Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Partings ❯ Sakura ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Partings 2: Sakura
By: starlight Rose
AIM: starlighto rose
Email: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: CCS and all it's characters do not belong to me but to the wonderful ladies of Clamp who I worship.

AN: Well here's the next part of this short series. This is for all the Yue + Sakura fans out there. I would have put them together, but then there wouldn't be any angst and be can't have that right? Anyway the story is called Partings for a reason. Now if only I can find more good Yue fics out there I'd be happy! Well enjoy or not.

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Sakura. My mistress. She looks so happy up there with Clow's relative. Her smile is so bright. I wish I were the one standing up there with her. I wish I were the one making her smile. I should be happy for her. She will now be bound to the one she loves the most for eternity. I wish I could have been the one, but I'm not. It's ironic that I'm not the one.

Ironic. That's the best way to describe my relationship with her. Clow really did know me better than anybody else. He was the one that predicted that I could be happy with her. He even predicted that I would fall in love with her. That's why he gave me the form of Yukito. I didn't believe him then. I thought I would never accept another master, but not only did I accept another master but also I fell in love with my new master. I guess it was impossible for me to not love that beautiful little girl with the bright green eyes, but I never thought I would fall IN love with her.

I had the chance to be the one with her once, but I gave up that chance. I encouraged the boy that grew into the man that stood by her side up there on that stage. Clow's relative was also attracted to my false form. But I turned his feelings towards my mistress. I showed him where his feelings truly laid and he accepted my advice. She was also attracted to my false form. She told him that she liked him, but he rejected her. At the time I didn't stop him. I knew he liked someone else and I was willing to let him live his own life. After all, I wasn't in love with her. I should have guessed that as she grew I would fall in love with her, but I was too stupid to realize it then. I can never be with her as anything more than her guardian. I've lost that chance forever. The bond she shares with Clow's relative is eternal and binding, not like most marriages.

Yukito didn't and still doesn't know. I don't want him to know. If he knew then he would be sad and I did not want him to be sad on my account. But I couldn't take seeing her up there anymore. It just hurt me too much. Tonight's her wedding night. Tonight I know that there is no chance I could be with her. Ever. But if I could be with her, would I take the opportunity? Likely not. That would be selfish of me and she has taught me many things. One of them is to think of others instead of yourself. So I think of Yukito instead of myself. Yukito's heart leans towards a different direction than my own.

I mentally talk to Yukito. I started doing that after he learned of my existence. I think my existence bothered him a bit so I tried to come out a little as possible. But I need to get away. I need to get out so I ask him if I could. I could have done it without his permission, but that would have been rude. So I asked first. Yukito didn't understand why but he complied. I think he could feel some of my emotions. My confusion. My heart-ache. He moved to a shadowed part of the room to allow me to transform, unseen by anyone else.

I transformed and left. I went out onto the balcony and looked at the stars and the moon. Ironic. They were just like my mistress and I. She was the star and I was the moon. So close to each other but at the same time millions of light-years apart. Separated by vast expanses of darkness and sky, but to the naked eye they seemed right next to each other.

I don't know how long I stood out there just staring at the night sky when I felt a familiar presence approaching me. The presence was unmistakable. I could tell who it was without turning around. The person approaching had a comforting warm aura with a definite pink tinge to it. The scent of cherry blossoms wafted to my nose as I felt the person lay a soft delicate hand over my own. A soft sweet voice asked him gently, "Yue-san, what are you doing out here?"

I turned around to smile sadly at my mistress and answered, "I was just thinking."

She cocked her head delicately to the side and asked me curiously, "Do you mind telling me about what? You just seemed so sad sitting standing there like that."

"Nothing important, but if you wish to know then I will tell you because you are my mistress." I replied. My mistress. That was what she was. I had to keep reminding myself that. Not my love but merely my mistress.

"Yue-san. I told you before, I don't want to be your mistress but your friend." Sakura told me looking me directly in the eyes. She seemed so sad. Was it because of my sadness? Or was it because of my calling her my mistress? Or was it something else? I commanded my self to stop that train of thought. It wouldn't get me anywhere. She belonged to someone else now, and all she thought of me was as a friend. A friend. Nothing more. But at the same time nothing less. I knew as my friend she'd do anything to make me happy, but the one thing that could make me happy I could not ask her for.

I smiled down at her and cup her face gently in my hand replying, "I know, Sakura. You are my friend." My friend and the person I love. That was what she was but I dared not tell her that.

"I'm glad." Sakura said smiling brightly at me, "But could you tell me what you were thinking about?"

I looked away from her and back up at the stars and replied, "I was thinking about my first true meeting with you and accepting you as my master. I'm sorry I was so hard on you that first time. I was just being stubborn."

"Please don't apologize for that Yue-san. It was because of you that I tried harder. And you really loved Clow-san. I can see why you didn't want a new master. Anyway you helped me a lot when Eriol was testing me. Thank-you for protecting me all the time."

Always sweet and forgiving. She didn't blame me for what I did to her. Instead she thanks me for it. Maybe that's why I love her.

Love her.

Why her, though? The one person I was made for, but could not be with.

"If I could I would always protect you." I reply. "Unfortunately I will not be able to protect you anymore." I sighed warily, "You will be moving to Hong Kong with Clow's relative soon. I wish I could follow you and protect you as is my duty, but Yukito has a life here."

That was right. Yukito had a life there with Touya. For Yukito's life I had to give up my own life. I suppose it was only fair since neither Yukito nor I would still exist if it weren't for Touya giving us his power. For Touya and Yukito's happiness I was more than willing to give up my own, but still...I felt sad to have to part from my mistress. I wanted to protect her.

From the doorway I heard Keroberus's voice asking me, "What are you so worried about? Even though you won't be around to protect her, I will be moving in with them and she also has that brat to protect her."

"That's right she has the stuffed animal and me to protect her." Sakura's new husband said as he walked up to Sakura and wrapped his arms around his new bride. "That stuffed animal is coming to Hong Kong with us though he will NOT be staying the same room as Sakura anymore. I don't want him around when we...ah..."

He stopped there. I heard Keroberus snicker with amusement and I gave a half-hearted knowing smirk. Outwardly I acted as though I was amused by it all, but inside I was jealous. I was jealous that he was the one that held my mistress's heart. He was the one that would protect her. And it pained me even more knowing that had Yukito's heart leaned towards Sakura then I could have been the one with her instead of him.

Sakura looked at all of us before smiling her sweet smile and telling us, "Thank-you for wanting to protect me, but I can take care of myself now."

I smiled down at her realizing that she could indeed protect herself. "Yes you can now, can't you. You are the most powerful sorceress in the world." I had to give her up whether I wanted to or not. She didn't need me to protect her. She could protect herself. And whether I liked it or not she belonged to someone else. All I could do was let go and be happy that she found someone that loved her and would protect her as fiercely as I would have, even if the person weren't me. I had to let go. For now, I had to part with her and allow Yukito to live his life.

I smiled down at her and whispered, "Sayonara," before folding my wings around my body and resuming the form of Yukito. Yukito could live his life now. I would not interfere with his life anymore unless my mistress called upon me, or Yukito himself called upon me.