Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Trigun Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Fruits Basket Fan Fiction / Samurai Deeper Kyo Fan Fiction / King Of Bandit Jing Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Detective Loki Fan Fiction ❯ Seductive Snake's Shop of Secrets ❯ Monday - Mistmatch Mayhem ( Chapter 1 )

As the audience waits for some beginning to a rather odd story, a young gentleman approaches to address those reading.

"Well, hello there. Welcome to my shop. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Sohma Ayame." Ayame slightly bows. "The young missus bid me come and tell you all about their devious plot...I mean, their intentions. You see, this is a first attempt at co-writing for these two and I for one am looking forward to it."

"That's not just cause you are the main character, is it?" Neechan #1 states bluntly. (For writing purposes, the writers of this piece will be addressed as Neechan #1 and Neechan #2)

Ayame is surprised at Neechan #1's accusation. "Oh, well, that fact completely slipped my mind."

As if to save Ayame from a long and boring conversation, Tomoyo enters. "Sohma-dono, will you hurry up, please?

"Oh, Tomoyo-chan, good morning!"

"Good morning, Sohma-dono." Tomoyo smiles and bows.

"How many times must I say it, it's just Ayame. I swear, Tomoyo-chan, I'm not your father."

"I'll try, Ayame-sama. But for now, could we please try to hurry up. It's time to open the store.

"Oh, dear," Ayame states with a quick glance at his watch, "You are right. What was I saying?"

"You were about to say," Tomoyo switches her attention from Ayame to the unsuspecting reader, "That Flaming Duck Productions does not retain the rights to any of the characters that will be appearing in this piece. Each character is the property of the original creator and therefore will be appearing for amusement purposes, not to, in any way, undermine the integrity of said creators. We at Flaming Duck Productions would like to thank you in advance for your interest in our project and wish to provide each reader with a unique and slightly demented experience. We hope to accomplish this and wish you well on your reading."

After Tomoyo finishes her rather long, odd speech, she drags Ayame out of the room by his gorgeous, well-conditioned silver hair.

It was an early morning in June. A cool breeze ran through the marketplace. It's morning freshness carried with it the faint scent of things to come. Ayame sat on a revolving stool in the center of his fabric store, twirling to his heart's content. Behind the long counter in the corner covered in various fabrics, Tomoyo was busily sewing yet another costume for her dear friend Sakura.

"Tomoyo-chan, where are the customers?" Ayame was becoming increasingly annoyed with the fact they hadn't had one customer all day.

"Ayame-sama, it's only been an hour since we opened for the day. I'm sure someone will drop by soon." Tomoyo hopped off her stool, which was several feet from the floor, and proceeded to walk towards the back rooms.

Ayame stopped his inane circles. "Tomoyo-chan? Where are you going?"

"I just forgot the green glitter for the wings."

"Oh, do add a little of the pink, too. I think it'll do wonders for the overall effect."

"Thanks."

"It's on the third shelf. Behind the purple lace!" he called towards the back just as the gentle sound of a bell signified the entrance of a customer.

A tall man with large black boots stepped across the threshold of the store, his spiky blond hair barely moving due to excessive hairspray usage.

Ayame nearly jumped into the air from excitement that someone was there.

"Welcome! Oh, dear!" Ayame almost screamed upon seeing the man. His red trench coat seemed to be dyed other shades of red in splotches and was extremely tattered.

"Ayame, I…uh…I need another coat."

"Oh that's no problem, I always keeps spares around for you more active boys." Ayame winked and headed towards the back rooms. "You just wait right there!"

Ayame soon returned with a red bundle of cloth. "Here you go, Vashie. Now, you try it on and tell me if everything is right, ok?"

Vash removed his older, more shredded coat, tossed it at the trashcan and walked towards the dressing rooms. "Thanks."

Bing!

"Oh, another customer? Already?" Ayame turned to find a rather disgruntled hanyou staring at him. "Oh, if it isn't my favorite puppy."

"Shut-up, snake boy. I need this fixed." InuYasha growled.

Ayame stared down at the torn outfit. "Why Inu, it's hard enough to even look at this outfit, but to still be wearing it. Tisk tisk."

"Fix it." InuYasha wasn't in the mood for Ayame's usual banter.

"That can't be fixed Inu, that can be made into a very cute halter top for Kagome, but it'll no longer function as your normal outfit." Upon noticing InuYasha's look of mixed anger and sadness Ayame continued, "But, as Kagome ordered, I do have a spare on hand for you. Let me go get it."

Ayame ran off leaving InuYasha by the doorway.

"You really should thank that girl," Ayame stated as InuYasha snatched the red bundle from his grasp, "She really does think ahead, especially when it comes to you. Well, even last week she came in requesting a green kimono, going on and on about how she needed to look good for a festival or something that you two were going to. It was the most adorable pattern she had, too. Why, the green and white flowers fit…"

"Ayame…"

"Yes?"

"This isn't like my other outfit."

"Oh, why, of course it is. Kagome even brought up the one you are wearing now so I could get the measurements. I found it rather interesting she was able to take it from you. I wonder what kind of situation you were in that day, hmmm?" Ayame laughed to himself.

Inuyasha unfolded the outfit to reveal it being none other than a red trench coat that was obviously for someone a foot taller than him.

"Wait, that's not it," Ayame stated, a bit confused.

"That's what I just said, you dumbass!"

"But if that's here, then, Vash must have…" As Ayame struggled to hold back his glee, Vash appeared from behind the dressing room clad in a pair of rather baggy burgundy pants and a large shirt of fire rat fur.

"Ayame, this isn't what I needed." Vash was very confused.

Inuyasha was plain irate. "AH! That's mine!"

Ayame quickly seized the red jacket from InuYasha's hands and began to slip it over InuYasha's body.

"What the hell are you doing?" InuYasha yelled at the giggling man.

"Oh, come on, InuYasha. It's only fair that you try on his coat since he's tried on yours." Ayame smiled as the deed was completed.

InuYasha stood in the red jacket trying to figure out if he liked it or not. True it was the same red as his outfit but the arms were much more restrictive than his usual hanging cloth. And what was with the fabric? Inuyasha felt as if he was going to have to itch his way to freedom. He stared at the cuffs and black buttons wondering how anyone could function in this monstrosity. He then began to claw at the neck struggling to rip it off.

"InuYasha, don't harm the material! It's hard to get it perfect like that!" Ayame tried to calm the hanyou. "If you must take it off, use the buttons! And with the exception of your torn pants, I personally like the look on you."

"I look like an idiot!" InuYasha turned his glare from Ayame to Vash. "Give me back my pants!"

Vash began to take protective measures and searched for the nearest exit, but quickly found out that it wasn't necessary. InuYasha growled and charged at the gorgeous man only to meet the carpet with his face.

"WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!" InuYasha pushed himself up and stared at the pool of red cloth surrounding the ground where his feet should have been. He had forgotten that the trench coat was longer than his entire body. After taking this into consideration, Inu planned another assault when Tomoyo came out of the back of the store.

Tomoyo's face showed no emotion except that of a giddy schoolgirl who had finally received her lifelong wish.

"They finally agreed!" she whispered to herself. "I've waited for this moment ever since I met you both." Her camcorder appeared as if from thin air and the red light quickly began to blink.

"What are you doing, kid?" InuYasha questioned.

"I'm recording you two cosplaying as each other," Tomoyo answered.

"Tomoyo-chan, I don't think I can allow this to be kept for second viewing." Vash tried not to sound embarrassed at the strange turn of events.

Tomoyo produced a box of a dozen donuts from the counter behind her.

"You can have them all, Vash-san. Onegai!"

Vash took the donuts as a sign of friendship and began to eat them greedily. Tomoyo then turned her attention to the fuming Inuyasha and said in the cutest possible voice and with the most adorable shining eyes, "Onegai, InuYasha!"

"Keh!" InuYasha scoffed.

Tomoyo abandoned the cute approach and opted for the practical.

"Inuyasha?"

"What?" InuYasha turned his head to see a beautiful Cup of Ramen in Tomoyo's hands.

"Oneg…" Tomoyo didn't have time to finish her plea. InuYasha was already scarfing his face with yummy noodle deliciousness.

Tomoyo smiled in triumph and nodded at Ayame as if they both had planned for the moment.

"Tomoyo-chan, this is too perfect. We should document every glorious second," said Ayame running to her side, "but it does seem to be missing something…"

"That thing we have in the back?"

"Oh, yes, it'd work perfectly. Don't you agree?"

"Well, yes, but wouldn't the silver one work better? I mean, there is silver in his hair."

"Ah, my dear Tomoyo-chan, that's why I say use the Yui one, it's perfect, half white, half silver."

"I understand now!"

While Vash and InuYasha attempted to grasp the situation they found themselves in, Ayame and Tomoyo whispered excitedly to each other. Tomoyo disappeared, once again, to the back of the shop, while Ayame approached Inuyasha.

"What is it?" InuYasha asked, mouth half full of ramen.

"Well, to make this work, you two have to brandish your weapons for the camera. It's only obvious that you two switch gun for sword." Ayame glanced down at Tessaiga which was covered by Vash's trench coat and was poking out of the thick fabric, "Why, Inu, are you happy to see me?"

InuYasha gave Ayame the 'Do you want me to put down my Ramen and kick your ass' look while Vash became highly disturbed.

"Vash, what's the face for?" Ayame questioned.

"Well, if he's happy to see you, should it really be doing that?" Vash pointed at the sword extending some feet behind Inuyasha at a negative 45 degree angle.

"Well, everyone is different!" Ayame smiled.

InuYasha wondered if he could hand his sword over to someone who said such strange things. Vash, on the other hand, quickly drew his large silver weapon out, allowed it to circle his index finger a total of six times and held the gun, handle out, towards InuYasha. Reluctantly, InuYasha handed Tessiaga into Vash's waiting hand and reached for the gun.

Before InuYasha could spew threats of torture and death, Vash smiled brightly and said, "Hurt Betsy and your head will be gone."

InuYasha blinked. "Be…Betsy?"

"FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!" Tomoyo screeched while running to Ayame's side and handing a small object into his waiting hands.

"Excellent, Tomoyo-chan. Shall we begin?"

"Hai, Ayame-sama!" The glint was back in Tomoyo's eyes as she approached Vash, both hands behind her back.

Ayame, however, ran to InuYasha's side and snatched one of his ears in his hands.

"What the hell are you doing, Snake boy!"

"I'm piercing your ear! You have to look just like Vashie for this to work." Ayame pulled out the piercing gun and a small stud, "This won't hurt a bit."

"How the hell am I gonna look like him? I'm a hanyou damn it!"

As InuYasha and Ayame fought, Tomoyo revealed her gift to Vash, a long Yui wig with matching dog ears of silk.

"Wha…What the…" Vash was unable to form words as the small girl attempted to scale the counter and reach the top of his head.

InuYasha was able to form many words as he ran from Ayame.

"Get the hell away from me, you dumb ass! What the hell do you think you're doing? My ears are very sensitive, you damn snake! Kagome'll kill you if you mess with them!"

Tomoyo succeeded in her task of reaching Vash's head only to have him take a step away from her and raise a questioning finger.

"Why do I have a wig and he doesn't? If I have to have one, he should have a blonde wig."

Ayame, as if having a wall placed dead in his tracks, screeched to a hault in his pursuit of the ornery hanyou.

"Why? My dear, Vashie, it is quite obvious that a wig to match your hairstyle wouldn't work well on InuYasha at all." Ayame, seeming to apparate, appeared behind the unsuspecting hanyou in question, pulling at his hair. "You see, the length difference is too great, it would take hours to properly contain all of his gorgeous locks. We could try to dye it, but that would take hours as well and we don't want to loose that silky shine he has right now, do we?" Ayame was twirling his hands through InuYasha's hair attempting a long braid down the middle.

InuYasha, fed up with the entire situation, flung his claws in Ayame's direction to free himself and bolted out of the front door screaming, "Keh! Screw this place! This is why Kagome's the one to always get my things!"

Tomoyo, who had been straining to reach Vash's head, slumped back onto the counter in defeat. Ayame sighed and tossed the piercing gun onto a nearby table. Vash…

"Ah!" Vash screamed, "BETSY! He's got my gun!" He called for the gun as if she was a real person and began to run in pursuit of his love when Tomoyo grabbed the back of his MC Hammer-like pants.

"Don't worry, Vash-san." Tomoyo smiled reassuringly.

"He'll be back any second," Ayame stated as he walked over to Vash and flicked the sword tied around Vash's waist. "He'll be wanting..."

"HEY! Give me my sword back, you spiky-haired freak!" InuYasha belted from outside the store, shocking the three inside.

"What are you screaming for, InuYasha?" Ayame called, "Come now, get back in here."

"Keh! Like hell I would enter your store again. You people are nuts!"

"I want Betsy back. Then you can have your sword." Vash didn't know how InuYasha would act to his demand but was surprised when the front door inched open and a small kitsune was pushed into the store.

He slowly gained his composure and walked back to the doorway to retrieve a rather large silver object. He struggled with the gun, since it was half his size, and took painful step after step under the weight towards Vash. Once he reached his destination, Vash seized the kitsune by his tail and pulled him up to eye level amazed at how the kitsune actually still maintained a grip on the gun.

"Who are you?" Vash questioned.

"I'm Shippo," the boy breathed, little beads of sweat forming on his tiny brow.

Vash attempted to pull his gun from the boy's grasp but Shippo wouldn't let go.

"Will you please let go of my gun?"

"No, I'm not allowed to let go until I have Tessaiga in my hands. InuYasha's orders." Shippo stared at Vash. "He'll kill me if I don't bring it to him."

Vash nodded in understanding and lowered Shippo to the ground. They exchanged Betsy for Tessiaga and Shippo made for the door, dragging the sword behind him.

"Arigato."

After InuYasha had received his sword, he sent Shippo back into the store to confront Vash one more time.

"He wishes to negotiate for the surrender of his clothing," Shippo said to a kneeling Vash.

"Let me change, and we can exchange clothing," Vash stated.

Shippo nodded "I'll go see if that is agreeable to him." After running to the door and back Shippo smiled. "He agrees."

Vash changed into his black pants and shirt and tossed the red bundle to the kitsune who abruptly fell over upon catching it. Shippo stopped at the doorway and whispered, "InuYasha, I have your clothes."

Shippo turned to look at Vash and bowed. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you." InuYasha threw Vash's trench coat over Shippo's head and snatched the kitsune before dashing down the street never to return.

*~*~*

Vash slipped the geranium-colored coat on and sighed in relief that it was returned safely. He glanced into the mirror to examine the length and threading as a young man drove up to the store on his motorcycle.

Bing Bing

The bell on the door rang as the man came in bearing a small package.

"Oh, Postino, good to see you!" Ayame skipped to his side, anxious to see what the mail had produced for the day.

Postino tossed the package at Ayame and said these words, "Life is full of mix-ups. Learn from them well." He then walked out of the store, jumped on his bike, and drove off.

"What was that?" Vash questioned.

"Oh, that?" Tomoyo replied. "That was Postino. He delivers the mail and tells us all these really lame one-liners."

Ayame sighed. "I suppose he doesn't like me since I request that he get off the motorcycle instead of throw the mail. He's not one to get off that bike." Ayame glanced at the package in his arms and smiled with glee.

"Vashie, the buttons for Meryl's blouse came in!" he exclaimed as he ripped the brown paper to reveal a pair of lavender buttons. "I've had to wait weeks for these!"

Ayame pulled the lavender blouse out of a closet and began sewing fervently.

Tomoyo sat on one of the stools, absorbed in the measly amount of footage she was able to shoot of the day and Vash was composing his 'look.' He stared into the mirror, slicked his hair to make sure all of his golden locks were fused perfectly and pulled his circular glasses on to complete the ensemble.

"How is Meryl these days? How are you guys doing?" Ayame questioned.

"She's fine. We're fine." Vash blushed. He still wasn't used to people asking about Meryl or their relationship.

Tomoyo's head shot up. "Huh?" She didn't know about Vash and Meryl's new situation.

Tomoyo was still a child and Vash struggled to think of a way to tell her about their relationship. She didn't need to know the details. All he could muster was this statement:

"As you know I've hunted for the elusive mayfly known as love for many moons now, but it seems I was her prey all along."

Vash's cheeks turned beat red and he nervously fidgeted, scratching at the back of his head, forgetting about his perfect hair.

"Finished!" Ayame called in a sing-songy fashion and, after placing the blouse in a box, handed it to Vash. Vash eyed the box and his tone changed from nervous to serious, his large blue eyes sparkling with intensity behind the yellow tint of his glasses. He only had one thing left to do.

"How much do I owe you?" he gulped.

"Nothing today," Ayame brushed the subject off.

Vash stood in shock at the utter generosity of the store owner. That is… until Ayame finished his thought.

"Just next time I want someone disposed of you'll be the first one I call," Ayame stated, fully aware of Vash's promise never to kill a living soul again.

Betsy found her way out of Vash's holster and two feet in front of Ayame's right eye.

"Whenever I can be of service," Vash's words were like that of ice, cold and sharp.

Suddenly Ayame and Vash burst out into fits of laughter, unable to contain the hilarity of the moment.

"Every time he comes in…" Tomoyo sighed.

With their silly game over with, Vash paid his bill of $347.93 and left the store still laughing.

"Why do you two always act like that, Ayame-sama?" Tomoyo turned her stool in Ayame's direction.

"Because I love to taunt him and he just plays back. It's a natural reaction from him. Don't read too much into it darling. Now, should we take a lunch?"

"But, it's not time yet?" Tomoyo said as Ayame pulled her off of her stool and onto her feet.

"Yes, but I'm dying for a pot sticker plate!"

~End~

Thanks for reading the first installment of a rather interesting little project we have going here. This is a joint project, well sort of, between myself, Neechan #1, and Sessy-sama, Neechan #2. For everybody's knowledge Sessy-sama has another InuYasha fanfic and it is really good. And no she did not ask me to type that. I do that of my own free will…yes…j/k. They really are good. I suggest you read them, though they are nothing like this piece. I repeat…They are NOTHING like this piece. Ok, anyways, each chapter should consist of a different day in the world of Ayame's shop so the story isn't really a continuous piece and I think we're going to do this thing where one of us writes the chapter and the other just edits. We'll be going back and forth, but we both come up with the ideas together. TEAMWORK RULES! I wrote this one out and she edited. GO NEECHAN #2! WOOHOO!!! Also, we thought we should write down some little tips to the chapters afterwards to help you out if you don't know Japanese terminology or are unfamiliar with a certain character. So, here you go.

People

Sohma Ayame is from Fruits Basket.

Tomoyo, Yui, and Sakura are from CardCaptor Sakura.

InuYasha, Kagome, and Shippo are from InuYasha.

Vash and Meryl are from Trigun.

Postino is from King of Bandit Jing.

Terminology

-sama- Japanese suffix to signify respect for a person older than you.

-dono- Japanese suffix to signify DEEP respect for a person older than you.

-chan- Japanese suffix generally used when addressing a young girl or friend.

-san- General Japanese suffix, can be used behind any person or gender.

-Onegai- Please

-Hai- YES!

-Kitsune- Fox

InuYasha literally translates to mean 'Dog Demon' and a hanyou is half human/ half demon. Shippo is a fox demon. In The King of Bandit Jing, I personally cannot remember Postino getting off his bike for any length of time longer than two seconds.

The reference to the mayfly known as love is from the episode 'Hard Puncher' of Trigun.

Oh, and Neechan means sister! ~_~

If I forgot something, I'm sorry. It's 3:09 AM and I'm a little out of it. Thanks for reading again and please review, we'd love to hear your thoughts. ~_~