Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Fistful Of Omake ❯ Still Another Worse Father Than Genma ( Chapter 19 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

"Look, being a better father than Genma Saotome is like being a better father than Gendo Ikari or a better mother than Doctor Ikagi." The guy in the baseball hat proclaimed.

"Your point?" The cat looked up at the fellow.

"What you want to do is a *worst* father than Genma, but in what way. Is Ranma being not as good in the martial arts enough, or is there some other criteria?" Hermes adjusted his hat. "How do we specify a standard?"

"Do you want to see what you can do?" Toltiir eyed his old associate. Hermes wasn't exactly fatherhood material, but that might be his plan.

"Actually, I've got a 'pinch hitter' to play the part in this," said Hermes. "Much as Raideen did."

"Why do I have a feeling that you're going to pull someone completely bizarre out of your hat?"

"Because, after the past few centuries, you've gotten to know me a little, I'd say."

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Worse Father Than Genma?
a continuing set of omake, by Gregg Sharp/Metroanime

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"You've never met him?!" Three girls being at least moderately upset to find out that all their hopes and dreams and plans to this point had been actively discarded and stomped upon by their father without any prior warning.

"He should be here at any moment," Soun replied, completely misreading the moment.

Nabiki wasn't that upset with the concept. She could eventually become wealthy as long as this guy wasn't *too* traditionally minded. The Japanese wife took total control of the finances after all. Besides, she was getting a little desperate on a personal front. While the cold Ice Queen image was fine for being a wannabe-Yakuza, it tended to cut down on the number of cute guys one could meet. Those who weren't intimidated either wanted access to her money or were after access to Akane. So an engagement to a potentially cute guy wasn't the end of life as she knew it, more an opportunity that had to be evaluated.

Kasumi masked her disappointment and creeping sense of horror as best she could. As the eldest, the burden of honor fell on her. "Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain." She might have to marry someone completely unacceptable. Why hadn't her father given them more warning though?

Akane growled under her breath. Boys=perverts=targets. There had to be some way out of this!

"Mmmmfff! Mmmmfff!"

"That must be Ranma!" Nabiki declared, everyone in the neighborhood tending to avoid the Tendo home as if it were a nest of vampires.

Nabiki got to the front door and was immediately surprised by the sight. There was a panda, beating on this pile of ropes and chains and padlocks with a four-by-four. "What?!"

[I think he's unconscious.] The panda held a sign up briefly, then flipped it around so that a different sign was showing. [Let's get the ceremony over with *now* before he comes to.]

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The three daughters fidgeted and stared. The panda had turned into a portly figure with piggy little eyes who had turned out to be their father's old friend. Said old friend would turn around and pound repeatedly on the odd bundle whenever it began moving.

"Isn't the priest here yet?" Genma asked despite the obvious lack of priests.

"So where's your son, Saotome?" Soun asked.

Genma thwacked the bundle a few more times. "Right here."

Three girls looked at the bundle and figured out that it was just the right size for a human body.

"He's dead?!" Akane was relieved. A dead boy wasn't a problem.

"Mmmff!"

Genma repeatedly thwacked the bundle until it stopped moving again. "No. Wouldn't be much point in marrying the boy off if he was dead. Oh, Tendo, it's so horrible!"

"You turn into a panda, so is this related? Does your son turn into some horrible monster?" Nabiki was really considering how far did she want to get away from this.

"No, actually when I tested his martial arts abilities and received my own curse, he managed to avoid falling in any of the pools," replied Genma. "If I didn't take precautions like this, he'd have escaped and I'd never be able to get him back here."

"Ah, very clever of you, Saotome." Soun nodded. "Reminds me of some of the old Master's training techniques."

"Oh dear," said Kasumi, wondering how the boy could breathe like that.

"Oh," said Akane, disappointed. It sounded like her father was still set on this thing.

"So what's the story on this, why is all this necessary to keep Ranma from bolting?" Nabiki thought the level of chains and ropes were a bit excessive.

"It all started when Ranma was five, I had just broken up an incipient childhood friendship that might have caused problems to the Tendo marriage later." Genma wept at the thought. "When I sold Ranma to this priest in order to get enough money to rent a lot, then I would be able to train Ranma in an unbeatable technique known as the Catfist!"

"A priest?" Nabiki looked at the pile of chains and ropes. "What kind of priest?"

"You wouldn't have liked him," said a new voice.

Genma flinched and then reached out to part a loop of rope and chain to reveal - the bundle was empty now. "Uh oh."

"Anyway, these are my daughters: Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi. Which one should marry Ranma?" Soun asked Genma as apparently Ranma was being unreasonable.

"I was kind of tied up, but I think now that I've got the time - might I say what I think of this arranged marriage idea?" A tall looking boy seemed to materialize out of the shadows.

"He'll marry her," Genma said, picking one at random.

"Oh, by the way, I'd just like to say one thing," said Ranma in a sweet voice.

"WHY ME?!" Akane yelled. "Why should I have to marry some idiot BOY! They're all perverts!"

Genma had leapt at his son, ready to subdue him immediately.

Ranma smirked evilly. "DRILL BRAND!"

Explosions seemed to fill the Tendo home.

Looking around him with a satisfied air, Ranma dusted his hands and walked away from the smouldering crater that was once a house and dojo.

His fiancee threw rubble off of her in order to rise up. "Hold it you! You're not getting away with this!"

"FREEZE ARROW!"

Akane blinked from where she was imbedded in a pillar of ice.

Genma began trying to sneak up on the boy. He wasn't ready to let his retirement go just yet.

"FIREBALL!" Ranma said without even looking. "Not gonna catch me twice with that. Takin' Ranma Saotome prisoner ain't exactly a smart move."

Ranma vanished down the street, whistling a little tune as he walked.

After a few more minutes the rubble shifted and Nabiki and Kasumi climbed out of the crater.

"I'd say he was even less happy about this situation than we were," suggested Nabiki, wondering if anything survived from her wardrobe.

"..." Kasumi looked towards where her kitchen used to stand.

Nabiki let out a deep breath. "Come on, Kasumi. I think I can find us a place to stay while the house is being rebuilt."

"Well, I *did* want to get out of the house more," Kasumi said in reply. "I just didn't have quite this resolution in mind."

"SA-O-TO-ME!" Soun pulled himself out of the wreckage.

"Let's go get a drink, Tendo, this has been a really rough day." The smouldering and blackened Genma wondered why this sort of thing happened to him. He was the most reasonable person he knew, he didn't deserve this.

"Then we can plan on how to get that ungrateful son of yours back," agreed Soun.

Akane blinked repeatedly as she realized that she had been left alone and it was getting darn cold in here.

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The cat blinked. "Hold the phone, Jackson."

"That's Hermes. Call me Mercury and everyone will start looking for that pathetic little blueberry."

"Ranma's a 'Slayers' type mage, fairly high level? That's been done before. Not very often with a nasty sense of humor either. Who'd you get for the daddy?" Toltiir looked around. "HIM?!"

"What if Xellos had raised Ranma," said Hermes. "Terrible Tragic Story. At least for anyone who crosses him."

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