Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Two Sides of the Moon ❯ Chapter 1
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Phoenix Hoshika 
Yue sorts his through his feelings...
Anime/Manga: Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.24.2003 | Updated On: 12.23.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.7K | Visits: 830 | Status: Work In Progress
Yue sorts his through his feelings...
Anime/Manga: Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.24.2003 | Updated On: 12.23.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.7K | Visits: 830 | Status: Work In Progress
++++READ FIRST++++
A/N: I do not advocate shounen-ai or the like and this little bit is only here to establish something. So if you feel you should not look at this any further be my guest. I don’t want anything I write affecting people negatively.
NOTE: So that I don't get anyone confused Touya, and Yuki are 16; Sakura, Tomoyo, Eriol, Mei Lin and Shyaoran are 14. Just thought that with all the drama going on leaving Sakura and friends at the age of ten would cause them to have premature deaths and I need them around for further fics. xoxo Phoenix Hoshika
++++++++++++++++++
Disclaimer: I am obviously not CLAMP and therefore do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. There is no profit except the joy of being a fan being made from this writing.
The Two Sides of the Moon
By: Phoenix Hoshika
Chapter One
It was a year ago that I became aware that I was not at all what I thought I was. It was a year ago that memories of my true identity came flooding in like a tidal wave. At first I thought that I was separate from the quiet persona that everyone knew as Yukito. After only a few days I knew that we were the same and that what came out in me as Yukito was there all along, but not something that I would allow myself to reveal to anyone willingly. Yue does not indulge in social activities such as sports; and Yue certainly does not become confused. Yet, just a week ago I did become somewhat confused.
In my false form as Yukito, Touya and I had skipped school. At first I refused such an idea, but Touya said since we were both good students it wouldn't matter if we skipped just once. Curious as to what he had planned for us I agreed to cut class that once. That day we left early with the excuse that we were going to soccer practice, but of course there was no soccer practice that day and as soon as we got near the park we dodged off into the bushes quickly changing out of our uniforms and into more causal clothes. Touya laughed at me the whole time telling me to relax, but I had never did anything so deceitful in my entire life, not even as Yue. Changing closes in the shrubbery of the park only made my feelings of guilt deepen.
“Now what,” I asked tying my shoelace. Touya looked at me then off to the side and shrugged.
“I don’t know.”
“Touya.” I said a little irritated.
“My father and Sakura should be clear of the house by 8:30 we can go back there have something to eat then figure out what to do from there.”
“Are you sure we won’t get caught?”
“You are just as uptight as Yue. Relax.” Touya sometimes made comments like that to remind me that he knew there really was no difference between my false form and me. Despite the fact that his little comments irritated me sometimes I just smiled.
Later at his house we went into his room and closed the door. For two hours we played video games, which I thoroughly whooped him in even though I didn’t really play that often. Touya seemed annoyed by this which he expressed through glaring at me from time to time, but smiled after our last game announcing he was bored. I turned off the game system and the TV. Touya sat on his bed and I leaned against the wall by the window.
“I’d be bored too if I couldn’t win a single game.” I said teasingly. All Touya had to say to this was;
“Shutup.” This amused me so I smiled leaning my head back to rest on the wall. Touya still sat on his bed except this time his head was lowered and he gave a sigh.
“Now what?” He asked looking at the floor.
“Touya, are you asking me?” I said nearly laughing. “This was all your idea you should plan things out next time.” I closed my eyes still smiling. The sunlight that peeked in through the closed shades felt good, though not has well as the light from a full moon. I could hear Touya chuckling at my remark then silence. This was a bad idea. Listening to Fujiyama Sensei drone on about ancient Japan would be more interesting than this. Why did Touya bring me back to his home instead of going some place more interesting like one of the shopping districts? There is always something interesting going on in those areas. Then a disturbing thought crossed my mind and when I opened my eyes Touya was standing in front of me with a serious expression.
“What?” I asked slightly surprised at his sudden change in mood.
“You know I care about you a lot…” He said slowly as he moved closer. Suddenly it became clear why he brought me here and where this conversation was going. I always thought the first and only person I would ever kiss would be someone else… My heart had jumped into my throat despite my calm appearance. Disregarding the feeling of apprehension I just nodded. Touya is the only friend I ever had and as such was very dear to me, so no matter what I swore that I would be there for him. Then when he saved my life I felt an even stronger obligation. I assumed the obligation I felt toward him is love and so I believed it made the situation alright…
“You’ve always been there for me. When the first woman I loved left me you were right there to help me through that hard time. It seemed like you were the answer to the void I felt inside and I started to think it didn’t matter, that perhaps our relationship could change and when you said you felt the same it seemed like the perfect solution…” Touya continued putting his hand on my shoulder. “…but now I know it was wrong to try to twist our friendship into something it was never meant to be. I’m sorry.”
I let out a heavy sigh of relief.
“Are you ok?” Touya asked stepping back a pace.
“I’m fine.” I say sliding down to the floor and putting my head between my legs.
“You’re not acting fine are you upset?”
“No.” There was complete silence for a moment. I could feel Touya’s eyes peering down at me.
“…Oh! I see. You were thinking that… Yare yare, what kind of guy do you think I am?
I couldn't take being in human form much longer; my face was so hot it felt like it would burn up. Standing I changed into my true form.
“Forgive?” I asked still too embarrassed to speak correctly.
“Yue, I gave you my power because I wanted to help you and because I knew you would protect Sakura. I only made you promise to do just that so you would understand why I did it. I don’t want you feeling like you owe me something. I rather have you as a friend than a slave, for my sake as well as Sakura’s.” Touya sat down on the bed with a troubled expression on his face. A few minutes past before I said anything.
“I am not angry with you.” I forced myself to say. Though I felt a bit of relief from his words I also felt pain and anger. How was I supposed to put meaning to the feelings I had for him other than those of a loyal slave? I didn't want to believe that all I felt toward him was nothing more than a deep obligation. Even though I was created by a human I could never bring myself to believe I was below them in any way, but was that all me and my brother were, more than animals, but still less than humans? Would I ever feel more than the obligation of servitude toward the people I called friends, especially my mistress Sakura, who called me her friend even though I fought against her authority?
As I thought about her I suddenly felt a peace and warmth inside that I had always, up until that point, suppressed and ignored. What was this I was feeling? Then I heard her voice in my mind “I love you!”. She had said this to me while I was Yukito, but I would not return her feelings. It was at that moment I finally fully realized how terrible I treated her and truly started to feel like scum. I even tried to convince Sakura out of her love for my false form Yukito, buy saying she was confused, that the romantic feelings she had for Yukito were actually akin to the love she felt for her father. No, the truth was I was the confused one.
“Oi, Yue. Are you asleep? Pull yourself together so we can hit the theme park across town.”
“Let’s go.” I said after returning to my barrowed form.
“I told Sakura I would walk her home today so we can’t be late to meet my sister at the park. She might get suspicious and I don’t want my father to find out that I skipped school.”
“Okay.” I said giving him one of my best smiles.
2:59 p.m.
Touya and I had arrived at the park about ten minutes early. I watched the children play on the penguin slide while Touya watched the street like a hawk for Sakura. "There he goes with that sister complex of his again." I thought laughing inside. I wonder if he will ever get over it?
"Oniichan!" I heard Sakura call out as she approaches. I turn around to greet her with a smile and;
"Konnichiwa, Sakurachan."
"Konnichiwa, Yukitosan."
"Konnichiwa, Kinomotosan, Tsukishirosan." Tomoyo said as she caught up to Sakura.
Touya just grunted.
"Konnichiwa, Tomoyochan." I said in an effort to dismiss Touya's rude greeting.
"Yuki, you want to come over our house for dinner?" Sakura invited cheerful as ever.
Touya put his hand on my shoulder and shook his head. "That will be no good."
"Why?" I ask feeling like it was going to lead to something bad.
"The monster is cooking dinner tonight. I don't think you should come unless you wanna be poisoned."
Sakura turned red. "I am not a monster and I know how to cook!" Sakura kicked Touya in the shin of his left leg, who then wrenches in pain. I pretended not to see anything as usual and just smiled. It wasn't like he didn't have it coming. Sakura is cute, why must he always tease her so harshly? Sakura was flustered as she tried to regain control of herself before she spoke again.
"For dessert I'm making strawberry shortcake."
"I am sure it will be good." I said.
"Sakurachan makes the best strawberry shortcakes." Tomoyo blushes as she adds; "Sakurachan is very good at everything." As soon has she finished speaking a black limo suddenly pulled up to the curb and a woman dressed in black wearing sunglasses stepped out the car and opening the back passenger door of the car. Tomoyo's mother stepped out the car and wrapping her arms around her daughter.
"Tomoyochan, I got off work early and thought that we should spend some time together at the mall."
"Okay." Tomoyo said as she turned to say her goodbyes. "You don't mind do you Sakurachan?" Sakura cheerful shook her head in response and Tomoyo stepped into the limo. As it pulled off I noticed that I was not the only one still staring at the large car as it drove away.
When we arrived at the Kinomoto residence Sakura rushed for the mail. A squeal escaped her lips as she ran into the kitchen where me and Touya were.
"Mei Lin and Shyaoran wrote me!"
As soon as she said his name Touya's expression turned dark. "Why does that brat keep sending letters to Sakura." He muttered to me. I just smiled. I don't particularly care for Shyaoran either, but what can I say? Apparently Sakura likes him and that's what matters right? Besides he is a good person, though a little uptight, but who am I to talk about someone else being uptight? I pride myself on being the King of uptight. Shyaoran has nothing on me, so as I stated before; who am I to call someone else uptight?
"I'm so glad to hear they are doing ok." Sakura continued as she finished reading the letters.
Touya nudges me in the ribs to get my attention. "Let's go into the living room and watch TV. The monster probably will take a while to make dinner."
"I heard that!" Sakura said looking rather peeved. I just shook my head. Touya really does have a funny way of showing Sakura that he loves her.
A little more than twenty minutes passed. Me and Touya were watching a show on TV called Dragon something and nothing worth mentioning had happened. I thought they were going to fight, but all they did was just stand around talking about fighting. It was a pointless show and I was getting irritated.
"I'm going to help Sakurasan." I said cheerily even though I was ready to kick a hole in the TV. Touya just grunted. I couldn't believe he was really watching that nonesense. Walking into the kitchen I could see Sakura standing over a pot stirring its contents.
"Can I help?"
"Hoee!" Sakura was surprised and almost fell over.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's okay, and you don't have to help me."
"Don't worry about it, I want to." I said washing my hands. "I really do. If you don't allow me to help prepare dinner I'll have to go back in there with Touya and watch Dragon dolts and if I have to stare at one more minute of that I am going to loose my mind." I thought keeping my calm composure.
"Really?" Thank you very much. Uh, just stir this for me." Sakura said indicating the pot she was standing over.
"I'll help too." Touya said walking into the kitchen. He went to immediately chop up some vegetables.
During dinner Sakura started to tell us about her day she seemed so happy and full of energy as she talked. I was sitting beside Touya eating slowly as not to make a pig of myself as I had done many times before.
"Monster, if you keep talking your food will get cold." As soon as Touya said that there was a look of pain on his face and Sakura was giving him a death stare. When she noticed I was looking at her she quickly regained her composure.
"So, Yukitosan, how did soccer practice go this morning?" Why did she have to ask that question? I panicked no knowing what to say? I could have said it went fine, but that would have been too easy. Instead I just started giggling like an idiot. Sakura was giving me one of those "what is that about?" looks.
"It went fine." Touya said gruffly.
"Time for shortcake." Sakura announced leaving the table. As soon as her back was turned Touya smacked me in the back of the head.
"Baka." Touya whispered.
"Hey." I said aggravated.
"You almost gave us away. Why are you being like this?"
I just sighed. "Trying to carry two separate personas can be tiring. I guess my brain decided to skip out on me today. Get a grip." I thought berating myself mentally.
"Here." Sakura said handing me and Touya each a plate with a piece of cake on them. "How is it?" She asked as soon as we each took a bite.
"It tastes great." I said.
"Really?"
"Un," Touya grunted in agreement. The first nice thing he said to her all day I believe.
"I'm glad." Sakura said smiling sweetly.
As soon as I finished the cake I thanked Sakura for the meal and went home. The house was empty as usual. So I changed into my true form and walked to the window where the moon shined in brightly. It felt good to stand there in the moonlight. I closed my eyes and remembered Clow.
It was late at night and the moon was full. I was out in the garden staring up at it. The night was cool, but it didn't bother me. I heard the rustling of leaves behind me then Clow spoke up.
"There you are child. Wouldn't you like to rest now?"
I just shook my head.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" He said looking up at the sky and then yawned.
"You're tired, you should rest."
"I'm fine, Yue. My time with you and Keroberos is short so I rather spend it with you two children before I am gone." That's all he said. He stood there with me all night and when the sun came up he sat out in the cool weather with Keroberos chatting until the sun went down. I never talk much not even as Yukito. Quiet is just fine with me so I never joined their conversations. Clow was dear to me like a father, but I never told him that, even so I believe he may have known. Despite that hope I still regret that I didn't say anything. I remember when he told us he would be leaving soon and I vowed not to allow anyone else to become my master.
When it was time for the final judgment I was hard on them. Shyaoran Li was Clow's descendant, but that was not good enough. He wasn't even as powerful as Clow, so I got rid of him quickly. Then it was Sakura's turn to try to defeat me she wouldn't even fight. Not even when I tried to force her. I felt sympathy for her peaceful soul, but I had to keep my promise to Clow Reed. If she wanted to be my master she would have to defeat me. At her low power level I didn't think she would last so long, but she did. Even after I thought I had beaten her she was able to come back with the power to use the cards under my control to capture me. It was then that that I realized that I had no choice but to serve her and break my promise to Clow. Then she said something that no one had ever said to me before, something I was not expecting. She said she did not want to be my master and that she wanted to be my friend. She said she loved Keroberos and that she was sure that she already loved me too. I believed her and understood why Keroberos believed in her; it was because of her big heart.
Then I started thinking about how she felt for my false form, Yukito. And what I told her when she told me that she was in love with me. She must have been very sad when I rejected her, even more so because of the way I rejected her. How could I try to convince her into believing the nature of her love for me was not what she thought? It is a good thing that Shyaoran was there for her, but I could have been more honest with her and just have told her from the beginning that I thought I was in love with Touya. It took her asking for me to admit to that. Now that I know now the strong love I felt for Touya was not romantic I feel worse remembering that day. Why did it have to take a whole year for me to figure it out? I felt rotten, like a complete bastard for what I said to Sakura for making her sad and then not having the courage to ask her to forgive me. I feel even more regret now that Sakura has Shyaoran who writes to her everyday. She is happy. So why am I feeling this way? Is it because when I rejected her I also rejected how I felt toward her as well?
To be continued.....
A/N: I do not advocate shounen-ai or the like and this little bit is only here to establish something. So if you feel you should not look at this any further be my guest. I don’t want anything I write affecting people negatively.
NOTE: So that I don't get anyone confused Touya, and Yuki are 16; Sakura, Tomoyo, Eriol, Mei Lin and Shyaoran are 14. Just thought that with all the drama going on leaving Sakura and friends at the age of ten would cause them to have premature deaths and I need them around for further fics. xoxo Phoenix Hoshika
++++++++++++++++++
Disclaimer: I am obviously not CLAMP and therefore do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. There is no profit except the joy of being a fan being made from this writing.
The Two Sides of the Moon
By: Phoenix Hoshika
Chapter One
It was a year ago that I became aware that I was not at all what I thought I was. It was a year ago that memories of my true identity came flooding in like a tidal wave. At first I thought that I was separate from the quiet persona that everyone knew as Yukito. After only a few days I knew that we were the same and that what came out in me as Yukito was there all along, but not something that I would allow myself to reveal to anyone willingly. Yue does not indulge in social activities such as sports; and Yue certainly does not become confused. Yet, just a week ago I did become somewhat confused.
In my false form as Yukito, Touya and I had skipped school. At first I refused such an idea, but Touya said since we were both good students it wouldn't matter if we skipped just once. Curious as to what he had planned for us I agreed to cut class that once. That day we left early with the excuse that we were going to soccer practice, but of course there was no soccer practice that day and as soon as we got near the park we dodged off into the bushes quickly changing out of our uniforms and into more causal clothes. Touya laughed at me the whole time telling me to relax, but I had never did anything so deceitful in my entire life, not even as Yue. Changing closes in the shrubbery of the park only made my feelings of guilt deepen.
“Now what,” I asked tying my shoelace. Touya looked at me then off to the side and shrugged.
“I don’t know.”
“Touya.” I said a little irritated.
“My father and Sakura should be clear of the house by 8:30 we can go back there have something to eat then figure out what to do from there.”
“Are you sure we won’t get caught?”
“You are just as uptight as Yue. Relax.” Touya sometimes made comments like that to remind me that he knew there really was no difference between my false form and me. Despite the fact that his little comments irritated me sometimes I just smiled.
Later at his house we went into his room and closed the door. For two hours we played video games, which I thoroughly whooped him in even though I didn’t really play that often. Touya seemed annoyed by this which he expressed through glaring at me from time to time, but smiled after our last game announcing he was bored. I turned off the game system and the TV. Touya sat on his bed and I leaned against the wall by the window.
“I’d be bored too if I couldn’t win a single game.” I said teasingly. All Touya had to say to this was;
“Shutup.” This amused me so I smiled leaning my head back to rest on the wall. Touya still sat on his bed except this time his head was lowered and he gave a sigh.
“Now what?” He asked looking at the floor.
“Touya, are you asking me?” I said nearly laughing. “This was all your idea you should plan things out next time.” I closed my eyes still smiling. The sunlight that peeked in through the closed shades felt good, though not has well as the light from a full moon. I could hear Touya chuckling at my remark then silence. This was a bad idea. Listening to Fujiyama Sensei drone on about ancient Japan would be more interesting than this. Why did Touya bring me back to his home instead of going some place more interesting like one of the shopping districts? There is always something interesting going on in those areas. Then a disturbing thought crossed my mind and when I opened my eyes Touya was standing in front of me with a serious expression.
“What?” I asked slightly surprised at his sudden change in mood.
“You know I care about you a lot…” He said slowly as he moved closer. Suddenly it became clear why he brought me here and where this conversation was going. I always thought the first and only person I would ever kiss would be someone else… My heart had jumped into my throat despite my calm appearance. Disregarding the feeling of apprehension I just nodded. Touya is the only friend I ever had and as such was very dear to me, so no matter what I swore that I would be there for him. Then when he saved my life I felt an even stronger obligation. I assumed the obligation I felt toward him is love and so I believed it made the situation alright…
“You’ve always been there for me. When the first woman I loved left me you were right there to help me through that hard time. It seemed like you were the answer to the void I felt inside and I started to think it didn’t matter, that perhaps our relationship could change and when you said you felt the same it seemed like the perfect solution…” Touya continued putting his hand on my shoulder. “…but now I know it was wrong to try to twist our friendship into something it was never meant to be. I’m sorry.”
I let out a heavy sigh of relief.
“Are you ok?” Touya asked stepping back a pace.
“I’m fine.” I say sliding down to the floor and putting my head between my legs.
“You’re not acting fine are you upset?”
“No.” There was complete silence for a moment. I could feel Touya’s eyes peering down at me.
“…Oh! I see. You were thinking that… Yare yare, what kind of guy do you think I am?
I couldn't take being in human form much longer; my face was so hot it felt like it would burn up. Standing I changed into my true form.
“Forgive?” I asked still too embarrassed to speak correctly.
“Yue, I gave you my power because I wanted to help you and because I knew you would protect Sakura. I only made you promise to do just that so you would understand why I did it. I don’t want you feeling like you owe me something. I rather have you as a friend than a slave, for my sake as well as Sakura’s.” Touya sat down on the bed with a troubled expression on his face. A few minutes past before I said anything.
“I am not angry with you.” I forced myself to say. Though I felt a bit of relief from his words I also felt pain and anger. How was I supposed to put meaning to the feelings I had for him other than those of a loyal slave? I didn't want to believe that all I felt toward him was nothing more than a deep obligation. Even though I was created by a human I could never bring myself to believe I was below them in any way, but was that all me and my brother were, more than animals, but still less than humans? Would I ever feel more than the obligation of servitude toward the people I called friends, especially my mistress Sakura, who called me her friend even though I fought against her authority?
As I thought about her I suddenly felt a peace and warmth inside that I had always, up until that point, suppressed and ignored. What was this I was feeling? Then I heard her voice in my mind “I love you!”. She had said this to me while I was Yukito, but I would not return her feelings. It was at that moment I finally fully realized how terrible I treated her and truly started to feel like scum. I even tried to convince Sakura out of her love for my false form Yukito, buy saying she was confused, that the romantic feelings she had for Yukito were actually akin to the love she felt for her father. No, the truth was I was the confused one.
“Oi, Yue. Are you asleep? Pull yourself together so we can hit the theme park across town.”
“Let’s go.” I said after returning to my barrowed form.
“I told Sakura I would walk her home today so we can’t be late to meet my sister at the park. She might get suspicious and I don’t want my father to find out that I skipped school.”
“Okay.” I said giving him one of my best smiles.
2:59 p.m.
Touya and I had arrived at the park about ten minutes early. I watched the children play on the penguin slide while Touya watched the street like a hawk for Sakura. "There he goes with that sister complex of his again." I thought laughing inside. I wonder if he will ever get over it?
"Oniichan!" I heard Sakura call out as she approaches. I turn around to greet her with a smile and;
"Konnichiwa, Sakurachan."
"Konnichiwa, Yukitosan."
"Konnichiwa, Kinomotosan, Tsukishirosan." Tomoyo said as she caught up to Sakura.
Touya just grunted.
"Konnichiwa, Tomoyochan." I said in an effort to dismiss Touya's rude greeting.
"Yuki, you want to come over our house for dinner?" Sakura invited cheerful as ever.
Touya put his hand on my shoulder and shook his head. "That will be no good."
"Why?" I ask feeling like it was going to lead to something bad.
"The monster is cooking dinner tonight. I don't think you should come unless you wanna be poisoned."
Sakura turned red. "I am not a monster and I know how to cook!" Sakura kicked Touya in the shin of his left leg, who then wrenches in pain. I pretended not to see anything as usual and just smiled. It wasn't like he didn't have it coming. Sakura is cute, why must he always tease her so harshly? Sakura was flustered as she tried to regain control of herself before she spoke again.
"For dessert I'm making strawberry shortcake."
"I am sure it will be good." I said.
"Sakurachan makes the best strawberry shortcakes." Tomoyo blushes as she adds; "Sakurachan is very good at everything." As soon has she finished speaking a black limo suddenly pulled up to the curb and a woman dressed in black wearing sunglasses stepped out the car and opening the back passenger door of the car. Tomoyo's mother stepped out the car and wrapping her arms around her daughter.
"Tomoyochan, I got off work early and thought that we should spend some time together at the mall."
"Okay." Tomoyo said as she turned to say her goodbyes. "You don't mind do you Sakurachan?" Sakura cheerful shook her head in response and Tomoyo stepped into the limo. As it pulled off I noticed that I was not the only one still staring at the large car as it drove away.
When we arrived at the Kinomoto residence Sakura rushed for the mail. A squeal escaped her lips as she ran into the kitchen where me and Touya were.
"Mei Lin and Shyaoran wrote me!"
As soon as she said his name Touya's expression turned dark. "Why does that brat keep sending letters to Sakura." He muttered to me. I just smiled. I don't particularly care for Shyaoran either, but what can I say? Apparently Sakura likes him and that's what matters right? Besides he is a good person, though a little uptight, but who am I to talk about someone else being uptight? I pride myself on being the King of uptight. Shyaoran has nothing on me, so as I stated before; who am I to call someone else uptight?
"I'm so glad to hear they are doing ok." Sakura continued as she finished reading the letters.
Touya nudges me in the ribs to get my attention. "Let's go into the living room and watch TV. The monster probably will take a while to make dinner."
"I heard that!" Sakura said looking rather peeved. I just shook my head. Touya really does have a funny way of showing Sakura that he loves her.
A little more than twenty minutes passed. Me and Touya were watching a show on TV called Dragon something and nothing worth mentioning had happened. I thought they were going to fight, but all they did was just stand around talking about fighting. It was a pointless show and I was getting irritated.
"I'm going to help Sakurasan." I said cheerily even though I was ready to kick a hole in the TV. Touya just grunted. I couldn't believe he was really watching that nonesense. Walking into the kitchen I could see Sakura standing over a pot stirring its contents.
"Can I help?"
"Hoee!" Sakura was surprised and almost fell over.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's okay, and you don't have to help me."
"Don't worry about it, I want to." I said washing my hands. "I really do. If you don't allow me to help prepare dinner I'll have to go back in there with Touya and watch Dragon dolts and if I have to stare at one more minute of that I am going to loose my mind." I thought keeping my calm composure.
"Really?" Thank you very much. Uh, just stir this for me." Sakura said indicating the pot she was standing over.
"I'll help too." Touya said walking into the kitchen. He went to immediately chop up some vegetables.
During dinner Sakura started to tell us about her day she seemed so happy and full of energy as she talked. I was sitting beside Touya eating slowly as not to make a pig of myself as I had done many times before.
"Monster, if you keep talking your food will get cold." As soon as Touya said that there was a look of pain on his face and Sakura was giving him a death stare. When she noticed I was looking at her she quickly regained her composure.
"So, Yukitosan, how did soccer practice go this morning?" Why did she have to ask that question? I panicked no knowing what to say? I could have said it went fine, but that would have been too easy. Instead I just started giggling like an idiot. Sakura was giving me one of those "what is that about?" looks.
"It went fine." Touya said gruffly.
"Time for shortcake." Sakura announced leaving the table. As soon as her back was turned Touya smacked me in the back of the head.
"Baka." Touya whispered.
"Hey." I said aggravated.
"You almost gave us away. Why are you being like this?"
I just sighed. "Trying to carry two separate personas can be tiring. I guess my brain decided to skip out on me today. Get a grip." I thought berating myself mentally.
"Here." Sakura said handing me and Touya each a plate with a piece of cake on them. "How is it?" She asked as soon as we each took a bite.
"It tastes great." I said.
"Really?"
"Un," Touya grunted in agreement. The first nice thing he said to her all day I believe.
"I'm glad." Sakura said smiling sweetly.
As soon as I finished the cake I thanked Sakura for the meal and went home. The house was empty as usual. So I changed into my true form and walked to the window where the moon shined in brightly. It felt good to stand there in the moonlight. I closed my eyes and remembered Clow.
It was late at night and the moon was full. I was out in the garden staring up at it. The night was cool, but it didn't bother me. I heard the rustling of leaves behind me then Clow spoke up.
"There you are child. Wouldn't you like to rest now?"
I just shook my head.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" He said looking up at the sky and then yawned.
"You're tired, you should rest."
"I'm fine, Yue. My time with you and Keroberos is short so I rather spend it with you two children before I am gone." That's all he said. He stood there with me all night and when the sun came up he sat out in the cool weather with Keroberos chatting until the sun went down. I never talk much not even as Yukito. Quiet is just fine with me so I never joined their conversations. Clow was dear to me like a father, but I never told him that, even so I believe he may have known. Despite that hope I still regret that I didn't say anything. I remember when he told us he would be leaving soon and I vowed not to allow anyone else to become my master.
When it was time for the final judgment I was hard on them. Shyaoran Li was Clow's descendant, but that was not good enough. He wasn't even as powerful as Clow, so I got rid of him quickly. Then it was Sakura's turn to try to defeat me she wouldn't even fight. Not even when I tried to force her. I felt sympathy for her peaceful soul, but I had to keep my promise to Clow Reed. If she wanted to be my master she would have to defeat me. At her low power level I didn't think she would last so long, but she did. Even after I thought I had beaten her she was able to come back with the power to use the cards under my control to capture me. It was then that that I realized that I had no choice but to serve her and break my promise to Clow. Then she said something that no one had ever said to me before, something I was not expecting. She said she did not want to be my master and that she wanted to be my friend. She said she loved Keroberos and that she was sure that she already loved me too. I believed her and understood why Keroberos believed in her; it was because of her big heart.
Then I started thinking about how she felt for my false form, Yukito. And what I told her when she told me that she was in love with me. She must have been very sad when I rejected her, even more so because of the way I rejected her. How could I try to convince her into believing the nature of her love for me was not what she thought? It is a good thing that Shyaoran was there for her, but I could have been more honest with her and just have told her from the beginning that I thought I was in love with Touya. It took her asking for me to admit to that. Now that I know now the strong love I felt for Touya was not romantic I feel worse remembering that day. Why did it have to take a whole year for me to figure it out? I felt rotten, like a complete bastard for what I said to Sakura for making her sad and then not having the courage to ask her to forgive me. I feel even more regret now that Sakura has Shyaoran who writes to her everyday. She is happy. So why am I feeling this way? Is it because when I rejected her I also rejected how I felt toward her as well?
To be continued.....