Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Shiro Usagi ❯ One-Shot

Shiro Usagi


Warning: Extreme Angst, Death, slight non-con graphic lemon

Pairing: Yukito x Touya

What breaks in a moment
may take years to mend.
~Swedish proverb~

Akizuki Nakuru made her way silently across the garden to the side of the house that belonged to Tsukishiro Yukito. A scowl shaped her lips for a moment as the silver haired blonde flashed across her mind and she put a little more force than necessary to open the window, making it slam upwards in its frame. She shrank back for a moment listening and waiting. After the moment passed, she hauled herself up and slid through the window to sit half on half off the counter beneath the window.

Sliding forwards till her feet touched the floor, she straightened herself and then studied the kitchen. Yes, this would work... there was no way *this* plan could fail. She would finally have Touya and be able to hurt *him* at the same time. She took out the three small needles she had stowed in her pack. If it went as well as she thought it should she would have no problems getting her Touya away from Yukito after tonight. She scanned the counters silently looking for the right thing to place the drug within the needles. Her best bet was food, but something only *he* would eat and not her Touya.. she didn't want him to get any of this if she could help it. Finally her eyes took in a small basket on one counter and she looked into it to see three small cakes. Just enough for one person considering the way Yukito ate. With a small smirk she picked one up and then uncapped the needle with her other hand.

Studying the small cake she slid the needle into it and injected the contents of the drug into it. Quickly she repeated the action with the other two cakes and set them back down in the basket. Picking the needles back up and capping them she was silently congratulating for thinking up this. Then she heard footsteps and quickly slipped out the window, the needles in one hand. Unbeknownst to her was that one of them fell out and landed with a soft plink on the counter, half hidden by a small container. She hurried out of the yard and watched silently as a light came on in the house. Soon, the only thing standing between Touya and her would be gone and it would be Yukito's own fault. She shivered slightly just thinking of how everything should go.

Of course there would be some pain for Touya, but she couldn't find away around that so she decided the end justified the means. And if it took a little pain to make Touya hers then that would just have to be accepted.

"Have a nice snack, baka.. I hope you enjoy it while you can." she hissed softly towards the now lit kitchen window. With one last look at the rest of the house she turned and left, walking silently into the shadows and disappearing into the night.

Yukito set his books down on the bed and then smiled up at Touya who was settling down in front of him leaning back on the headboard. "I'm going to get a small snack before we start. You want anything?" he asked him.

He was gifted with a smile. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry at the moment." Touya said as he took a book out of his backpack.

He smiled again and then turned leaving the room and going to the kitchen looking silently into the fridge before shutting it and scanning the counters. Spotting the small basket he walked over and picked up all three of the small cakes inside and walked out of the kitchen back towards the bedroom.

By the time he got there he still had one left. Sitting down on the bed, he pulled a book in front of him and began to read silently while finishing the cake.

An hour later, Touya glanced up from his work at Yukito and studied him silently. Yuki had been slowly shedding his uniform and now sat in front of him clad in only a pair of boxers. A sheen of sweat covered him and his silvery hair clung to the sides of his face and his forehead. He reached forwards slowly and caressed his lover's cheek. He felt how hot it was and drew his hand back. "You're burning up.. did you catch a fever or something?" he asked concerned.

Amber eyes looked up to meet his own. "Not that I knew of.. " Yuki said as he closed his book and set it down with the others of his on the floor. Yukito then leaned forwards without warning to kiss him softly at first, on the lips while he placed his own book next to the other. He returned the kiss and smiled up at him.

Yukito smiled as Touya leaned his head back further baring his neck to him as he kissed a trail from his jaw downwards towards his collarbone. Reaching the collarbone he sat up slightly and allowed a small moan to escape as he felt their arousal's rub against each other from where he sat straddling Touya's hips. He felt the taller man beneath him arch slightly into the touch and he bent down to kiss his chest silently taking one of the nipples presented to him and nursing it. Hands ran through his hair and he both heard and felt the purr that began to come from Touya's throat and chest.

He lifted his face from the chest and kissed him once more on the lips, before kissing his way down the other side of his neck and down to the other neglected nipple. He felt the hands travel through his hair still and one hand left his hair to caress his back down his spine. He rose up again pressing them both against each other for a few moments, gaining a soft moan from Touya.

Sitting back up he glanced down at the man beneath him and returned the smile he found on the other's lips. He rested one of his fingers on those lips and closed his eyes in pleasure as they wrapped around his finger and began to suck on it slowly. Finally he drew his hand away and leaned down over him, claiming his lips again as his hand traveled down past their erections and against the small muscle he found. The arching motion Touya did against him pushed the finger slightly within the ring of muscle and he continued the kiss as he pushed it the rest of the way within him. With a remembered ease he found the certain spot within his partner and pushed against it. Touya gasped into his mouth and arched more onto his finger. He then withdrew the finger and broke off the kiss. Turning his attention to the neck before him as he moved himself to enter within the one below him.

Yukito leaned back slightly, moaning as he sheathed himself fully within him. The purr was back and stronger this time as he laid there still and silent for a second overwhelmed in that moment to even think of moving, letting both of them get used to the feelings being caused by the actions just taken. Once the feeling died slightly he began to move forwards thrusting into Touya and gasping harshly at the heat and the feeling of being within Touya. The pace was slow to for a moment, before picking up into a faster rhythm. He leaned forwards again placing small kisses and sharp nips against his beloved's jaw and throat as he moved. Touya arched back again some, his head leaning back into the pillow eyes closed, his breath slowly becoming ragged.

Touya's hand tightened a little on his hair and he increased the pace of the thrusts and then moved to sit halfway up supporting himself on his arms resting on either side of the man below. The other hand not in his hair traveled over his chest and caressed the nipples. He leaned his head back enjoying the sensations trying to pull him under and drown him.

After a moment he moved, slowly sitting up but not breaking off the rhythm he had created. His hands ran over Touya's sides and down to his hips, over them and then stroked the hard length he found. A gasp that became a moan came from Touya and he quickened the pace of the thrusts into him again. One hand remaining to caress the erection he took one of the smaller man's hips in his other hand as he thrusted harder into him. He opened his eyes when he felt a hand pressing against his chest, to look down at Touya. Touya was saying something, at first he couldn't understand it and then it was repeated. 'Raiu'

'*Raiu..*' He wanted him to stop? Just as he was about to fulfill the aching need that had held onto him throughout these last couple hours. How could he even consider asking that? How dare he ask such a thing! His hands and thrusts got harsher as his ire grew with the audacity of the command. Both of them were breathing hard and ragged now and he began to jerk the length in his hand faster almost matching the speed of his thrusts within him. He felt Touya's hands take a hold of his shoulders clenching and strangely still pushing him away. A harsh moan escaped his throat as he felt Touya begin to tighten around him.

A minute later he felt something wet cover his chest and hand and he leaned down and kissed Touya's neck, nipping it again as he continued thrusting for another minute. Then he was lost in the overwhelming pleasure that drowned him as he released into his partner.

When Yukito woke up he stretched slowly, and then reached out across the bed. When his hand and arm met empty air a small frown creased his features before he opened his eyes to take in the empty bed. He then noticed the slight stain on the sheets and sat up to put his glasses on and look at it again. His mind registered it then. It was blood. Dear God.. what happened? He tried to recall and then went ashen as the memory hit him hard.

Shaking, he backed away from the stain and fell off the bed onto his back, hitting the hard floor and as he tried to get his legs under him he dragged the top sheet off the bed and almost fell again as it became tangled in his legs. Finally he freed himself from the sheets in a sort of blind panic and then glanced around his room spotting two sets of clothing. Touya was still here, but where? He tried to calm himself and failed mostly as he headed towards the bathroom.

As he entered into the bathroom he gasped at what he saw. He retreated right away and gathered his clothes throwing them on not heeding the need for a bath for once. Shivering still, he left the bedroom and retreated to the living room to sit on the couch with his head in his hands.

Touya walked into the living room silently, his book-bag slung over one shoulder. He stopped a couple feet behind the couch when he saw him sitting there, his head in his hands. He sighed faintly, closing his eyes briefly before he finished the distance to the couch and stopped. "Yuki.. I.. think we both need some time to ourselves." he paused and silently chewed on his lower lip for a moment before continuing. "I'll see you in a couple days though.. if you need to talk."

The smaller form trembled silently and he sighed again softly as he slowly reached down to rest a hand on the bent back. The muscles below his hand flinched slightly at the contact. He withdrew his hand silently and then walked away from the couch towards the door, turning back to face the couch briefly. "I'm sorry." he whispered. He opened the door then and walked out shutting the door behind him.

Yukito woke up with a start, and sat up in the bed. His shirt clung to him, soaked in sweat and he almost missed the small movement by his window. He turned his head to scan the room silently and stopped when his eyes fell on a shadowed figure. Two feline-like eyes watched him just as silently, the moonlight reflecting off of them, making them seem to glow slightly. "I'm still dreaming." he said softly. The eyes disappeared for a second then reappeared. No answered followed other than the slow blink. "Why are you here?" he asked quietly towards the shadowed figure.

"I tried to halt the dream. I .. was.. unsuccessful in my attempts." the voice answered calmly. Yukito looked down at his hands laying against the blanket in his lap. The memories flashed again behind his eyes as he closed them briefly and a small sob escaped him. He heard the rustle of cloth and feathers as the angel moved from his shadowed corner to stand beside the bed, the moonlight making the wings glow and seem whiter somehow than they already were. He looked up into Yue's face as the angel looked down at him. For a moment, the cool look reined over the tall angel's face before the lavender eyes softened slightly and Yue lifted one slim hand to softly brush it against his forehead, smoothing the hair out of his face. He took it as a small comforting gesture and sighed softly as he relaxed slowly back against the headboard of his bed.

"Thank you for trying."

Yue blinked slowly again as if in answer and then turned to face towards the window, walking towards it silently, save for the rustle of his wings and robes. "Rest. I will attempt to wake you if you dream again." The voice was cool, but there was a touch of something warm hidden in it that made him give the moonlit guardian a small faint smile. He laid back down again and sighed softly once more before closing his eyes and falling back into darkness to try to once more obtain some rest.

Yue glanced back silently as he slept once more, his eyes concerned as they studied Yukito's pale strained features. Something had to give, and it would be soon. He would continue his vigil until Yukito truly awoke and then resume it once more when he tried to sleep again. 'This should not be happening. He should not have to feel this pain and suffer like he is..' he thought as he watched the slow rise and fall of his breathing.

Several hours later labored breathing reached his ears and he turned around to see that once more the nightmare had crept up on him on silent feet. He turned quickly crossing the small distance between him and the bed. Once he reached the bed though it was if he was moving through quicksand. Every movement seemed to take more effort and took twice as long to complete itself. He tried to calm his other self down, caressing the forehead and cheek with the back of his hand. That failing to gain any response, he tried to bring his powers to bear and once more found he could not for some unknown reason. It was beginning to get on his nerves that something was wrong here and he could not do anything about it. 'This should *not* be happening!' he seethed silently as he once more tried to awaken Yukito, the attempt failing like the rest.

He finally reached down and took one shoulder to shake him awake. Amber eyes opened slowly, filled with a mix of guilt, fear, shame, and strangely enough anger. Then the emotions faded away like the stars did at dawn to leave the golden eyes dull and listless. That pained him and he knelt without thinking to draw the smaller form into his arms to hold it against him silently. Yue heard a small soft contented sound and felt the body in his arms relax suddenly as Yukito fell back into exhausted slumber, but this time devoid of dreams or nightmares.

Yukito woke, his arms wrapped around his pillow, the blanket pulled up around his shoulders. He sighed softly as he slowly stretched, releasing the pillow and sitting up. He should get up, fix breakfast, finish his work, after all there was school tomorrow. Then reality came crashing down on him in a wave of inconsolable grief as he thought about seeing Touya. He would not be able to hide from him, since they shared a number of classes and in some even sat next to each other. He wrapped his arms around himself and laid back down on the bed, bringing his legs up to curl up slightly into a fetal position. As the hours passed, he finally fell back to sleep despite the sunlight pouring through the window. But there was no real escape from the pain in his mind or heart. The memory of that night haunted him awake or asleep.

Yue walked down the dark stretch of beach that was the only other thing besides the dark water in this dreamscape. He came to stand beside his other self and sighed softly. "You wanted to see me?" he asked quietly.

Yukito nodded and then looked up at him from where he sat on the sand. "Hai.. I wish to ask you something." he said quietly, his amber eyes red from crying.

"Anything I can do...just ask."

The eyes closed and then Yukito sighed softly. "I can't go back out there.. to collage, to face T.. To-ya again, as well as Sakura.. gods after what I did.. I couldn't face them and pretend it never happened.. I can't live with this anymore. I'm afraid if I do.. I might end up hurting them more." He shivered and pulled his legs up to his chest hugging himself. "I would of said before I could of never cause T.. T.....him harm. I would die before I did such a thing.. but I did. I hurt him.. I made him bleed.. I .. I.. " he buried his head against his knees with a muffled sob.

It hurt seeing him like this. This wasn't how it was suppose to happen.. Yue knelt beside him silently drawing him back into his arms and wrapping his wings around him. "Shh... Snow bunny...shhh...how can I help you?" he whispered softly as he held him close. The response was so soft and faint he almost didn't catch it.

"I want to disappear.. I was made.. so couldn't I be unmade? Cease to exist.. oblivion.. you could do that couldn't you?"

That hurt more than the sight of him crying did. In a sense he was being asked to basically kill his other self.. Could he even attempt such a thing and not harm himself, and ultimately his Mistress in the end? It would hurt her to lose Yukito... but Syaoran could help her through it he was sure.

But what about Touya.....

*Clow...*

Yue blinked away the sudden surprising tears in his own eyes. Would he be alright if his Yuki were to disappear like he had threatened to on that long ago eve? Could he...help him through it...would he even let him once he knew how Yukito had left? He sincerely hoped so.. because he found he couldn't refuse the shivering form in his arms.

Living with the memory of that horrid night, unable to make or let himself forget it, was hurting him so much that it would be mercy to give him his wish. He thought about how he could and then sighed softly shifting his grasp on Yukito's form to lift him up into his arms as he stood up. Slowly, he walked into the dark water beyond the beach. Continuing out into it until it rose to gently lap around both their chests. He held Yukito and then closed his eyes leaning down to kiss his forehead softly. As he straightened back up he slowly lowered both of them into the water, till his other self was submerged underneath it.

The hands that had been holding onto his arms tightened briefly once and then they were gone.. faded away like they had never been. He stood up straight and made his way back to the beach, shaking his wings out before folding them behind him. He stood there a moment more mourning his loss of part of himself and when he felt that he could leave without breaking down, he looked back silently at the dark ocean with red-rimmed feline eyes. "Rest in peace Snow bunny.." he whispered softly before leaving the dream.

Though Yue did not relish the task, he had one more thing to do before he left the house. After a few moments of concentration he had returned Touya's power to him and now attempted to support himself fully on both Sakura's power and that of the moon up in the night sky, half full. It worked and he let out a breath of relief he hadn't realized he had been holding.

Touya woke up in his room, he felt slightly uneasy for some reason as he stared up at the ceiling silently. He felt like something had happened and then realized immediately what it had been when he saw his mother standing in his doorway. He had his 'power' back.. but how? He had given it to Yue... he couldn't be supporting himself now from Sakura yet.. but maybe he was. He pulled his legs against his chest leaning his head against them.

A phrase went though his mind. It had been something Yue had told him once when he asked how old Sakura would have to be to be able to maintain both Him and Kerberos along with the cards. *When she has grown into an adult.. around 19 or thereabouts.. but until then it can't be done.. it takes a lot of energy to maintain Yukito...which she doesn't have at the moment.* Touya's head came up off his knees sharply and he flung himself out of his bed and began dressing very quickly. He flew into the living room to the door, stopping only once to slip on his shoes and hurry outside to his bike.

'Please be there when I get there.. please.. I don't want you to disappear..' he thought trying to keep the tears beginning to form in his eyes in check. They fell down his cheeks anyway as he quickly rode to Yuki's house. He leapt off the bike, not caring that it fell down onto its side, to race towards the door and knock firmly. "Yuki? Please if your home answer me.." he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

No answer.

Silently, fear and doubt coursed through him as he tried the handle of the door. Unlocked. He opened it and stepped inside, scanning the parts of the house he could see before turning and shutting the door. "Yuki?" he called out, praying that he was still alive and well.

Again.. No Answer.

Quickly he glanced in the kitchen, no one was in there. After searching the house over, he found no trace of Yuki and then he thought of something different. Yuki could be in town, getting supplies. He walked into the kitchen again and stared out at the yard outside. He would just wait for him to come home then, and set his fears to rest.

He wasn't sure how long he had stood there, but his attention was finally brought back by the sound of a footstep as well as a rustle of cloth. Turning he blinked and then looked over at the figure standing in front of him. Long silver white hair cascaded down over shoulders, down further till it touched the floor. A pair of large white wings rose up from behind the white and blue clad shoulders. "Yue..." he sighed with relief. If Yue was here that meant Yukito was still alive.. 'thank god..' he thought silently as he watched the angel.

A small faint frown graced Yue's lips for a moment. "Touya. Why are you here?" he asked, watching him with those lavender cat-like eyes.

Touya straightened up and gave a small shaky sigh. "When I woke up.. never mind. Why did you give my power back now? I thought you said you couldn't support yourself with Sakura until she was older."

Yue closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again looking away from the dark haired man. "I can now.. the reason I could not before was because I had to support two forms instead of one."

Touya was silent as he took this in and was about to ask him what he meant when he realized it himself. "Bring him back." he said softly.

Yue shook his head. "I can not."

Touya clenched his fists suddenly and locked his eyes onto the silted ones in front of him. "I said. Bring. Him. Back. Now."

Yue broke the eye contact and turned away slightly. "And I told you already that I can not do that."

"WHY?" he cried, walking over to stand in front of him again. "Why can't you bring Yukito back?"

"Because he wished to leave and now no longer exists. I have only my true form now to support, and if it were possible I would not have the power to do it, to create him again."

Touya hit Yue's chest with one fist. "Damn you...why did you let him go..?" His anger was rapidly turning into sorrow and fresh tears streamed down his cheeks. "Why.. gods.. what do I do now?" He hit the chest again, but the blows were light. He then felt Yue shift slightly and a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders, one hand holding the back of his head.

"It was the guilt that killed him, the guilt and the nightmares of that night twisted around the guilt. I tried to help.. but strangely I could not do anything to ease him.. I only could give him the oblivion he asked me for yesterday. " Yue whispered softly to him as he stroked his hair and held him. " It was not his fault for what happened, his actions were in a way forced by another hand." The arms loosened allowing him to draw back slightly to look up at him, eyes red from crying.

"Another hand?"

Yue nodded silently and then released him to point towards the counter under the kitchen window. Walking over to it, Touya saw the small needle and then turned to face him again. "How? Who.. ?" he tried to ask, but he couldn't form the question fully.

Yue saved him the trouble. "A drug that affected his mind and body. As for who.." Yue's eyes narrowed slightly. "You know her by the name Akizuki Nakuru, I believe."

Touya's eyes widened slightly and he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Closing it he looked down and then felt Yue take him in his arms again. "I'm sorry Touya.. I should of been watching over him better." Yue continued to hold him, until he finally lost all control and buried his face in Yue's shoulder and cried, a small whine escaping as he finally faced the fact that he was again alone. It seemed everyone he loved left him. Maybe he was cursed to spend his life alone, without a partner to be by his side. He felt a hand stroke his hair and he couldn't control the sudden wail that escaped.

Yue flinched slightly at the wail and felt it pierce his own heart. The grief and loss expressed by it came from the heart and he lowered his head against Touya's holding him, letting him grieve as they stood there in the darkening kitchen.

~Owari~