Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Sakura Falls ❯ Jyugo ( Chapter 15 )

Sakura Falls

By: Sorano

Chapter Fifteen

Disclaimer: CCS doesn't belong to me, never has, never will. Sob. CCS belongs to the talented CLAMP and Kodansha.

A/N: There! The last chapter! You'll have to wait a couple weeks for the sequel 'cause I'm going to Wonderland!!!!!!!!!!! Yipee!! does nutty little dance. Gomen minna , I'm just excited.

Something was wrong. Months and months were slipping by without Sakura getting her period. "Could Oniichan have been right? I was pretty stupid." Fear was beginning to fill her; it was easy enough to guess what was coming. "Masaka, masaka. It can't be. Sakura get a grip!" She refused to believe it. There was no way it could be true. But…

I have to know. It's worse not knowing. Sakura stepped into the bathroom and brought out a small package she'd purchased at the drugstore the previous day. It cost half of her allowance too. "Now…how do I do this?" She flipped the box over on its side, trying to find some directions. The whole absurdity of it hit her then- that she, not quite sixteen, was trying to figure out a pregnancy test.

Giggling, she squinted to read the small print directions. "Let's see…Hoeee? Okay, well I guess this won't be too difficult."

A little while later she had the finished test in her hand and was waiting for the results to show up. "Come on…" Sakura thought she was going to go insane. What will I do if it's positive? I just can't be pregnant! Slowly the little shape formed and Sakura's heart skipped a beat. She bit her lip in horror as the dot changed colour. She leaned back against the counter and started to cry.

* * *

Fujitaka hesitated a moment before knocking on the bathroom door. He wasn't quite sure how to approach this topic with his daughter. "Sakura-chan?" He reached out and rapped on the door gently. "I busy, Otousan!" A hoarse voice yelled.

"Sakura-chan, this is important." What's she doing in there? She's been in the bathroom for over an hour.

He could hear sniffling and shuffling from inside. There was a loud crash and Sakura let out a yelp. "Daijobu, Sakura-chan?"

"I'm okay." The door was opened and Fujitaka peered at the pale girl. Her eyes were red-rimmed (from crying?), and he could make out faint tearstains running down her cheeks. He decided against mentioning this.

"We have to talk, Sakura-chan." She looked very frightened all of a sudden. "I'm really busy right now, Otousan. Can't it wait?"

"Iie, Sakura-chan," he said firmly, guiding her to the living room. "This cannot wait." She sat down in the middle of the large leather couch, and he sat on a stiff chair opposite her. This reminded the both of a courtroom somehow. "Sakura-chan, why do you look like you want to run away? Do you have a reason to be in trouble?"

Sakura gulped, utterly miserable. "Do I, 'touchan?" she asked softly.

Fujitaka tossed a small container at her and she reached her hand up in the air and caught it. "Oh no…" It only took her two seconds to realize what the container was. Her precious bottle of ecstasy. Green eyes met brown eyes, both unsure what emotion they saw.

"Can you explain this, Sakura-chan?" Her father's voice was calm, controlled, yet somewhat strained.

"Eeto, you see, 'touchan, th-" her voice faltered and she was silent.

"Do you know what those are?" Fujitaka asked her.

"Hai."

"Are they yours?"

Could she lie her way out of this one? Would she give up this easily? Succumb to the squares? Mind to clouded to think clearly, she gave a little nod.

Fujitaka sighed. "I am extremely disappointed in you, Sakura-chan. I thought I taught you better than this." He got up and paced the room. "Why? What did this to you?"

Now what can I say? How do I get myself out of this one? Sakura popped the lid and picked up one of the large colorful pills. "Look, 'touchan, isn't it pretty?" She held it out for him to see. It was a soft pink, grainy, and had a happy face imprinted upon it. "These are the cheaper ones," Sakura said. "They come in all kinds of designs."

Her father angrily knocked the bottle from her hand and the little happy faces spilt across the floor. "Now look what you've done!" Sakura cried, bending to scoop them up. "These cost me a good thirty dollars!"

"Listen to me, Sakura-chan! You have to stop this!" He sat next to her on the couch. "Something terrible has happened to you these past few months. Your grades are dangerously low, you're never home, getting in trouble with the police, sneaking out, bad language, bad attitude, and now these drugs?" You don't know the half of it, Sakura smirked. Just wait until you find out I pregnant 'touchan!.

Sakura started to giggle. Ojiisan!

"Nothing is funny here, Sakura-chan." I can't punish her, Fujiaka thought desperately. She needs help. Support, not anger.

"Ara, I think it's hilarious," Sakura giggled and popped one of the XTCs into her mouth. How can I get through to her?

"You can get help, Sakura-chan. They're people who can help you!"

"Ano, you mean rehab? No way! Listen, 'touchan, I've got better things to do, okay? I'll see you later." As she was opening the front door, she muttered under her breath, "This is getting a little old. I need to find a new way of leaving."

Fujitaka heard the front door slam and put his head in his hands. "That went well…" She won't listen to me. She can only get help when she wants it. Maybe she'll listen to someone else. Her friends maybe? He reached for the phone book and looked up drug help numbers.

* * *

Sakura had been looking for an escape when she left, but she soon discovered that was impossible. "Sakura-chan, wait up!" Coming through the cherry blossoms was Tomoyo, and behind her was Chiharu, Yamazaki, Rika, and Naoko.

Sakura sighed and waited for her friends to catch up.

"Sakura-chan?" Rika looked a little sad as they walked along and talked. "What's wrong with you? I want to know. You've been so different lately. And you've been distancing yourself from us."

Sakura shrugged and kicked a stone impatiently. "People change. Friends change. That's life."

Her friends looked like she had slammed a door in their faces. "Sakura-chan?" Naoko stuttered, unsure of what she was witnessing. "But you promised. We all said we would be friends forever."

Tomoyo decided she couldn't take any more of this and firmly grabbed Sakura's arm. "Come on, Sakura-chan. We're going to talk."

Sakura tried to wrench away, but it was no use. "I don't want to talk! I want to go to a party!"

"I think you've had enough parties, Sakura-chan."

Sakura rolled her eyes, but sat down on a park bench with them. "So…what did you want to talk about?" She plastered on a cheery smile.

"You know damn well. What's going on?"

"Nothing is going on!"

"Sakura-chan, we know about your drug addiction."

"Yeah? So what? Do you want some? I have some love with me now."

"Don't you understand? We care about you! Or can you not comprehend that word anymore? We want the old Sakura back."

"She's dead. As dead as Mei-ling. As dead as my mother," Sakura spoke sullenly, glaring at the girls surrounding her.

"How can you say that?!"

Suddenly Tomoyo started to cry and Rika sniffled a little. "Sakura-chan, you're my best friend! I don't want to lose you."

"Lose me? I'm not going anywhere." "

You'll die! Don't you know what drugs can do?"

"I'm not going to die. That's the point. I'm more alive now than I ever was."

"And that's another thing. How can you be such a bitch now? Sweet Sakura," Chiharu hissed.

"Excuse me? Bitch? You're the ones who are fucking interrogating me1"

"And what about poor Li-san? He loves you and you're going off screwing other guys!"

Sakura's eyes turned hard and she stood up. "I don't have to hear this." She got no more than a few feet before her friends gently pushed her back down.

"We aren't accusing you, Sakura-chan. We're just trying to help you."

"I don't want nor need your help."

"Eeto, we think you do."

"What do you know? You don't know anything about me!" Sakura was on the verge of tears and her voice screeched. "Oh, God, oh God, oh God." Sakura bent down and wrapped her arms around herself.

Tomoyo inched over next to her and hugged her gently. "Sakura-chan…It's okay."

"Iie …" Sakura's body shook with sobs. "Iie, it isn't okay. It'll never be okay."

"We'll get you help. Things can change."

Sakura shook her head. "Iie. I'm pregnant…"

"You're WHAT?" This was a male voice, coming from in front of the girls. Sakura looked up to see her boyfriend's harsh amber eyes peering down at her.

"I'm…I'm…pregnant."

"Ara, shimatta. Sakura!"

Confusion filled Syaoran. He didn't know what to think. He was angry with his girlfriend. But why? Who's the father? Is it me? Poor Sakura, what must she be going through now? But…

Syaoran spoke through tightly clenched teeth as he demanded who the father was.

Sakura crumpled against Tomoyo, wailing, "I don't know!"

"How can you not know? Exactly how many guys have you been having sex with?" Sakura reddened.

"A few. I have no idea who it is."

Syaoran swore rapidly in Chinese, horrifying the girls with the sting in his words. Eventually he calmed down and noticed his girlfriend was crying. "It's okay, Sakura-chan." He pushed Naoko aside and kissed his girlfriend. "Things will be alright. You can get help with this drug thing, and we can deal with the baby and…" Syaoran's voice trailed off, for in truth he had no idea how to help his little cherry blossom.

* * *

A very emotional Sakura hugged her friends and thanked them before heading home. Fujitaka tried to pretend their previous conversation never happened, but Sakura insisted on talking. They sat on the couch, this time beside each other.

"Otousan …" Sakura gulped, not quite sure where to begin. How does a fifteen year old girl tell her dad she's going to have a baby? This is so wrong!

"Hai, koishii?"

"ImpregntanImrellysorybutIcanthelpit." She rushed the words out, afraid of her father's reaction.

Fujitaka wrinkled his brow and smiled encouragingly at her. "Can you repeat that, Sakura-chan? I'm not sure I understood you."

"'touchan, I'm pregnant."

Fujitaka turned white, but didn't say anything.

"Gomen nasai, 'touchan."

"How did this happen?"

"'touchan, you should know that by now."

"Who is it?" His voice was horse and cracking.

Sakura bit her lip. Here was the hardest part. "I'm not sure."

"I can't believe this. You're only fifteen."

"I'm almost sixteen."

"That's still to young. You're still in high school. You're a drug addict."

Sakura was silently. Fujitaka had summed up the situation pretty well.

"What are you going to do? You can't keep the baby."

"I have to, 'touchan. It's mine."

"There's abortion. Or adoption." In one ear, and out the other.

"'touchan, you aren't listening! I can't give up my baby. And abortion? That's just cruel. I refuse to do that."

Without another word, Fujitaka suddenly stood and walked out of the room. Sakura sat dumbfounded, then burst into tears. She lay there for an hour, crying into the silk throw pillow Syaoran had brought from China.

* * *

The next day, Syaoran accompanied Sakura to the hospital where she wanted to get some tests done. He had sworn to her that no matter who the father was, he'd stay with her no matter what. "I love you, Sakura-chan. I know you've made some mistakes but I have a feeling things are going to change soon."

Sakura went to talk with a doctor and Syaoran waited outside. A middle-aged man raised his eyes at him questioningly. "That your girlfriend, lad?"

"Hai."

"She ain't pregnant, now is she?"

"I don't really think that's any of your business."

"Are you the father?"

"Maybe."

The man whistled, smirking slightly. "You kids today. It's sad, really."

Syaoran picked up a magazine and tried to ignore the man. Sakura is going to have deal with this the rest of her life. She'll be taunted by her peers and shunned by her family. Meanwhile that bastard that got her pregnant gets off free.

Inside the doctor's room, a sympathetic young doctor was talking with Sakura. "See darling, you've realized what a mistake you've made, right?"

"Yes, I know."

"Being pregnant is going to be very difficult for you." A nurse came into the room and handed the doctor some papers.

"Okay, we've got your results back. You definitely are pregnant, if you weren't sure. Those self-tests aren't very reliable. The baby appears to be fine, healthy, and in the right position. I'm guessing it should be due around late March. Hai, hon, next March."

Sakura smiled softly. "Wouldn't it be funny if it was born on Mei-ling's birthday?"

"Who's Mei-ling? The father?"

"Oh, no. She's just a friend of mine…"

* * *

"Un, I am kind of excited now," Sakura told Tomoyo on the phone. "I mean, a little girl or boy all of mine own."

"Iie, I don't know the gender. I wanted it to be a surprise. Because it's my first. Too bad. You like it so much, why don't you just make some for a boy or girl? Yep. I'll tell him or her that their clothes came from Auntie Tomoyo. You bet I'm going to call you that. And you'll like it too. Think about me. I have to deal with being called 'mama.'

"Hoe? No. Well what do you want me to do? I know drugs and smoking are harmful to my baby. You don't understand, Tomoyo-chan. I can't live without them. No way am I going to rehab. Iie, I don't know yet. I'm going in for more tests tomorrow. A DNA test and a STD test. That's something I should've done long ago."

Sakura giggled at Tomoyo's next sentence. "Yeah, I told him. He was sure surprised that his imouto would have a child before him. I think he fainted or something when I told him. There was a loud 'thunk' and then I heard Yukito calling his name over and over."

"Yep, he took it pretty well. He thinks it's wonderful I'm going to be a mommy. He asked if he could be the godfather. Isn't Yukito sweet? Yeah, who would've known? Iie, Syaoran isn't like that. I know. I'm glad, too. Look, I've got to go. I'll talk to you in school tomorrow, okay? Sayonara."

* * *

"There's a rave being held at that new club downtown tonight," Miyuko said the next morning.

"I don't think I'll go," Sakura said, wondering if this was the right choice.

"Nani? You have to go. It won't be any fun without you."

Sakura started spending less and less time with Miyuko's crowd, finding them not quite the friends she saw them to be. The cat episode still had her grossed out and Miyuko and them weren't very nice people. It's pathetic. They think they're so cool, but they need to chemicals to be that way or they'd be sniveling babies. Sakura was shocked by this. Isn't that just like me? I really am a pathetic drug addict!

Admie passed Sakura a note in science class. Looking to see if the teacher was looking, Sakura slowly unfolded the strawberry scented paper. Cherry girl- it said. What's up? You seem different lately. You haven't gone tripping with us in a long time. You aren't turning square on us are you? You're part of us now, Sakura. Drugs are everything. We rule. PLUR, remember? It's all good, Sakura-chan. So we have to know. Are you one of us? Are you abandoning us? Let's talk at lunch, k? -Cute lil' junkie, Admie P.S: Want me to pierce your bellybutton for you? I got a great new needle yesterday.

Sakura's mind was racing. What should she do? Do I really want to be friends with them? They're ruining my life! But I love it all so much! How can I give it up? Suddenly Sakura knew what she had to do. For her family, for her Syaoran, for her baby, and for herself. She pulled a sheet of loose-leaf from her notebook and wrote one line- No talk. I actually have a life. Maybe I'll see you guys around. She crumpled it up, set it on the floor, and kicked it over to Admie.

Admie scowled and tossed the note to Miyuko who gave Sakura the finger. Sakura grinned and waved.

* * *

Later that day Sakura went to the hospital to get those tests done. "Well, Kinomoto-san," a nurse said brightly. "You sure are lucky. Both you and the baby are perfectly healthy. But if anything, anything, comes up make sure to let us know."

Sakura also had a DNA test done, which proved inconclusive. "It would help if you could bring in all of the guys you've had sexual intercourse with in the past few months."

"ALL of them?"

The doctor raised his eyebrows. "Is there that many?"

Sakura blushed, ashamed of herself. "Yeah, kind of. And I don't think I'll be able to find them all."

"Eeto, round up as many as you can."

Syaoran was waiting outside for Sakura again. He had been nervously whistling the whole time and pacing (driving the other patients crazy). He was afraid something might be wrong with his girlfriend. When she stepped up of the room, he ran up to her and hugged her. "Are you okay?"

"Yep, everything's great! They still aren't sure who the father is though." "

That's okay. You know what, Sakura-chan? I'm going to take you out for dinner tonight! To a really fancy restaurant!"

Sakura and Syaoran went to a ritzy French restaurant that you need a reservation to get into. This was unplanned so they didn't have a reservation, but Syaoran used his family's name as a way to get in. "I didn't know you Li's were so famous," Sakura remarked.

"You'd be surprised," Syaoran whispered in her ear.

They talked for hours and dined on the fanciest meals Sakura had ever had in her life. After they had finished desert of crème brulet, Syaoran decided the time was right to bring up a certain matter with his girlfriend. "Sakura-chan," he took a deep breath and continued. "I love you."

Sakura smiled at him, the same gentle one she saved for him since fifth grade. "I know, silly. I love you too."

"More than that. I mean I really love you." Syaoran blushed, unsure of how to continue. "I…think it would be nice if…well, they can't force me to marry Mei-ling anymore…."

"Spit it out baka! What are you saying?" Sakura, dense as always. "I'm going to become the head of the Li clan next year, on my seventeenth birthday. And, I have to have a wife by then. That's not what I mean…Oh!" Syaoran slammed his hand against his head in exasperation with himself. "When you're old enough, Sakura-chan, let's get married?"

The shocked girl put her hands up to her mouth. Syaoran had totally caught her off guard. "You'll be sixteen next month, Sakura-chan. And with the baby coming…"

"Are you proposing to me?"

"Ah, um. Not exactly. I don't exactly have a ring or anything. I just want to say, I love you and you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Ara, but Syaoran-kun! I love you too, but…" How can I explain it to him? "I'm so young to be tied down!" She winced when she saw pain flash across Syaoran's face.

"You mean there's someone else you'd rather be with? You don't know for sure?" Sakura leaned across the table and kissed him long and passionately. It would have been a very romantic scene if Sakura's blouse hadn't dragged along in the sauce and gotten all dirty.

"Shimatta!" Sakura rubbed at it with her napkin, and Syaoran came over to her side to help. He was pressing a wet napkin against her press and Sakura mock-glared at him. "I think you're enjoying this." Syaoran blushed. Soon the two of them were laughing and fell down on the seat, flinging napkins at each other.

They were so disruptive the waiter asked them to leave. The two teenagers ambled along the moonlight beach outside the restaurant, talking. "I told you that you're the one I care about most six years ago," Syaoran said, his voice dead serious. "And I love you still today. We're destined to be together. The cherry blossom and little wolf."

"I'll think about it," was Sakura's reply.

And as she stared into those sweet amber eyes, Sakura couldn't help thinking this was the happiest she'd been in a long time. This was a bliss drugs couldn't give her. She had gone through so much since she was a kid, changed so much, and yet here she was today. She had almost destroyed her soul, and things could be so dark and miserable. She had experienced real life.

So if life is so horrible, if it's just a long fall, is it really worth living? And Sakura knew it was. Things just had to get better. She could climb out of this hole; the sun was already shining though. Who knows what the future might bring, but everything would be okay as long as she held on. I'm done with this life, Sakura decided. I can never be the old Sakura again. I've lost my innocence. But I can be a new person, better than before. Sakura Kinomoto was done falling.

Eeto, I told you minna that I would re-write the entire series and I'm still not sure how pleased I am with the way it turned out. What do you think? Please go and read the sequel now. The first bit is boring but the part I'm working on now is so good! I think I deserve a long review now, ne, minna? - Luv u all, Sorano