Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Poison ❯ Chapter 1: Nostalgic ( Chapter 1 )

Title:Poison
Author: Nekocin
E-mail: See my profile or livejournal
Type: AU/series
Genres: drama/ romance/ general
Anime: Card Captor Sakura
Warnings: OoC (possibly), OC (maybe), might be "dark", repetitive, time gaps
Pairings: mainly Touya+Yukito, other (implied) pairings like Sakura+Syaoran
Rated: G -- > PG13 -- > R, PG13 for now
Additional notes: major shounen-ai factors, re-edited from "Poison" which had never been posted on the net yet, possible sexual frustrations
Summary I: 2 strangers with nothing in common meet in a world of inevitability even if it's not.
Summary II: Knowing that Sakura's going to leave his side one day, Touya goes through life, like an empty vessel. He chooses a -road-, ending up with someone whom he'd the least suspected to be friends with.
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. 'nough said.

Chapter 1: Nostalgic

It's a fine Sunday morning. The sky is clear except from the occasional small puffs of clouds that pass by over his head. The light spring breeze runs past, cooling the slightly higher temperature in the area.

It seems like today's the first day he's ever acknowledged how much he's missed the little things of life like... the air, the light... even the time. Any other day he would have enjoyed this light feeling of freedom in his chest.

But not today, not even at the moment.

He turns his away from the sky to look at his sister, Sakura, from across the yard. She's surrounded by her little circle of friends, having fun while she's still there. Her engagement ring round her finger shines lightly.

Yes. It's her engagement day. She's going to be taken away from him and placed under another man's protection... Forever. Because of that, he's simply regretted for ignoring the time that has went by between them [him and Sakura]; He hadn't thought about his little sister leaving him one day. But he'd known in the back of his mind that some day another male figure would steal her away, away from him forever...

Ever since he'd taken up the up the responsibility of protecting Sakura with his life, he'd fended off nauseous little punks who'd dared to come close to her within a few feet. They'd never really succeeded in wooing her though...

It's probably only natural after the deaths of both their parents that he's afraid his sister, the only closest blood-related family he had_ knew and loved, will leave him. But today, it seems he's failed in keeping her to himself, no matter how selfish it sounds.

She's engaged and happy, he adds grudgingly.

The only male, who doesn't seem to be scared of him, is that punk there!
Touya pulls his eyes away from his sister and reluctantly looks at the in-law-to-be. Li Syaoran, a Chinese businessman whom Sakura's met in her field of work. The guy's standing with that ever-so-smiling and ever-so-lying husband of one of Sakura's friends, nodding naively as the other's prattling nonsense of god-knows-where he's gotten those stories.

Touya doesn't quite get it why Sakura has fallen for that gaki [brat]. But somehow he just knows; his in-law-to-be is just... someone who's been there for his sister when he's not available. The punk has simply won her heart.

And that has given Touya sleepless nights and the uncharacteristic tantrums for days. Especially when Sakura's started talking about HIM with him, commenting about the gaki being so nice and kind and everything.

Touya could've broken them up out of sheer anger or maybe even jealousy or protectiveness. But he didn't.
He'd watched the love between the two unfold, blooming lovingly just like mother and father's love for each other. The dreaded day has thus arrived: the engagement day.

The rings have been exchanged. And both of them have been sending kind or even longing glances to each other across the yard for the last the few minutes.

She's happy. She's lucky. As long she's happy, Touya will not interfere with her life. She's free; she can fly away now.

But it hurts.

"Onii-chan, come on! We're taking a family picture. Just the three of us: you, Syaoran and me" Sakura touches his shoulder lightly and smiles up at him.

Sakura's grown. She's really grown. It's seemed like yesterday when she still reached his hip, and today his shoulder. Her big, childish green eyes, which she'd back then, are now remarkably shining with happiness_ mature and... they look like kaa-san's eyes. Sakura's still kept her auburn hair short like back then; long hair is probably a nuisance. Touya has to agree that Sakura's grown in a very, pretty lady.

"What's wrong?" she frowns, looking worriedly up at him and squeezes his shoulder.

"Aa" he finds himself answering.
He's not someone with many words, but Sakura seems to understand the response. ~Sure~
She smiles gently and pulls him along towards the gathered crowd in the front yard.

Li Syaoran's standing patiently near the bushes as he nods his head slightly when the photographer comments about which background suits a family picture better. Li's after all going to be part of the family... unless they break off their engagement some time later, which doesn't seem likely.

"Just one photo" Touya raises one finger warningly.

"Whatever you say, onii-chan" Sakura smiles again and makes him stand somewhere in front of the rose bushes while she stands on his right side.

"Syaoran"

The husband-to-be smiles gently at Sakura and stands on his brother-in-law's other side.

Touya sighs and hesitantly places a casual arm around both Sakura and her husband-to-be. It's a family photo; they're going to be one family in the future anyways.

Their photo has been taken in a few seconds.
After that he pulls away and walks out of the front yard.

"Onii-chan, where are you going? Aren't you going to stay for tonight?"

Touya stops in his steps and looks over his shoulder at his sister. "I've only promised to come to your engagement. I have not said I'm going to stay for tonight. Besides, I've planned on going to some other place" A deliberate lie.

He throws her a small, but affectionate smile. "See you some day... kaijuu"

It has taken just a few seconds before Sakura's caught up with the nickname. "I'm not a monster!" she responds automatically, shaking an angry fist at her brother.

But Touya has already made his way to his car, which was parked near the lane. The nickname isn't meant to tease her consciously. It's more than just a nickname. Touya smiles faintly. She's still his little sister whenever she gets angry because of his teasing.

Time just flies, he muses absently. Before he knows it he'll become the only uncle to Sakura's children... he doesn't like the feeling of knowing his sister will be sleeping with that gaki; him touching her and all-
-he stops his thoughts abruptly.

No more thinking.

Not right now.

There's always work to do: unfinished paperwork from last week, new documents of new products, and quick meetings with unknown people etcetera. There's always work.

After leaving Sakura's engagement party, he finds himself in his office behind his desk. As the Executive Producer and Head Designer of Daidouji Toy Company, it's not surprising why his desk's over heaped with various brown/manila folders consisting of newly-designed toys, re-designed toys and futuristic toy designs paperwork regarding the toys' statistics various unfinished drawings, loads of notebooks about his future planning and important meetings he has to set up with.

That's the active life of Kinomoto Touya.

He slumps in his chair behind the desk and stares blankly at the work in front of him.
On his way to his office he hasn't met anyone that works on his floor. His colleagues had probably been mad when Daidouji-sama had given him a day off today. That explains why the work on his desk has looked so much. They always dump their work on his desk, whenever they aren't happy with the decisions their boss had taken regarding him.
Daidouji-sama, his boss, is in fact a relative from his mother's side of the family. It's no wonder why the colleagues on his floor don't like him that much.

Touya didn't care what they really thought of him as long as he had work to do. He hasn't complained one bit to Daidouji-sama. The extra work helps at times when he's not feeling okay, like this one.

In a few minutes, Touya has thrown himself into the many unfinished works on his desk. He drowns himself in papers, black or blue ink on white sheets. Work is good for fending off the haphazard or messed up thoughts in his mind. He needs to get his head off the thought of having lost Sakura...

... Fabrication problems in the toys, more flashy colors for the toys, more styles... and time flies by, going unnoticed by the overworking man, Touya.

"Touya-kun? You're here? Aren't you supposed to go to Sakura-chan's engagement?"

Touya looks up respectfully. His boss, Daidouji-sama, is standing in front of his office, clad in her nice dark-red suit.

"Yes, Daidouji-sama. Though I'd left immediately after taking a family picture."

"I understand. Why don't you go home right away? I can give you a ride-" She offers sincerely.

"I'm fine, Daidouji-sama. I've still a few more pages to check." Touya gives her a long glance.

"Are you sure?" She sends him a worried look... purple eyes.

"Yes... Good night, Daidouji-sama" He bows curtly in respect.

"...Good night, Touya-kun. Make sure you don't overwork yourself, okay?" Her voice sounding so motherly towards him that it even embarrasses him.

So he nods faintly.

11:45 PM

He's decided to take the work home instead.

Working alone in that office building doesn't appeal him anymore that night. Neither does his cold and lonely apartment. Without Sakura's presence, there's no warmth in his home. Nobody's waiting for him there.

It seems as if someone has planned his moves- his body is moving almost naturally if it hasn't been for his death grip on the wheel. There's that little voice at the back of his mind, gesturing a fork threateningly to his brain.

Just go... it whispers so seductively, a dangerous fork is raised closely towards his subconscious mind. Touya isn't new to this threat. He supposes everyone has that little voice inside their minds whether or not one could tell if it's whispering right or wrong decisions. However, unlike THE little voice, this voice threatens.

THIS voice always seem to appear when he's feeling down; on the day of his mother's death, his father's death... and now Sakura's engagement. The former two haven't been too appealing to hear that little voice, because there'll always be a happy, naive young Sakura by his side to keep him together. Of course, he still misses both his parents; he knows there's nothing he can do to stop them from leaving him and Sakura forever. It's inevitable.

Now that Sakura's left him, he's not sure what to become of his 'bright' future.

Does he have to pick up some girl? Bribe her to get married to him? Have kids with her? And spend the rest of his life together with her in all his misery till both of them have died?

These thoughts are uncalled for!

He swats those disturbing thoughts away. There's really no need to taking such drastic actions. Rationality is the key. Touya stares at the car-filled road in front of his line of view. The heavy traffic is moving slowly into one of the busiest cities of the country. He takes the left street instantly, instead of the main road to home.

This is way too tempting, he muses silently to himself.

... That's right. Keep on going, the voice encourages.

MADAM BUTTERFLY

It's the name of the bar, which Touya has recently heard from Sakura's group of friends. It's new in business, but popular among youngsters and others nonetheless.
The appearance of the bar's interior didn't interest him much. He just heads straight towards the counter and patiently let his eyes look over the many stalled drinks against the wall.

Way too many unknown drinks.

Which one should he order without getting drunk?

"Try -Light Moon Beam-, which consists of White Wine and some secret ingredients" As if having heard his thoughts, someone answers to his unspoken question.

Touya's slightly surprised and looks up at the source from where the soft, mellow voice has come from.

A young bartender is casually leaning against the counter, looking expectantly at him with a courteous smile on his face, looking a bit ridiculous with those big glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

... Dark gray hair and hazel eyes...

"I beg your pardon?" Touya stares deadpanned at the bartender.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I just can't help but notice how lost you seem when you looked up at the display of drinks. Assuming you're new here, the -Light Moon Beam- does seem to be a good choice in your case" the bartender says good-naturedly and let his eyes meet Touya's briefly.

"Have we met before?" Touya blurts out instead, looking down at the shorter and far-too-skinny bartender with a straight face.

The bartender blinks and smiles a little. "Maybe... so what's it going to be if you don't want-"

"Is this beam-whatever a light drink? I don't want to be drunk while riding back home"

"Sure it is. I understand"

"Then may I have one drink, please"

"Yes, sir" the bartender walks away as Touya turns around to look for an appropriate place to sit.

Most costumers are bundled up together near the karaoke stage. A few seem to be having a small dinner date or some sorts. It's really by chance when Touya's found a good seat against one wall: that way he can observe everything and everyone better, just to get his mind off of his losses.

Should he be proud of the loss?
Not likely.

Will he ever going to see the point of living alone without anyone nearby?
Also not likely...
There's no one who will point it out for him. His life sure is dull...

Somehow a glass of something within his sight has snapped him back to reality.

"Here you go" the same bartender, from a moment ago, is standing next to his seat, serving the ordered drink.
Touya nods his thanks.

"Shouldn't you get back to your post?" he didn't have to look at the bartender standing next to his seat, almost hovering behind him.

"I'm just making sure if you can really take this drink, sir" the man responds neutrally.
He takes a deliberate sip from the offered glass without hesitation.

Touya looks at his drink and waits. It hasn't taken long before his throat begins to burn instantly. He swallows slowly, trying to keep away the burning and acknowledges the bartender's presence once again.

"It's fine"

The other is probably smiling; Touya didn't know why, but he has a hunch the bartender must be. And a glass of water is placed on Touya's table.

Touya stares at the glass.

"Are you the only one working here?" he wonders out loud.

"No. Two waitresses and another bartender work here too, but due some unexpected circumstances they're taking nights off,"
As if on cue more costumers enter the bar, looking around enthusiastically. They're mostly girls, probably still from High school.

"TSUKISHIRO-SAN!!" the girls shout out in excitement and wave in greeting.

"Hai!" the bartender chuckles and waves back in return. "If you'll excuse me..."

Touya watches the bartender take his place behind the counter and serve the new costumers. The girls start prattling merrily to the bartender, obliviously making the boys of their group jealous. The bartender, Tsukishiro, just smiles, nods and comments in what seems -politely-, is the right word.

Touya turns his attention to the karaoke corner: a small stage with a new TV set and the karaoke equipment on top. A whole group of teenagers, who did not seem to be older than just junior high students, are laughing, singing, talking or even making out in that corner. No one seems to be bothered, except Touya himself maybe.

They're being too loud and too blatantly discourteous at a public place like this one. Though it's kind of relatively understanding when the bartender has his hands full with serving the drinks and listening to the enthusiastic costumers' talks at the same time.

Would the boss be so harsh to leave the whole place to only one bartender for so many nights?

Touya doesn't care. It's not his business.

He gulps down the rest of his drink, closes his eyes and waits for the burning on his tongue to subside. The bitterness in taste is good at the moment. He can at least focus on the bitterness at the back of his tongue and look for something edible to treat his churning stomach.

Touya stands up and walks a bit rigidly towards the counter, bypassing the group, which Tsukishiro has just served.

"Doesn't he have the greatest smile?"

"I thought you love Shinji's smile"

"Of course I do. But Tsukishiro-san just has this great smile"

"Oh, and don't forget about his eyes. They're so big warm and genuine. It gives me the flutters in my stomach"

"I wonder why he wears those big glasses. I really believe if he discards them he'll be the hunk of the week"

"By the way, have you guys heard?"

"What?"

"Tsukishiro-san has already twenty something girls asking him for a considerable date in one week?"

"Are you sure? I thought he had more admirers"

"Of course he has. Those girls are just simply too shy to approach him"

"So what's the big secret?"

"He has turned them down. All of them..."

Touya shakes his head absently and takes out his wallet to pay for the drink.

Those girls remind him of his own time back in high school. He's gotten several approaches from the girls, trying to befriend him and... What's become of it?

Nothing, he supposes.

His mind had been too set on his studies and the welfare of his younger sister. So he hadn't gotten deluded by their obvious attraction towards him.

"Thank you for coming, sir. I hope to see you soon" Tsukishiro smiles politely.

Touya nods once and heads for the exit. The night looks so young from his side of the city. With the moon painted in the sky and surrounded by dancing stars...

As soon as he's entered his apartment, he doesn't bother flicking the lights on. After taking off his shoes, he dumps his unfinished work on the kitchen counter and makes his way to the small veranda.

The goddess of the wind coaxes him gently, whispering some unknown spell in his ears.

He leans over the railing on his elbows and looks at the busy city lights. He feels alone...

XXX

The next night he finds himself back in Madam Butterfly, drinking 2 glasses of -Light Moon Beam-. He isn't addicted, that's for sure. So why is he there again?

The aura, which he's felt inside the bar, has been soothing in a way. Melancholic.
Touya begins to like the dark loneliness in the shadows of Madam Butterfly. Not really the right kind of feeling one can associate with such a popular bar. Perhaps it's the name _Madam Butterfly had been lonely after her husband had left her_

# As she sits there, embracing herself under the moonlight -with her pale face turn to the silver moon-, she looks so young and resembles a fragile, porcelain doll.

Her body starts shaking unexpectedly and her red lips move -whispering something incoherently-

She's waited to so long, so alone. Her eyes shut themselves and two teardrops roll down along her pale, alabaster cheeks.

The night is cold and lonely #

END Chapter 1

Terms:

Onii-chan -- Big brother [affectionately]
Gaki -- Brat

End notes:

- This story is first started from Yukito's POV, but then at that time I'd been reading too many Touya POVs that I got engrossed by the idea of playing Touya a bit.
- This is an Alternative Universe story so there are some slight Out of Character features in the CCS cast.
- And the last part is actually a bit about my view of Madam Butterfly [A literature character]
- I know this whole thing sounds a bit farfetched but at least I'm posting [for once probably] a completed story [about 8 chapters]
- There are a lot of time gaps so if anything is confusing just e-mail me or something. XD I won't bite.
- This story also has a sequel, but that one will be posted later.

:smiley face:cin

Edit: replaced the typos. Sorry for the inconvenience.