Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Through Drunken Eyes ❯ Drinking All Your Sorrows Away ( Chapter 2 )

*~*~A.N: Hey! Thnx for those who reviewed!

shinimegami82: Thnx for reviewing and it's gonna be sad soon!

Kikakai: OMG! When I saw your email that fanfiction.net kicked you off, I was shocked! It's so unfair! But…thnx for reviewing!

#~#~#~#Through Drunken Eyes#~#~#~#

by: maixwolfblossom

--Chappie Two-

--Drinking Your Sorrows Away-

^*~^*~^*Disclaimer: I now own CCS…CCS…CCS…CCS…*wakes up* Aww c**p! It was a friggin' dream!^*~^*^*

~*~Syaoran's POV~*~

I know I know we got together under the weirdest circumstances.

By that time, she was seventeen and I was eighteen, our relationship grew from like to love.

I still remember reading one of her diary entries that I came across when I found her journal in my apartment.

It was her confession of her love for me. How scared she was to admit it, since I hadn't said anything. I still remember it well to this time…it's something that I had clung onto.

Dear Diary,

Today is nothing of the unusual, at least if you count Chiharu actually giving up on the bashing with Takashi's head for telling lies? Actually there is one thing I have for so long wondered and I think I am. I think I've fallen in love with Syaoran. He's sweet, kind, intelligent (yeah I still can't believe he likes math! *shudder*) caring, not to mention handsome. But most of all I love him for what he's done to keep me safe. It's so all of a sudden. My world crashed around me as I realized it in front of him as he gave me that white rose on our date that evening…I still have it pressed somewhere in my books and in my heart. But all I could do for now is say it in this precious book: I LOVE YOU, LI SYAORAN! *sigh* he'll never say those words back to me…never.

~Sakura

Yes, it was then I realized I've been holding in what I really felt for Sakura. I loved her and she was the first person I wanted to say those three little words to and possibly forever. But then again I lost her…

At the time, I started to drink and go to raves. Sakura, on the other hand, stayed the good girl I knew and loved. She was the one who would drive me home if I was too drunk and she would never sip a drop of liquor while we were at a party.

Sakura was a sensible person and it was that which made me love her more.

I guess I got to a point where I just couldn't stop consuming the intoxicating liquor that burned through my soul.

The plans of making me the heir to the Li millions sort of got to my head and the stress of what my family added to my pain, but she was always there while I washed away my sorrows into a bottle of liquor.

I'm not saying she just let me drown in my depressed state.

Sakura tried to stop me…she really tried. I just couldn't see the light of it all. Sometimes she would get to me and other times I'd just ignore and start drinking. To what it would result to and I deeply regretted it.

*~*Memory*~*

Sakura watched wearily as Syaoran grabbed a bottle of Vodka and took a shot glass out of the bar with him. Today he had found out that his father had died with a heart attack and he blamed himself.

"Syaoran-kun, don't do this. Your father wouldn't want you to drink. He wants his son to remember him, not ruin his life."

Syaoran coldly glared at Sakura and she felt a flinch involuntarily leave her body.

"Don't you start giving me a sermon, Sakura. If I hadn't given him a hard time and at least succeed the things he wanted me to, he would still be here. Taking care of all the business was all he wanted me to do and I didn't even bother to help him one bit."

He sat on his green couch as he stared at the vodka bottle, watching the light reflect off the only comfort he had besides Sakura, who was getting on his nerves for a very strange reason.

"You don't know how it feels to have someone you loved in your life die. You don't know the pain I've suffered."

Sakura's face fell. She knew the pain he was suffering. Why would she not know? She too lost someone she loved dearly even though she hardly knew her. That person, of course, was her mother.

Tears slowly welled up to her beautiful eyes, remembering the countless days she sorely wished to have both parents to soothe her problems away. To hold her when she was down, to kiss away her tears, to talk to her when she was in pain.

"Syaoran, I know what you suffer. Remember, my mother died when I was very young."

A spark of guilt poured into Syaoran's already dark heart. He had forgotten that Sakura never grew up with two parents like he had.

He watched Sakura's teary eyed face burn in sadness before putting down his shot glass and drawing her into his comforting arms.

"I'm sorry Sakura, I forgot."

I love her, why should I put her through more troubles tonight…

Syaoran glance turned from the bottle of liquor to Sakura.

"Let's get out of here and reminisce my-- our parents."

Sakura closed her eyes and said of what he thought was a silent prayer of thanks and smiled.

She hugged Syaoran and tugged him off the sofa. She'd do anything for him to stop going into his depression trips and what better way of doing that is to go out and have fun?

Though she felt secure that Syaoran was not going to ruin his morning with a hangover, she couldn't help but make him pledge that he wasn't going to do anything that would ruin his life.

"Syaoran, I love you…you know that right?"

His no longer cold eyes twinkled as he smiled warmly and kissed her gently, "I know you do…and I love you."

A grin appeared on her lips and she touched his cheek lightly.

"Promise me, you won't do anything stupid if I'm not around?"

Syaoran looked at her in total confusion when she lifted her pinky in front of them.

Sakura gave a determined look, "I'm serious."

He laughed and gave her a kiss on the forehead as he took her pinky in his.

"I promise."

*~*END*~*

That night was one of the times she talked me out of drinking. It sort of saved my shattered soul just to remember our parents.

So I went on for weeks, drowning myself with the taste of invigorating liquid in private and hiding it while I was with Sakura.

She soon began to think I've stopped and she was back to the old genki (energetic) girl I once knew.

I did feel guilt when she would ask me if I was holding up well and if I was getting through a day without any problem. I would answer casually, hoping that I would escape my lies away from her, trying to not shame her for believing that I could change.

But little as she knew when she goes home to the apartment where she lived in with Tomoyo, I went straight back home and drank in mourning for I didn't think I could live without one drop of that sweet tortured liquid that raged my problems away.

In other words, I kept an empty promise. A promise I should've kept. A promise that I chose to ignore and beaten myself a million times for overlooking it. A promise that I broke and hurt the person I loved.

Drinking that many times in one night does take a toll on me and sometimes Sakura became suspicious of what I was doing since I was always late for dates, appointments, and birthday parties. Sometimes I didn't even remember making plans with her but I always made an excuse for them.

I couldn't bring myself to tell her of my shame. Maybe at the time, I didn't think I was hurting Sakura.

*~*Memory*~*

Sakura was pacing around the sidewalk, waiting patiently for Syaoran. He was half an hour late for their date and it was getting colder and darker. She shivered as cars past by her, the chill setting onto her already frozen skin.

She looked around, her emerald orbs started to show a tinge of worry about the whereabouts of Syaoran.

Then they brightened up as she saw her one and only love emerge from the other side of the street. She ran into his arms as his warm smile penetrated her worries.

"Syaoran! You're okay! I was getting so concerned. I thought you weren't going to make it here."

Syaoran chuckled, "I overslept again. I guess I should stop watching late night television, ne?"

Sakura frowned and then hugged him tightly giggling a bit, "Hai (yeah), you should. Then we wouldn't be late for every reservation that we make!"

The unusual darkness of the evening surrounded them as they walked hand in hand to their destination.

Syaoran smiled at Sakura's angelic features. How she tried so hard to make his life better and she has…with the help of his little comfort sitting at home.

(A/N: Uh oh that can't be good.)

He hadn't really overslept. He had a horrible hangover that morning and couldn't get up for the whole day.

He didn't know what had happened, it came to a point where alcohol was the answer. His only comfort in the night even if he paid the price in the morning he'll always have a 'friend' to turn to.

Sakura mumbled, "Oh, Xiao Lang, I'm so happy that you've gotten over your horrible drinking habits…"

Those words went straight through my mind and out the other ear. I was still thinking of getting home, running back to that liquor cabinet to soak into the taste of my own world instead of living in the present time.

He absently kissed Sakura's temple and murmured a 'uh huh'.

Not even Sakura could get into his now addicted mind off to where his mind had floated off.

*~*MEMORY END*~*

Wished, I'd listen to Sakura that day maybe it would've saved our relationship? I don't know and now I can't ask for forgiveness…I don't know where she is!

I want to bring her back tell her that she'll always be inside my heart. She'll always claim a place in my heart.

I wish I could tell her she taught me true love, she taught me the pains, and the way of getting through them…wherever she is…

I know its wishful thinking that she'll run back into my arms like she once did.

My heart bleeds thinking of the way she left me…she left me and took my heart. I died seeing her leave my world. Some days I wanted to go and find her and I cry out in my dreams at times to take me to her…take me with her.

Because now I realized…

…I needed her…

(")(") (") _ (") ("\^.^/") (")(") (") _ (") ("\^.^/") (")(") (") _ (") ("\^.^/") (")(") (") _ (")

*~*~A/N: Hummm…I was kidding about being tragic…iono but this is all I got…maybe this fic will be five chappies? I still haven't decided!

See ya!

maixwolfblossom