Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Heaven's Gates ❯ Secrets Told ( Chapter 1 )

"What in the world are you thinking?!"

"Precisely," Tomoyo murmured. "Precisely, exactly that."

This comment was ignored. It was early Sunday afternoon. She was sitting in the wooden rocker on her porch, watching, idly amused, as Sakura paced worriedly in front of her.

"Calm down, dear heart," Tomoyo began, but Sakura whirled around, eyes blazing emerald flames.

"Calm down? Calm down? After you went and made these crazy plans without consulting Syaoran and me-"

Tomoyo's amusement vanished in a heartbeat; her voice and eyes went as cold as Sakura's were hot. Sakura, unused to such hostility directed toward her from anyone, especially her best friend, turned away. "Careful where you step in that regard, dearest," Tomoyo said coolly. "You and Syaoran-kun don't run my life."

"But we're a big part of it!" Sakura retorted, furiously spinning around to glare at her. "And something this reckless? Planning, packing, and giving us three days' notice, with barely a `by-the-way'? I'd expect something like this out of Onii-chan, maybe-maybe-but you? Tomoyo-chan-" Exhaling loudly in a sigh that could have blown away a building, she sat down beside her friend on the rocker. She tried a reasonable tone, quietly pleading.

"Tomoyo-chan, Syaoran and I are very concerned. Otou-san's concerned. Onii-chan and Yukito-san are concerned. Kero-chan is nearly out of his mind wondering if you've been possessed by some strange magic, and Yue-san is almost agreeing that something's wrong-"

"Kero-chan and Yue-san? You've consulted them?" Surprise and exasperation layered Tomoyo's voice. Sakura shrugged.

"Kero-chan, anyway. Yukito-san says Yue-san `expressed a mild interest in your departure, and felt that perhaps its abrupt nature merited closer inspection.'" She smiled weakly. "And that was saying a lot, for Yue-san." She leaned closer to Tomoyo. "I have to ask, Tomoyo-chan, if you have any idea what you're doing."

Tomoyo studied her best friend for a moment. In the fourteen years that had passed since Kinomoto Sakura had been named Cardcaptor, Mistress of the Clow, and finally her current position as Mistress of the Sakura Cards, she'd grown quite well into her status as "magical girl." She was tall, willowy, beautiful-even more beautiful than her mother had been, claimed Daidouji Sonomi and Kinomoto Fujitaka-and had gained a shrewd, clever, quick-witted intelligence that did nothing to detract from her innate innocence. She was Tomoeda's pride and joy-not to mention the entire universe to one Li Syaoran; they were practically engaged, though they seemed happily oblivious to that fact even now. At age twenty-three, they were perfectly content to wait for at least a little while longer for each other.

This was certainly not the case at the moment; right now, this Cardmistress wanted an answer.

Tomoyo considered, then beamed. "Not a clue," she admitted cheerfully.

On a frustrated half-sigh, half-growl (Syaoran-kun's influence, Tomoyo mused), Sakura rolled her eyes. "Then what in the world are you-" She seemed to finally realize what she was saying; she stopped, then glowered, her eyes daring Tomoyo to answer.

Her own eyes full of laughter, Tomoyo wisely opted to remain silent. `The world,' she knew, was precisely, exactly the point.

Four days ago, she'd opened a long-dormant (and quite amassed) savings account, pre-booked a couple of plane tickets, packed her bags, and announced her plans to her friends and family the next day: she was taking a very, very long vacation on a trip around the world.

She hadn't explained why she was leaving, because she didn't understand yet.

She hadn't explained when she'd be home, since she didn't know.

She hadn't explained where she was going, for she wasn't sure.

She only knew she was going, and she was counting down the days. And when her friends had tried to talk her out of it, she hadn't backed down, and didn't plan to. When her mother had tried to reason with her, Tomoyo had leveled her one look, and Daidouji Sonomi had been the one to back down.

Which led to Sakura's visit. Tomoyo knew her best friend was trying her hardest to change Tomoyo's mind, and that the consistent failure was frustrating Sakura to no end. Doubling that frustration was the fact that Tomoyo was leaving tomorrow, and no one even knew why.

Except Sonomi. She alone was the only other person who knew why-the terrible secret that was precipitating Tomoyo's escape. For escape it was-escape from the glaring, shattering, horrible, horrible truth Sonomi had told Tomoyo just four days ago.

* * *

She sat, frozen in the red-velvet armchair, staring at her mother, who was weeping quietly into her hands. Gone were Daidouji Sonomi's cool, concentrated aloofness, her smooth, polished veneer. In her place was this shaking, sobbing…stranger.

Tomoyo reflected dully on all the warning signs she should have noticed-where had her amazing observatory skills been then? Why hadn't she seen-the absence of a father all her life…Sonomi's constant protectiveness of her daughter…the bodyguards everywhere she went…Tomoyo closed her eyes briefly. It makes…a twisted sort of sense…

And now, faced with this…chilling truth, Tomoyo opened her eyes and looked at her mother-and sighed.

She stood, crossed to Sonomi, who was whispering, "I'm sorry, darling, I'm so sorry," over and over. Tomoyo bent over and pressed her lips to Sonomi's hair. "I love you," she said gently, and added firmly, "Okaa-san."

Sonomi only nodded, sniffling, and Tomoyo repressed the urge to sigh again. She was tired…so tired…

She straightened walked to the front door, pausing only to repeat, "I love you, Okaa-san. Goodnight." She left.

Neither of them would admit yet-though both knew-that Tomoyo's `goodnight' really meant `goodbye.'

* * *

And now, four days later, she was so very ready to escape. Even though she knew it was deeply confusing and hurting her precious Sakura.

But maybe…maybe if I-if I could just…

"Sakura-chan," she said suddenly, stopping Sakura in the middle of a rant.

"Hoe?" The green eyes blinked, losing some of their fire. Some.

"I-" Tomoyo let out a carefully controlled breath. "I love you."

Those enchanting eyes blinked again. "Hoe…? Well, I love you too, and that's why I really think it's a bad idea…"

As Sakura went off again, Tomoyo closed her eyes wearily. She'd tried; but in her heart she knew her darling, her beautiful, her wonderful, her beloved Sakura would never understand the sincere devotion in those three simple words.

She opened her eyes to see tears in Sakura's. "Oh-oh, darling, don't!" Hastily she reached out to wipe the tears away, fighting back panic. If Sakura asked her to stay now-with tears in her eyes instead of flames-Tomoyo knew she'd give in. Knew she'd never be able to resist, to deny her friend's request.

"Tomoyo-chan…" murmured Sakura pleadingly, and Tomoyo squeezed her eyes shut, cursing herself for a fool.

"Go."

She opened them again. "What?" Sakura was gazing at her, anxiety and exhaustion in her face.

"Go wherever it is you need to go. Far away. Somewhere you can find your own happiness, because you can't keep living off other people's." Sakura stood and turned away. "So create your own-I want that for you. Goodbye." She walked down the porch steps without a backward glance.

Tomoyo reached out beseechingly, then let her hand fall to her lap. At this moment, for the first time in her life, her Sakura stood feet away…and was miles beyond her reach.

"Goodbye, dear one," she whispered as her world walked away.