Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Leave a Third Chance ❯ Chapter 5: Deception of Yukito ( Chapter 5 )

Don't Leave a Third Chance

A/N: *squeals* I just got this new Chobits song, it's called Beyond, and it's a Minoru and Yuzuki duo! OMG it's so pretty! And guess what, Yuzuki and Ruki's voice actor (Ruki's from Digimon) are the same person! But they sound so different! And now I know why my fanfiction has those little grammar problems that I never meant for it to have. I have Microsoft Word, and it has a lot of automatic features which fix misspelled words and my ellipses, but when I upload them onto my account, the automatic stuff is left out... so now I have to watch every little detail -.-;;;. Meanwhile, I'm looking for a beta reader! So, just review and tell me you're interested and leave your email and AOL/MSN screenname if you have one, and I'll get back to you! So, onto the story!

Disclaimer: You see, if I DID own Card Captor Sakura, then I WOULDN'T HAVE LET WB AND OTHER TRANSLATORS SCREW IT UP AS MUCH AS THEY DID! Not that I'm saying CLAMP is irresponsible or anything..., but heck, they have so many hit manga and anime out there as well as they having little knowledge of the English language, they wouldn't know what WB and Nelvana did to poor CCS. How sad! So, anyway, I don't own CCS, so go screw yourself, and if you already do, then Roger applauds you (Roger is an... associate of mine) XD.

Dedicating this chappie to my radical boyfriend and sweetie, Quatre (no, not from Gundam Wing, it's a pseudoname). He is so sweet, and awesome, and a fricken genius, and the best! =^.^= I'm so lucky to have him! But one more thing…this chappie will have depressing and confusing moments, and no, this chappie does not correlate or symbolize my relationship with him. I'm just dedicating it to him ^-^.

Chapter 5: Deception of Yukito.

Yukito paced around his office, wearing down the plush green carpet as he frantically tried to sort out his confusing and degenerating life. If only his parents were still here... but they died... and within several months of each other, too. Now he has no one in the world except for Sakura, and what does he do? He cheats on her because he had to discover his sexuality at the age of 38! His parents would be ashamed of him right now, but he was more ashamed of himself. What a dependent man he became in this life, so like yet so unlike his previous life with Clow...

*flashback*

"What am I going to do with you, Yue?" asked Clow, as he put his arm around his snowy-haired guardian. The two lovers were sprawled out on Clow's canopy bed, snugly under the blankets and bedclothes after an evening of lovemaking. Yue could hear Keroberos snoring in the room across from Clow's, mumbling occasionally about pudding. He turned amber eyes to his master's ebony ones.

"What do you mean Master?" Yue questioned softly. Clow seemed so occupied lately. Although their love was still as strong as ever, Clow seemed so out of it lately, always busy and always in deep thoughts which Yue could tell was bothering the Card Master's soul. Yue was worried as well, but he never said a word. It wasn't his place to ask Clow any more than Clow offered to give him, and Clow already has given him more than he intended to, and more than Yue could ever be thankful for. And now, Yue dreaded Clow's answer to his question. Yue never liked to know more than what was necessary to know, especially bad news. Although his stoical appearance seemed as if he didn't care about anything in the world, he was in fact a very deep and empathetic being, especially when Clow is involved.

"I mean what am I going to do with you after I'm gone and reincarnated? How will you know where to find the new me? And most of all, when I'm gone, you'll be gone, and since you're not human, you'll be gone from this world forever. Kero has it easy since he has two forms and can remain immortal and locked into a book, but you aren't the same. I created you to be a humanoid companion... almost like a real person, except that I didn't make another human being. I'm not God. So... what am I going to do with you?" Clow pondered his thoughts out loud, and Yue listened, and his train of thought went along with his Master's.

Yue had actually never thought of life beyond his master's death. He just thought that Clow would live forever, and he himself as well as Keroberos would serve him forever. They'd be happy that way. Now, his master was pondering about his own death, but not only that, he was pondering about Yue's end too. It scared him sometimes how thorough Clow's mind was.

"If you don't mind master, I would like to be reincarnated with you so that I can serve you for all eternity," Yue said seriously, but at this stage, for a guardian who was supposed to mature over thousands of years, Yue was still a child, and he spoke with a childish air. Clow erupted into laughter at his statement.

"Oh, Yue, I wish that I could do that, but I don't have the skill or the power to always have a guardian with me wherever I go. Besides, wouldn't you like to have your own life?" Clow said, pushing Yue's long, sloppy bangs out of his eyes. He dropped a soft kiss on Yue's forehead.

Yue pondered at having his own life. Would he be able to live as a human, to grow up as one? Would he be able to live on his own? No..., it was almost too scary to think about! Yue's eyes clouded as he thought of life without someone to serve, without his Clow to love, without any purpose. What was the point in life then? And if he were to be a creature of nature, how will he know if he fulfilled the purpose set for him? Yue closed his eyes tightly.

"Master, please, it's too frightening to think about. Can't I remain with you forever? It'd be much simpler!"

"Oh Yue, there's so much you don't understand," sighed Clow, and he buried his face into Yue's white tresses, " People will suspect things if I live too much longer. They are already solicitous and sometimes even suspicious about my youthful looks at my age, and life has to move on. Soon, I will seal the Clow Book and Keroberos with it, and then plan for my end and reincarnation. You are too special to lock away in a book though... so I don't know what I can do with you. What do you want to do?"

Yue kissed Clow gently, sucking on his lower lip.

"As long as I have a chance to find you, Master Reed, I don't care what you plan to do with my future. My fate is up to you to decide." Yue said, looking directly into Clow's eyes.

Clow sighed a deep and heavy sigh. Everything of importance to Yue always ended up in his decision. He slightly regretted making Yue so indifferent and so dependent, but there was no use in that now. He would never regret creating Yue, no matter how Yue turned out. He was such a young magician then, he should have known that his creation wouldn't be perfect. But he was so lonely...and the love of his life had just left him.

She was so beautiful, so talented, so demure. Crimson locks of hair traveled down her back, and it was always is a mass of messy waves, caressing her face and looking so sloppy, yet so in place. The best thing about her hair was that it always made her look like she was dancing repeatedly the previous night, it made her look wild. Her eyes, dark sapphire depths, looked as if they could see into his soul. He was so foolish to fall in love with a gypsy, the only and illegitimate heir of the Duke with a native woman from Hong Kong. And the Duke was his major rival, the teacher at the Magic School of England that despised his cockiness, his potential, his ultimate power. And of course, he would shatter Clow's heart by taking the love of his live and returning her back to Hong Kong to whatever her fate might be. And Clow pined for her, even though she never knew of his existence. The Duke also outlawed Clow from England and made him situate himself in Japan, where he had to start over from the beginning, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered to him anymore. He didn't tell Yue that the reason he decided to die and reincarnate himself was not because he had not enough skill to live forever. He wanted another chance at finding his true love.

What Clow didn't know was that his lover, after a magical night and expression of feeling, was pregnant with his child, a boy. That girl would marry a man who was kind enough and who loved her enough to raise the boy as his own. The man's name was Li Baihu, or White Tiger, a man who would later manage to work his way up in the social pyramid, and give the only child he had known, the child that was not his, a chance. But Clow would know that soon while his spirit was in waiting for another body to reincarnate himself into. One hears and knows many things in limbo. Clow shook his head, clearing these messed up thoughts from his mind and concentrated on Yue.

He kissed down to the base of Yue's throat, trying to lose himself into his guardian's love. Clow refused to think that he had created Yue for HER replacement... no, he created Yue to prove his own magic prowess, and besides, they don't even look like each other. Clow pressed his lips to Yue's warm ones, and thought no more of other things, and Yue happily submitted to his master's caress.

*flashback*

In the end though, Yukito thought sadly as he remembered the last night he spent with Clow, you still decided to reincarnate me into a life of my own, a life that bewildered me. Yukito sighed. At least he had been born into a family of caring, restrictive parents. And of course, like his subservience to Clow, he listened to everything they said, did everything they instructed him to do, became their puppet, a momma's boy. And he also expected them to live forever. Humans age so fast, and Yukito still felt like he isn't ready, that he isn't mentally an adult. But he had to grow up, and under his parents' very specific instructions... he did well, and life was well until they died. And until Eriol appeared at their funeral...

Right away, at that moment, Yukito knew it was Clow's reincarnation. However, Yukito never expected to find Clow in his lifetime again, and here he was, Clow. After the funeral, as workers from Tsukishiro's Delivery Service and Yukito's family friends came to say their most sincerest apology and words of comfort, the Reincarnation stood on the side, watching him with navy blue eyes. Finally, Yukito summoned the courage to go over to him.

"Clow?" He uttered softly, looking into the blue-haired boy's eyes.

"I'm not Clow anymore, Yukito. I'm Eriol." he replied in that gentle way that Clow had. Immediately, Yukito's heart swelled. And he kissed the young man, the reincarnation of his love in the far past, not giving a thought to his wife who was currently with the children at their maternal grandpa's house.

But Eriol pulled away. "Yukito, things have changed. This is another life time. You have to live your own life, and you're married now. It's time to move on." Sad cobalt orbs gazed into deep mahogany, "I'm sorry Yue."

Then, the reincarnation known as Eriol walked slowly off, but to Yukito, it seemed like ever step he took was a separating them by a million miles. And just when Yukito decided to chase after Eriol, trying for another chance, he saw him with HER. Long red hair sweeping down her back, Yukito never saw the woman's face. All he saw was Eriol putting his arms around her, and her tucking her head into the nook between his neck and shoulder, and Yukito's world began to crumble. The foundation of his previous life and this life collapsed, all today. And he was left behind by the people he needed most, in a life that was not his, but created by those very people who had deserted him. As his eyes clouded with tears of a mix of emotions he couldn't name, he drifted through the day and ended up in a random bar in Tokyo.

And now, his life was once again collapsing. He managed to destroy his marriage, and the brother-sister relationship of the two people he loved the most in the world with the exception of his children. He hated Clow/Eriol for reincarnating him, hated Clow for moving on, hated Clow for creating the mess that he made today. And he hated himself for hurting Sakura, and for using Touya... how could he hate someone so much and then turn to use someone else in the very same way Clow used him? He was such a hypocrite.

At that moment, the phone rang. Yukito immediately jumped and picked it up.

"Hello?" He said frantically into the phone.

"I'm sorry Yukito," said the voice, and speak of the devil, it was Eriol, "Please don't give up hope Yukito. Everything will turn out fine, and I am sorry. But please, meet me tomorrow in Tomoeda Park. I have something to give to you... and please accept it as a token of my apology, and as a token of Clow's love for you. You have to understand, Yukito, I'm a different person from your Master. I may carry his characteristics, but I am not him. Please understand, and please accept. Clow would want you to have it." And then, Eriol hanged up.

"Wh-...?" Yukito could barely get into a word. Clow's love for him? As he was about to ponder and fall into further depression, the phone rang again.

Hoping it was Eriol again, Yukito picked up the phone. "Eriol?"

"No, it's Touya. Sakura as well as the kids is at Tomoyo's place, but I would advise you NOT to go over there to pick her up. Just letting you know. You can stop worrying now." Touya's cold voice seemed to be pouring a bucket of cold water onto Yukito. So, Sakura was safe. That much he felt thankful for. Now, how was he going to patch this up?

As Yukito heard the click of Touya's phone as he hanged up, he sank into his office swivel chair and ran a hand through his hair. Blurred through his clouded vision was a picture of Sakura, with Kazumi on her lap. She was slightly pregnant with Kouji at the time, but in the picture, it wasn't that apparent. Yukito gently picked up the frame and stared at it. As a drop of water dripped from his eyes and landed on the glass protecting the photo, he had a sad and foreign feeling within him that told him that this family was never meant to be his.

*me goes back a few hours, to right before Touya and Tomoyo's kissing scene!*

Tomoyo didn't know how long she stood there, in Touya's arms, being lost in a world that was swiling into non-existance, into a creamy blend of memories and the feeling of being loved, a feeling that she hadn't experienced in quite a while... her whole life? No, she was loved when she was little, and the strange thing was, it was by the same person who's mouth was pressed against hers now. A memory of her earliest crush, her earliest love interest before she realized that Sakura was beautiful and that it was okay to love someone of her own gender, came at her again. She remember telling Touya when she was 5 and he 13 that she wanted to marry him.

*flashback*

A/N: No, there is no child porn for you hentai readers out there. I'd just like to make a note to my webmistress (I have this story on http://shuyuka.snickerz.com, because I'm not sure about ffn's policy on NC-17 ratings, and I do plan to have quite a bit of lemons in here, or at least some citrus). SnickerZ mentioned that I had a lot of flashbacks in my story, and I discovered that she's right. The thing is, I'm going through a phase right now in which I revel in the writing of flashbacks, because AU stories tend to be a little unclear, and I didn't want this story to be one of those "start-at-adult-life-and-mention-little-of-past-because-its-AU" stories. Also, because I started out this story with so many rarely tried works (like the Sakura+Yukito pair-up as well as a fling between Tomoyo and Syaoran) that I needed a lot of explanations. Besides, it also helps me take a look inside my character's head and make them not seem like a total nutcase, or one sided. So, there you have it. I'm done, continuing on!

"Ow!" cried young Sakura as her brother gently dabbed at her superficially scraped knees. "It hurts, Touya! It hurts!"

"Well, it's really not my fault that you got yourself and Tomoyo hurt because you were being careless," chided Touya in that disdainful brotherly way of his. Although the tone hurt Sakura and made her believe all the way to early adulthood that her brother never cared about her, Tomoyo knew otherwise, and this was the first time that she discovered it. Unlike happy Sakura who would do anything to please and looked for outward signs of reassurance, Tomoyo learned at a very young age to read subtle body language, not facial to vocal signs. She had to; it was the only way she could understand and forgive her mother Sonomi for never having enough time for her because of the company. Daijouji Toys was the child of the Daidouji bloodline now. It needed a mother, not a sister.

Tomoyo could tell that Touya, in spite of acting careless and slightly annoyed, was really worried about his sister. A thin line of perspiration lined his brow as he continued to dab at his sister's wounds while reprimanding her on her rash behavior. Tomoyo noted that his eyebrows, hidden from Sakura's line of view by dark bangs, were scrunched up in a furrow rather like her mother's when she was looking over company reports. Tomoyo then knew that Touya, despite of the outer façade he put on, cared deeply for his sister.

That day, Fujitaka was at work, filling in for another teacher in the archaeology department. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in early summer, and outside, the birds were singing and the crickets chirping. The living room in which the three children were in, was filled with mellow, late afternoon sunlight. Everything had a golden glow, and there was a sense of security and love in the air that made Tomoyo sigh happily, despite having a gash that was from her kneecap to the middle of her tiny shin. With a final pat on the bandaid that he had put on, Touya gave a pat on Sakura's back and shooed her off to set up a tea party for Tomoyo. "Go on now, kaiju. Don't' hurt yourself even more or Dad'll have my neck." he drawled.

"I'm not a kaiju!" Piped Sakura as she rubbed her eyes on her sleeve, removing final traces of her childish crying. She kissed Touya on the cheek quickly, and then ran off to scamper up the stairs, humming happily. All was well as it should have been. All her life.

Tomoyo observed Touya carefully as he cleaned and bandaged her wounds just as tendely as he had Sakura's. However, he didn't lecture and tease her, like he did to Sakura. He didn't even speak to her, but continued silently during his work. It wasn't that Touya didn't like Tomoyo, it was just that there was really nothing one could say to the other. Tomoyo was Touya's little sister's best friend. That was it. Once in a while, he would ask her if the alcohol stung, but he would concentrate on the task at hand, and Tomoyo was left to do what she pleased. So, she studied him, studied the sharp chin, the somewhat long, but handsome nose, the concentrated dark eyebrows. Her 5 year old self then focused on Touya's ears, which was the farthest part of him in her vision. How alike they are to Sakura's ears, Tomoyo thought, and thought about how she whispered into ears just like those, pouring out her soul, her little secrets, and her jokes. Abruptly, she spoke, startling both herself and Touya.

"When I grow up, I'm going to marry you Touya-san." She spoke in a confident, but not brutal manner, like a 5 year old, but seemingly older.

Touya's bangs fell into his eyes because he had lifted his head to look up at her so suddenly. Still, he could see the chubby cheeks, the cherubic mauve hair and sapphire eyes as they bore into his own with a childish stubbornness. He chuckled.

"Okay then, Tomoyo, when you grow up, you will marry me." He said lightly, though not teasingly. He also gave her shin a final pat and said, "Sakura's waiting for you in the kitchen. Have fun."

Tomoyo jumped from her seat on the couch and gave Touya a kiss on the cheek, the cheek that wasn't kissed by Sakura. "Arigatou, Touya-kun." She chirped, and skipped, though less happily and more serene than her best friend. Touya watched her enter the kitchen before chuckling at an inner joke. Well, I just got kissed by two of the most beautiful girls in Tomoeda. Won't my friends be jealous, he thought sarcastically before going into his room to play video games.

*end flashback*

The kiss ended and Tomoyo was brought back to the present, to reality. Her eyes slowly fluttered open, and looked into ebon depth of the man standing before her, the man that promised to marry her... 24 years ago. Was it really that long? Tomoyo thought woozily as she swayed a little. She felt Touya's arms tighten around her, and almost instinctively, she rested her head on his shoulder and felt him bury his face in her hair.

"Your hair smells pretty Tomoyo-chan." Touya murmured softly. That clicked something inside Tomoyo's mind, and she abruptly pulled away. Her eyes met his again and stared, confusion, pain, and turmoil bubbling to the surface. Sakura had told her once that her hair smelled nice, and Tomoyo had been thrilled when Sakura got the same scented shampoo as she did. It was supposed to smell like apple, but on Tomoyo, it always smelled like apples mixed with the fresh scent of pure spring water. And the memory of Sakura once again brought Tomoyo a fresh bout of pain and... regret?

Tomoyo reached up to brush some hair out of Touya's face as she struggled with herself. Is she really beginning to fall for Touya for him or does she love Touya because he so resembles Sakura? Or does she feel this way about him because she could be the anchor in her life that she's never had before? Tomoyo squeezed her eyes tightly as she held back tears. No, she couldn't use Touya like that. Touya's already been used, and she has been used and has used someone herself. She knew that Touya's relationship with Yukito paralleled Syaoran and hers, but while Touya is now confession his love at his most vulnerable, she, with her confused feelings and uncertain emotional status, was not. She could not hurt sweet, gentle Touya like that... but... as she opened her eyes to look at Touya again, her heart swelled, just as it had when she was 5 and he was taking care of her. Is this love?

She forced herself to bring a memory of Sakura again... and to her surprise, even though she still felt the same twinge of pain and sorrow along with a longing for Sakura since she had in childhood, she somehow knew that while there might have been love in her feelings for Sakura, it was more obsession than love. Have I been lying to myself all these years? she thought, and then her thoughts drifted to Syaoran. To her surprise again, she felt feelings for Syaoran more than that of a friend and a soulmate. She felt love for Syaoran, but it was fading fast and being replaced by Touya. So all these years, I've been lying to myself, she thought grimly, and then hugged Touya tight, burying her face into his chest. How do I know that what I'm feeling for Touya is not another lie to myself?

Touya hugged Tomoyo, his angel, his savior. While Tomoyo had struggled with her inner self, Touya watched, waited, and felt his stomach sink further and further. Stupid, he berated himself over and over again. How could he have told her his feelings so bluntly for her, and in such a cheesy way too? This is not a good time to fall in love, to admit love, to start a relationship, with his betrayal to his sister, but somehow, he told her, and she had responded. He had gotten lost in the feel of her soft lips pressed against his, her body safely wrapped in his arms. He lost himself in the feeling so much that it was at the last moment of the kiss before he realized that she was kissing him back. She had been kissing him back all along.

And now, she was hugging him, holding him like she was holding on to dear life. But a little twinge of fear nudged at the back of his mind. Is Tomoyo really responding to his love, or is Tomoyo using him as a crutch? Touya pushed that thought aside. Tomoyo wouldn't use him like that. This was sweet Tomoyo, his sister's best friend, the most loyal fanclub member of the children of Fujitaka Kinomoto. Touya immediately berated himself again for making Tomoyo sound like a little slave to him and his sister. She was far better than he or Sakura. She was beautiful, smart, successful, and has the gentlest disposition that he had ever met. He didn't deserve her, no one deserved her. She was fallen angel, pushed out of heaven unjustly and had fallen into his arms. She was a windfall. However, he still heard that little voice.

Tomoyo drew her face out of Touya's shirt, now slightly wet with her tears. She looked up at him again, and even though her eyes were a little swollen and her a bit blotchy, she still looked beautiful to Touya. Understanding eyes on a gentle face made Tomoyo's heart blanch as she once again hated her marred emotions, so unclear, so indistinct. She opened her mouth, but before the words came out, she felt Touya's mouth on hers once again.

Touya kissed her because he didn't want to hear what she was about to say, didn't want to hear the rejection from the pure voice that he loved to hear at school concerts. He didn't know if what Tomoyo was going to say would taint her to him. He wanted to keep the image of her as he had now, unpolluted, not tampered with rejection, resentment, and betrayal. He slowly lifted his mouth from hers and replaced it with a finger to her lips, silencing her. He drew back on a line that he had not used since his college days.

"It's okay, Tomoyo. You don't have to say anything now. I know you need time to think." And he kissed her again, one last time, the last time that he would ever be allowed to feel those lips, swollen slightly by his kisses, again. Or so he thought. And Tomoyo kissed him back, and felt reassured by him, reassured by the fact that he understood that she had to think, had to discover what was the feeling that she feels for him now, what is it that's stirring in her heart, finally coming out of its slumber. And it was love.

A/N: OKAY! This isn't a cliff hanger, is it guys? I'm pretty sure it's not, and I know it was a bit cheesy, but as an avid reader of WAFF (warm and fuzzy feeling) I know the needs of some of my female readers, therefore, I'm going to satisfy them! So... yes I promised that I would make Sakura make a drastic decision in this chapter, but I'm going to hold it off for three reasons:

1. I'm evil.

2. I'm paying too much for Sakura to show up in every chapter, so I decided to boot her off this one to save my pocket money. Besides, she deserved a break.

3. There are too many Sakura-centered stories out there, and I should have written one just about Tomoyo or Meiling because they deserve a chance in the spotlight, but for now, Sakura fits my story plotline so I'm going to have to stick with it. However, Tomoyo's relationship in this one comes first because I have favorites, and Meiling will get a story of her one that will coincide with this story, but I have to get to a certain point with this one before I can work on the other one.

So... tell me what you think! Come on guys, I have 17 little reviews... and although they are so beautiful and I could worship them all day, I thirst for more. I don't mind flames! The story is not very much edited, the grammar and spelling will gag a bit of people, and it's very soap-operaish, but I promise it'll get better! And the coupling might get flamed..., but then again, I am also in the PTM war in DBZ, so *shrugs* I'll deal.

Next Chapter: Sakura makes a drastic decision, and Yukito gets a present from Eriol. And then... we have a little S+S WAFF! After all, there comes a point in every story where the main characters get to know each other and experiment ^-^.