Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Lake of Dreams ❯ Thoughts of the Aftermath ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N: Konnichiwa minna! I'm back with the new chapter to Lake of Dreams and I just wanna say a word of thanks to those who reviewed and took their time to read my fic!! =)

I just wanna let you all know that the idea to this story as I said in the beginning was taken from a short story by a romance author named Linda Howard. But it is not an exact copy to her wonderful story. If it was then my writing would be much better....-_-' Heck the whole plot of this fic was made by me personally but it does have a resemblance to hers. But I repeat it is NOT an exact copy! *_*

As u can tell...I changed my pename...*sweatdrops* So now I am known as 'Eternal Serenity' Jus thought it'd be nice to do a lil change...=)

KEY:

"......" (speaking)

'.......' (thoughts)

*********** (change of scenery or point of views)

A/N: (author's note)

*FLASHBACK*

Words in italics (description or thoughts)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Card Captor Sakura or the idea to this fic in general. Card Captor Sakura belongs to Clamp.

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Lake of Dreams

By:Eternal Serenity

Chapter 13: Thoughts of the Aftermath

Everything had never been the same since yesterday. Ever since I found out the truth about the dreams and everything else, I felt myself being somebody else, someone so strangely familiar yet so different. But my fear of being near the water and of my realization about Syaoran frightened me. Although I know that my emotions towards him would never ever change, I still couldn't shake the feeling. Also to add to the fact that I have been feeling this really strange feeling that something bad will happen soon didn't help the situation one little bit.

Syaoran for his part didn't seem to be acting normal towards me. But that's understandable. Although I've been trying really hard to not make things any different, it hurts me. I know that he has his own reasons but these sudden realizations of our past lives, makes me feel closer to him even more than before.

I would find myself sometimes being hypnotized by something so strong and most of the time I get these sudden flashbacks of me being someone else with a different identity. But ever since the incident that had happened yesterday I felt as if somebody else took over my body and soul and it frightened me. Memories of past lives with Syaoran was really hard to understand but each time I get these sudden memory flashbacks it brought me to a realization that it does exist. Fate's twisting hands was probably the best way to describe it.

But there was still some things I didn't understand. I mean if me and Syaoran truly did love each other in our past lives why did one of us ended up dying? I felt myself shudder uncontrallably at the thought.

And everything always boils down to that horrible incident.That incident of me drowning...

I wiped away the sudden tears that fell from my eyes as I stared into space.

Why did Syaoran have to kill me and worse of all our child? That was the worst part of it all. That was our child for goodness sakes. Our child that we conceived out of our love for one another.The baby that didn't have any chance to live.

I held my belly protectively as if another life existed in it. I continued to wipe more of the tears that fell from my eyes.

'I still can't believe any of this...' I thought with a heavy sigh.

I looked up and stared at the blue skies as I sat there on the front porch still trying to sort out my thoughts about everything.

But then suddenly I felt his aura close to me...

I stood up slowly from where I was sitting. Suddenly I felt my heart break from feeling so close to him like this yet...it hurts at the same time. It hurts me terribly to think that everytime I try to be close to him he steers himself away from me.

But that wasn't how it was supposed to be. Even though the obvious realization was because of his fear for my own safety, it wasn;t supposed to be like this.

In all our lifetimes together, I have always known Syaoran as a stubborn yet gentle being. Someone who you could trust with all your heart and somebody who has a sense of pride for everything he did.

And I was always the only woman in his life that he ever loved. I knew that for a fact.

Then all of a sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder. I felt myself shudder from the impact as my heart rate increased. I suddenly felt all the familiar sensations within my soul that I couldn't control myself any longer.

It always has been like this...everytime I felt this close to him I would find myself flustered with anticipation and passion...and he was the only man I know that had ever made me feel this way.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, but I could also sense his response to the way I was acting.

I felt his hand quiver in nervousness. I turned around slowlyto face him, but as soon as I got a glimpse of his face I felt my eyes water.

He stared at me obviously confused, but he didn't bother asking me the reason. As if he knew, he took me in his arms and comforted me.

I buried my tear streak face on his shoulder as he rubbed my back to as a way to ease my tension.

"Sakura...." He murmured huskily against my ear.

I held onto his shirt tightly in response. What was wrong with me? Why did the mere sight of his face brought me to tears?

But as I felt myself in his arms I suddenly realized why.

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I held her tightly in my arms feeling my heart break from seeing her cry. Although I had no idea what the reason was I didn't need to pressure her. There was no need. All that mattered to me was to make sure that she was all right.

I rubbed her back to comfort her, something that felt so awfully familiar to me. It was as if my hands had a mind of their own.

She held onto my shirt tightly in response as I lightly kissed her temple loving the fresh scent of her auburn hair.

I tightened my arms around her. I just couldn't help myself. All the emotions I buried inside of me came rushing back as I held her. All the emotions I tried to ignore came rushing back so strongly that I thought I would falter without feeling her in my arms just for a second.

True, I did try my best to ignore her after all the things that had happened between us. But kami-sama it was probably the hardest thing I had to do. The most painful torment I could ever receive.

But I held a love for her with such a strong impact that I couldn't bear to hurt her once more. All those lifetimes of feeling the dread and misery I felt without her in my life and the guilt that overtook my conscience was enough to drive a man to intense insanity. I would gladly give away my happiness and my life just for her sake. I knew that for a fact.

All the memories that had been haunting me in the past since I was a little boy came strongly every now and then. Ever since I had finally figured out the true meaning of our connection I knew that I had to stay away from her as soon as possible. But somehow I had a feeling deep inside that this was not how it was supposed to be.

But I followed my instincts and finally decided that it was for the best for the both of us. I made a vow to myself that I would keep it that way but I couldn't leave Sakura. It was an option...but god it tore me apart to even think of such a horrible thing. Although I knew that it was the best solution, I couldn't bring myself to leave her. Ever.

After finding her all this time and all the memories was enough to convince me to stay. And the growing love I felt for her was another factor.

But as I held her in my arms all those thoughts didn't matter...

"Sakura..." I murmured huskily and felt my heartbeat quicken as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"I love you Syaoran." Was her answer. Although it was somehow muffled and low I heard it loud and clear.

I froze. Ever since we met she had never said that to me ever. And now as I held her in my arms feeling totally vulnerable I froze from the impact her words had made.

'She loves me...'

She looked up at me and gazed at me in question. I already knew what she wanted to hear. She wanted to desperately hear my response.

Seeing the look in my eyes she suddenly looked away as more tears escaped her eyes.

"You...don't feel the same way..."

I felt my heart break. Don't feel the same way? How could she ever think of such a thing.

I gazed down at her for a few seconds then after awhile a grin made its way on my lips. I placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head up slowly to see her eyes.

"I love you." I finally said meaning each word with each breath that I took and with the very core of my soul.

"I love you." I repeated once more as I kissed away her tears as I finally felt our hearts beat as one in completion.

There was no need to turn away from her.

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A/N: I was going to make this chapter more intriguing and less sappy but I decided to leave that til the next chapter. I just wanted to depict the certain emotions that Sakura and Syaoran felt through the realization of their past lives and hopefully this was a very good piece to show that. And of course sap was another main factor as to why I took this route. I just love writing sap...*gushes* >_<