YUKITO'S LITTLE SECRET

By bishounen lovah

Chapter 1

Four months after Eriol Hiiragizawa and his guardians left Tomoeda, the reincarnate of Clow Reed had invited Yue and Keroberos to spend the summer in his estate located in the outskirts of London. The two guardians accepted the offer since they were curious on how different the boy was from the original sorcerer. Besides, they didn't have anything better to do (at least Keroberos didn't) since nothing had happened in Tomoeda ever since all the Clow Cards were turned into Sakura Cards.

Touya and Sakura were accompanying their father in an archaeological dig in Egypt. Yukito was also invited but he declined since Yue really wanted to know Eriol.

But now, he was regretting his decision. It was not that Eriol wasn't pleasant. In fact he really was accommodating. But as the days passed, Yue started to realize that aside from certain similar characteristics and habits, Eriol was really different from their former master. He had a different life now with different guardians.

Suddenly, Yukito wanted to be with Touya. He really missed him.

"Can I join you?" Nakuru interrupted his thoughts.

Yukito looked down at the girl (at least that's what she claims to be) and wasn't surprised that she was already climbing the tree. She sat on the branch on the other side of the trunk. They sat there quietly for a while and watched Spinel Sun and Keroberos chase each other across the huge garden.

"What were you thinking a while ago?" Nakuru started the conversation.

"Nothing really," Yukito replied although he could feel his cheeks burning. "Just spacing out."

It was starting to get dark but Nakuru was observant enough to notice Yukito's blush. She didn't need to be a genius to guess who he was thinking about. She smiled inwardly. Although she was curious about the reason behind the blush, she was more curious about why he lied.

"Yamero! You don't have to lie. It's pretty obvious you're thinking about Touya Kinomoto." Nakuru paused for a while and tried to think how to approach the subject. It seemed weird because she usually just let the words pop out from her mouth.

But this situation was different. She was really curious so she didn't want to scare Yukito off. When she couldn't think of a subtle approach, she decided to be direct about it.

"Naze? Why did you lie just then?"

Nakuru watched Yukito's eyes grow wide with surprise. Then he bowed his head to hide another blush. She could see from the play of emotions on his face that he was confused. It was obvious that he didn't know the answer to her question.

But Nakuru already got her answer from those few seconds she observed him. She decided to help him out.

"Do you love him, Yukito?"

He was again surprised by Nakuru's question. He looked at the girl and saw that she was serious. She wasn't baiting him or making fun of him. This made him face the dreaded question that's been plaguing his mind for quite some time now.

"And I don't mean the brotherly or friendly type of love," Nakuru added. "I meant you know…the ultimate kind of love."

He knew what she meant. I guess this is the best time to finally know the truth, Yukito decided. He knew that being near Touya would only cloud his judgment.

He tried hard to classify all the emotions that he felt. He had loved Clow Reed but realized that it was the love of a son to his father. He had created Yue and for that he loved him like a true son.

He didn't have to think about what he felt for Keroberos. They have a weird kind of relationship since they help and protect one another even though they can barely tolerate each other.

There was no question that he loved the Card Mistress as a sister. Both Yukito and Yue thought of Sakura as such. As for Eriol and his guardians, he barely knew them but he respected them.

This left only Touya. He had always been there for Yukito. Even though he knew that Yukito wasn't a real human, he still befriended him. And there was that time when he gave his powers so that Yukito and Yue won't disappear. He had given a big part of him…and for that Yukito loved him.

"I do love him," Yukito said in wonder. "I love him because he is the most unselfish and caring man I know."

"Demo…" he added after a while when he thought of something else.

That was the cue that Nakuru was waiting for. "It's all right, you know, to fall in love with another man. It's not forbidden. Love doesn't choose any gender."

Nakuru watched Yukito as what she said sank in. But she could still see some doubt and shame in his eyes. She stood up so she could leave him alone with his new discovery.

"If you still have some doubts, remember one thing," she said as she jumped down the tree, "you're not really a man. Yue and I are the same. We don't really have a gender. We are whom we choose to be."

With that she left Yukito staring blindly into the star filled night.

He knew that she was right. There was no shame in loving another man. But still he was too shy to entertain the idea. Besides that, there was another problem. Would Touya love him back if he knew what he felt or would this new discovery threaten their friendship?

We are whom we choose to be, he recalled what Nakuru said. I wish it was that simple. If only I am a woman then I could freely love Touya.

He laughed at the absurdity of that wish. Why would he wish something he knew wouldn't happen? He jumped down the tree and walked to the mansion with his head down.

He never did saw the hundreds of falling stars that flashed through the dark sky.

~The next morning~

"Come on, Yukito! We're going to miss breakfast." Keroberos said as he prodded Yukito's blanket-covered body.

"Go away," Yukito mumbled, his voice muffled by his pillow.

"Get up already, will you?" Keroberos insisted. He could smell pancakes and maple syrup but couldn't go down alone because Spinel swore revenge last night after Keroberos dunked him in the birdbath.

Finally getting tired of yelling at a bundle of blankets, Keroberos flew to the head of the bed and yanked the blanket off Yukito.

"Aaargh!" he shouted, his hands on his chest trying to calm his thumping heart. He knew he was over-reacting but he was surprised when it was Yukito's feet that greeted him instead of his face. "Jeez! You almost scared me to death."

Yukito sat on the bed. He was still half asleep so he stretched his arms to facilitate blood circulation. "Ohayo, Keroberos," he yawned as the other guardian flew back to the foot of the bed.

"It's about time you woke up. Do you know how long I've been trying to…?" Keroberos trailed off as he stared at Yukito's stretched body from head to foot.

"AAAARRRGGHHHH!!!" He screamed again, only much louder this time, making the walls quiver with the vibration.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost." Yukito stared in puzzlement at Keroberos after he rubbed his eyes. The other guardian looked like he was going to faint although he kept pointing at him viciously.

"What's all the commotion about?" Nakuru asked as she, Suppi and Eriol entered Yukito's room. Both Nakuru and Suppi halted suddenly, staring at Yukito in shock. Eriol was looking both puzzled and amused.

"What are you all staring at?" Yukito asked again, getting a bit impatient.

"Perhaps you should take a look for yourself," Eriol said as he gestured towards the full-length mirror across the room.

Yukito grabbed his glasses on the bedside table and did what Eriol said. And what he saw stunned him…

His hair grew longer overnight and it fell straight right above his shoulders. His eyelashes had grown longer and thicker while his lips looked smaller yet fuller.

But what shocked him the most was the rest of his body. His chest was bigger making his pajama top look tight. His PJ bottom, on the other hand, was loose on the waist and tight on the hips. And a quick peek inside did confirm everything.

I'm a girl, Yukito thought before passing out.