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Autumn Leaves

Chapter 5 of 5

I remember waking up to a bundle of cuteness in front of my face. She was wrapped in a pink blanket and cooing, her hands straining to reach for my nose.

Then little things about everything seemed to catch my attention… the ray of sunlight streaming through the curtains, the way the autumn leaves were drifting beyond the glass.

"Touya?" Ottosan's voice was scarcely more than a whisper. He took away the baby to get a better look at me. "Are you awake?"

I rubbed my eyes, shaking off the sleep from them. My muscles were a little bit shaky, but otherwise, I felt fine. "What do you mean, 'tousan?" I asked groggily.

"You mean, you don't remember anything?"

During that time, I didn't. I just thought, I must've had a very long fitful sleep, but I can't clearly remember. Okasan placed her hand on my forehead. I was surprised that I didn't see her earlier. I was about to ask what's going on when she motioned for me to be quiet. I drifted back to sleep.

My memories of the next few days were hazier, but I remember doctors and nurses coming every once in a while to check on me. Something real bad must've happened to have them all fussing over me like that. Ottosan was sometimes there. And the baby. But he was drawn inside himself and never talked. Okasan however, was always there. Sometimes she sits by the window, humming her favorite tune. Our 'Duet piece'. I think we recorded it in a tape somewhere. But one thing puzzled me. When Ottosan visits, they never talk with each other. He doesn't even acknowledge her presence. Did they have a fight? One day, I decided to bring my concern out in the open.

"Ottosan, did you and Okasan have a fight?"

"What?" he looked at me strangely, his game of peek-a-boo with the baby halted.

This was our first conversation in months. It's not that I can't talk before. I just didn't find anything more important than catching up on my sleep.

"I mean," I yawned. Staying awake was getting harder by the second. "I don't see you and Okasan talking since I woke up…" I looked at him, then at Okasan who was playing with the baby. She paused too, and was as surprised as he.

He looked at Okasan's direction, then me.

"Touya…" he faltered, seemingly at war with himself, "Nadesico, your Mother… she died a month ago."

I think I gaped at him like he was the crazy one.

"You're joking," I whispered. "You're joking, Ottosan!"

But he picked up the baby and walked to me, through Okasan.

I was more shocked than afraid when I saw that. Okasan didn't look at me when that happened. She continued to stare at the autumn leaves dancing outside.

Ottosan sat at the chair beside the bed. He placed the baby on his lap where I could clearly see her.

"Sakura," he sweetly cooed at her, "Meet your Oniisan…"

She seemed to understand, and she giggled her assent. She had very large inquisitive eyes. Like hers…

I stared at him, then the baby, then Okasan. I remembered the promise she gave during that terrible night:

I will protect you To-ya…

* * *

"Gomen…" Touya paused his story telling as he struggled to wipe the tear which escaped down his cheek.

Then he cried silently, burying his face on Yuki's chest, listening to the comforting beat of his lover's heart. His shoulders didn't shake. The only sign that he was crying was the spreading patch of wetness on Yuki's shirt.

"I loved her so much, koi… I thought I was the strong one… but in the last moment, she was the one who protected me…"

"Shh, shh…" Yuki whispered, gently rubbing Touya's shoulder. He was taken aback, seeing Touya like this. He wanted to end the story telling, but he knew that Touya needed this, or he will never get over it. He closed his eyes, praying for his lover's strength.

"That very afternoon, I forced myself to get up," continued Touya, slowly at first, then more resolutely, "I was determined to visit her grave no matter what…"

* * *

All she had was a simple slab of black granite. I knelt as I ran my fingers across her name, her date of birth, and the inscription, 'Beloved by All'. Ottosan was silent as he watched over me. I could sense his sorrow, his pain…

His beloved half was gone.

I think we stayed there, saying nothing until the sky grew dark and we had to go home.

Home. It was different. Ottosan opened the door, and it was dark inside. Okasan used to keep all the lights on to welcome us. But with her gone, it seemed improper to do it anymore. I noticed the thin film of dust gathering on the piano.

"She used to play for you," Ottosan said, his voice soft. "Even when she was so sick, she always hoped that the music will reach you…"

Okasan. She was always thinking of others.

The piano lay open. In a moment, Okasan would come bounding in, with a bouquet of flowers for the vase on its hood, and motion me to come play the Duet with her. But of course, that would never be. Then I saw that instead of a vase, there was a silver picture frame on the piano. I took it gently in my hands and gazed at my Mother.

She was as she always was. And now, she will never change. For Ottosan and me, and all those who loved her, she will always be the shining Nadesico.

When I composed 'Of a Hanging Embrace.' I offered it to her and Ottosan, of their fleeting time together; to Sakura who will never know her…

… Then I closed the piano.

And never opened it again.

At the behest of my Father, I set the notes to paper and sent it to my sponsor in the Conservatory as gratitude. But I explained that I didn't want to go anymore. The music has died for me.

A few months later, I received the recording. But I didn't listen to it. This was the first time, Yuki…

* * *

Touya lay in his lover's arms. Somehow, telling the story made the pain throb a little less.

"Why does she have to die, koi?"

Yuki didn't know the answer either. So he simply closed his eyes and shared his lover's grief. He doesn't understand what it meant having a mother, or a father. He didn't know what a family actually was until he met the Kinomotos.

But now, after hearing Touya's tale, he felt a tinge of longing for a home that was more than a dream…

"To-ya," Yuki whispered, "You were lucky to have a mother like her…"

He ran his fingers along Touya's damp cheeks, following the trail of tears down to his chin. Then gently, he raised his face and met his lips for a kiss.

You saved his life…he thought, thinking of Nadesico.

I know, I can't do much… but I promise, I won't ever hurt To-ya… and I'll make him happy for you.

The kiss was a mere pittance compared to Nadesico's gift, but it was all Yukito could give.

Someday, he promised her, You'll hear him play again…

<<The End>>

That's it then! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! Read my other fics, too… love you, Yuki!