.

 

Matsumoto rolled her eyes, “Laaaame, taicho.”

 

“Whatever. You're getting extra paperwork tomorrow for attempting to discuss my future sex life.”

 

“About that-” Matsumoto began, but Hitsugaya interrupted her with a roar of “MATSUMOTO!”

 

“Okay, okay.” Matsumoto laughed. “I'm done.”

 

“I'm never speaking to you again except to say, `Pass that pile of paperwork'.”

 

“Aw, sure you will taicho. You love me.” Hitsugaya snorted at that, and Matsumoto giggled.

 

“I think you need to get checked by Unohana, you're beginning to sound insane.”

 

“Pshh, whatever taicho, you're the one who prefers paperwork to relaxing.”

 

“I never said that. I like to get my responsibilities taken care of before I relax, unlike you.” Hitsugaya said irritably.

 

“To each her own.” Matsumoto sniffed.

 

“Whatever. I'm going back to bed.” Hitsugaya rolled his eyes at her. “So leave, please.”

 

“Fine.” As she headed for the doorway, her captain's voice made her stop.

 

“Talk to Hisagi, let him in a little. It'll be good for you.”

 

Matsumoto appraised him from across the room, “Show Hinamori how you feel a little more. You don't have to tell her yet, just… show it more through your actions. Let her understand you again, like the way she used to.”

 

“Fine.” His voice was indifferent.

 

“Fine.” Matsumoto shot back, walking out of his room. A second later she stuck her head back in, “Goodnight, Hitsugaya-taicho.”

 

He waved her off, “Goodnight Matsumoto. Go to bed.”

 

She winked at him before shutting the door behind her and going back to her room. Despite the indifferent mask he had put on, she knew he had heard what she had said. And she had heard what he had told her as well. It was time she had started to get over Gin; she knew in her heart he was not coming back, and nothing would ever transpire between them anyway. She might actually talk to Hisagi tomorrow without insulting him or making fun. Perhaps she'd even let him walk her to breakfast.

 

Yes, her captain was not like other captains. He was better. And that was why the tenth worked so well together.

 

For the tenth division understood each other perfectly.

 

_____________________________

 

 

End.