I don't own CardCaptor. Don't sue. I just love Yukito. I think Touya would sue, but if he sues, then he'd have to face me personally first… and then Yuki would have to accuse me of rape. Heh. I'm a small person but if Tou-ya comes within my area of vision, I'd pounce him so fast, I'd put Kurama or any youko to shame!

Won't post anymore until someone writes me. Just any honest opinion so I could improve it. Promise, I'd finish this.

Love ya!

Turin

Swan Song

I. Angel's Dream

His first memory was the brightest light you could imagine. It was brighter than the sun, but strangely enough, it wasn't blinding… in fact, this light had an almost physical presence. It rocked him, and embraced him so blissfully…

Yes, he was content… floating in this marvelous world.

"Hello!" a voice called to him.

He turned around. He saw a person, with long ebony hair and the most pleasant expression in his face.

"Hello!" he answered back, very happy to have some company. He found himself mirroring the man's smile. His vision shrunk since his eyes had almost narrowed until they were almost closing. But he didn't mind. Not at all…

"Do you feel fine?" the man asked in that deep velvety voice. What kind of question was that?

"Hai. I feel fine," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Good!" the man walked slowly towards him, cupping his face gently. His hands were soft. He liked it so much that he inclined his head slightly to the side and closed his eyes, the better to feel those hands. The man laughed, and whispered, "I could almost hear you purring…"

An image of a gigantic lion(?) with wings - is there such a thing? __ came to his mind. A fantasy, and he giggled. He held the man's hand in his. The man let him.

In this timeless world, they could stay this way forever…

But the man soon gently took back his warm hands. He started. It was like taking a comfortable blanket just when one was about to sleep…

"I've got to go…," the man said, smiling sadly.

"Iie, don't go…," he pleaded.

"I will be back…"

"Don't go, onegai?"

But the man was already vanishing to that same majestic light. He tried to go after him, but, all senses, all will was suddenly devoid from him. He was again sleeping in that womb of light, imagining everything to be a dream…

II. Remembrance

Yue woke up. At first, he was disoriented, wondering where he was. Then it all dawned on him. He was in his Master's bedroom. That red silk curtain fluttering lightly in the breeze, he could only be in Clow's bedroom.

"You're awake Yue?"

"Clow?" he was about to spring towards his master, flying gracefully towards his arms as he always did, eager for his soothing touch, like a pet(?) his mind asked. Like that nosy Kerberos/cat? But he banished that heresy immediately. Like a pet, yes, he didn't care. He'd beg for Clow's love any day.

Clow was already walking to his side. Yue found himself embraced in strong yet gentle hands. His master's hands were playing absent-mindedly with his silver hair, and his soft breath warming the join of his neck and shoulders.

Bliss. He smiled and savored the moment.

Outside, the autumn leaves were piling on the lawn.

Long ago, Clow had told him that he would be going in the autumn. They couldn't believe it, the cards, he and Kerberos, they wouldn't believe it. Clow, the most powerful magician? Going? As in, letting go of life?

It doesn't happen… no, not to near Gods like Clow, his Master, his Love…

But he saw signs of Clow's weakening each day. It was slow at first. The cards making mistakes until finally, not being able to do magic anymore. Clow gathered them all up, like dear children.

I love all of you… you are not just my creation, you are my life… he told them. And with a hug, and a kiss to all of them, he sent them to sleep in a book, giving them some magic, magic which he badly needed himself, and said goodbye.

Yue caught Clow when he fainted shortly after that. It would be something he would get used to in the coming months as Clow grew steadily weaker.

The perpetual spring spell was the next to go. That's why they are currently experiencing the autumn season now… Yue's first autumn. The trees shedding their leaves, going to sleep until the spring next year, when they will bloom a-new…

It would've been a beautiful sight…

I would go this autumn…

Kerberos soon followed. They found him asleep in the yard, his wings shedding feathers. They couldn't rouse him. There was too little sun to give him strength. And without Clow's magic to sustain him, he was vanishing.

So Clow put Kerberos in the book, too.

And he, Yue, was the last Creation with Clow…

I would go this autumn…

"Don't go, Clow, Onegai?" he whispered. And then he glimpsed the leaves again, gold and red and fiery orange, and he realized again that it's autumn, and the clock is ticking down on them…

"Take my life, Clow, please… I don't want to live without you…"

"I have already made provisions for you, Yue…" Clow smiled, weary lines marking his face. "I want you to live… that's my last request."

"No, Clow, no, I don't…" and then that nausea again, the pain the headache… it all assaulted him until he had no choice but clutch at Clow. Even though in pain himself, Clow lovingly held Yue until the spasms ended.

But when it ended, Yue knew that he was too weak to do anymore. Clow laid him back on the bed. Yue had no wings anymore. It had disappeared days ago…

Clow placed a tender kiss on his forehead, then, more gently, on his lips…

"You are my most precious and most beloved…"

"Clow…" Yue forced himself to grab a hold of Clow's sleeves. The magician smiled sadly and gently tried to loosen his grip. But he wouldn't let go. He felt, no, he knew, that if he'd let go, Clow would disappear. Yue's silver eyes filled with tears, and soon, they flowed uncontrollably down his cheeks.

The unknown was claiming him, he could feel that now. It slowly crept into his vision, but strangely enough, it wasn't darkness, or anything scary. In fact, it was the brightest light he had ever seen. It didn't make him afraid. It comforted him. Lulling him to let go, to rest, just for a while. He could almost put into words the light's promise: dear child, rest your weary head with me, and when you wake up, everything will be all right…

Yue's eyes closed. To rest, yes, he'd want that, but Clow, no, he couldn't leave him alone…

He tried opening his eyes. He succeeded, but barely. Through the fog of light he saw Clow for the last time. He was smiling, so gently, that gentle smile which he would remember forever. Then a thought dawned on him, he would also want Clow to remember him happy, not sad…

And so, through his tears, Yue tried to smile.

III. Angel's Awakening

"Oh!" He awoke with a start.

The man was back again!

Then he remembered that he was trying to stop him from disappearing. Disappearing? Maybe he was just dreaming. The man was here, still lovingly caressing his cheeks.

"Do you know who you are?" the man asked.

"Me? I'm me!" he answered. The man laughed, so he laughed, too.

"Yes," the man whispered dreamily, "you would do fine…"

"Where would I do fine?"

In his mind, he saw an old fashioned Japanese house. Slowly, the view expanded, until he saw the entire neighborhood. It was a quaint suburb, lots of trees, and nice people…

People…

All of a sudden, he felt that he was missing something in this world… something so important, not even the light's lullaby could soothe…

"Would you like to live here?"

He opened his eyes, and he was in the house! And what's more, he had the softest woolen turtleneck and sweaters and mittens! His heart beating wildly in excitement, he opened the sliding door, eager to see what was outside.

Snow.

It was early morning and sunlight was making diamonds out of ordinary snow.

"Yuki!" he exclaimed in delight. He knew what this beautiful stuff was, even though he had never seen it before, nor could have known of its existence. But in his innocence, he never questioned why, only accepted this as reality, the way things are supposed to be…

He looked at the beautiful houses around him, neighbors, the word popped into his head. Visit them, sometimes… get to know them…

"Is it beautiful?" the man asked from behind him.

"Beautiful? It's wonderful…" he whirled around and gave the man a hug. "Arigato… arigato gozaimasu!"

"Well then, would you like to live here?"

He didn't even have to think about it. Wholeheartedly, he said yes…

The man led him back to the house. He would've wanted to stay outside, see everything, but he obeyed just the same. The man led him to a room where a futon was laid. Then the man touched his forehead and he fell asleep.

Later that day, he woke up and the man was gone.

There was a note beside him. In cursive and elegant kanji, he read:

Dec. 25

My Dear,

I'm sorry I had to go so suddenly, without any goodbyes, but circumstances force me to do so. I would have loved to be with you more, make sure you are settled, still, I know you would be fine on your own.

I have made provisions for you. You will not need to want for anything ever in your life. And oh yes, before I forget, I've stocked your kitchen with good eats. Should be enough for a week, ne?

Merry Christmas, dear Child.

And that was all. He felt a slight twinge of sadness. He didn't get to say goodbye.

Again…

Again? What's that supposed to mean? He looked outside. The snow was falling again, delicate and beautiful. He loved it. Yuki, it's called in Japanese. Yes, he liked the sound of that name. Maybe he'd keep it. After all, the man left without even giving him a name… Yuki…

No, that's not my name, it's not what he gave me…

But the man had forgotten to give him a name! He tried to tell that small insistent voice in his head. He tried to believe that himself, but a part of him continued to nag: you had a name. You have a name. Remember! Remember!

But he couldn't. There was nothingness before the Light…

He liked the dainty sound of "Yuki". How it managed to sound so happy, even at the first syllable of the word. Yes, he'd love that happy sounding name.

He wrote Yuki on the note, below the last paragraph. As an afterthought, he added to, or "and" to silence that voice in his head. Maybe he'd add a second name in the future. It might be rare for a Japanese to have second names, but it's not illegal. He'd love a second name, or a third, even!

Yuki..to… Yukito!

To be continued

Jan-9-2003