Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Card Captor Sakura - Altered World ❯ Interlude: Love and Anxiety ( Chapter 11 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Card Captor Sakura - Altered World
Card Captor Sakura - Altered World

Notes: This fanfic will be S+S, and will deal with more mature concepts later on. Read at your own risk. I'm poor; don't sue. I don't own CCS at all.


Interlude: Love and Anxiety

A red-eye Chinese girl was outside on a balcony, alone. A cold breeze made strands of her hair tangle with each other, but she didn't seem to mind. She stared vacantly at city lights of Tomoeda at night.
Meiling knew that there was something different about Syaoran ever since he had moved to Japan. He smiled on an occasion. He had softened slightly. She didn't like it. Someone was making his mask crack and it wasn't her. She was worried. She absentmindedly fingered her engagement bracelet. Threads of gold weaved together, a simple bracelet yet so precious. Syaoran's mother had given it to her when it was apparent that her engagement to Syaoran was going to last. It had been already been ten years since when the engagement had been made.
"Hey, Meiling. Is something wrong?" asked a male voice from behind her.
"Nothing, Syaoran," she said turning around to see a young man with dark eyes that pierced easily into her heart. She smiled and grabbed onto his arm happily. He sighed and let her do as she wished.
"Syaoran, the promise is still exists, right?" she asked while resting her head on his shoulder. Her features softened so that she appeared to be vulnerable girl, extremely unusual for her case.
"Yeah," he said rather vaguely.
He was kind, that's why she loved him. Ever since that day… And he continued to be kind, no matter how neglected he was by his mother. His heart had been sealed together already by duty when she had met him. She still hoped that she could undo it.
"What is that smell?" he asked breaking her thoughts. She sniffed the air.
"Ah my cake!" she said and ran to the kitchen.
Syaoran sighed. Her question had slightly disturbed him though. Where was the usual confidence she had displayed? Sure, he had no desire for the engagement to continue but a promise was a promise. And she was his only friend from childhood. He didn't want to break her heart. Was it better that he continued with the engagement when he could never love her more than a sister? If it wasn't, he already had led her on for so long. Guilt began to surge through him and he knew he had trapped himself too deeply to find a solution where both parties could have happiness.
"Syaoran, I burnt the cake," Meiling said suddenly popping in front of him and presenting him with a charcoal mass in a no longer shining pan. She looked a bit upset. He noticed.
He tore a piece anyway. He put it in his mouth and chewed. His face remained expressionless when he said, "It's okay."
There he was being so nice again… It made her heart burst with joy. She dropped the pan onto the ground with a clang and hugged him tightly.
"Meiling, loosen your grip a bit," he asked, rasping for air.
"Sorry Syaoran," she said as she complied. She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes, enjoying the comfort of his warmth. After a long silence, she opened her eyes slowly.
"Syaoran, do you love me?"
Red eyes locked onto amber eyes, lies could not be told under such a gaze. Nor would he lie normally as honour did not permit him to.
"I-I… I…"
She withdrew her gaze and snuggled deeper into his chest.
"It's okay that you don't answer. As long as I'm the girl that you care about most, it doesn't matter that you love me or not."
"Don't you think our marriage would be empty though?" he asked softly, almost whispering, being afraid that such words would hurt her.
"As long as I'm with you, it's okay," she said and closed her eyes again, allowing the pang in her chest to ebb away. She would eventually soften his heart in their marriage. A life without Syaoran, unimaginable. She had planned her life to be with him. She definitely didn't know what to do if he decided that there was a girl that he cared more that her. Engagement broken, her love of ten years lost to her. Fear gripped her and she didn't know why but began to cry. Don't leave me please.
Syaoran felt his shirt being soaked. Tears?
"Meiling, why are you crying?"
She began to sob harder. He smoothed her hair, in attempt to relax her. He was being kind to her yet again, and in return, she helplessly fell deeper in love with him. Please don't let there be a day where I have to plan a life without you…
And they stood there on the balcony for hours. She cried in his arms and he continued to comfort her.

Author's Notes:
This is kind of my response to all those 'Meiling is a bitch, deserves to die' people out there. Sure they may have just seen the Nelvana CCS but Meiling is really a beautiful character too, as seen in the Sakura Card season and Movie 2. Don't assume the worst of people until you have seen all sides to them.
Most people don't see that Meiling is helplessly in love in a person that won't love her back. She knows that too. And therefore turns a hostile face to all that may take her love away. I believe her confidence is a façade to cover up her uncertainty in love. She isn't perfect but no one is.
I had stalled putting out this for a long time. I admit I don't love Meiling but I do have lots of respect for her.
April 1, 2001, Christine Chan aka Kinomoto Sakura of Ffnet