Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Comfort ❯ Revelations ( Chapter 4 )

A/N: At this point, the original title doesn't seem quite right, but like I've said, I didn't think I'd write more than just the first part. Thanks again for your wonderful reviews. This section features flashbacks, the beginning indicated with <--, and the ending indicated with -->. Also, the flashback text is italicized to distinguish it from the regular story text. Confused? Well, enough jabbering-I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats after my evil cliffhanger (LOL). So, did you guess right? Let's find out.

Disclaimer: CCS is the property of CLAMP, etc.

Comfort -> Longing -> Feelings -> Revelations

"Dammit, dammit, dammit!" Touya slammed his car door and trudged up the walk to the house. I hope I haven't ruined everything. He shoved his key into the lock and went inside. "Dammit!"

"Did you two have a nice time?" Fujitaka asked ironically from the living room.

Touya found his father sitting and pretending to read the newspaper. He sank down on the opposite end of the sofa and put his hands over his eyes. "We did, until I screwed everything up."

Fujitaka set the folded newspaper aside. "What happened?"

<--

Tomoyo opened her amethyst eyes and saw Touya smiling at her tenderly. She brushed his dark hair out of his warm brown eyes and gave him a soft kiss. They held each other close, wishing that this moment would never end.

"I love you," Tomoyo whispered.

Touya felt his heart expand in his chest. He wanted to shout with joy. His angel loved him! He sat up, pulling her up with him. He looked into her beautiful eyes and saw the love shining there. At that moment, he knew he felt it, too. He'd denied it for weeks, but it had been there all along.

It had been so hard. During all the time they'd spent together he'd been able to hide it, even from himself. But he wouldn't let himself touch her. Now he knew why. It had been his way of protecting himself from the truth. He couldn't deny how he felt when he touched her.

Little by little, she'd chipped away at the wall he'd built around his heart with her kindness, her humor, her warmth. Then last night, when he finally gave in to her, to his feelings, the wall fell. He'd started to realize it this morning, and all day, the feeling had just become stronger and stronger.

He was completely in love with her.

She was looking at him, waiting for him to say something. How much time had passed since those life-changing words had been spoken? Too much. Anything he said now would be too late. It probably seemed like he was thinking too much about it, weighing her words and trying to figure out the best way to respond.

He would have told her how he felt, but the words were stuck in his throat. He couldn't say them. He'd promised himself he'd never say them again. But he never thought he'd fall in love again.

He thought he saw a flicker of disappointment in her eyes, but she was still smiling sweetly. He had to say something. He had to explain. "Tomoyo…"

She put a finger to his lips. "Are you happy?" she asked softly.

He nodded. When he was with her, he was happier than he ever thought he could be. "But, Tomoyo..."

She shook her head. "That's all I need."

She never ceased to amaze him. He traced his finger along her cheek before kissing her, putting everything he couldn't say into that kiss. He could only hope that she would understand.

When he pulled away from her, he refastened the buttons on her blouse, and she started to giggle. "You know, most girls get dinner first," she teased.

"Well, we've always done things backwards, haven't we?" he replied. This was better. If they could still tease each other, maybe everything would be all right after all. "We can still go somewhere, if you want."

"Good. I'm starving." She stood up and patted her skirt. "Now, where are my-"

"Here." Her knickers were dangling from his finger. When she tried to take them, he raised them out of her reach. "Are you sure you need these?"

She grabbed them and discretely pulled them on under her skirt. "I don't know what you would do with them. Unless there's something you're not telling me…."

That just reminded him of what he wasn't able to say. She misinterpreted the expression that crossed his face. "I'm just kidding," she said quickly, kissing his cheek. "Let's go eat."

-->

"It doesn't sound that bad," Fujitaka mused when Touya had finished his story, leaving out the more salacious details.

"When I took her home, she told me again. She says that as long as I'm happy, she's happy." Touya shook his head. "What if she's just pretending that it's okay? What if I've hurt her? I couldn't live with myself."

"So you do love her." He'd suspected as much. Just by watching the two of them together, he could see it.

"I do. She's sweet, and fun, and, God, she's so beautiful. We can talk about anything. And when we… when we…" Touya closed his eyes tightly, remembering. "…it's like I'm whole," he finished in a hoarse whisper.

"You have to tell her."

"I can't," Touya said quietly, leaning his head against the back of the sofa and staring up at the ceiling. "I've only said it to two people in my life, and they both left me. After that last time with Kaho, I swore that I wouldn't put myself in that position ever again."

"You're already there. You love her," his father reminded him. "Saying it or not doesn't change that."

"What if it doesn't work out?"

"What if it does?"

For some reason, he hadn't thought of that. He was so afraid of losing this happiness he'd found that he hadn't even considered that he wouldn't. But his relationship with Tomoyo was completely different than the others. It wasn't based on an attraction to power. There were no ulterior motives, no secret agendas. He'd always had to give so much of himself without getting anything back. But with Tomoyo, it wasn't like that. It was just… normal. Maybe that's why he found it so confusing. He'd never been in a normal relationship before.

Maybe it could work.

If only I could tell her….

Fujitaka could see these thoughts running through his son's mind. "You'll find a way," he said.

He had to. He couldn't lose her.

~*~

Tomoyo sat at her dressing table, slowly brushing her long dark hair as she got ready for bed. She studied her reflection in the mirror, wondering if she looked any different. She felt different.

She'd said it. It was real now.

<--

Tomoyo woke up just as the sun was rising. She stretched lazily, feeling the weight of something heavy draped across her waist. She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw the man sleeping next to her.

He was so cute when he was sleeping, so peaceful. The frown lines that normally creased his forehead had disappeared, and his nose twitched as he dreamed. I wonder if he's dreaming about me. His arm tightened around her waist, and a little smile came to his lips as he mumbled something. He'd better be dreaming about me.

That's when it hit her.

I love him.

She tenderly brushed back the hair that always seemed to fall across his forehead, and he sighed in his sleep. "Tomo," he mumbled as he rolled away from her. She was afraid she'd woken him up, but she could hear his soft, even breathing, and his arm was now curled around his pillow.

I love him.

Maybe it should have surprised her, but it didn't. It was the most natural thing in the world. She'd meant it when she'd told him that a part of her had loved him for years. She'd always looked up to him. He was smart and athletic, generous and kind, and better looking than anyone she'd ever seen. She'd always hoped to find someone like him when she grew up.

She'd never dreamed that one day he'd end up in her bed, and she in his.

It looked like Touya was going to sleep all morning, but she was wide awake. She started feeling restless. She couldn't just sit there. She had to do something. She slowly climbed out of bed, careful not to wake him. She picked his shirt up off the floor and slid her arms into it, leaving the top three buttons undone. As she headed downstairs, she decided she would surprise him with breakfast in bed, and then she'd tell him how she felt, and they'd spend the rest of the day making love.

She had barely started making the tea when he found her in the kitchen. Then he started kissing her, and she wanted to just skip breakfast and go back to bed.

But it turned out that would have to wait, too.

-->

So things didn't go quite the way I thought they would, Tomoyo thought now as she set her hairbrush down. But at least I finally told him.

She'd never told anyone that she loved them before. Well, there was Sakura, when they were ten, but that didn't count. Sakura didn't understand what she meant. Of course, now Tomoyo knew that she didn't really understand it, either. It was an easy word for children to say, because it was a simple emotion for them. But as an adult, she knew for the first time what love was, how wonderfully complicated it could be. It was something you just couldn't understand until you were swept up in it, overwhelmed by it, consumed by it.

Which she was.

And so she told him.

She was a little disappointed that he didn't say anything, but she knew what he was feeling. She could read him, even if he thought he was good at keeping his feelings locked inside. I know he cares for me. Why didn't he say it?

Tomoyo walked over to her bed and picked up the blue shirt that was sitting on top of the comforter. She held it to her face and inhaled deeply. It still smells like him. I wonder if he's noticed it missing yet. She pulled Touya's shirt on and fastened the buttons. She'd impulsively shoved it in the backpack as she'd gotten her things together, wanting a piece of him to take with her. She wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes, trying to imagine that he was holding her. It's just not the same.

She pulled the comforter back and got into bed, pulling the sheets close. She lay on her side, her eyes wide open. It was late, and she knew she should go to sleep, but she wasn't tired. She replayed the evening's events in her mind. What if I'm wrong? she worried. What if he doesn't love me?

Silly girl, the little voice inside her chided. Of course he loves you. He couldn't touch you the way he does if he didn't love you.

So why didn't he say it?

It's only been a few weeks, the voice reminded her. You've just started getting to know each other. Give him time.

But I love him so much.

I know, the voice consoled. Believe me, I know.

~*~

"That was a wonderful dinner. Thank you so much for inviting me," Tomoyo said the next evening as she helped Touya clear the table.

"You're always welcome, dear. You're family," Fujitaka replied. "Now, I'm afraid I've got some work waiting for me. I hate to leave you with all this."

"Don't worry. We'll take care of it," Touya said, filling the sink with warm, soapy water.

"Thanks. Save me a piece of cake." Fujitaka filled his teacup and left the kitchen, heading for his study.

Tomoyo and Touya stood together silently as they washed the dishes. They'd fallen into a habit of him washing and her drying, and by now she knew where everything went. He helped her put the dishes on the higher shelves, and when they were all put away, he tossed his towel on the counter and turned to her.

"Hi," he said. It was the first time they'd been alone all evening.

"Hi," she answered with a little giggle. "How are you?"

"I've been better." She looked at him with concern until he put his hands on her waist. "Do you realize I haven't gotten to kiss you yet? I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold out."

"Well, then," she said with a coy smile, sliding her hands up his chest, "I guess we should do something about that."

He chuckled as he lowered his head and kissed her sweetly, gently caressing her lips with his. Her arms went around his neck, and he held her close, breathing in the subtle fragrance of her hair. "Now, I'm good," he said with a contented sigh.

"Me, too," she replied, pulling back to look up at him. "How about some dessert?" He gave her a lascivious grin and reached for her again. "I meant cake," she clarified.

"Oh," he said flatly, dropping his hands to his sides. "Cake." She swatted him, and he laughed. "I'll get the tea." He placed the cups and pot on a tray, then watched while she sliced the cake. "It looks really good. But you didn't have to bring anything."

She put each chocolate sliver on a plate. "I've mooched dinner off you three nights in a row. The least I could do is make dessert." She found two forks and picked up a plate in each hand. "Let's go see what's on television."

They sat down on the sofa, and Touya clicked the remote control, looking for the news. They watched the local reports and weather forecast, but Tomoyo found her attention drifting until the features segment came on.

"Oh, I've heard about that," she said, pointing at the set with her fork. "The museum is having a special exhibit on women's fashion. They're supposed to have an amazing collection of authentic period costumes." Her amethyst eyes were starry as she imagined the inspiration for new designs she'd get from seeing the exhibit.

Touya sighed. Only Tomoyo would get excited over something like that. "So, I'll get tickets."

She looked at him like he was Santa Claus on Christmas morning. "Really?"

"Sure, but it will cost you." He held up a finger. "One baseball game."

Now she looked at him like he'd just run over Santa Claus with his car. "No, anything but that!" she cried in mock horror.

"My boss said I could have his tickets again this weekend." She made a face. "Give it another chance. You might like it."

"But it's so boring!" She couldn't understand how a sport could take three hours just to reach a final score of two to one.

"So are clothes," he pointed out, "but I'm going to the fashion exhibit because I want to be with you."

Ooh, that was smooth, she thought. "You know just how to get me, don't you?" She saw the look in his eyes change from amusement to something else.

"I sure do," he said huskily as he pulled her onto his lap. He covered her mouth with his, kissing her the way he'd wanted to before. He persuaded her lips to part, and he swept his tongue between them. She tasted like chocolate. He guessed that he probably did, too. She kissed him back, rubbing her tongue against his and sinking her fingers into his hair. He felt his chest constrict from just these simple touches, and his arm tightened around her. His free hand disappeared under her skirt and squeezed her silk-clad knee. She moaned softly into his mouth as his hand crept higher, caressing the inside of her thigh, stroking her soft skin. She shifted in his lap, and he groaned as his body responded to her. His lips moved to her ear. "Want to go upstairs?"

She wanted to, but she shook her head. "We can't," she whispered breathlessly. "Your father's here."

"So?" He began nibbling her earlobe, knowing it always made her melt. "He knows we're sleeping together."

"Touya!" She pulled away. Her eyes were round with shock, and her cheeks turned pink.

"What? He does."

"I know, but…" She put her hands over her eyes. "It's just so embarrassing!"

He laughed. "Look who's so shy all of a sudden. What happened to my little hussy?" He clasped his hands over his heart and mimicked her high, breathy voice. "'Kiss me, Touya. Make love to me, Touya. Oh, Touya. Oh, God, Touya!'"

Her cheeks burned even brighter, but she was laughing, too. And he'd called her his, which warmed her inside. "Oh, yeah? Well, what happened to…" She put the back of her hand against her forehead and sighed melodramatically. "'Oh, Tomoyo,'" she said woefully, pitching her voice low, "'don't you know it would be wrong for me to touch you? I must be noble and resist you, even though you're sexy and you smell good.'" She grinned at him. "How was that?"

"Why, you little…" He started tickling her, and she squealed and squirmed away from him. She scooted back as far as she could until she was pressed against the end of the sofa. "I've got you now," he growled, trapping her with his body. He leaned over her and grinned wickedly. She giggled as his fingers found her most ticklish spots, and she wriggled and writhed until she was lying flat on her back.

He stopped and looked down at her, her long hair tousled from wiggling about and her cheeks flushed from laughter, her eyes shining. She was beautiful. She looked just like she did after they'd made love. She saw his eyes turn black, and she licked her lips provocatively. His gaze dropped to her mouth. "Don't do that," he whispered.

"Do what?" she asked innocently as her little pink tongue darted out to sweep across her lips again.

"That," he said. "It makes me crazy." Just to be perverse, she teased him again. He closed his hand firmly around her wrist. "I warned you," he murmured as he captured the offending lips with his own, stretching out on top of her, crushing her body into the sofa cushions.

Her free arm went around his back as he kissed her hungrily. He released her wrist and slid his fingers through hers, grasping them tightly as their mouths melded together. She matched his passion, holding him to her, feeling his weight pressed against her.

"I love you," she whispered into his mouth.

This would have been a good time for him to say it back. But he couldn't. He literally couldn't. He didn't know how she was able to speak. He was having trouble just breathing, and thinking was almost impossible. How on earth was he supposed to form words? So instead he kept kissing her, soft nibbling kisses and hot frantic kisses, kisses that were going to lead to more if he didn't stop.

She was on fire. Their tongues danced, thrusting in blatant imitation of the union their bodies longed for. She slid her hand under his sweater, stroking his back, wanting the sensation of his skin against hers. She needed to be part of him again, but they couldn't. Not now, not here. But it all just felt so good. "Touya," she breathed. She didn't know if she was telling him to stop or begging him not to.

"I know," he murmured against her lips. "I'll stop in a minute." The minute stretched longer and longer. He couldn't pull away. She was intoxicating, filling all his senses and leaving him craving more.

His hand found her breast and began kneading it through the fabric of her dress. She gasped and arched against him, pressing herself into his palm. She was getting swept away in a flood of desire, and she knew that if they didn't stop soon, they'd end up making love right there in the living room. Just a little more, she thought. Just a little more.

He felt her soft body yielding to him, and it was driving him mad. He wanted to bury himself in her heat, to get so lost in her that he couldn't find his way back. He massaged her breast as he tore his mouth from hers, moving his lips to her neck. He stroked his tongue along her skin, and her head fell back. She whimpered and moved beneath him, spreading her legs and cradling him between her thighs. He groaned and pressed himself against her, just a few thin layers of cotton separating their aching flesh.

And then she went too far. She lifted her hips and rubbed herself against his arousal. He cursed and jerked away from her as if she'd burned him. Which, in a way, she had.

"Dammit, Tomoyo. Are you trying to kill me?" he asked, breathing hard. His heart was pounding and his body was throbbing. He couldn't believe he'd let himself get so carried away, especially after she'd said no. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, fighting for control.

She didn't know if she should be sorry or angry. He was just as guilty as she was. But she'd started it, teasing him when he'd warned her not to. She sat up and tried to smooth down her wild hair. Her dress was bunched up around her waist, and she pulled the skirt back down over her legs. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to."

"So, then, rubbing your delicious little body against me was what, an accident?"

"I wasn't the only one, you know." Her voice was shaky. Either she was still trying to catch her breath, or she was trying not to cry.

He felt like an ass for being so harsh. "I know," he said, still not looking at her. She was right. It was his fault, too. He knew where kissing her always led. He could have stopped sooner. Who am I kidding? I couldn't have stopped if my life depended on it. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "God, I need my own place."

They sat there in silence, except for the television still droning in the background. Then the hall clock chimed the hour. Tomoyo stood up. "It's late. I should go home now."

"I'll take you," Touya said.

She nodded. "I need to freshen up, then I'll say good night to your father." She picked up her purse and walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Touya went into the kitchen and turned on the sink. He splashed cold water on his face and then reached into the cabinet for a glass. He filled it to the top, tilted his head back, and poured the water down his throat, not stopping until the glass was empty. He didn't feel any better, but he probably wouldn't until he'd apologized to her.

When he went back into the living room, Tomoyo was waiting for him. She slid her purse strap over her shoulder. "Let's go," she said.

"Come here," he said softly. She gave him a funny look before walking over to him. He took her in his arms. "I'm so sorry," he whispered against her hair. "I'm an absolute bastard."

She sighed and leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. "I wouldn't say that."

"I would. I'm sorry." He held her close. "I'll do anything to make it up to you."

There was a long pause before she spoke. "Does that mean no baseball game?"

It sounded like she was smiling. He was relieved. "Oh, no, you're not getting off that easy." He hugged her. "Ready to go?" She nodded, and he reluctantly pulled away from her. "Let me find my keys."

He drove her home and walked her to the door. She took his hands in hers and looked up at him with her mesmerizing eyes. "Do you want to come in for a minute?"

He knew she didn't mean it like it sounded (although a part of him wished she did), but he still shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You're probably right," she agreed. "When will I see you again?"

"I'll call you tomorrow, and we'll make plans." He lowered his head and kissed her gently. "Good night."

"Good night," she replied, looping her arms around his neck and kissing him not quite as gently. His arms went around her as the kiss deepened.

"You'd better go in before I change my mind about coming in with you," he teased against her lips.

She laughed and gave him a last quick kiss. "Okay. Good night." She touched his cheek and smiled softly. "I love you."

He grabbed her hand as she turned to go. "Wait." It was the perfect moment. He could tell her, and it would be an apology, a declaration, and a commitment, all at the same time. It scared him to death, but in an exhilarating way. His heart started to pound.

She looked at him expectantly. She was so beautiful, so incredible. He felt his love for her rush through his body. He was going to do it. He was going to say it. "Tomoyo, I-"

"What the hell is going on here?"

Touya and Tomoyo flinched and slowly turned around.

There, standing in the doorway, was a very angry Sonomi Daidouji.

~*~

A/N: Touya is wildly inconsistent, and I apologize for that. I know this wasn't quite as citrusy as the previous chapters, so I hope no one was too disappointed (LOL).