Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Zanpaku-to? ❯ Attention Seekers ( Chapter 47 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Tite Kubo owns Bleach.  I just borrowed the characters.  I do own Atonomatsuri (the bird) and Piecrust (the jerk).
“It’s too bloody obvious.  That’s why I don’t agree with you,”  he said and tried to moderate the harshness of his tone.  "This isn’t meant to be easy. It’s meant to mislead you into thinking things are going to be simple, but take the bloody pebble.  How easy was that?”
There was a brief pause and then an angry exhalation of breath.  “I don’t agree with you.  I know Soifon owns the swords.  I’m positive.  Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.”  
The determination he discerned in her voice indicated that she would not change her mind and the point of the adage was not lost to him.  He was damned if he was going to change his mind.  They were at deadlock and it wasn't likely that it would end with either of them conceding the other was wrong.  
Another way of approaching the matter might work.  "Kira wouldn't own the swords," was his cool observation.
"That man seems more afraid of fighting than anyone else I've seen," the bird agreed.  "If he owned the weapons, he would hide them or place them somewhere out of sight.   An evil conscience is always fearful and unquiet."
The bird was using adages with increasing frequency and he didn't seen how Kira could be considered evil, except by association.  Ignoring her last statement, he considered her earlier suggestion.  At least they could agree on that but the problems with the ownership was still not solved.  The only was he could see that he would convince the bird that Soifon did not own the swords was to suggest ownership of the other items until only Soifon and the swords were left.  Waiting for inspiration his eyes were drawn to the book.  "What's the Arabian Nights about?"  A change of subject might make the bird forget the contentious issue for a time and if they could agree on whom that belonged to, it would only be a matter of the last few items to argue about.
"Would you like an explanation?" The bird seemed flattered by the thought.
"Yeah.  If I know what it's about it might make it easier to decide who might own it."  There was also the chance she might help him decide if he would waste his time trying to read it.
"It's a collection of short stories held together by a central story," Atonomatsuri began.
Short stories were easier to read than long, drawn out books.  That was something in its favour.
"The king marries a new wife each day and kills her the next."
Zaraki wrinkled his forehead.  Did he get tired of the women so quickly?  Wouldn't he run out of women to marry?  There would be no risk of unwanted children.  "Why?"
"One of his wives betrayed him, or all of them.  He had a harem.  All of the women were put to death, but he didn't wish to remain unmarried.    He didn't follow the wise precept of: 'Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. '"
This was becoming more interesting, if he ignored the comment about marriage.  "So?"
"One woman, Scheherazade, begins telling him a story each night and doesn't finish it so he keeps her alive to finish the story and when she finishes she starts another story."
That sounded disappointing after the build up.  Telling stories to keep the man interested didn't sound like a normal relationship, but it depended the type of stories.
"What sort of stories?"
"Tales of fantastic events and people.  Djinns, efreets, good and evil wizards, magic and suspense."
Zaraki was rapidly losing interest in the book.  "Fairy stories?  Why is the book so bad then?"
"Some of the stories and illustrations are not meant for children.  Innocence should be protected."  
There was a haughty tone in her voice and Zaraki decided that he would definitely read the book, if it would annoy her.  "Sounds like something Kira would own, unless it is Koyuga.  Kira doesn't like reality much."
"I don't think he would own the cup or the coin.  But owning that book doesn't seem like something he would want people to know about."
She'd made a good point.  Ownership of that book could be potentially embarrassing for the assistant captain, but only if you knew what it was about.  The chances were most people would think it was a simple book of fairy stories and believe it belonged to one of the females; Hinamori for example.
He looked at the cover again and noticed the picture depicted beautiful women who were clustering around a man who looked a little like Kira.  
"He does look a little bit like Kira.  Just a little," the bird agreed when he mentioned it to her.  "If Kira had dark hair and looked like he wasn't afraid of everything."
Again becoming aware of the time, Zaraki wrote Kira's name next to 'Book'.  
"That leaves the wand, the cup and the coin," he said to Atonomatsuri.
"And the swords," she put in quickly.  "But they belong to Soifon. "
Before she could continue to harangue him about that question, or utter another adage, he said, "I don't think Kuchiki would own the wand."
He heard a stifled giggle and felt a sense of achievement.  By making that statement he had deflected the birds attack and set her mind on a different path.
"I can see him waving around in private, but he would certainly not submit it and admit ownership," the bird burbled.  "The man likes blossoms, why not wands?"
Zaraki permitted the smile to show.  The image of the noble waving around a wand with streamers attached, while light reflected off the spangles was very amusing.  "Not Kuchiki then.  That leaves Soifon, Hisagi and Ukitake.  And I'm including Soifon because I think it's hers."
"Humph," the bird said.  "That woman would not own a wand.  Swords, yes.  A cup and coin, possibly. A wand, never!"
Despite the assurance Atonomatsuri displayed, he was not convinced.  "Why not?"
There was a hesitation before he received a response.  "It's an item that would normally be owned by an immature female."
While he could not dispute that fact, he didn't see the relevance of repeating the designation of the item.  "It's a wand.  So what?  Do you think Hisagi owns it?"
Again there was a pause and then a small chuckle.  "No.  Nor Captain Ukitake.  The cup, coin or swords, but not the wand.  If he did own it, I am sure it was a gift."
He saw the opening and quickly spoke before the bird could add anything further.  "Yoruichi might have given the wand to Soifon."  Taking care not to elaborate any further, he let the silence stretch as the words sank in.  If her former Captain had given her the wand, Soifon would never part with it.  Her need to obtain the doll proved her devotion had not wavered and possibly the latest interaction had only strengthened it.
"It doesn't look like something Yoruichi would own, either," the bird protested.  "Maybe she gave the swords to Soifon and that's why she displays them.  A present from a loved one is more treasured than the most precious jewel."
While she made a good point he hated to admit she was right and more to the point he was convinced that Soifon did not own the swords.  All his instincts told him that she owned the wand.  None of the other possibilities fit.  Hinamori possibly, but if she owned the wand, who owned the pink origami swan?
"Half an hour more," Ise said loudly.
"We can't afford to rethink everything.  We've got to finish this.  Even if we don't get everything right, we have to get as many right as possible."  He felt a slight amount of pressure.  There was little doubt in his mind that he would make mistakes, but he was certain Kurotsuchi would also.  The man held aloof from his fellow captains and gave the impression he did not wish to know them.  
Not wishing to give her a chance he said, "It would be too obvious if  Kuchiki owned the coin."
"Look at it closer.  There's something a little odd about it," the bird requested abruptly. "Observation leads to certainty."
He moved to the coin and looked at it.  At first glance it looked old.  "Bend closer.  I want to check something," the bird said distractedly.
On bending closer he noticed the writing looked odd.  He couldn't recognise the script, or the language.  The coin was the same yellow as gold, there was a picture of someone who looked vaguely familiar but the lack of detail made it difficult to discern whom it might be.
"That looks like Hisagi," Atonomatsuri breathed.  "And the coin is the wrong colour for gold.  It might be gilt, or gold paint, but it's a fake.  I'm positive this would belong to him."
Zaraki nodded in agreement.  It was a specific item but when he'd looked at it, he'd only seen the gold and the coin.  Coins looked remarkably similar to him and as he lacked interest in them, he did not pay much attention.  He almost  reminded her that he'd stated that the coin might be a fake.  There was no point and it would only cause another argument.  For once he was prepared to acknowledge that he needed her help and mentioning that fact might cause more contention.
Without thinking about it any further he wrote Hisagi's name on the list.  "Three to go," he murmured to Atonomatsuri.  And one of those was the contentious swords.  Rather than returning to that dispute he remembered she'd said something about the cup.
"A trick cup.  That has to be Ukitake!" The man did appear to have a sense of humour.  Not greatly developed, but otherwise why would he keep those two Shinigami as joint 3rd seats if not for the amusement factor?  Their constant competition and inability to think for themselves would force a lesser man to try to send them to another division.
"I'm not sure," The quiet reflection in Atonomatsuri's voice made him pause.  This time he was prepared to listen to her suggestions as long as she didn't voice another of the blasted adages.   The bird said nothing and he began to lose his patience.
"Not sure?  Why?"  Maybe asking a question would goad her into providing an answer.  The bird continued to remain silent and tired of waiting for any reply, Zaraki examined the cup once more.  He had not previously noticed the quality of the porcelain, or the fine detail of the decoration which seemed to be a bare branch of a tree.  The blue colour used to depict the branch stood out against the creamy white of the glaze.  While it might be a trick cup, it was beautiful.  
A casual observer would consider it to be a normal drinking vessel and treat it as such.  
"You think it belongs to Kuchiki, don't you?"  The only reason the bird was remaining quiet was due to her hatred of being wrong.  If he made the suggestion and it proved to be wrong, he would be the one on whom the blame could be placed.
"That's an interesting suggestion, Kenny," she paused and he waited for another adage, but she continued to maintain silence.
Sighing he asked, "Do you agree, or not?  Time's running out."
"If you insist, then write down the Captain's name," she said smoothly.
As he commenced to write Kuchiki's name next to the cup she added, "But only if you put Soifon's name next to the swords.  Fair is fair."
She wasn't letting it go and he protested.  "That would mean Ukitake would own the wand.  I don't see it."
"Then put the wand next to Hinamori and the origami swan next to Ukitake," the bird suggested.  "He might own the swan.  It might have been a gift from his dead assistant captain."
"It's a pink swan!" Zaraki almost yelled as he stated the obvious.  From what he knew of the man, Kaien hadn't been dedicated to origami, birds or the colour pink.
"Kaien's wife then.  She might have made it," the bird persisted.  
Barely restraining his increasing frustration, he took a deep breath.  If he said anything now, the number of expletives he used would far outnumber any other words.  Swearing pleased the bird as it showed he had lost control and she would use it against him to get her own way.  
"Is anything wrong, Kenny boy," the bird sounded smug.  
It struck him that Atonomatsuri was doing this deliberately.  His anger was the weapon she was using against him, and using it effectively.  Instead of rousing him to greater fury he felt a sense of calm overtake him.  "No," he replied easily to her question.
"Do we have a deal?  Win or lose, let's play the game."
Even as he knew instinctively that she was wrong, he prepared to answer in the negative when his words were interrupted.  
"5 minutes," Ise said loudly.
The 12th Division Captain exploded into speech.  "Why didn't you warn us when it was 15 minutes?"
It was a fair question, but Zaraki didn't see the point of protesting.
"You could observe the time, if you had wished to do so," the woman replied calmly as her glasses flashed in the light.
She was correct, but Kurotsuchi wasn't placated.  "That wasn't in the rules!"
Opening the folder she was holding Ise read aloud, "Rule 31: It is up to the contestants to judge the time remaining.  It is up the officials if any reminders are provided.  It is in the rules and stated in plain and simple language."
"Unlike the rest of the rules," Atonomatsuri told Zaraki snidely.  He had to prevent a laugh from escaping at the comment.
Kurotsuchi continued to argue with the assistant captain as Atonomatsuri said to Zaraki, "If I'm wrong I won't use adages for an hour."
"A day."  An hour would pass too soon.
"Half a day," the bird bargained.
"A day," on this point he would stand firm.  She wanted him to do what she wanted, there had to be a sound reward for him. "And you have to help me work out what to do with Piecrust."
"Fine.  As for Piecrust, I think you will need to placate Yamamoto.  If you're wrong about your answers then you have to be nice to me for a day," the bird's condition didn't come as a surprise.
"An hour," he returned.  Being 'nice' to Atonomatsuri might be costly and include listening to her going on at length about some boring subject or another.
"If you get a day, I get a day. Ask and ye shall receive."
He rubbed his face with both hands. 'I could sleep that day,' he reasoned inwardly. 'If I'm sleeping I won't say anything she could see as insulting.'
Reluctantly he replied to her demand.  "Agreed."
Quickly he wrote the last three names down, after crossing out Hinamori's and replacing it with Ukitake's.

His face twisted into a mask of paint covered rage, Kurotsuchi was writing hurriedly on his piece of paper.  The argument with the assistant captain had not worked to his advantage and he seemed to be crossing out words and rewriting as speedily as he could.
"No further writing is permitted.  The challenge is now over." Ise said and then looked at the audience.  "Those of you who are participating in the competition, please make certain that your names and divisions are written legibly on the paper.  Then fold them four times and place them in one of the boxes that is being carried among you."
Zaraki looked over to Madarame and Ayasegawa and noticed that his 5th seat was rapidly folding a piece of paper and placing it in the box that was being held out to him.  "It must be a good prize," he thought.  
"I will take those from you," Ise said and collected the answers from both Zaraki and Kurotsuchi.  As he handed over his paper, the latter bared his teeth at her in a snarl.
"I won't forget this," he sniped.  "I'll lodge a formal complaint."
"The rules are clear.  If you failed to read them closely the fault is yours." The woman was serene but Zaraki noticed a small smile appearing on the corners of her mouth as she turned away.
"There will now be a short recess while the answers are checked," Ise announced, once she had handed over the papers to the judges.  "You may retire and refresh yourselves," she told Zaraki and Kurotsuchi.  
A female Shinigami appeared between the two captains.  "Please come with me, Sirs," said Rukia with a smile.  "Captain Ukitake has readied tea and snacks and would be honoured if you would partake of them."
The news was very welcome to Zaraki who was feeling quite thirsty despite his earlier precautions.  He wanted to thank her, but instead nodded in agreement and gave her a quick smile and waited to see how the 12th Division captain would reply.
"At least one person knows how to treat me," Kurotsuchi said with a thin smile.  "We will be delighted."
"Don't answer on my behalf," Zaraki, said quickly not wishing to be identified with the man.  "I'd like a drink," he told Rukia.
Rukia led them to one side of the area and through a small set of doors.  Captain Ukitake was sitting down at a small table with a teapot steaming on a small burner.  The food set out impressed Zaraki with the quantity and presentation.  A loud groaning squeak echoed through the room.  He knew it wasn't his stomach making that noise and immediately looked at Kurotsuchi who was observing him with disgust.
"I apologise.  Preparing this food had made me hungry, as my stomach has just announced," Captain Ukitake said, looking faintly embarrassed.
"You don't have to lie to protect my feelings, Captain," Rukia said sweetly as she took her place standing next to her seated superior.  "It was my stomach."
"Listening to your blather is turning my stomach," the 12th Division Captain said as he took a seat as close to the door as possible.
"You don't have to act like a ungrateful moron all the time," Zaraki said as an aside.
"What is there to be grateful for?  That I am being forced to compete against you due to something YOU did!"
"Would you like some tea," Captain Ukitake said quickly.  "Rukia, give serve each of the captains some of the delicacies that will suit them best."
Rukia opened her mouth to say something but intercepted the warning look being directed toward her.  "Certainly, Captain.  Captain Zaraki, please enjoy some of these dumplings.  I guarantee they contain no natto whatsover."  She smiled at him and he returned the smile as he selected some of the proffered food.
Biting into one he found he was pleasantly impressed with the flavour.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw his competitor take a disdainful bite and then he began to gobble the items in front of him as quickly as he could.
"I'm pleased to see you enjoying my humble offerings," the 13th Division Captain said as he slowly sipped at his tea.  "As Nanao indicated, there will be another challenge to be undertaken today once the results of this one are known.  This will take the place of lunch."
Zaraki nodded thoughtfully as he processed the new facts.  It would be better to get all these things out of the way so he could go back to his Division and continue the work he had commenced.  Now Madarame was recovered they could continue the lessons on how to handle the altered zanpakuto and possibly start the 10 years word that was necessary to reach bankai.  10 years was a hell of a long time, especially if he had to spend it talking with Atonomatsuri.  There was some concern that he might be a raging alcoholic before half that time was over, considering how often he'd turned to drink after one of her 'enlightening' discussions.
The feeling in his stomach reminded him of his hunger, but rather than prove all the slights that had been levelled at the manners of the 11th Division, Zaraki ate slowly and carefully as he chatted idly with Rukia and her Captain.  The one time he tried to touch on the rules of the competition and any future possible events, Ukitake looked down and then stared at him steadily.
"As I stated previously,  we never expected these rules to be used.  They should have been amended, but due to indolence and lack of necessity, they remained as they were written."
Nodding encouragingly, Zaraki hoped he would provide further insight, but he was due for disappointment.  
"Only Assistant Captain Ise is aware of the nature of the rest of the challenges," Ukitake said.  "That, too, is one of the rules."
"I don't trust that woman," Kurotusuchi's voice was querulous and slightly muffled due to the amount of food he'd crammed into his mouth.
"Nanao has great integrity," was Rukia's reply.  "I would trust her to follow any rule to the letter."
"Nemu would have been a better choice, or Akon," the man continued, ignoring Rukia's comment.
The white haired captain coughed gently before he spoke.  "Your assistant captain is still unwell and she was never considered for the position.  Assistant Captain Ise owes no loyalty to either the 11th or 12th Divisions which was a requirement for the role."
"Are you questioning the reliability of my people?" As he spoke, Kurotuschi jumped to his feet, the anger of his movement mirrored in his voice.
Before the man could storm out of the room the 13th Division Captain held up a placatory hand.  "Not at all.  Please, sit down and continue your meal.  I was merely observing that there was never any possibility that any person from either of your divisions would be chosen to oversee the competition, despite their honesty and earnest desire that everything should be equal."
"The Clown Captain is unhappy," Atonomatsuri almost purred.
"Yeah.  I agree, Ukitake.  It's better that it's Ise.  She's not that fond of either of us." It was the truth, or so Zaraki thought.  "And she doesn't hate being the centre of attention."  Even as he spoke he wondered if the intended joke would fall flat.
Rukia giggled and then covered her mouth with her hand.  She cast an apologetic look at her captain and Zaraki noticed his hand was also covering his mouth.  
"Craft must have clothes, but truth loves to go naked. Truth can be painful," Atonomatsuri said, by way of explanation.
"So can too many bloody adages," Zaraki growled back at her.
"I'm the centre of attention," Kurotsuchi stated with complete seriousness, staring with hatred at Zaraki.  "You're just there to make up the numbers."
"Whatever," Zaraki said and turned away from him.  His appetite had faded, but he continued to eat, no longer enjoying the taste.  Frequently being in the company of this man was making him lose his appetite.  Even though it pained him to admit it, even to himself, he preferred Atonomatsuri's company.  Instead he asked for and received some plain water which he drank.
The appearance of a Hell Butterfly indicated that they should return to hear the verdict.    "I don't care, as long as we beat him," Atonomatsuri said with a large dose of venom in her voice.
Ise stood in the centre, looking serious.  As the approached she announced, "The winner or winners of the guessing competition will be announced later, once the results are tallied."
Frowning, Zaraki wondered at the delay.  That was why they'd had the break so the judges could check who had the most correct answers.
"I will now announce which Captain correctly identified the most objects.  This will be done by matching each item with the correct owner and then indicating which captain was correct."
That made more sense.  He'd forgotten about the money making venture that Yamamoto had added to these competitions.
"We will commence with 1st Divison.  The pebble belongs to Captain-General Yamamoto."
There was a murmuring in the crowd with a few disgusted exclamations.  Refusing to look at his competitor, Zaraki felt a sense of relief that he'd chosen at least one of the items correctly.
"You got that one right because of me," was the bird's smug comment.
"Yeah, yeah," he said, not really thinking too deeply about it.  Yamamoto was unmoved, as Zaraki expected.  Admitting to ownership of a pebble meant little and didn't disclose any intimate secrets about the man.  
"The wand belongs to Captain Soi Fon."
There were startled gasps and the 2nd Division Commander flushed slightly, but stood proudly.  
"You were right?"  The bird sounded incredulous.  
"I bet Yoruichi gave it to her.  Ownership of it would be a matter of satisfaction for her," Zaraki explained simply.  He began to feel a pleasant state of anticipation of a day without adages.  Hell, that might make up for being involved in this insane set of challenges.
"The Assistant Captain of 3rd Division contributed the book of 'The Arabian Nights'."
Permitting the smile to spread over his face, he decided to try borrowing the book as soon as possible.  If nothing else, he could look at the illustrations and it was sure to annoy a certain picky vulture.  Maybe he could tease out the information about how the book came into his ownership.
Kira maintained his normal hang dog expression and refused to look at anyone, despite a few loud remarks being directed toward him.
"That's three, Kenny."
"We would have got three right, if you'd listened to me," he said coolly.   Despite the temptation, he still refused to look at his rival.  He'd already witnessed the smug look on that man's face on too many occasions and didn't feel like seeing it once more.
-------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------
Author's Note
As promised, another chapter before the end of the month.  I hope it provides some answers and the next one will see the end of this particular challenge and the commencement of the new one.  For some reason I have a feeling Piecrust may make a special appearance soon.  He's been complaining about his lack of visibility and for that he must suffer.  
The next chapter is already underway.  
Please review.
MS






Converting /tmp/phpJGQPoi to /dev/stdout