Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Zanpaku-to? ❯ Captain Frosty and the Crimson Kamikaze ( Chapter 27 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters. I did create Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust aka Flower (the jerk).

 

 

Captain Frosty and the Crimson Kamikaze

 

Piecrust nodded in agreement. For a second Zaraki was positive his eyes were not working properly. “Did you agree?” the incredulity in his voice was pronounced. The guy couldn't mean it. He'd resisted every other challenge.

 

“Yes, Captain Zaraki. You will limit yourself to wrestling moves and I can use any form of martial art,” Piecrust answered steadily while looking serious. “This is not my choice. I am not responsible.”

 

Zaraki stood there, wondering if Piecrust had become possessed. He was acting unlike the cringing wimp that had been lying in the bed explaining how damaged he was. “Ah, hell,” he thought, “doesn't matter.” He stepped closer and said, “You can try first. Maybe try and throw me.”

 

Instead of rushing forward and attacking, Piecrust gave Zaraki a measuring glance. Then moving faster than Zaraki expected he dodged and tried to grasp his Captain by the shoulder. If he had been trying this move on someone less skilled, it might have worked, but Zaraki moved swiftly and watched the other recover quickly.

 

“Good move,” Zaraki said. “Was it a fluke?” He'd never shown that sort of speed before when he was holding a weapon. When he commenced the move, he'd expected Piecrust to trip over his own feet and land as a crumpled heap on the floor, but that move implied a level of competence in fighting.

 

Not answering, Piecrust tried a hip sweep. This time Zaraki moved faster and again remained untouched.

 

“Try something else,” urged Madarame who had come closer to watch. He was looking at Piecrust with less dislike than normal. Piecrust did not respond, watching Zaraki, studying him almost like a person who knew how to fight.

 

“Yeah, try something else,” another Shinigami urged. There seemed to be more observers than people training.

 

Zaraki shrugged. This could be part of the training. This time he moved and picked up Piecrust, who did not try to resist, ready to throw him, but as he did so the man twisted slightly so he did not come down with the same force he would have if he had remained in the position he was thrown. He got to his feet, automatically brushing at the dirt, his eyes again focused on Zaraki.

 

The two opponents circled each other. Zaraki did not try to prevent the smile that was forming on his face. Maybe the jerk had some skill after all. This might be the reason the old man wanted him in 11th Division, but there might be more. He had time, he'd find out the `why' eventually.

 

Piecrust shuffled his feet slightly. This did not fool Zaraki who'd used that move: move your feet to draw the combatant's attention, and then punch hard and fast. The punch had to be impeccably timed, and Piecrust's was well timed, but just a little slower than it should have been. Zaraki captured the hand in his fist, not applying any pressure, just holding it. “You need to work on your timing with that. Try it again, and maybe do something different than shuffling. Move the weight from one leg to another, like you are going to kick me or quickly jump from one foot to the other. That's a better bluff, but don't use it too often.” He dropped the hand and stepped back.

 

Piecrust nodded and tried again, shifting the weight deliberately and then thrusting his fist forward. Zaraki did not bother to block it this time and just moved out of the path.

 

“Better. Here, you, the one with the big ears. What's your name, yeah, I remember, Sho, come and fight with Piecrust. You've always boasted you were good at fighting without weapons and you weren't bad the one time I fought you. Let's see which of you is better.” Fighting someone did teach you about their moves, but Zaraki wanted to watch how the guy fared against someone else. Sho did have talent, he wasn't the best, but he might have improved since the last time Zaraki watched him fight.

 

Indignation was present in Sho's face at the insult to his ears, but having been in the Division long enough, he did not dare complain. He'd work off the anger soon enough, through exercise. Obediently he faced off against Piecrust and Zaraki watched, not commenting, not advising; only noting the areas of weakness and strength in each opponent. Piecrust had some skill and ability and it could be developed, in time. If he was so well coordinated fighting weapon less, why was he hopeless as soon as he had a zanpaku-to in his hands? Why had his attitude changed so quickly, making it appear as if there were two people inhabiting his body? Was the guy bipolar? Schizophrenic? The abilities he was now demonstrating made it obvious why he graduated from the Academy. Zaraki guessed it had been a near thing seeing he was crap at kido and a liability with a weapon. The question was why hadn't his weapon skills been improved? What was his reiatsu like? He couldn't tell. It was becoming obvious that he was going to have to talk to Yamamoto about the jerk, try to find out some information,

 

But he didn't want to draw the old man's attention immediately before or after he visited his justice on the Clown Captain. It would have to wait. Internally he groaned. He hated waiting for anything and lately he always seemed to be waiting, especially for answers from Atonomatsuri. It was so freaking frustrating!

 

Suddenly everyone became motionless, feeling an extremely strong flare of reiatsu. Then another. Without a word, Yachiru jumped on Zaraki's back and the Division grabbed their weapons, running in the direction of the surge of energy. Maybe it was an Arrancar attack, but reasoned Zaraki, that was unlikely. Something was happening and he wanted to see whatever it was. As he pelted along the street, following the others, he noticed other Divisions were flooding toward the power spill. At least this time he didn't have to rely on Yachiru's directions, he could follow everyone else.

 

“What's happening Ken-chan? I haven't felt this level of power since Ichi and the others were here,” Yachiru's head popped over his shoulder as she asked the question.

 

“I don't know, kid. I think someone is fighting. I'll get into it if I get the chance,” Zaraki replied, noting that they were getting very close to 6th Division.

 

That gave him an idea. He stopped suddenly, waiting for Madarame and Ayasegawa to catch up. His third seat was lagging behind, pale and sweating, obviously having difficulty keeping up the pace set by his Captain due to his injuries and Ayasegawa was walking with him. “I think Abarai won't lose the bet that easily,” he said as soon as Madarame stopped.

 

Leaning against the wall while wiping the sweat from his forehead, Madarame grinned weakly. “Yeah, he won't. So you worked it out, did you Captain?”

 

“Worked out what, Ken-chan?” Yachiru asked inquisitively.

 

“Abarai and Madarame have a string of bets again. You'd think they'd have learnt from their mistakes last time. I worked out what Abarai has to do,” he raised his right eyebrow. “Maybe you should stop drinking with him. This could end badly.”

 

“Ikkaku learning common sense and not making stupid bets? I would like to see that,” Ayasegawa fluted while he smiled at his friend. “But that might make life a little duller.”

 

“Bets?” Yachiru giggled. “How did you work it out and will you tell me?” Her pleasure in the news didn't surprise Zaraki. She had found the last set of bets highly amusing and had really enjoyed helping administer the punishment.

 

“It was easy and I won't tell you, I'll show you. Come on Madarame, get moving, we don't want to miss this, or do you want to grab onto my back and I'll carry you?” Zaraki guessed the response before it was given. “Ayasegawa, the offer is not to you, so don't bother refusing.” He interjected as his 5th seat opened his mouth.

 

“Uh, no thanks, Captain. That would hurt more than running,” Madarame said, as they began to walk speedily toward the 6th Division training ground. “I wonder how Renji managed to convince his Captain to fight him. Captain Kuchiki rarely goes to the trouble of fighting anyone and that's why I thought he'd lose the first part of the bet. Even when Renji issued a direct challenge, his Captain told him not to be ridiculous and he expected him to finish his paperwork before he ate. Nice guy, Captain Kuchiki. Real warm.”

 

“Yeah, if you call a frozen lake warm. I know you were being sarcastic, Madarame, but thought I'd add my own opinion. Good, they're still fighting.” They had arrived and the area was crowded with people, intent on seeing the battle. It was a good thing that the training ground was so large; otherwise he wasn't sure if everyone would fit in. As he was taller than most he had a good view. Madarame and Ayasegawa wriggled through the crowd to get a better view and Yachiru climbed onto his shoulder to watch.

 

In front of them Rukia was teetering on her toes, trying to see. “Hey, Rukia. Sit on Ken-chan's shoulder and you will be able to see Captain Frosty fight the Crimson Kamikaze. I mean your brother fight Renji,” Yachiru corrected herself as Rukia's eyes met hers. “You don't mind, do you Ken-chan?”

 

“No,” Zaraki said gruffly. He wasn't happy about being used as a seat by any passing Shinigami, but Rukia deserved some reward for being indirectly responsible for the best fight he'd had in some time. He wondered when he'd have another chance to fight Ichigo.

 

Rukia hesitated for a few moments, looking at Zaraki and then at Yachiru who urged her to take advantage of the offer. Finally she gave a small smile and nodded. “Thanks. I was here when it began and I want to see what happens but everyone crowded in front of me. I would have pushed through but Byakuya is still trying to make me act like a member of a noble house. I don't know why he bothers but I said I'd try today, otherwise you can be sure I'd be at the front,” Zaraki had placed her on his shoulder by this time.

 

His eyes intent on the men fighting, Zaraki asked, “How did it start?”

 

Rukia laughed loudly and then guiltily covered her mouth. “Renji was cleaning Zabimaru with a white cloth while we were chatting. My brother came out looking for his scarf, you know the one, the Ginpaku Kazanohana Usuginu,” Rukia began and then broke off to laugh again.

 

“So, he was looking for his scarf? Why did they start fighting? Did Kamikaze say he wouldn't help look for it?” Yachiru was leaning in front of Zaraki as she asked the question, partially blocking his view.

 

“Yachiru get out of my way, I'm trying to watch. Neither of them has released their zanpaku-to's yet. I wonder why?” Zaraki pushed the girl back onto his shoulder and out of his way.

 

“My brother is trying to teach Renji a lesson. The white cloth that Renji was using to clean his sword was that scarf and you know how much it's worth. Renji took the scarf deliberately and was using it where he knew my brother would see him, but at least he didn't apply sword polish. Byakuya is furious in that cold way of his. He quickly reclaimed his scarf, checking it for holes or tears. When he was satisfied that it was undamaged he put in his pocket and then unsheathed his zanpaku-to and they started fighting. I know I shouldn't laugh, but I think it's funny. Why did Renji do it? Why would he do something like this intentionally?” Rukia was watching the fight with interest as she spoke.

 

Yachiru quickly told her about the bets and she nodded her head. “I thought it might be something like that. Last night at dinner Byakuya mentioned that Renji had been irritating him all day, on purpose. I wondered about it and I came here to ask Renji why, but didn't get a chance. He only wanted to gossip about some rumours he'd heard. He's such a moron. I know that Ikkaku will probably have thought up some really hard bets.” She paused for a few moments as they were mesmerised with a very tricky manoeuvre that almost won the fight for the Captain, but Renji finally released Zabimaru and quickly recovered his ground. “Renji mumbled something about needing the scarf later, and now I'm worried that it's involved in another one of the bets.”

 

Zaraki was enjoying the fight and he itched to get involved but recognised it wouldn't work. The two men were only interested in defeating each other. At least it gave him a chance to assess Kuchiki's strength and what he saw impressed him. His speed and agility were good, his confidence immense and of course his control was impeccable. “I must get into a fight with this guy sometime. Maybe I could get Abarai to borrow the scarf again and I could clean Atonomatsuri with it,” he mused.

 

“Clean me with a scarf made out of windflowers instead of that scummy rag you normally use? That's when you actually bother to clean me. Cleanliness is next to godliness. It's about time you started cleaning me regularly. It ruffles my feathers to be so untidy. I want some sword polish and a new cloth and would it kill you to make my edge smooth instead of jagged? Not my other form, I know you have no control over that yet, but my normal form? But that's too much to hope from you. She that lives on hope will die fasting,” the annoying voice broke into his thoughts.

 

Zaraki sighed, shutting his eyes just for a moment. He had been enjoying himself: watching a fight, finding out how it started, getting an idea of how to pick a fight with Kuchiki, getting agreement from Soi Fon in relation to his payback and finding a talent in his least talented subordinate. He'd managed to put the previous night and the unwelcome news out of his mind during the episode at Piecrust's quarters and now the frigging vulture had to remind him of her existence. Turning his attention back to the fight, he was firm in his determination not to respond to her comments. He began to be absorbed again but it was not to last.

 

“It's not the size of the man that counts in a fight; it's the size of the fight in the man. Fight fire with fire, Kenny boy. Why are you more interested in this fight than talking to me? Are you going to buy me sword polish?” Obviously Atonomatsuri was not going to allow Zaraki to ignore her if she had anything to say about the matter, and she had plenty to say.

 

Zaraki pressed his lips firmly together and tried to bar her voice from his mind. If he spoke to her she would want to have a chat and he wasn't interested. The fight drew his attention again as the Captain released his zanpaku-to and the tussle became more intense. “Is he trying as hard as he can, or is he just playing with Abarai, using him to get some exercise? He hasn't broken into a sweat and Abarai is almost soaked with his own lather. I hope Yamamoto doesn't come and break it up.”

 

Rukia and Yachiru were chatting sporadically and he listened to their observations to cover the noise between his ears. Atonomatsuri was issuing harsh insults in an attempt to make him talk to her. At least Yachiru's interpretation of events made him smile.

 

“I'd like something to eat while I watch this,” Rukia said. “I haven't eaten today because I overslept.”

 

“I've got lollies, if you want some,” Yachiru offered.

 

“Don't get any in my hair,” Zaraki ordered. “Last time you did I had to take radical measures to get it out. Remember? I told you you're not allowed to eat sweets while on my shoulder.”

 

“Ken-chan, I won't get any lollies in your hair, I promise,” was the sincere response and then Yachiru giggled. “You looked funny when you trying to get the sweet out. You were swearing so much and so loudly that people were clustered outside, writing down the words you used. It happened when you were in the human world with Ichi, Rukia, so you won't remember.”

 

“If you even put a wrapper in my hair I'll tell Retsu not to give you any more sweets and I'll give away the secret stash you keep in my office. Yeah, I know it's there and what's in it,” Zaraki commanded. It had taken hours of hard and patient work to remove the gummy substance and he did not feel he had the fortitude to do it today.

 

Yachiru's little face wore an expression of shock. “You know about my hoard? You wouldn't do anything to it, would you, Ken-chan. I promise, really promise I won't accidentally put a lolly in your hair or a wrapper and I'll make sure Rukia doesn't either. Make sure you don't Rukia or I'll get into trouble. Here, Ken-chan you might like this. I brought it for you, just in case.” She proffered a small bag of rice snacks.

 

The gesture and thoughtfulness touched him. “Thanks,” he said gruffly to hide his pleasure.

 

“Sweets to the sweet. Bitterness to the bitter. Care to the caring. Craziness to the Kenny. Holes to the Hollow,” Atonomatsuri chanted.

 

The last made Zaraki jerk, almost unseating Yachiru and Rukia. He spilled some of the rice crackers from the bag so sudden was his movement.

 

“Are you alright Ken-chan? Did you bite your tongue, or something?” Yachiru's voice and face mirrored her concern. “Are we too heavy?”

 

Zaraki exhaled heavily and tried to reassure his Assistant Captain. “I'm fine, kid. Of course you're not too heavy. I just remembered something I have to take care of. It's not important.”

 

To Atonomatsuri he said, “Death to the decaying vulture. I'll talk to you later, you mouldy carcass.” He stopped and decided to try another tactic. Insulting her did not work; threatening her meant he had to carry out the threat which meant he had to summon her. There had to be something else he could do. Bribery? It worked with his assistant captain. “If I buy sword polish and a new cloth to clean you with, will you shut up?”

 

“Yes. See that you do, Kenny boy. A pretty soft pink cloth for cleaning me. I'll be watching and listening. Don't make promises you won't keep,” the vulture said a mixture of pleasure and sulkiness in her voice. Quiet returned to his mind. Relative quiet as the hum of his thoughts now became obvious. He chewed some crackers to cover the noise.

 

The conversation with Atonomatsuri had taken his attention from the fight. “Hey, what happened?” The Captain's hair clamps were now lying on the ground and that was unexpected.

 

“Weren't you watching Ken-chan? Renji did that. I think he's going to bankai in a moment. He looks like he's running out of breath,” Yachiru said.

 

“I'm staggered. I didn't know Renji had improved this much, but he won't beat Byakuya, not yet. I think you're right Yachiru, he looks pretty tired.” Rukia said her eyes fixed on the figures of her brother and her friend.

 

With a sudden move, the 6th Division Captain kicked Renji's feet from underneath him causing his assistant captain to fall, very heavily, on his knees. “The fight ends here. You are under report and will be confined to quarters for the rest of the day. Learn your place in this world.”

 

“If you confine me to quarters, will you send the paperwork so I have something to do?” Renji asked swiftly, rising to his feet and rubbing the area on which he landed.

 

The look of shock on Captain Kuchiki's face made Zaraki rumble with laughter. The assistant captain must hate paperwork as much as Zaraki.

 

“It will be sent, and I expect it to be completed correctly, with no errors,” the Captain said with emphasis as he gracefully retrieved his Kenseikan from the ground, placing it in his pocket.

 

“Why did Renji make that offer?” Rukia said incredulously. “He hates paperwork. He once told me he'd prefer to give up sake rather than do paperwork. I think he was exaggerating.”

 

“You may all leave. This was not a public performance, or perhaps I should charge you a fee for the entertainment. Rukia, if you are still here, could you please meet me in my office,” the cool tone of Captain Kuchiki's voice shamed people into moving hastily away.

 

Rukia, assisted by Zaraki, found her way down to the ground. “Thanks Captain Zaraki. Thanks assistant captain. I'll see you later,” she said smiling and bowing slightly she left, following her brother.

 

Ayasegawa strolled toward his Captain, shaking his head with amusement, a wry smile playing around his lips. He seemed pleased about something.

 

Meantime Madarame was speaking to Renji who was walking to his quarters. Their heads were close together and something struck Zaraki. What were the two men discussing with such interest? “I know the second part of the bet,” he said aloud.

 

“Tell me Ken-chan, tell me,” Yachiru squealed. “I want to know too.”

 

“Think Yachiru. Does Madarame like paperwork?”

 

“No, he hates it nearly as much as you do.” Yachiru answered slowly, “but last night he asked to do it, even though Pretty Boy nearly finished it and Baldy has a sore arm. The Crimson Kamikaze just asked for paperwork and the Princess said he doesn't like it either. Ken-chan, that's a really stupid bet.”

 

“I only left a few pages on new methods of ordering supplies as I thought you might like to read them, Captain. We'll need some new furniture and other items when we start work on your office,” Ayasegawa explained having heard the last part of the conversation.

 

They were silent for a moment as they watched the two friends performed a complicated rite of farewell.

 

“Yachiru, Ayasegawa, do you think we might accidentally find some more paperwork? Something really tedious that should be done but we've been putting off?” After all the man had mentioned birds and uttered an adage. His life shouldn't be too easy.

 

Ayasegawa pursed his lips as he thought. “Yes, there is something. We got it last week: a full summary on dress regulations and stuff like that. I glanced at it and immediately began yawning. There are 200 pages that require comment on each page. Would that satisfy your sadistic urge, Captain?”

 

“Two hundred pages? And you say it's boring?” It sounded as if it had been designed for this type of punishment.

 

“If Captain Unohana could synthesise it into a drug, you'd have an effective cure for insomnia,” was the reply. Ayasegawa was watching Madarame return, a calculating look on his face.

 

“Hey, Captain. Enjoy the fight?” Madarame said as he rejoined them.

 

“Yeah. Abarai had to try hard to make Kuchiki fight him. Was that why you didn't think he'd get past the first bet?” It was the most plausible explanation Zaraki could see.

 

Madarame nodded.

 

“Right; now we'll go back to 11th Division and you can do that paperwork while we look at the office. Time to remove any roaches that might be there. You can sit outside while we move the furniture. I'll have a table and chair put out for you so can work without interruption.”

 

“Okay. Yumichika can look over the furniture for those insects you mentioned. I told him where they might be nesting and he knows what to look for.” A sharp glance told Zaraki that Madarame had understood his allusion and both Ayasegawa and Yachiru indicated their grasp of his reference to insects.

 

A shop caught Zaraki's eye. He remembered his promise to Atonomatsuri and asking his friends to wait he bought a gaudy, but soft pink cloth and sword polish, the most expensive kind. “Maybe this will give the blooming broiler something else to think about,” he half hoped. She did not provide any comment which cheered the 11th Division Captain slightly.

 

Continuing their walk back Zaraki wondered where he should put the dolls while the office was being `decorated'. “Hey, Yachiru, I need to store some things at your place. Is that a problem?”

 

Her sharp glance showed she knew what he meant without further explanation. “No Ken-chan. You can carry them in and put them anywhere, except on my bed, or on my sweets, or on my clothes….. I think I better show you where you can put them.”

 

After settling Madarame down to work, amidst a large amount of complaining when he realised he had to read the document that Ayasegawa had been disinclined to study, Zaraki and his 5th seat removed the dolls from the office. When they reached Yachiru's quarters she indicated the one corner that was not taken up with her myriad pastimes and interests. The boxes towered above the girl, but she didn't seem to mind.

 

“Ken-chan. I still haven't given Piecrust his present. I'll give them to him tomorrow, or should I keep them? I don't think he'll appreciate them and he might cry or something. Do you have a doll of me? And one of you. Can I have them?”

 

“You're lucky. I have two of you but only one of me, thank the devil. I need only one of each doll. Later today, we have to sort them out, because tomorrow we start payback. You can have the doubles if you want.” It was one way to get rid of the dolls he didn't need.

 

Ayasegawa had opened one of the boxes which happened to contain a doll of Captain Kurotsuchi. “Ugly doll, ugly man. You won't need this doll, Captain. Do you want it assistant captain?”

 

Yachiru looked at the doll and made a face. “No, I don't like it. Even this small he seems creepy.”

 

“But his daughter might like it,” guessed Zaraki. “Are you sure that…..” Intercepting a frigid glance from Ayasegawa he contented himself with a small grunt of satisfaction. Corrupting assistant captains was another form of retaliation. He changed the subject. “Yeah, let's get the office cleared while we can. I don't want that freak listening into my conversations anymore.

 

After enlisting the help of a few of the Division, the furnishings were stripped from the office. They looked smaller and very insignificant outside the office and Zaraki discovered he didn't really like them much anymore. The cabinet he wanted to keep but the table was too small and ugly.

 

“New furniture. Chuck the old desk and chair and whatever else. I only want to keep the cabinet. Check it for white ants. The new stuff should be dark wood, oak or something. What colour are you going to paint the walls?” he demanded looking forcefully at Ayasegawa who shifted uneasily.

 

“White with touches of dark blue and blood red. Red curtains and dark blue trim. Everything else I thought of seemed wrong,” he confessed.

 

“Sounds acceptable. Go with it,” Zaraki ordered, satisfied that he could live with that colour scheme.

 

“Uh, Captain. Um can I check the cabinet,” asked Madarame imploringly. He had removed his head from his hands as he looked up from what he was reading. “This document is really boring. I'm not interested in the number of times the sash should be wrapped around the waist before it's tied or the correct type of sock.” He rubbed his eyes and then stretched.

 

“You can have a 10 minute break to check the cabinet. Remember, you offered to do the paperwork today. That's what you get for making stupid bets.”

 

Madarame flushed guiltily. “Yeah, it was stupid. I hope Renji has to read the same thing. There're a few rules about tattoos that I don't think he'll like.”

 

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Author's Note:

 

Thank you to the people who review this.

 

Please review.

 

MS