Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Yakusoku ❯ Prank the captains of Gotei 13! ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: theblackangels_
shortened-The SWA has run out of money because of Yachiru's eatting habits (as well as other things..) A friend comes to help them out.
New shinigami are mentioned. (My Original characters.)
Tba gets depressed and ichigo finds out he'll be appearing soon.

Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Fantasy / Comedy / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 02.26.2010 | Pages: 8 | Words: 6.8K | Visits: 601 | Status: Work In Progress

Disclaimer- I don't own Bleach or its characters. *sob* but I wish I did!!
I don't own the idea of using drugs on shinigamis' I got that from something I read.
DON'T USE DRUGS ON PEOPLE!!!
Story is mine though and some characters I will be adding.
No pairings unless requested, slight Shounen Ai, slight Shoujo Ai.
Characters might be ooc (out of character) do not blame me. You try doing these things on the REAl ones and you can tell me what happens!
 
 
 
Tba- Im Back!!!
Ichigo- I don't think anybody missed you
Tba- *hits him with a dictionary*
Ichigo- HEY!!! What did u do that for???!!
Uryū-*pushes glasses up* you insulted her Kurosaki.
Rukia- Yeah! She did this to share her work with other people you know!!!
Ichigo- oh? You mean like you, sharing your `great' art skills?
Rukia- *big eyes* Y-you think they're great??!!! Really??
Ichigo- uh.. uh…you see.. what I meant was..
Tba- *in corner* its alright… I get it… im a failure.. I cant complete anything even if I tried.. ( TT ^ TT) im nothing but a wanna-be writer. Im not cut out for this, im a hopeless anime manic... it's just..I *sobbing*
Uryū- look what you did!!
Rukia- Apologize you idiot!!!
Ichigo- ….. *runs away*
*large mob of Tba's (anime & real) friends go after Ichigo*
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Prank The Captains Of Gotei 13!!!
 
 
 
 
~Shinigami Women's Association~
 
The Shinigami Women's Association meeting was held today, all the members sat down in their seats and started to discuss important matters.
 
“ So do you think I should trim my hair a bit?” Rangiku asked.
“Uh.. Well.. I..” Isane did not know what to say to her.
“Ahem! We are having a meeting here! Save your discussions until after the meeting!” Nanao said standing in front of the desk.
“So, what are we here for anyway?” Soi Fon asked the vice president.
“Well, the truth is..” Yachiru burst through the door. “Hi everybody!!!”
“Ah, president, you're here.” Nanao said. Yachiru had a big grin on her face. “Yep Kenny had to go to this boring captains' meeting, so I decided to come here.”
“.. President..” Nanao sighed, this was going to be a long day.
“Ne Ne vice president! Where are all the treats?” Yachiru asked, looking around the room for them.
Nanao sighed. “President, we don't have any money left, that's why we had to move from our regular room to Kuchiki taichou's manor.”
“WHAT??” She rushed over to Nanao. “Didn't we get money from all those pictures we took?”
Nanao sighed, “We didn't sell a single one… And there were some we couldn't sell..' she looked over to Rangiku who just smiled and gave her a wave.
“Why don't we just take more pictures?” Yachiru asked.
“The last time we tried that..” Kiyone shivered, remembering what happened when she and Soi Fon tried to take a picture of Yoruichi.
“How about I help you guys this time?” Yoruichi said as she walked through the door.
Soi Fon's eyes lit up, “L-Lady Yoruichi wh-what are you doing here?” She was happy to see her friend.
“Im going to help you out.” She had a big grin on her face. She pulled out a small packet and held it in front of their faces. “We'll use this to make the captains intoxicated, you'll be able to take great pictures if we slip this into their tea.”
“B-But that's wrong! What if we're caught?!” Nanao exclaimed, they could get in trouble for doing this, and it just wasn't right.
“Don't worry, it'll wear off in about an hour or so, depending on the amount. Im sure you'll get lots of money from selling the pictures.” Yoruichi smiled at them.
Yachiru smiled and walked over to her, tugging on Yoruichi's sleeve she asked her,
“I'll be able to eat snacks again?”
“Yeah, anything you want.” Yachiru's eyes shinned and she ran around, her hands up high and yelling `Yay!'
Nanao gave up, they needed money, “So.” she turned to Yoruichi, “Who are we going to go after first?”
 
Yoruichi smirked, “Lets go with…”
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~10th Division office~
 
The office was silent except for the sound of a pen moving against paper.
The office was clean as always, but today, there was something out of place. Well, maybe there was more than one thing out of place..
 
There were two large stacks of papers on the captain's desk, one was the `in' pile, while the other was the `out' pile. The young white haired captain was behind the desk filling out the reports. He seemed to be angry, since his lieutenant decided to ditch him to avoid the paper work, again.
Since three captains became traitors, the paperwork for their squads was given to other people. He was one of these people, along with Byakuya, Shūhei and Kira.
Being the youngest captain was something he was proud of, he wanted people to respect him, so he couldn't say `no' to the responsibility given to him. Or rather, it was forced upon him.
He put down the pen to rub his forehead. He had a massive headache after filling out all the forms, the only good thing was that there wasn't anybody to bother him-
 
“TAICHOU!!!” a familiar voice called out.
Scratch that, his lieutenant has already ruined the moment.
Matsumoto burst through the door heavily panting.
“What is it Matsumoto?” He asked, not even looking up from his paperwork.
“Uh..” `Quick think of something!!' she screamed into her head. She looked around the room. `Books… couch... Paper…teacup…pillo- wait!!! Tea cup!!'
“Taichou-”
“Matsumoto if you have time to talk, help me with this paperwork.” He said putting the form on the `out' pile and putting another form on his desk.
“Taichou, your tea-cup is empty! Ill go get you some more!” With the teacup in her hand, she ran out faster than a breeze.
The white haired captain sighed and continued working, `she's not coming back for a while.'
~~~~~~~~~
~10th division kitchen~ (Do they have one? Well the 4th division has a water boiling room, so I guess they would have a kitchen.)
 
Matsumoto opened the door holding a teacup in her hand panting loudly.
Yoruichi turned to her, “What took you so long? I was about to see what happened.”
 
Matsumoto gave her the teacup, “Taichou is currently doing paperwork.”
Nanao look at her “Doesn't surprise me, since he has a lieutenant like you.”
Matsumoto ignored her, “So how much of that powder do we put in the tea?”
 
Yoruichi thought for a minute, “well, normally a pack would do the trick, but it's pretty strong, and he's still a child... half a pack should do it.” She took a teapot, poured hot water, and put a tea bag in it.
“He'll only be intoxicated right?” Matsumoto asked.
“Yeah, don't worry about it.” She waited a few minutes before pouring the tea into the teacup. She took out a packet and poured about half of it in the cup. She handed it to the busty lieutenant. “We'll go hide and take the pictures, you just put the teacup on his desk.”
Matsumoto nodded and watched as Yoruichi and Soi Fon shunpo-ed out of the room.
~~~~
~10th division office~
Hitsugaya was still filling out the reports, the `in' pile was less than half its original size, while there were a few `out' piles.
He smiled, it was a rare one, but since nobody was here, he could relax. After this, he could do anything he wanted. He let out a contented sigh and rolled his neck back, to get the kinks out of it. The door opened and Hitsugaya quickly returned to the paperwork.
Matsumoto put the teacup gently on his desk, and sat down on the couch.
He stopped writing and looked at her.
“Matsumoto, I thought you hated paperwork. Why are you still here?”
Matsumoto felt her captain's icy gaze on her, she froze “Uh... well… You see... I uh…”
He narrowed his teal eyes at her, something was wrong.
Matsumoto quickly stood up and headed for the door, but her captain's voice stopped her.
“Where do you think your going?”
She slowly turned to him with a nervous smile on her face. “uh.. well.. I just thought that Kira and Hisagi might need some help..”
He continued to stare at her, “hm..”
A long silence filled the room.
“Well Ill be going now Taichou!!!” she quickly fled the room and closed the door just as a book came flying at the now closed door.
Hitsugaya sighed before looking at the teacup on his desk. `I am kind of thirsty. I guess she isn't completely useless.' he took the cup in his hand and lifted it up to his lips.
Unknown to him, two shinigami were outside his window and were watching him intently.
~~~~~
He finally finished all the reports, his arms hurt, but that was normal.
What wasn't normal was how hot he felt. His whole body felt warm, it wasn't summer, it was spring, and spring wasn't this hot. He took his hand, took off his captains' hatori, and draped it over the chair.
He leaned back into the chair. `Too hot. Why is it so hot?'
His zanpakuto, HyÅrinmaru materialized in front of him.
“Master, are you alright?”
Hitsugaya looked up at HyÅrinmaru, his face was a bit red from the heat and he was sweating. “HyÅrinmaru? Yeah, im fine did the room get hotter or is it just me?”
Before HyÅrinmaru could say anything, his master fell asleep, still sweating.
HyÅrinmaru looked at his master and shook his head. He did not know what was wrong but he knew his master needed to cool off. He walked over to him, loosened his master's obi, and slowly opened his master's shihakusho a bit. (I believe that is what they call the black kimono, shinigami wear.)
Unknown to him, two shinigami were taking pictures of him, his innocent act of trying to cool his master down was going to put him in a sticky situation later on.
(But that's not until later. Hehehe.. ^o^)
(Toshiro- Pervert!) (Tba- 99% of people are perverts in some way. Would you want me to recite a few fan fiction? *takes a piece of paper* `as I watched his sleeping face I felt something run down my nose. Blood! Was I having a nosebleed just from looking at him? I crept a little closer to his face-)
(Toshiro-*blushing* S-Stop!!! *takes out HyÅrinmaru*) (tba- *snaps fingers*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Next day~
 
A hell butterfly flew into Kuchiki Manor, it landed on Byakuya's finger.
`Captains' meeting, report at 3 o'clock.' A message from the chotaichou (or was it soutaichou?) Byakuya sighed and walked over to the window, letting the hell butterfly fly away.
He walked back over to his desk and sat down on the floor. He started filling out the remaining forms that he was given, he had been told to take over the paperwork of the 5th division since the lieutenant was currently in `Rehab' as Renji and Rukia put it.
There was a meeting held yesterday, so what was the need for one so soon?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FlashBack~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
 
Meeting room-
 
The captains stood in their usual places, quiet, waiting for the meeting to start.
“As im sure you all know, Aizen hasn't been sending arrancar our way for a while.” The captain commander said.
 
“Do you think he's preparing for war?” Soi Fon asked.
“We don't know yet, but with three high ranked shinigami gone, soul society is in pieces.” He said stroking his while beard, hidden behind it was a frown.
KyÅraku tilted his straw hat down hiding his face. “What do you suppose we do?”
Ukitake nodded, “Yes, even though Kuchiki-taichou and Hitsugaya-taichou are helping, I believe it would be wise to fix this problem”
 
“Ukitake, it is not easy finding three soul reapers with captain level reiatsu.” Soi Fon said look directly at him.
“Im sure Kurosaki-kun would make a great captain.” Komamura said.
Hitsugaya and Byakuya both narrowed their eyes, it was true that he had much power. But..
“He is still alive, and while I agree that he has much potential, he knows nothing of kido, and he won't follow orders given to him.” Hitsugaya said.
 
Byakuya nodded, “It is best for him to act separate from us.”
The commander nodded, “I know, so I have gathered a few people that are potential captains.”
Everyone in the room was silent for a minute.
“Are you sure about this? What if they betray us like Aizen, Ichimaru, and TÅsen did?”
Hitsugaya asked, everybody nodded, agreeing with him.
 
“That is why I will be assigning them to different squads, so you will watch over them and help them improve.”
“What? I don't have time to train some soul reaper.” Mayuri said he had a frown on his (already scary) face.
“I am busy researching arrancar and their resurrección.”
The old man nodded, “I will decide who will be teaching them later.”
 
“Chotaichou, how many soul reapers are potential captains?” (Guess who? SoiFon? Nope! Ukitake!)
 
He smiled, “There are currently four soul reapers that have caught my eye.”
 
“Four?” Unohana asked, “So there's a chance that soul society will return to normal?”
“Who cares about that!!! They're strong aren't they?” Kenpachi asked, wearing a rather scary smile.
 
He smiled, “Yes, but im not sure exactly how strong they are.”
“You don't know?” Soi Fon asked, it was strange that the chotaichou was not able to detect how strong they were from their reiatsu.
He closed his eyes and thought for a second, “When you see them, you can decide on your own if they are worthy of being a captain or not. You will be able to give them tests, if they pass, they become a captain, but if they don't, they will be a high ranked officer.
This is unlike the regular captain tests, ALL of you will be doing this.”
“Hai!” the captains replied, it was fair enough, they were at war, being able to test those that could be captains would be good. They could decide for themselves if they wanted them to be a captain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
He sighed, and looked at the clock it was 12:27. He opened the door leading to the back yard, and stared at the scenery for a bit. He heard someone come in the room and take his teacup from his desk before leaving.
`Today is Sunday, perhaps I should take a stroll after I finish the paper work.'
He returned to his desk and continued to fill out the forms.
~~~A few minutes later~~~
He felt his lieutenant's reiatsu close to his manor. `Is he coming here?'
A few moments passed before the red head opened the door to his taichou's room.
“Oi!! Taichou! I came to drop off some more paperwork.” He had a large grin on his face as always. Byakuya just stared at him for a moment before speaking.
“Renji….”
“Uh, yes taichou?” His grin disappeared, he wondered what his taichou wanted to say.
 
“You're too loud.” was the calm and slightly disappointing reply.
 
“Hai... Taichou...” he sighed and walked into the room, sitting down near Byakuya's desk.
 
 
 
 
 
~~~~Kuchiki Kitchen!~ ~~~~
 
The door slid open revealing three shinigamis in aprons. Yoruichi look at the person who just came in. “How's it looking out there?”
Nanao sighed, “He's working, I feel bad.”
Yoruichi smirked “Don't worry Byakuya needs to have some fun. Besides, he will blame me. You're safe.”
“That's not exactly what I meant but..”
Isane took the cup from Nanao “Ano Yoruichi-san how much of the powder should we pour?”
“About a pack or two right? Hitsugaya-taichou had half and it made him get a rather large fever.” Rukia said already pouring tea in the cup.
“No,” Yoruichi said looking completely serious, “He needs at least five packs”
The room was completely silent for a moment.
“B-but half a pack did that to Hitsugaya taichou!” Rukia said concern in her eyes.
She waved her hand up and down in front of Rukia, “Don't worry about it. Trust me, he'll be fine.”
“Lady Yoruichi what makes you think we should put five packs into his tea?” Soi Fon asked.
Yoruichi closed her eyes and smirked, “You see back when Byakuya was a kid, there were people who would poison his food.”
A few oohs were heard, Yoruichi smiled remembering the past. “You see, I personally trained him to resist poisons.”
“What kind of training?” Rukia asked.
Yoruichi smiled, “Well.. It was like this..”
 
 
~~~ Epic Flash Back~~~
A teenaged Byakuya was sitting in his room studying. He had a small smile on his face and `hummed' while he read. He took his teacup and drank from it. The tea tasted a bit different from normal, he thought. However, he decided to forget about it, and continued to study.
A few moments later Yoruichi came through his window. His mood suddenly turned sour and he tried to chase her out.
“Get out of here you Stupid cat!!”
“Now, now is that how you treat your friend?” She wore the captain's hatori and a large grin on her face.
“Who would be friends with you, you stupid cat!” He took his book and threw it at her. She dodged the book easily and smiled. “So, you missed me!”
He threw another book at her along with his brush. “Who would miss you, you stupid cat!” He got ready to throw his pillow at her, but as he was about to, his body felt like it was on fire. Byakuya's movements completely stopped and he feel to the ground on his knees.
Yoruichi walked over to him and bent down until she was eye level with him.
“Oh! So you drank the tea didn't you?”
Byakuya glared the best he could, but it didn't seem to work on her. “What.. did you put.. in my drink..?” He asked as the burning sensation started to spread through his body.
She just smirked, “He-he-he.” She took out a camera. “This will be good black-mail material later.”
He glared at her, he started to pant heavily as the burning became stronger.
She pulled at his clothes and took picture of him, it was funny how he had a blush on his face the whole time despite the fact that he disliked her. Or perhaps that was just the affect of the drug. (Who knows?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rukia eyes went wide with admiration, you could practically see the sparkles around her eyes.
Rangiku smiled, “Do you still have those photos?”
“Of Corse I do!” He smiled, “Ill show you them later.”
Nanao coughed, returning their attention to her. “It's been a few minutes, Kuchiki-taichou will be wondering what's going on.”
Kiyone looked towards Yoruichi “So five packets?”
“Yeah, “She turned to Nanao, “Was there anybody with him?”
“Ah yes, Abarai-san was with him.” Nanao said.
“We can't risk the chance of putting two different amounts…we'll just have to give him the same amount as Byakuya.”
“Eh? You mean...”
Yoruichi smiled, “we might see some yaoi here. Kuchiki you go to our next target, you two Kotetsu siblings go as well. Matsumoto you hide in behind the door to take pictures.
I and Soi Fon will take pictures from outside, in the backyard.”
“Wait what about me?” Nanao asked. Yoruichi turned to her and smiled.
“You bring him the tea and then get out of there as fast as you can!” She turned back to everybody.
“Does everybody know what they're supposed to do?” She asked.
“Hai!!” they replied.
~~~~~~~
Else where~
 
Yachiru wandered around soul society. “mm, where was I going again..?” She closed her eyes, and thought about it. “Ah! That's right! I was going to visit Bya-chan!” She turns around and runs off in a seemingly random direction.
 
~~~~~~~~~~
A/N
 
 
Tba- in a corner* (TT ^ TT) *eats a bar of chocolate*
Toshiro- Oi! If you eat anymore chocolate you'll get diabetes!!!
Tba- (TT ^ TT) *puts bar of chocolate on her desk*
Toshiro- Kurosaki… You have some explaining to do. *glare*
Ichigo- gagged and tied to a chair with rope* mmmffftt!
Rukia- takes gag out*
Ichigo- ITS NOT MY FAULT!!
Rukia- AH-HA! SO YOU ADMIT IT!!
Toshiro- rolls eyes* because of you we don't have anybody to close this chapter.
Ichigo- Why don't you just close it?
Toshiro- because then I would have to read THAT! *points to piece of paper on Tba's desk*
Ichigo- come on! It can't be that bad.
Toshiro- Oh it is. Kuchiki, get me that paper.
Rukia- Hai! *grabs paper and gives it to Toshiro*
Toshiro- ahem. *looks at paper* chapter intro… make fun of Toshiro.. (-_-*)
Eat chocolate while people are reading.. *goes further down list* ah, here it is.
*holds paper out to Ichigo* Read this.
Ichigo- whatever. Ahem. I want to tell you people that I will try my best to actually finish this story… yea I doubt that. Anyways, besides that I will only put pairings of people you guys want. Don't expect me to do sappy love affair between them or something like that.
*rolls eyes* Was she seriously going to say this?
Toshiro- shut up and keep reading.
Ichigo- yes, Toshiro.
Toshiro- ITS HITSUGAYA TAICHOU TO YOU!!!
Ichigo- Whatever. *continues reading* There will be some Shounen Ai and slight Shoujo Ai moments. If you want I could put together a yaoi couple. Don't expect me to write anything embarrassing though… Ah Toshiro, you're supposed to say something here.
Toshiro- ah yes. Please review.
Rukia- that's all your going to say?
Toshiro- He said say `something' he didn't tell me what.
Rukia- alright ill spice this up a bit! Review if you wanna find out what happens to Nii-sama!
Ichigo-still reading* oh yea, before I forget, Ichigo will be making an appearance in a few chapters. COOL!! Im going to be in the story!
Toshiro- of Corse you are. You are the main character you know.
Rukia- Uh guys, the Note is about a page long already.
Toshiro- hm.. Good bye. * grabs the chair Ichigo is tied to and drags him away*
Rukia- … *sweat drop* uh.. Yeah.. What he said... *chases after Ichigo and Toshiro*