Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Heart's Treasures ❯ Love and Guilt ( Chapter 8 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Heart's Treasures: Part 8
By: Starlight Rose
Email: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com

A.N. I proudly present to you chapter 8! Less than a week to do this and I even got that 4th chapter of Cards and Wands done. I'm so proud of myself, but do you see how motivated all your reviews made me to write when I actually have time. To be honest this chapter only took me two days to write. This is a chapter for the E+T fans. No S+S in this one I'm afraid because this one focuses on the events in Flora to tell you what's going on over there, but I promise to get back to Fauna and what's happening with Sakura and Syaoran in the next chapter. If I stay this motivated*HINT HINT REVIEW* then I might have another chapter out by next week. And if you can't tell, this will be a VERY long story. You can compare it to the original fairytale and see just where in that fairytale I currently am at.

Disclaimer: The original tale of Thousand Furs belongs to the Brother's Grimm (well sort of, but I'm not getting into the messy business of explaining the history of fairytales). CCS and its characters belong to Clamp. This story belongs to me however, so DON"T STEAL! I worked really hard on this and I will be pissed if anyone stole my idea or my story.

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Eriol sighed. It had been a month since he had last visited Flora and it was time he went back there again. The site of Flora no longer sent pangs of guilt to his heart since the palace was now fully restored and as lovely as it was before the razing it had recieved from the Draconian soldiers. Unfortunately though the site of the place itself did not send pangs of guilt stabbing at him, the atmosphere still did. The once happy kingdom had not been the same since the disappearance of their princess nearly three months ago. His every trip to the kingdom reminded him of his failure to find the enchantingly sweet princess.

His trip to Flora was to him both something he rejoiced at and something he dreaded. Visiting Flora meant he would be able to visit with the Lady Tomoyo Daidouji, but it also meant telling her and everyone else in Flora that he still hadn't found Sakura yet. As much as he hated seeing the disappointment in everyone else's eyes, it was the sadness in the court lady's eyes that hurt him the most. He honestly could not bear to see the mournful and guilty expression in Lady Tomoyo's eyes every time he visited and told her there was still no trace of Sakura. He was beginning to give up hope that Sakura would ever reappear and he could tell so was everyone else, especially Lady Tomoyo. She never told him but he knew that the lady had loved the young princess more than she had loved anything else and it hurt him to have to hurt her like that everytime he visited.

But no matter how much it hurt him, he still looked forward to seeing her because at this point he would be just plain out lying to himself if he didn't admit, he was in love with her. Yes, Prince Eriol Hiiragizawa, was in love with Lady Tomoyo Daidouji, his fiancee's best friend. It was just pure irony. Before the last three months had happened Eriol hadn't loved anybody so he was content with marrying Princess Sakura. Afterall, she was an extremely intelligent, sweet, and caring young lady that any man would have loved to call his own, and Eriol was friends with her so if their wasn't love in the match there was at least fondness for one another. But all that changed three months ago on the night of Sakura's sixteenth birthday. Eriol had always noticed the Lady Tomoyo before. It was hard not to notice her considering how beautiful she was and considering he was quite good friends with Sakura and so was Lady Tomoyo so he was consequently friends with her too. But he had never spent a large amount of time with the lady, he hadn't really gotten to know her. Until Sakura's birthday when she disappeared and Eriol took it upon himself to search for her. Of course because of it he often had to come back to Flora to search for any hints to her whereabouts or to report to the Florian King his progress, as non-existant as it was. That was when he started to happen. Eriol started to find himself more and more attracted to Lady Tomoyo as he began spending more and more time with her. She understood him perfectly and she knew him better than anyone had ever known him before and Eriol found himself liking the notion of someone knowing him better than he knew himself, because God only knew how much he tried to prevent that from happening. He was friendly and polite outwardly but in truth Eriol had errected a shell around himself, a shell of duty and responsibility. Lady Tomoyo pierced through that shell without even trying and Eriol loved her for that because he discovered that was what he needed.

And there his problem lay. Eriol was engaged to Sakura who was currently missing and for him to be in love with Lady Tomoyo was definitely not making things easy on him. His conscience nagged at him everytime he came back from a fruitless search, accusing him of not trying hard enough. And Eriol could not argue otherwise because in truth although he was worried about Sakura's welfare, he wasn't sure he wanted her to return. For Sakura to return would mean that he would have to marry her and now that he found someone he actually loved, Eriol wasn't sure he could marry her. The Magickian Prince was not in an enviable position. Guilt racked him contantly but he could not but off his joy at seeing and spending time with Lady Tomoyo. Eriol feverantly prayed that by some miracle Sakura could be found, but he would still be saved from marrying her because he was beginning to think that Lady Tomoyo might have also been developing feeling for him other than friendship. But as well as she knew him, he knew her. He knew that she felt the guilt and remorse he felt if not more so because she loved Sakura and for her to love him would mean to her that she was betraying Sakura.

Eriol finally saw the palace gates looming over him and breathed a sigh of relief. He was tired and could use a nap in the comfortable quarters that hyad now officially been declared his since he visited the Florian palace so often. Unfortunately his nap had to wait until after he had had an audience with King Fujitaka, so after handing his horse over to the stablehands he walked off to the throne room in search of the King who was expecting him.

Fujitaka was in the throne room talking with his advisors when Eriol entered. He looked up at Eriol's entrance and smiled warmly at the Magickian Prince. Eriol smiled back at him and as he did so, he noticed the tired look in Fujitaka's eyes and also noticed the once young looking king seemed to have aged ten years in the short span of three months. Eriol knew exactly why the king seemed to have aged so much though. He knew losing Sakura had been a difficult blow for the King to take, but bore it with fortitude for the sake of his subjects and Touya.

"Prince Eriol, it is good to see you again. I gather you will be staying here with us for the Summer Sotstice celebrations." Fujitaka greeted Eriol with after he had dismissed his counselors.

Eriol started a bit before he realized that the Summer Solstice was the next day and he had arrived just in time for it. He sweatdropped a bit when he realized he didn't have any formal clothes for the occassion, but knew that to stay in Flora- as he had planned on doing- it would have been rude of him to decline the invitation to the celebrations especially the large ball. So smiling apologetically at the King Eriol replied, "I'm afraid the Summer Solstice slipped my mind, Your Highness, so hence I have nothing appropriate for the occassion."

The King waved away the concern and said kindly, "Yes, I had assumed to might be a bit too busy and preoccupied to remember so I've already arranged for Lady Tomoyo to arrange for appropriate garments for you."

"If that is the case, then I would be happy to join you in your festivities." Eriol replied bowing. Truth be told, he really didn't feel too much in the mood for festivities, but to refuse would have been inexcusably rude.

"I;m glad to hear that." Fujitaka said before his countanence turned serious. "How has the search been going?"

Eriol winced at the mention of the search but he knew that that was the sole reason he should have been visiting Flora the past few months so with a sad shake of his head he said, "We have found no traces of her yet. She is to my knowledge not in Magicka, Draconia, Noctrus, or Fauna. I assume that she is not still here in Flora either, but there is no place else to look for her except for Solaria which seems a trifle far away, but I have still dispatched some of my men to go search for her there."

Fujitaka nodded his head sadly having already expected the news. Looking wistfully at the young prince he carefully weighed his next words. "Prince Eriol, you are like son to me and I thank-you sincerely for all the assistance you have given this kingdom, especially in searching for Sakura. Though if at this point we still have not found Sakura, I dispair at our ever finding her. Therefore, I shall not hold you to your engagement with her so that you may persue another match."

Eriol looked at the King in shock knowing full well what the King was implying and while being grateful that the King had considered his feelings so, Eriol's guilt still racked him and he remained determined to find Sakura or at least find out what happened to her. Setting a look of grim determination on his face Eriol replied, "I beg Your Highness to give me a year to find Princess Sakura or at least find out what happened to her. If at this point we still haven't found that anything bad has happened to her then she may still be safe and hiding somewhere. I could never live with myself if I gave up on the search too soon and for me to break my engagement with the Princess will be like my admitting defeat."

Looking shrewdly at Eriol Fujitaka asked him solemnly, "Are you quite sure? I am not blind to your attachment of Tomoyo, who is like a second daughter to me, and I suspect the attachment is mutual. If you break the engagement it does not need mean that we have given up hope of ever finding Sakura, but you can still persue the match with Tomoyo."

Eriol shook his head sadly, "I am quite sure. If I break the engagement now, it will seem as if we've given up hope and I can't do that, or at least not yet. And I am fairly certain I speak for both myself and the Lady Tomoyo when I say that we would both feel like we were betraying Princess Sakura if I broke the engagement and persued Lady Tomoyo with only three months having passed since her disappearance."

"Very well then. I shall see you tonight for dinner and then tomorrow at the ball. I have a very important announcement I need to make tomorrow and I would like you to be there to hear it as well so I am glad to hear you will be attending." Fujitaka said effectively dismissing the Prince.

Eriol bowed to the King and left heading towards his quarters for a nap though he did not feel much like napping anymore. His mind was at that time too preoccupied with some disturbing thoughts.

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Tomoyo sighed as she sat down on her bed. Tonight was the night of the Summer Solstice Ball and Tomoyo was tired of it all. She had spent all day trying to act cheerful and happy as everyone celebrated the occassion but in reality she had just wanted to lock herself in her rooms and cry. She finally was able to escape to her rooms with the excuse of preparing for the ball. She knew that those closets to her didn't believe her one bit, but they respected her enough to leave her alone at the very least.

She closed her eyes as she felt tears prickling at her eyes. This year was the first year ever that Tomoyo had not celebrated the Summer Solstice without Sakura by her side. She missed her best friend greatly. The dress she had given Sakura less than three months ago was designed specifically for the Summer Solstice celebrations and Tomoyo had looked forward to Sakura wearing it looking more lovely than anything. It hurt her that she wouldn't be able to see Sakura in it dancing with Touya, Yukito, Fujitaka, and now Eriol.

Eriol. The Magickian Prince's name brought a sad smile to her lips. Eriol had talked to her yesterday evening about his audience with the King and Tomoyo was as disturbed about it as he was. She knew the King didn't want to give up on the search for Sakura anymore than Eriol or she did, but she wondered why the King chose to offer to cancel the engagement. She hoped it wasn't because of her. A wave of guilt immersed her thinking about because the King she knew was a perceptive man. She could guess that he had started to notice her attachment to the Prince.

How could she not become attached to him? He was wonderful. Before Sakura's disappearance, Tomoyo had barely known the young man, but after she started spending more time with him in order to help in the search for her best friend. And it was then that Tomoyo discovered to her horror, that she could love him. She could love the intended of her best friend. And now, she couldn't deny that she was already beginning to love him. He was everything she ever wanted, kind, intelligent, handsome, and charming. And he understood her. He understood her so well that he could read her every emotion, and he did. Everytime that Tomoyo had felt depressed over Sakura's disappearance, he comforted her and cajoled her until she could smile again.

And this made Tomoyo feel guiltier than she had ever felt before. She had stopped blaming herself for her role in Sakura's disappearance, because it was futile as Eriol blaming himself, or Touya blaming himself. But she could stop feeling remorse over the lose of her best friend, and despite the remorse she had managed to fall in love with Sakura's fiance. To her it it felt like betrayal. Tomoyo felt like she was betraying Sakura in every way imaginable because a small part of her almost wished that Sakura would not be found, or at least not yet. She hated that small part of her. She hated her selfishness, because it was selfishness that caused that part of her to even exist. It was her desire to be with Prince Eriol and if Sakura was found she would surely marry the Prince. There was no avoiding it. And Tomoyo wasn't sure if she was strong enough to watch those two together. Tomoyo once loved Sakura but now the love she had for Sakura had transfered over Eriol. Her love for Sakura now was that of a sister or a close friend. and watching your sister married to the one you loved most was the most painful torture tOmoyo could think of.

Not like she disagreed with Eriol in his decision to wait a year before canceling the engagement. She agreed with him. Even if Eriol cared for her and she suspected he did, they would both at this point feel too guilty to be happy together, because their happiness would come at the cost of Sakura's happiness and that neither one of them to tolerate. Eriol hadn't told her why the King offered, but Tomoyo could guess it was because of her. So now Tomoyo was just left with the guilt of hoping her friend was safe but wouldn't be found until a year had passed. Though if Sakura did return sooner, Tomoyo knew that no matter the sacrifice she would have had to make, she would be the one that rejoiced the most at finding her best friend. If that happened Tomoyo was resigned to just smile and be happy for her friend and her love's sake while hiding all her pain behind the smile.

A soft knock sounded on Tomoyo's door causing her to break out of her thoughts. Opening the door she found her lady's maid, Naoko, standing in front of her. Bowing politely to the dark-haired lasy, Naoko smiled and said, "I'm here to help you prepare."

Tomoyo nodded and let the girl in and when two hours later Eriol knocked on her door Tomoyo was ready and waiting for him. Eriol had offered to escort Tomoyo to the ball yesterday night at the dinner after he had thanked her for arranging for an outfit for him to wear to the masqurade ball. When Tomoyo opened the door and saw him she nearly realled in shock. He was more handsome than she had ever seen him. The outfit she chose for him was the Ice King. The frost blue shimmery satin lined with silver accented his dark eyes and the bit of silver that streaked his black hair made him look distinguished. The outfit looked wonderful on him and Tomoyo found herself blushing as he smiled at her and offered her his arm.

Eriol gazed admiringly at the lady before him. She looked beautiful in her Snow Queen costume of pure white and silver. The white almost blended with her creamy skin making the stark contrast of her bright violet eyes and black hair even more startling and alluring. It was the first time he had seen her in full formal dress and he liked how elegant she looked in it. She carried herself like the Queen that she was dressed as and that he knew she was in heart. He smiled and felt his heart leap when she gently took his arm and allowed him to lead her to the ball extremely happy for their matching costume as it allowed him a good excuse to monopolize her company.

The rest of the evening went wonderfully for the two. They enjoyed each other's company immensely and for that one night allowed themselves to forget about the fact that Eriol was engaged to Sakura who was currently missing. And they both found it extremely advantagous to be in each other's company as well since for Tomoyo it meant not having to dance with some of the boring noblemen her mother would have liked her to marry and for Eriol it meant not having to dance attendance to empty-headed ladies that were mostly interested in his throne since the news of his engagement to Sakura was not entirely public knowledge. Enough people knew about it, but it was never officially announced, however the documents had already been drawn up so it was official.

As the evening began to draw to a close and the magic of the ball wore off, they each smiled bittersweet smiles knowing full well what they were returning to the next day. For Eriol it was continueing searching for Sakura and for Tomoyo it was to continue worrying about the girl, for despite the feelings they shared for each other, they also loved Sakura and put her safety and welfare first. The bell to end the ball and for the unmasking finally rang and Eriol and Tomoyo gave each other one final sad smile before removing the other's mask. Not like they needed to since Eriol had escorted her there and Tomoyo had picked out his costume so they both knew who the other were but it was nice to pretend for even an evening that they were strangers just meeting that could fall in love.

Fujitaka stood up and smiled at his guests and it occured to Eriol that the King's smile was rather sad and he then remembered how Fujitaka said he had something important to announce. Eriol wondered what the announcement was but knew that he need not wonder long because the King seemeed about ready to speak.

"I am glad all of you could make it to this joyous occassion of the Summer Solstice to help me celebrate it." Fujitaka said addressing the assembly. "Tonight has been absolutely wonderful and I must thank everyone that helped in the preparations. It has been a memorable night and I am happy for that because I would not want to make my announcement on any less of a wonderful night." The King paused as people around the room began murmuring. When the noise had died down Fujitaka continued, "I am happy to announce that I will be abdicating the throne in favor of my son, Touya, by this time next month. I feel that it is about time that he had a chance to rule and as happy as I was being King of this wonderful Kingdom, I feel I am now to old to do the job properly."

Eriol stared at the King in shock as well as the rest of the room. Never had he imagined that the King's announcement would be along these lines. He looked to the front of the room and saw Prince Touya about to object to his father's announcement when a look from the King silenced the Prince causing him to just look wooriedly at his father. Fujitaka stood quitely up there allowing the startling news to sink in before he invited all the guest to retire to the banquet. Eriol and Tomoyo remained in the room and strode purposefully to the throne wanting to speak to the King.

They got there just as everyone else had left and Touya began protesting to his father, "You cannot abdicate the throne! You are still young and I do not think I am ready for this yet!"

"Touya, you are more than ready. You have been taking care of most of this kingdom's affairs for the last year and it is about time that you inherit this throne. I am tired of ruling. Right now I want nothing more than to be allowed to spend my time in peace and quite or to look for your sister." Fuhitaka told the Prince with a tired sigh. Then turing to Eriol he told him, "I appreciate your help in finding Sakura, but I would now like to join the search for her."

Eriol just nodded dumbly as Touya continued fuming and then asked Fujitaka quitely, "Why so sudden though? Couldn't you have given me some prior warning about this?"

Fujitaka smile wryly at that and told his son, "I could have, but you would have just objected like you are doing now and refused to take the throne. By catching you by surprise and announcing it publicly, you have no option but to accept."

Touya glared at his father for anticipating him so well. If Fujtaka had talked to him first then Touya would have refused and then fund some way out of it, but by announcing it like he did, he made it official before Touya had a say in things and before he could refuse he had to accept. Finally shaking his head sadly he asked his father, "Ae you sure? Are you sure i'm ready?"

Smiling at his son's acceptance Fujitaka nodded and said, "I'm sure. You will make a wonderful king and I trust you to take care of this kingdom. If you need help ruling you will have me here to help still and is this not better to let you rle while I am still alive to offer you guidance rather than leaving the responsiblity upon your shoulders unexpectedly upon my death when you have no one to guide you?"

Touya scowled but saw the logic in it and conceeded defeat. "Very well. I will take the throne, so that you can find Sakura. I know how much you miss her. I miss her too."

"We all miss Sakura." Yukito who stayed by Touya's side the entire time said quietly. Eriol and Tomoyo could only nod.

Finally Fujitaka broke the silence that had ensued after Yukito's statement by saying, "Thank-you, all of you for your support and help the past three months. I would like to make one final request of all of you as King. Please help Touya take care of this kingdom and I am sure that will will find Sakura. None of us should ever give up hope."

"Always, Your Highness. Always." Yukito stated quietly and Tomoyo and Eriol echoed him.

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