Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Trigun Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Fruits Basket Fan Fiction / Samurai Deeper Kyo Fan Fiction / King Of Bandit Jing Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Detective Loki Fan Fiction ❯ Seductive Snake's Shop of Secrets ❯ Friday of the Shinobi, Part 1 ( Chapter 5 )

Neechan #1 silently creeps behind the unsuspecting shopkeeper, extending her arms ever so slowly.

"AYAME-SAN!!!!!" Neechan #1 glomps the silver-haired man. Poof.

"What are you doing here?" Ayame cries between the strands of brown hair covering his silver form, "You're supposed to be working on the story."

Neechan #1 frowns and let's a disappointed sigh resonate throughout the dark study.

"Why do you always have to pull that transformation bit when I get close to you?"

"It's not a bit! It's the curse. I can't help it."

"Sure you can't."

"I can't."

"Uh-huh."

"Just get on with the story will you?"

Neechan #1 flips the lights on and grabs her digital camera from the desk.

"Not until you change back." And with those words spoken, she waits in anticipation, camera in hand.

We don't own any of these characters, just the right to expose them to sick, twisted situations if we so decide to do so.

Poof.

Neechan #2 pops her head into the room. "I want doubles of those."

Alright, here's the jist. I'm in a write and see what happens kind of mood, go me! So here is the random attempt at the Friday craziness. I hope it's satisfactory.

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"Was the corset pulled too tight or did we have the wrong measurements? Well, I didn't really have the woman here when you purchased the item so I wouldn't know would I?"

Ayame paced the store as he spoke into the black receiver.

"Well, that's what I said when you came in, sir. Hai, I realize this could be a painful situation. Hai, I realize you have no idea how to handle women. Hai, I can hear her screaming to get the damn thing off. Would you please…No, I…Would you kindly let me get a word in sir, if I may. It may stop the screaming from being projected into my fine ears. I am delicate you know…Good, now, I need you to listen to everything I say very carefully. First, you have to get her to stop screaming. If she can scream like that it's not going to kill her…No, list-"

Tomoyo attempted to go about her daily tasks throughout the store but her attention kept returning to her irate boss. She hadn't seen him this angered since that stupid shinobi showed up for a special kimono.

"Umo…" Tomoyo looked up from her assortment of threads to find three young ninjas standing in the doorway. The one closest to Ayame had spoken, attempting to get some sort of a reaction, other than screams from the preoccupied shopkeeper.

Ayame turned on the young man, clad in a strange orange outfit. He looked the boy up and down, his eyes coming to rest on the headband resting on his forehead.

A vein threatened to pop from Ayame's forehead as he uttered one word, "Shinobi…"

Tomoyo, sensing the danger, ran to Ayame's side. "Ayame-sama, it's okay. I'll take care of things here. You should finish your conversation on the phone, right?"

Ayame glanced at the phone in his hands, vibrating from the screams of angst and confusion on the other end, then at the young trio, finally settling onto Tomoyo's sparkling smile of concern. He sighed, turned on his heel, and reluctantly returned the phone to his ear.

"Umo," the young boy began to speak again, this time directing his words to Tomoyo.

"Ohayo, Naruto-kun." Tomoyo smiled.

"Eh?"

"Remove the hand cuffs…no, you're not listening to me. You're doing this all wrong." Ayame struggled to maintain his last strand of control.

"You are Naruto-kun, right?"

"Umo, hai."

"She can't be comfortable like that? You have to be gentle with each thread."

"Good, I thought so." Tomoyo looked past Naruto to the other two shinobi. "Sakura-chan, Sasuke-kun, I suppose.

"Hai," the black-haired boy responded curtly not even glancing at the young girl in front of him, he was busy checking out the store, analyzing his surroundings.

"NO! Gentle, gentle. If she screams like that, you're not being gentle, right? You have to make love to the threads as you pull them loose or it won't release the way you want."

"Hai," Sakura stated with a weak smile, taking Tomoyo's hands in hers, "Um, could you tell us how you know our names?"

"You were sent here to work for us today right?" Tomoyo questioned thoughtfully, "Of course, I'd know the names of the people sent to help us with the shipment."

"Shipment?"

Ayame's hands trembled as he pried the receiver from his ear and threw it across the room smashing into the wall.

Naruto scratched his head while observing Ayame, his pace quickening with his intense hand motions. "Is he gonna be okay?" he muttered to Sasuke who responded by folding his arms across his chest and letting out a small sigh.

Ayame brought both of his arms to his forehead and tried to sooth his mind but it was to no avail. He proceeded to scream in the most unusual way. If one paid close attention they could make out a few scarce words.

"....make....beautiful...unforgivable....must kill..."

As Ayame came down from his torrent of incoherent ramblings he fell to the floor in an uncharacteristically disheveled lump. He stayed in his position on the floor, memorizing the features of his pale fingers, contemplating the stupidity of the younger generation.

No one made an attempt to support the man, even Tomoyo stood rooted to the floor, uncertain of a proper course of action. When it seemed that Ayame would stay that way for the remainder of the morning a cheery voice broke the still air.

"Ohayo, mina-san." A tall shinobi dressed all in navy with an olive vest stood slouched over his unsuspecting students, a small smile on his face.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto jumped.

"Mo, you're late!" Sakura commented.

Sasuke sighed.

Tomoyo blinked.

And Ayame…

"KAKA-KUN!!!!!!!!!!" Kakashi found a large mass leech onto his side as it quivered in either happiness or sadness, no one knew which.

"Aya-chan?" Kakashi tried to pull the man from his side but he held fast, "What's wrong?" Kakashi looked to the four children for an answer but all they could muster were questions.

"Why do they always turn on you? You make them beautiful and they turn stupid? Of course he was stupid before, but still WHY? WHY?!"

"Kaka-kun?" Naruto stuttered as he tried to get the words out.

"Aya-chan?" Sakura, who was trained to maintain her laughter in such situations, asked the question in complete seriousness, though this was an occasion on which she had to fight to her limits to withhold her giggles. Her inner self was laughing hysterically.

"What happened?" Kakashi asked again, ignoring their questions. Tomoyo stood at his side, trying to get Ayame to look at her.

"He went into hysterics when he was on the phone, tossing it across the room and ending up like that," Sasuke stated in a flat tone, then he added, "What are we doing here, sensei?"

"A mission," Kakashi reached behind him searching for Ayame's hands, "We are to help Aya-chan here with a shipment that is to be delivered at 10 o'clock."

All eyes reverted back to the man clinging to Kakashi.

"Umo-sa, Umo-sa, " Naruto raised his hand as if in a classroom, claming the attention of the store. "Kakashi-sensei, how do you know Aya…umo, him." He pointed his finger at Ayame, who, was calming down by the second.

Kakashi raised his head, as if in deep thought, trying to find a way to answer this question. "We danced."

Silence.

"We danced. Ne, Aya-chan?" Ayame raised his head to look at Kakashi's face, released his grip and stood up tall, a look of resolve marking his delicate features.

"Hai, Kaka-kun." He stated it in such a way that one would have believed it was a silent agreement to something more.

Naruto was about to speak when the two grown men took each other's hands and did a waltz around the children. After completing one full round they ceased and Ayame turned to the three shocked young people with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you all. I'm Sohma Ayame. Thank you for coming to help us this morning."

Bing Bing

The hinges on the oak door creaked as it was thrown open and a large cart of boxes was pushed into the doorway. It didn't make it all the way into the store though and was promptly rammed in the side by the still moving door, smashing the side of the boxes into the wall, which resulted in a string of curse words from the owner.

"Tomoyo, could you help Pos-" Ayame scanned the store for his helper and found nothing. To the others in the store it would appear as though she had vanished into the myriad of clothing. Ayame knew better and glided to the large closet in the right side of the store in between the bean bag chairs and water cooler. He gracefully opened the doors to reveal Tomoyo sitting on top of the drawers, where one would hang their jackets or delicate items.

She was surrounded by little photos of images she captured on film. The majority of the images were of her friends from school but there were a few from the store. Ayame smiling his wickedly handsome smile, Yuki bashing Ayame on the head with a Rat plushie while wearing a rather obscure outfit, and a picture of Ayame putting that outfit on said Yuki while making little Yuki plushie dance on the boy's unconscious head. Ayame promptly ripped that picture off of the wall and placed it in his pocket for fear of others witnessing his odd behavior.

Tomoyo didn't notice his action though. She was immersed in her own activities, which included criticizing the footage she had just shot of Ayame and Kakashi dancing and glancing from time to time to a small novel spread underneath her left foot. Her knees were to her chest and her hands working furiously with the book to find a particular page as the footage played on a loop in her left hand.

"Would someone please get the damn door!" Postino's voice echoed behind Ayame. Sakura seized the handle and let the irate postal worker enter.

"Tomoyo, what are you doing?" Ayame leaned into the closet to get a better view of the small book.

"I'm just checking something," Tomoyo replied absentmindedly.

"Checking something?" Ayame turned to the camera, "How did you get that footage? You were standing by Sakura, and your camera was on the counter across the store."

Tomoyo refused to turn her gaze from her work. "I had a spare in my pocket just in case." She pointed to the counter and, sure enough, her other hand-held camera lay there untouched.

"Umo-sa, Umo-sa, why are we here, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto stood in front of his teacher, his sandaled feet refusing to stay still.

Kakashi sighed. "We're here to help Aya-chan move all these boxes into the store." He pointed towards the boxes Postino had just carted in.

"But, isn't he doing that?" After pointing out the obvious, Sakura wished she hadn't spoken. Postino glared at her so intensely she began to believe all the rumors about the postal service and the mob.

"Ayame said the help would be here for me when I showed up. You're here. You do the rest of the work." Postino motioned for them to follow him outside to the large flatbed carrier attached to the back of his motorcycle.

"Got it!" A call rang out as the group headed for the door. They all turned to stare at a triumphant Tomoyo.

Since it appeared that no one was going to ask what was on their minds, Sasuke took it upon himself to ask the dreaded question. "Got what?"

Tomoyo finally lifted her head from the red book that was now in both of her hands and smiled at Sasuke. "I'm glad you asked."

She turned her body so that her legs hung over the edge of the cabinet with her feet resting on the handles of one of the many small shelves beneath her, and sat up straight, clearing her throat to begin reading. The audience waited with baited breath completely unaware that Postino was already outside attempting to unload the carrier.

"Kusenagi stared at the true beauty that was before him. He felt as if she was the only woman in the room. Her features captivated his entire being. Her brown eyes were like chocolate. She wore a slinky red dress which didn't leave much to the imagination. It framed her hips perfectly and wrapped over her large bosom to tie at the back of her neck, leaving her blond locks to flow down her back with unrestricted access to her pale skin. How he wished to take her slender form into his strong arms. He approached the bar and sat at her side carefully tracing his hand along her shoulder as he took his seat. She smiled seductively at him as he ordered sake and gently flipped his golden hair off of his shoulder to gaze at the young woman.

"It's been a long time, Mika-san," his sensuous voice spoke.

"Have we…met before?" She appeared surprised by his words. Had she met this man before? Thoughts raced through her head.

"Of course, don't you remember?" he questioned. "It's me, Kusenagi."

When the woman showed no signs of understanding he spoke again of their past encounter. "We danced." Her eyes lit up as if recalling the event with renewed emotion. "Ne, Mika-san?"

"Hai, Kusenagi-kun," was all she could reply before he wisked her away to the dance floor and to a night full of…passionate romance."

Tomoyo lifted her head to quite an interesting sight. Naruto was staring in her direction as if trying to understand her words but his mind not coming up with any connection whatsoever. Sakura understood right away and tried to suppress a tiny smile while thinking of the nature of the book. Sasuke had somehow seated himself in one of the beanbag chairs to her right and didn't appear to be paying attention. Kakashi and Ayame, however, were a different story. Ayame stood, slack-jawed, unable to blink and Kakashi, though possibly smiling from the fact that she understood the reference, was shocked to find the book in her possession.

"Aya-chan," Kakashi seemed incapable of asking the girl herself what was on his mind, "how did she get that book?"

As if reading Kakashi's mind Ayame blurted out as fast as he could, "Idon'tknowImeanitcouldn'tbemine. Mineisn'tinthestoreandevenifitwasI wouldn'tletachildreadit, that would be wrong."

"What are you talking about? This is my book." Tomoyo flashed the book at the two men.

"Your…" Ayame started.

"…book." Kakashi finished.

"Hai. I knew I had heard those lines from somewhere. And I had just finished reading Make Out Violence last week and then it hit me, so I had to check it, and there it was."

"Isn't that the book Kakashi-sensei is reading?" Sasuke interjected.

"Iie," Sakura spoke up for the silent sensei. " Kakashi-sensei finished that one a few months ago. Now it's Passion Spring."

Naruto failed to see the significance of the book in the young girl's hands and proceeded to walk directly in front of her to try to read the cover while she swung it around wildly.

"Tomoyo-chan, did it really say `passionate romance'?" Sakura wasn't sure of the way the young girl phrased those two words.

Tomoyo looked to the ceiling then back down at the other girl and stated with a straight face, "I improvized. If you'd like I can read the rest to you. It is quite interesting what they do on page-" Tomoyo found her last words muffled by the hand covering her mouth. Ayame giggled lightheartedly and snatched the book from her hand before removing his fingers.

"Ero….sennin?" Naruto caught the words on the cover as Ayame pulled it out of reach. "Ero-sennin only writes naughty books." The words sank in. "AH! Ero-Sennin! That means-"

"Hai, Naruto, we know." Sakura spat.

"…that book…" He followed the book with his eyes as Ayame placed it in a drawer. "…that book is a naughty book."

What happened next was cause for great concern. A shinobi is taught to never leave themselves unguarded for the fear of a sneak attack. So when a shinobi is left standing in the middle of a clothing store with a large red mark clearly left from a hand that does not belong to the shinobi, it is time for reconsidering one's position in life.

Ayame, Kakashi, Sakura, and even Sasuke stared at the little girl in disbelief. Naruto cupped his cheek in his hand and rubbed it for comfort.

"Jiriaya-sama's writings are not naughty. They are far from it. They are…" Tomoyo's eyes sparkled, "…romance."

"Would someone PLEASE help me with these boxes!" Postino's exasperated screams filtered through the open door followed by a loud thud. "AHH!"

A large brown lump that somewhat resembled a box ricocheted off the hinges of the door and settled at Kakashi's feet.

Kakashi, understanding the man's frustration at not having the help actually `help,' nodded at the genin to do the job they were required to do. Sasuke headed for the door immediately, kicking Naruto's shin on the way. The semi-dazed boy was still rubbing his cheek when he turned to follow. Another box flew into the doorway, this time followed by a large clipboard with many multi-colored forms littering the floor like confetti.

"Why do we even HAVE help? You know, I'm not required to do this. Hasn't he heard of UPS? I'm not meant to carry boxes upon boxes of god-knows-what into this freakish store which never ceases to force migraines onto my mind." The words flew from his lips with such speed that not even Ayame could understand the rambling man as he limped after his clipboard.

"Postino-san, what happened?" Tomoyo ran to his aid.

"I dropped one of the boxes on my foot." Postino attempted a glare but it soon melted to a small frown when he saw the concern on her little face.

"I'll get your papers, Postino-san, please sit down." She nudged him towards her stool and he was more than glad to accept the offer as she retrieved the papers scoured about the tile.

"You really shouldn't be trying to carry all those boxes by yourself," Ayame shook his head at the man, as if it was his fault.

"Well, I was trying to get my job here done so I could continue with the rest of the mail." He tapped the large duffel still attached to his right side.

"That's why I asked for help," Ayame commented nonchalantly as he waved his hand dismissively at the three shinobi now carting box upon box into the store as Tomoyo directed them towards the back rooms.

Postino halfway stood off the chair, ready to fling insults at the irritatingly calm shopkeeper as Kakashi picked up the damaged box off of the floor.

"Don't worry, Postino-kun. We'll take care of the rest. We don't want any of the goods damaged now do we?" His smile shone through the black cloth masking his face as he held up the battered object.

"No, that we don't." Postino forced a smile on his face. Was he supposed to be happy or angry at the man's statement? Did he just insult him while smiling like that? Postino felt his hatred for the daily stop at the store raise to another level. Did these people live to torture him?

"Umo-sa, Umo-sa, Kakashi-sensei, what are we supposed to do now?" Naruto questioned as Sakura carried in the last box.

"Did you carry in all the boxes?"

"Hai."

"Ayame-san, sign please." Postino had abandoned the stool for a more opportune spot right in front of the shopkeeper, clipboard and pen in hand.

"Hai, hai, thank you Postino"

"Yeah, whatever, you know what they say."

"No, what is that?"

"That good fortune can be found right under your nose."

"But that doesn't really apply to this situation, does it?" Sasuke returned to his seat in the corner.

"Yes, but, I'm required to say it. It's part of my contract." Postino sighed as he snatched the clipboard from Ayame.

"We'll see you tomorrow!" Ayame waved enthusiastically as Postino weakly acknowledged the statement with a soft grunt and a slight wave of his hand.

Bing. Bing.

"Umo, what are we doing now, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked again.

"I suppose, we are done, if all the boxes are in order."

"NO!" Tomoyo blurted, earning a raised eye brow from the older shinobi. "Well, it's just that…you haven't seen Ayame-sama in a long time right? You two should catch up. We still need to go through the boxes and make sure everything is here."

"We could use the help, I suppose," Ayame commented, noticing the need in the girl's voice.

"Yes, yes, we could."

"There are no other missions for today, so we can stay for a little longer."

"Good, that's so good to hear." Tomoyo glanced at her watch, a small smile gracing her features.

"What's this?" Sakura pulled a long black jacket, clearly made for a broad-shouldered man out of the nearest box. They had been hanging up tuxes and dresses for the past half hour but this jacket was clearly an oddity in the mix. Sure, it was a straight-forward black cotton jacket, but the red lettering that adorned the back was the weird thing. "Think safety? Who would want that on a jacket?"

"Maybe Naruto should get one of those." Sasuke joked. Sakura chuckled. Naruto looked confused.

Ayame pulled the coat out of Sakura's hands and placed it on the nearest rack, scrutinizing the details, "Hmm, well, it looks well enough."

"I thought you made things like that, Ayame-san, why have it shipped in?" Naruto pulled at its hem.

"Well, the few tuxes and dresses that are in these boxes were special orders. They requested we have the exact ones that they specified and unfortunately I didn't have all the materials so we ordered the clothing and we'll be doing alterations tomorrow." He slapped Naruto's hand away. "This piece right here was a really hard one to get. The owner of this jacket was very specific. He couldn't have regular cotton, it had to be from a specific cotton mill in the United States due to chaffing issues, and the lettering on the back had to be stamped on lettering. I told him that it would be better if I stitched it on myself. It'll last longer, but he insisted that it had to be that way and so, I of course obliged. Though, I couldn't make that here. I do not have that sort of equipment, so that's why I had it in the shipment."

"The stitching is always the better choice." Tomoyo stated as she continued marking off a paper on her pink clipboard and glancing at her watch. A check here, an X there.

"I do agree, Tomoyo-chan, and I said so. You know how hard headed he can be."

"Hai," she replied absently checking her watch again and sketching a minute Kero-chan next to the order invoice. Her pink foot began to tap in a hurried rhythm.

Bing Bing

A head of brown hair slowly edged through the doorway to reveal large blue eyes.

"Sohma-san?"

"Tohru, what a pleasant surprise," Ayame dropped the pint-sized suit he was hanging up and pranced over to visit with his new guest. So many people in one day.

She giggled nervously as she noticed that all eyes were on her and bowed slightly at her approaching host. "Konichiwa. I was just coming to pick up Kyo-kun's clothes."

At the mention of Kyo, Tomoyo was latched onto her side. "How is Kyo-kun? Is he ready to start shooting next week? Did he make it home in time? Or did he jump in your arms? Or did he transfo…" Ayame quickly covered the girl's mouth, lest she give away too much information in front of the help.

"…transform into a pumpkin. Hehe," Ayame shook his head at his botched attempt at a witty recovery. Well, a pumpkin was orange like a cat.

"Oy! I can transform into a pumpkin. Wanna see?" Naruto jumped, ready to display his ninjitsu techniques.

"You'll turn into a fish, like last time," Sakura voiced.

"Yeah, a dead fish." Sasuke stood from his position on the floor and began breaking down the empty boxes with Kakashi.

Tohru flinched at the thought of the boy transforming into a dead fish. Why was it that it made her think of Hatori in his animal form? She shook again at the memory of Hatori shaking on the cold floor of his apartment so long ago, and her having no clue what to do. Then her mind thought of him transforming back while she was talking to Kanna…transforming…Her cheeks flushed a deep crimson as the events of two days prior flashed in her head.

"Tohru-san?" Tomoyo was still awaiting some sort of confirmation that Kyo was doing well.

Tohru blinked and centered herself on the girl. Her words came out in a sudden rush, a high pitched squeak accenting each syllable. "He's fine. Everything is fine. I didn't see anything. I mean, not that there was anything to see. I mean I turned and nothing was in view so I couldn't have seen anything and he's fine. Did I say he was fine?"

"Yes, Tohru, I do believe you already stated that fact for us." Ayame gave the blushing girl a knowing smile as he retrieved Kyo's clothing from the closet and placed it into Tohru's waiting hands. Tomoyo, upon being freed from her worries, returned to staring at her clipboard and wristwatch.

"Tohru-san…" the child's voice was almost inaudible as she motioned for the young woman to lean down to her height. "Umm, were there a lot of people in line in front of the bookstore still?"

Tohru gave the girl a questioning glance. She was half-expecting the question to be about Kyo, not about the store across the street. "Hai, I saw a line coming out of the store trailing all the way down passed the teahouse and wrapping around the corner. What's going on over there?"

Tomoyo sighed, rubbing her temples with both of her hands, stretching and pulling her skin, causing a large wrinkle to fade in and out on her wide forehead. "That's going to be a problem."

"A problem?"

"Hai," she turned to the ticking object on her arm one more time, "Only 45 minutes left."

"Till what?"

"He's gone." Tomoyo only realized then that Ayame had left the two of them to their conversation and had taken to one of the beanbag chairs, as well as Kakashi. They were having a quiet conversation while Ayame's arms flailed wildly pointing every now and then at the grey toy Kakashi was examining in his grip.

"Who is `he'?" Tohru cocked her head at the girl's behavior. Tomoyo was being way to serious.

"Who is `he'?" Tomoyo repeated the question and smirked as her eyes settled on the three shinobi still conversing over marine life.

"Would it be a goldfish again?"

"If you call that `gold.'"

"I said, I'd be a pumpkin, damn it, not a FISH!"

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Holy Shit! Did I just….I think I did…I think I just posted this part of the story up. I DID! I DID! Oh my GOD! I actually posted! It's a miracle! PRAISE ALLA!!!!

Anyways, I haven't finished the mayhym of this day yet. I know it's been a while and I still didn't finish the day. Gomene. You know the usual excuses. They do hold true here though. I've been so out of it and with work and starting back up with classes, I've been looking for someone to strangle, so, yeah, comedy hasn't been running in my viens lately. I mean, I have two Exedrin Migrane left. Damn headaches! Ok, so there was my little complaining tirade.

Many thanks to all who have reviewed. We love all eight of you, or how many there are. Thanks to Ariyana for the constant reviewer comments. It's nice when you know some people are waiting for the next chapter.

We also have another project we just started in the works called Flaming Duck Presents Yukinaton 80: Inuyasha Style. Don't ask me how I started it and got the first chapter done in two days and couldn't even get half of Friday done within a month and a half. Wow, it's been a long time. Once again, I'm sorry. Hopefully, I'll have more time and inspiration so I can get the second half of Friday out in a timely manner. Until then, I'll be watching Saiyuki, as per my new obsession, and checking back for reviews. I like reviews. They spark my happiness factor which brings on spurts of bubbly goodness which leads to more anime writing fun. I don't have a clue what I just wrote there, don't ask me. Ja!