Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Watching Over Us ❯ Chapter 1

Watching over us

 

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, never had and never will…

 

Note: “Talking” Flashback

 

It's been seven years, since I fitted that ring through your finger in our wedding night. It's been five years, since our daughter was born. It's been three years, since you left me.

 

Sigh.

 

Do you remember our first kiss?

 

I was walking down the lane of your street, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. My prayers were answered when I saw your honey locks flying behind you. My heart skipped a beat when I saw your beautiful smile. The smile stretched when you noticed me. That smile. It was for me, right? I never saw you smile like that to anyone else.

 

You marched towards me and said, “Syaoran, I was just looking for you. Wow what a coincidence!” looking for me? I wonder for why.

 

I smiled at you and said, “what for?”

 

Your grin widened more, but you didn't say something. You hooked your arms in mine and dragged me with you. I just tagged along with you, oblivious to your thoughts. Anything to be close to you.

 

“You know, it's Eriol and Tomoyo's first anniversary. So I was planning to make a surprise party for them. What do you think?” you looked at me with your striking emerald eyes. Though, all these years, your eyes never failed to amaze me.

 

“I think it's a good idea, but what do you want for me?”

 

“You're helping me Syaoran!” you said like it was the most obvious thing. I chuckled softly at you. Parties and stuff wasn't my thing, but helping you is something I am willing to do.

 

We walked through the mall, buying this, buying that; the list never ended. I watched you walking around, pointing at things, smiling at things and wrinkling your nose at other things. You looked like a butterfly. I wondered what it would feel like if I hold you close to me. Close to my heart. Oh, how I wish to do that.

 

You saw something that caught your eyes. You sprinted towards me and said, “Syaoran, come and see this.” You were so happy; you looked like a child who got his Christmas present. I didn't budge. You looked at me and stopped. I guess you saw something in my eyes that made you freeze.

 

What was it that you saw? Desire? Lust…Love?

 

You slowly release your hold on me and looked at me in the eyes. I sucked in some breath as I leaned on you. I was waiting for you to push me away, but you didn't. My lips were millimetres away from yours. That was your last chance to push me away, again, you didn't. I took the risk and pressed my lips on your soft ones.

 

In that kiss, I poured all my passion and emotions in you. I nearly pulled back in shock when I realised you were kissing me back-with equal passion. After we lost our breath we pulled back, both of us slightly breathless. I looked at you. You had your eyes closed and a smile was playing on your swollen lips. You opened your eyes slowly and look at me closely. I was un ease for a second, but your wide grin wiped all these uneasiness.

 

I pulled you in a hug and you hugged me back. That was the prettiest thing that ever happened back then. We stayed like that-God knows how long-and didn't care about the people passing by around us.

 

Why Sakura? Why did you let that happened? Why did you go? You left me with a kid. All alone. I thought you're stronger than that, I thought you won't give up for our sake, I thought…..Sigh.

 

“Daddy?” called a little five year old girl. She had chocolate coloured locks and emerald eyes-just like yours Sakura. Do you know who she is? She's our daughter and she's a spitting image of you. A daughter that you never spent enough time with. A daughter that you left without a mother to take care for her, love her, be there with her.

 

“Hey.” I swept Kyra up in my arms and kissed her head. “How are you?”

 

“I'm fine daddy.” She answered me in a sweet voice. I can't help but remember you. She reminds me a lot about you.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

“Yes daddy.” She smiled her cheeky smile. “Are you?” she pointed her little finger at my chest.

 

“As a matter of fact, I was, ten minutes ago.” I gave her a big smile. “You, princess Kyra, took a lot of time dressing up.” I said to her, poking her ribs lightly. She giggled. “Oooooh, little Kyra is ticklish.”

 

“No I am not,” said Kyra, shaking her head.

 

“Yes you are.” I said, nodding my head wolfishly.

 

“No I am not,” said Kyra defensively. She crossed her arms and puffed up her round pink cheeks. I chuckled wholeheartedly.

 

“I am going to check that then.” I said in a light hearted voice. I tickled Kyra at her sides and ribs with one hand and held her with the other. Sakura, if you just hear her laugh. It was the best thing about her. She inherited it from you. Kyra was cracking up begging me to stop. Eventually, I stopped and looked at her in mischief. “Now, what was that about?” I asked her, raising an eyebrow.

 

Kyra kept on giggling and squirming around. “Nothing,” she said in an innocent voice.

 

“Would you like me to check that again?” I asked, already lifting my free hand at her.

 

“Noo.” She frowned at me, and I laughed. “Meanie.” She pouted. Something moved in me and I hugged her to me. Close to me. I don't know what I will do if the same thing happens to her. I don't want her to leave me-like you. She's all I have now. All I have.

 

“Daddy?” mumbled Kyra against my chest.

 

“Yes sweetie,” I answered, stroking her hair.

 

“Where are going?” she pulled back and looked at me.

 

“To see mummy.”

 

“…now I announce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Upon hearing the priest's words, I turned my head toward you. You looked so beautiful in that white wedding dress and I bet Tomoyo designed that. You were looking down, a soft blush was covering your already rosy cheeks-God you looked so cute.

 

I raised your chin, so I can look at your emerald orbs. I smiled at you, before leaning in and kissed your soft lips. It was sensational. We pulled back and looked at the cheering crowd behind us. I looked back at you and kissed your head. It was the best night ever. You were mine and I was yours.

 

I took Kyra to my car and we rode in silence. I glanced at my rare view mirror. I looked dead. Lifeless. With out you in my life, Sakura, I was useless. I want you back, yet I know it's impossible.

 

“Daddy?” said Kyra from the back seat.

 

“Yes sweetie.”

 

“Is mommy going to be there?” That question made my heart squeeze in pain. It stings a lot that Kyra won't see you again. It pained me to know that Kyra won't have a mother anymore.

 

“Yes sweetie, she will be there.”

 

“Sakura?” I called your name, when he entered the house. I kicked the door close behind me and called for you again.

 

“In the kitchen.” Came your unmistakingly soft voice. I followed the voice and walked up to you. “Hey honey, how was work?” you asked me, cutting tomatoes for lunch. You had your back to me

 

I wrapped my arms around your waist. I pulled you close to me and kissed her neck lovingly. “Hmmm…tiring…couldn't wait…to go home…” I said between kisses.

 

You relaxed a bit but you tried pushing me away with your elbows. “Syaoran…not now. I am making lunch.”

 

“Can't you leave it for a minute…?” I whispered huskily against your ear.

 

You shivered involuntary and it made me smile, but you didn't give in. “I can't…it's late already. I have to make lunch.”

 

I frowned slightly and withdrawn his arms away from your tempting waste. An idea crossed my head and smiled secretly. You let out a loud yelp when I swept you in to my arms in a bridal style.

 

“Syaoran!” you scowled at me. “Put me down!”

 

“Nuh uh.” I shook my head, but you continued to squeal and squirm. I put the fire off and carried you to our bedroom. You buried your face in my chest and guessed that you gave up. I opened the door to our bedroom and I sat you on the bed. You looked up at me in an expression between frown and awe. I chuckled softly, and pulled you to me. I kissed your neck to your jaw line to your cheeks and down on your lips.

 

You kissed me back, circling your hands around my neck. “Sakura…” I said, against your lips.

 

“What…?”

 

“Do you know that car, with the two seats and open top you wanted me to buy?” I asked you.

 

“Yeah?” you looked at me curiously, stroking my hair tenderly.

 

“It's sitting outside. Right now.”

 

You smiled wildly, before you say, “Well, you better return it back and by a normal four seated car.” I looked at you confusingly, before you said, “Three won't fit in that car.” And you looked down.

 

My confusion grew. I didn't know what you were talking about. I watched you as you positioned your soft hands on your stomach, smiling up at me. I still didn't get it before the realization hit me hard.

 

“You're…you're pregnant?” I gaped at her.

 

A blush settled on your cheek and nodded, looking at me with hint of anxiety in your eyes. I was gob smacked, happy, shocked, and quiet at the same time. Hesitantly, I brought my own hand and pressed against your hands on your stomach. You took your hands from underneath mine and held my hand against your stomach.

 

I smile broke in my face and I looked at you optimistically. You smiled back at me and said, “your going to be a father, Syaoran. We're going to be parents.” I let out a breath and crushed you in to me, but I pulled back right away.

 

“Are you ok..? I didn't hurt you or the baby right?” I asked you anxiously. You giggled at me and shook your head. “Oh my god Sakura…I am going to be a father.” I exclaimed. You laughed wholeheartedly. My face turned to serious and I looked at you in the eye. “From now on, you're doing absolutely nothing. You'll never carry heavy stuff, no, actually you'll lifting nothing. I'll bring a maid and you, are going to relax.”

 

“Syaoran, you don't have to be that extreme. I'll be fine.” You laughed at me, caressing me cheeks.

 

“No, Sakura. I am serious; promise me you'll do what I said.”

 

“Syaoran…” you rolled your eyes and giggled.

 

“Promise me Sakura.”

 

“Ok, I promise, if that makes you happy.” You said hugging me.

 

“It did.” I held you closely, but not too forcefully so I wouldn't hurt the baby. I couldn't believe I would be a father. A father to our baby.

 

I pulled the car to a parking area. I shut the ignition and opened the car door open. Kyra came out from the back door and stood next to me. I auto locked the car and held Kyra's little hand. We both walked to meet you in our usual spot. I always met you there alone. However, it's Kyra's first time to meet you.

 

I don't think she still remembers you, since you left her in a very young age. Nevertheless, I showed her tons of pictures of you. She likes a lot and wishes if you were with her. Until now, I never told her why you left or how you left. I decided to tell her today, with you there.

 

I lifted Kyra in my arms and we resumed walking. I stopped in our usual meeting spot.

 

“Daddy is mommy going to come?”

 

I looked at her softly and said, “She's already here, honey.”

 

Kyra looked confused and looked back at me, “but I can't see her. I can only see rocks and sand.”

 

It pained me a lot to tell her this, “she's here, but we can't see her.”

 

“Can she see us?”

 

I nodded at her.

 

“Can she hear us?”

 

Again, I nodded at her.

 

“But I want to see and hear her too.” Kyra frowned at me and looked around desperately looking for you. It tore my heart apart to see our daughter like this.

 

“Kyra, mummy is up there.” I said to her pointing at the sky. Kyra curiously looked up. “She's always going to be there. Seeing us, hearing us, laughing with us and crying with us. But, sweetie, we can't see her.”

 

“That's not fair.” Kyra said in a small voice.

 

I hugged Kyra to me, “I know honey, mummy will always be there watching over us. Always.”

 

I walked through the hospital door and saw you lying there looking at space. You sensed me nearing you and you looked at me. Your eyes lit up instantaneously as you noticed the small figure in my hands. You extended your hands at me and I handed the baby tenderly to you.

 

You looked at our daughter lovingly and hugged her to you. I sat on the bed next to you and circled an arm around your shoulders and rested you're her underneath my chin. I kissed your head. You looked so exhausted after a long night.

 

You never noticed my tear that dropped on your hair and I never intended to tell you. Just before I came to your room, I spoke with the doctor. He congratulated me about the baby, but his face was saying another words. He said that you had a rare disease and you're going to die in less than three years.

 

I didn't believe him at first, but I didn't have a choice. I was broken. I couldn't believe that you're going to die and leave me. Leave us. I didn't know whether to tell you or not, but I figured out you knew anyway.

 

In three years, you became frail and weak; then again you tried to have as much time with me and Kyra. At the day you died your were so weak, that you barely kept your eyes open. You promised me you'll be strong and never gave up. Though you didn't. I watched you die and I couldn't do anything. I watched you slip away. Away from me.

 

I wished if it was a dream.

 

A nightmare.

 

I held Kyra to me and we both watched your grave. Kyra is emotionally hurt, but I am sure she'll get over it. She'll be bigger and she'll properly understand what exactly happened. And about me…I don't think I'll get over the fact that you're dead for sure. I'll never will be.

 

Kyra looked up at me and a tear escaped my eyes. Kyra extended her hands to my face and wiped the tear away. I gave her a watery smile, before pulling her to me, sniffing your scent from her. We both walked back to my car, silently saying our goodbyes to you.

 

Li Sakura

1979 - 2004

A daughter, a sister,

a wife and a mother.

May you rest in peace