Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Wish Unbroken, Dream Unspoken ❯ One ( Chapter 1 )

One

Tsukishiro Yukito stood in the doorway, looking out at the yard as the sun set. Everything was touched with an orange glow, changing the appearance of things just enough that the landscape looked slightly unreal. Some things glowed vividly with the change in lighting, others faded and became dull, but everything began to dim as the sunset progressed.

Yukito was looking to the east, waiting. From this particular door, on nights like this, if he waited patiently he could see the moon rise, still tainted with that orange glow of sunset. It would be larger than life, a vision that used to haunt his dreams, and he would watch it as the day melted into night around him.

The phone rang softly in another room, but he didn’t move to answer it. The ringing continued for a time, then stopped, and Yukito was left with his peaceful contemplation again. The moon was just rising, and he didn’t want to miss it. The sky was a much deeper blue now, almost the nighttime sky but not quite. Everything was being taken by shadow, and only the highest clouds showed signs of being touched by direct rays of sunlight. A soft breeze stirred up a hint of chill in the summer air as the warmth of day abandoned this part of the world.

The moon rose into full view, larger than it had a right to be. It dominated the horizon with its borrowed warm glow. Yukito had a strange urge to kick off his shoes and run into the yard to spin in circles under the light. As he thought about it he could almost feel the grass tickle the soles of his feet. The lawn would be cool to the touch, still damp from the morning watering, and the air would be heavier with the water vapor rising from the greenery.

He shook his head, resisting temptation. He would watch and wait. The moon was still rising, the day was still fading, and the crystal clarity of a full moon night awaited. As he set aside the longing to dance on the lawn though, another urge took over. He could climb up on the roof and lay under the stars as he watched the moon cross the sky. It was something he loved doing on the full moon, almost irresistible. He fondly remembered one night when he had come over to study with Touya and Sakura had been sneaking out herself to enjoy the same irresistible sight. It had made him happy to know that he wasn’t alone in his appreciation, even if it had been a little later than she should probably have been out. He wasn’t about to tell on her though when he understood how persuasive that pull could be.

He headed to the roof by way of the kitchen, collecting a few things to bring with him to snack on. He collected everything in a bag before heading to the side yard to pull out the ladder. As he climbed, he pulled out a sandwich and ate absently. As long as the food was there he felt an obligation to eat it. He sat down on the roof and ate as slowly as he could force himself to as he continued staring at the sky. As soon as the food was finished he lay down to get a wider view of the sky, though his eyes were still drawn to the moon. He lost track of time as he fell into contemplating the heavens and how vast everything was. No matter how you looked, there was always something more to see, either on a cosmic scale, or a microscopic scale. A person could spend eternity looking out at just this world and still find something new, but looking out at the night sky opened many more possibilities.

Yukito’s eyes slipped out of focus as he drifted on the high of possibility. His mind was completely distracted from the magic wind that began to caress his skin and play with wisps of his silvery hair. It wasn’t until he noticed an intensifying glow centered upon himself that he gave any thought to anything but the present. Ah, Yue, he thought before his mind lost focus entirely and white, feathery wings obscured his view of the world.

Kinomoto Touya was walking home slowly from a long day at work. Summer days may be lazy days for most students, but it only meant he had more time to spend at one of the part time jobs he seemed to collect like paperclips. Yes, paperclips. They popped up all over the place, they held things together, but you never hung on to one specific one for any length of time. That’s how it felt to him at least, because he found himself going just about anywhere in pursuit of that little bit of extra money.

"Tadaima," he called out softly as he kicked off his shoes. He was met by the silence of a house at rest, just the soft hum of appliances running or the muffled sound of a sleepy cough. He changed out of his work clothes first, the rummaged for something to eat. He was lucky, there were leftovers that tasted like their father had done the cooking, and dessert actually still awaited him for when he was finished.

He cleaned up after himself and realized he was still too restless to sleep, or even sit still while everyone else slept around him. He was feeling better than he had in months, and that was a feeling he was happy to exploit. He penned a quick note for his father in case he woke in the middle of the night and worried, then headed out the door for a walk.

It was a nice night, glowing under the moonlight with an occasional bit of cloud flitting across the sky. The clouds that did make an appearance were outlined in luminous silver, brightening the landscape in the ghostly glow even more. A night like this would be a magnet for restless spirits to wander through, but Touya no longer knew when one was near. His whole life he had seen them, until he had given his magic away just this past winter. Now he knew from experience that the streets would be occupied by former people, but he saw nothing of them.

He missed it a lot. There was no going around that. His mother was one of the ghosts that he would no longer be able to see. He hadn’t been a mere medium either--giving up his power had meant he didn't have nearly the stamina he used to for one. Another factor was that he couldn't tell when things were wrong, such as when his sister might be in danger. He felt like he might as well have given up any one of his basic senses, he had relied upon his magic for a lot of things.

He would gladly give it up all over again. He smiled wistfully as he thought of what he had gained with his sacrifice. His best friend had been dying, fading out before his eyes in a way no human being could. Touya had known from the start that Yukito hadn't been merely human, but it still had come as a horrible shock when he could suddenly sometimes see right through the other boy. He would have given anything to never see that sight again, and giving up his magic was a small price to pay to save Yukito's life.

When he had given his power though, he had seen a vision that haunted him in other ways. He had seen the part of Yukito that purely was not human. He had met Yue, seeing him up close for the first time. Touya had realized long ago that he was falling in love with his best friend and had kept his silence. When he had stood in Yue's presence though, he had burned anew at the sight. He still saw Yukito when he looked in Yue's eyes, but he felt like he saw the whole picture in focus for the first time, and two years of suppressed emotions had nearly threatened to overcome his carefully built defenses.

On the other hand, it had redoubled his resolve to hide his feelings away. He was lucky enough to be this close to Yukito. He would never expect his feelings to be returned, he had never done anything saintly enough to deserve having his feelings reciprocated by the other boy. How much more did he not deserve Yue, who was in all ways the very form of perfection? It was a cold and distant perfection, one that could never be touched by man, and if he could just make Yue smile once it would be more than enough. He was in love of his best friend, but he was in awe of his best friend's true form.

He wondered if that was the right way to feel. When you place someone above you like that, you can never be close. He had seen loneliness in those eyes, more bitter than he had ever faced. It made him ache to see the distance in the otherworldly being, and all he knew to do to try to help had been to treat him as he would treat Yukito.

It hadn't been enough. He had tried smiling, tried inviting Yue in and treating him as an equal, but the loneliness remained. Sometimes it broke his heart to think about it. He had managed to startle Yue, but not help him to let go of whatever was holding him back and holding him apart from the world.

Touya found that the direction of his thoughts had pulled his feet down the streets that led to Yukito's house. It was probably too late to visit, but he still walked past with a smile and a lightened heart. There were so many things to love about Yukito, from his generous heart to his genuine smiles. Yukito was sometimes everything Touya wished he could be, but not in any competitive sense. Before they had met, Touya had felt as if his heart was a frozen lump that did little more than sustain his life. He could feel nothing, he could trust no one, and the loneliness had hurt like frostbite upon his soul. Yukito had known just what to do and just what to say to make that frozen heart beat again.

As he walked past the house, he noticed that the ladder had been left up. Would Yukito be up there to watch the full moon? It was something they had talked about before, and Touya's heart skipped a beat as he contemplated the possibility. He had nothing better to do that night, and he could certainly use some company to halt the melancholy meanderings of his mind. He decided to ascend quietly in case his friend was asleep, either on the roof by accident, or inside and he had just not replaced the ladder yet.

He wasn't quiet prepared for the vision that met him. The ladder's presence had indicated to him that Yukito had been the one on the roof. Yue didn't need a ladder, he could fly either with his great white wings, or simply by using magic to levitate.

"You're late," Yue said in his velvety soft voice.

"I wasn't aware I was expected," Touya replied. Was this an attempt at humor by the moon guardian? It couldn't be, so Touya remained his normal stoic self on the outside, but within himself he was struggling to maintain balance.

A gentle hint of sadness touched the cool planes of the luminously pale face. That face was so much like Yukito's that Touya could read even the most subtle of expressions that graced it, otherwise he would not have known there was a change at all. "Sit with me," he invited, gesturing with one graceful hand to the spot next to him.

Touya hesitated only a moment before accepting. He couldn't believe that this was happening, but he wasn't fool enough to refuse. Yue turned his gaze again to the sky and the moon, and Touya tried to do the same, but he found that his attention kept drifting to the one who sat beside him.

It again hit him how Yue's physical presence drew him like a magnet, or like a moth to a flame. Everything about this creation screamed perfection to Touya's mind, from the flowing strands of pure white hair that grew well past his toes, to the amethyst eyes that were slitted like a cat's. The soft violet and yellow accents to his white robes set off how luminous he really was, as if he were an avatar of the moon. Touya noticed for the first time that the oval gems on the cuffs of the outfit were red, something that seemed unexpectedly out of place for the vibrancy of the color, but it created a balance somehow.

Touya smiled, no longer making any pretense of looking at the sky. He had seen that all before, and he could see it again any time he wished. He never knew when Yue would appear, especially this serene and approachable. He simply let his eyes drink in Yue's form, memorizing every detail while he had the chance.

When Touya's eyes returned to Yue's face, he found his gaze met. "Why do you look at me like that, Touya?"

A response caught in his throat as he realized he had been found. His voice refused to cooperate, so he sat there with his lips partially open while he froze under the watchful eye of his companion. He raised a hand, trying to gesture his apology, but his fingers were trembling and he realized he couldn't do a thing.

"I've never been looked at like that by anyone but you. Clow Reed looked upon me with a soft kindness, but never as anything but a child or creation. Your sister looks at me with fear in her eyes even still, though that is slowly being replaced by an awed acceptance. You are the only one that looks at me with the same eyes you look at Yukito. Why?"

"I don't know how to answer that," he said, tilting his head to the side.

Yue frowned and looked away, but that gesture didn't sit well with Touya. He felt like he was on the verge of something important, and if he let Yue withdraw he would never have a chance like this again. With more courage than he thought he possessed, he moved his hand over to gently touch Yue's cheek. The skin was soft and smooth, feeling more like silk than flesh. The contact sent a jolt through Touya, and Yue's eyes flew back to meet his again. It was such a familiar gesture, one that Touya wouldn't hesitate to make toward Yukito after all this time, but Yue was not really Yukito, and so both were surprised that Touya had reached out the way he did.

Time stood still between them, locking them together in wonderment. An expression both hopeful and afraid crossed Yue's face, then Yue was moving closer. Before Touya could register what was going on, Yue's lips were on his own in a feathery kiss. Touya couldn't breathe, and he wouldn't have been a bit surprised to find that his heart had entirely stopped in that instant. The widening of his eyes was the only response he could make. Yue's eyes remained on his, but as it became clear that the larger boy would not return the kiss violet eyes became amber and Touya felt as if the entire world shifted while he was in contact with the changing being before him. He became aware that Yue's wings had surrounded them both at the onset of the transformation, so as the wings parted his lips were still upon Yukito's. Touya still couldn't move, more lost in shock than ever.

The amber eyes of Yukito grew round in surprise, but he wasn't the kind to sit still in a strange situation like this. He pulled back, and raised a hand to his lips. "Touya? What's going on?"

Touya still couldn't move.

He could see all the pieces fall together in Yukito's mind because his face reflected every thought he had. Touya's heart began beating again, but each pulse was painful. He couldn't stand looking at the shock and horror on Yukito's face. He wanted to die when he saw the raw hurt in those beautiful eyes. He didn't want to hear what Yukito said next.

"Were you kissing Yue?"

Touya felt sick as he heard the breathless whisper come from his best friend. He stood carefully and made his way to the ladder without a word. There was nothing to say, the truth was obvious.

"Were you?"

Touya was midway down the ladder, and he didn't need to look up to know that Yukito was standing over him, looking down on him.

"Yes."

He walked home in a numb daze, wondering what to do about this. It was too much information to process at once. He had no idea what to think of what had happened. The expression on Yukito's face followed him though, and all he could think was that this was what he deserved for wanting what he could not have. Yukito would never give him a chance, and that kiss may have destroyed their friendship as well.