Cat Girl Nuku Nuku Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Wrong Place Wrong Time ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Chapter 1

 

 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

 

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

 

Please feel free to review, and make comments. If you find a spelling or wordage mistake, feel free to let me know. Thank you.

 

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Author Note: This was originally an Omake File, but feedback I received demanded it be a separate short story.

 

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It was the evening of your everyday average pigtailed chaos magnet.

 

Woke up thanks to a bucket-full of water—ice chilled—thrown by one uncute tomboy fiancée.

 

Then Ranma—now cold and female—was tossed out of the window by her stupid father.

 

Enter the scene to one quick panda beat down—Ranma wasn't in the mood at the moment for a long spar. She was cold, wet, hungry, and pissed because she had been having a great dream where she—then he—had just defeated SSJ4 Gojita for the title of Universe's Strongest Fighter.

 

A quick breakfast was then served, and enjoyed since the usual theft by the panda was stopped since said panda was still floating face-up in the koi pond.

 

This was followed by the usual day at Furinkan which included being drained by the teacher, fighting Akane's lunch she lovingly prepared for him, being glomped, malleted, attacked, malleted again for picking on “poor Ryoga”, followed by gym where more boys needed to be taught that Ranma-chan does not give a free show on demand or trick, followed by a mallet home for helping boys be perverts in the shower.

 

Then we had dinner, where Akane tried to cook again, and after using several vacuum blades to kill it, since Ranma's chi attacks were merely cooking it more and unleashing a foul odor that peeled the rice paper from the doors, Akane malleted Ranma into LEO once again for “refusing her perfectly fine meal.”

 

This is how Ranma found himself in Minato Ward, Juuban District. Normally, he would hurry back, but with Akane cooking, he would rather sleep in the trees at the local parks, since there was no school tomorrow.

So, after fetching a quick meal at a local arcade thanks in part to some money swiped from his Father and Mr. Tendo from their celebrations fund, he decided to head towards a park and find a nice tree to sleep in.

 

Of course, the nature of the universe would not allow his presence to interrupt the normal flow of things in this district, so it was no great surprise when he came across several girls in sailor fukus and one guy in a tuxedo fighting several members of the Forces of Darkness.

 

Ranma knew the Forces of Darkness well. They had had a branch office in Nerima, but went out of business due to failures of their clients—Gos, Happosai, Kuno so that he could defeat them and impress his loves, and any other local idiot—to pay, as well as the failure of their members to return from their missions.

 

After all, losing employees is bad for business.

 

Now normally, Ranma stayed out of fights outside of Nerima. He was smart enough to know that if he didn't; these people would come looking for him in Nerima either to join up or for payback for defeating them.

 

He was still having trouble with those damn helicopters chasing him after helping Nuku Nuku out once.

 

So, he leaned back against the wall, staying in the shadows, as the magical girls posed, made speeches, blasted, got blasted, and repeated their routine, as the street soon became a rocky road.

 

Observing, Ranma noted how the energies flowed around them as the preformed their attacks, some of them reminding Ranma of how the power of Saffron's keys acted. He had been trying to develop his own elemental chi attacks, in case he ever had to deal with something else like the Phoenix God. A few attacks that could use an opponents strength against him was always nice to have. Despite all thought, he still had been unable to come up with an attack like he had seen on that Inuyasha anime. If he could get that Backlash to work, he could hit Ryoga with his own damn chi attacks.

 

As he was watching, he looked up as the weird blond with the hair globes was literally thrown into the wall above him, making a nice little dent.

 

Deciding to be a kind citizen, Ranma leapt up, removed her from the wall, and brought he back down to the street, the girl completely unconscious to the world.

 

Worrying about whether or not the girl now had brain damage—as he suspected that was why she kept doing all those speeches instead of just fighting, Ranma carefully cradled the girl.

 

Of course, it was because of this he didn't notice his anti-Nabiki senses tingling, letting him know that he was being photographed.

 

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Sighing, Ranma looked at the Tendo Dojo once again. He had been forced to help the girls with more of his forbidden techniques, since his chi attacks rarely worked on the Forces of Darkness.

 

Of course, he stayed to the shadows. The last thing he needed was magic girls out to marry him, and they all were weird enough to warrant being that afraid.

 

Just to be safe, Ranma decided it was best to head out of Minato and back to Nerima, and managed to avoid the damn helicopter on another mission to destroy the pigtailed android.

 

So, seeing that Akane was still up and looking for him, Ranma headed into the store room above the dojo to sleep.

 

After all, this day was over, so why should he expect it to get any worse?

 

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Nodoka was watching the late night news, not quite feelings up to sleeping tonight. It would be a few more days before she'd be able to take off from her job and go visit her son again. If she could just get them to move back here, but those thoughts were usually derailed by the idea of him sneaking into each of the Tendo girls' rooms and being manly like she knew he was.

 

Well, she would have to work tomorrow on making a schedule perhaps, so they could come here, and hopefully not destroy the house again. After all, surely they were all okay with sharing her manly son, her husband had said so.

 

She just wondered when the hell her promised grandchildren would arrive.

 

As a news story came on about another Senshi battle, she was surprised to see some footage of her son helping, trying to be a dashing hero by not revealing himself.

 

But what really got her was the way he was cradling Sailor Moon. Sure, it looked like he was trying to ensure that she was safe. After all, the woman had just been drilled into a stone wall, so she might very well have had neck, spinal, or head trauma.

 

But a mother could see beyond the trappings of such a look, and could tell immediately that she was obviously one of the many girls her son was manly with.

 

She had been worried about her son and his ability to be manly at the Tendo's as of late. After all, they did engage him to their youngest; who had no skills in cooking, cleaning, sowing, fighting, walking, talking, anger-control, and did tend to slap her son on his ass and feel him up, both in girl form.

 

Not that Nodoka discounted such things, as it just proved her son was very manly, even as a woman.

 

So, when the news crew posted a number about information on Sailor Moon's savior, she immediately called. Surely her manly son would want credit for his work to save his mistresses.

 

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As Nabiki looked blearily at the television, waiting for Kasumi to produce her magic elixir known as coffee, she was slightly stunted into reality by seeing a morning news show introducing Auntie on the air.

 

Well, this ought to be amusing.

 

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Across the ward, several other girls—mostly fiancées or those wishing to be—were also tuning into the news, and seeing Ranma's mother on the air. They each shared a thought, believing that the woman would introduce them as the true fiancée to Ranma, while a few guys were hoping she said Ranma-chan was available and that they were her fiancé.

 

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Ranma slept in the storage space, next to a Christmas tree, wondering when his Pops shaved, and for what reason.

 

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As it was early in the morning, the Senshi were also gathered around the televisions at their homes. After an incident in which a reporter had shown their battle and then proceeded to mangle their abilities, they started watching the morning news for information about their adventures. After all, it was always best to know which press members you should save from youma, and which you should wait to save until after they had been drained.

 

So, it was with curious surprise when they saw a mystery boy helping them, saving their asses on several occasions, and prying Sailor Moon from her Fourth Floor couch in the stone wall.

 

“And with us now via remote is Nodoka Saotome, the mother of that mystery man who helped the Senshi defeat the newest attack on our fair district.”

 

It should be known that after the former anchor for this show had been drained several times by youma while being rescued by the Senshi, the anchors all tried to portray the Senshi in the best possible light.

 

Of course, many of the Senshi were wondering why this woman would risk both her own life and that of her family; just to publicize the fact it was her son that did those deeds.

 

Well, all but one was; Luna was having to occasionally sink her claws into Usagi to keep the future Queen of the Earth from drowning in her own bowl of cereal.

 

“So, Ms. Saotome, why do you let your son fight these dangerous creatures?”

 

Nodoka merely smiled, patting her empty side, from where the studio had been very adamant that she was not allowed her honor blade on the set. “Well, my son has been trained as one of the best martial artists of his generation. And as you saw, my manly son didn't have any trouble dispatching those creatures.”

 

“Yes, and what do you say to one caller we had, who claimed you son was a `foul sorcerer who called those demons to further betwixt his fierce tigress, his beloved pigtailed girl, and the lovely Sailor Uranus from his side?”

 

“You mean you believe such drivel?”

 

“No, but the guy's a Kuno, so we're required by law to let them occasionally speak.”

 

“Oh, that Tatewaki boy is hardly manly. Even I know by the way he waves that bokken around that he is compensating for not being very manly.

 

“Anyway, my son is nothing but a hero.”

 

While Haruka was puking into the trash can nearby, as she had originally been turned off men by a bokken wielding idiot named Tatewaki Kuno, who refused to accept the fact that at the age of eight, she refused to play House and Doctor with him, they resumed watching the news.

 

Of course, by this time, Ranma's nose had detected the aroma of Kasumi's breakfast, and had magically teleported the now wide awake boy to the dining room table, drool covering the floor.

 

It was also when he caught sight of the television, which was being stared at by the rest of the occupants of the dojo, with Nodoka on screen.

 

It was then that Ranma knew true fear. Saffron was a pansy compared to the horrors his own mother could unleash upon him. By now, there would be countless fiancées and fiancés heading to Tokyo to find him.

 

His only hope was that his mother didn't make it worse.

 

Sadly, Kami-sama would not be able to answer that prayer, as he was still chasing a girl named Mihoshi out of his office, as well as getting rid of a pig with a leopard bandana that seemed to be constantly circling his new potted plant.

 

“And now we come to the part where we captured your son helping Sailor Moon.”

 

Ranma just paled as he watched the television interview. His mother was talking to reporters about a scene where he had rescued Sailor Moon, and was holding her bridal style.

“Oh yes, I always knew my manly son was just perfect for her, and the babies will be so beautiful!”

“So,” said the reporter, “they are expecting children?”

Ranma began to bang his head on the dinner table. If the NWC or fiancées didn't get him, then the Senshi would.

 

“Of course. You and I both know that none of those girls are dating Tuxedo Kamen. I mean, my best friend who does my hair; Raiden, admits the guy has to be gay.”

 

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“WHAT?” screamed Mamoru from his own breakfast table.

 

Motoki wiped the cereal from his face, trying to ignore the spit-take his roommate had just preformed. “What's the problem, Mamoru? Everyone knows that Kamen was gay.”

 

“How could you say that?” gasped Mamoru.

 

“Well,” said Motoki, “he always does those corny speeches, hardly fights, always throws things, never actively participates, fights in a tux, has yet to be declared dating those girls. I mean come on, he should have dated at least two of them by now.

 

“But no, no one sees him, and he doesn't act straight. I mean, all those girls in short skirts, and he never once has been seen looking at them. He has to be gay!”

 

Mamoru started to cry, before running to his room, and slamming the door shut.

 

Motoki just sighed. “Dude acts like his hero just died or something.”

 

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Ikuko smiled as Kenji wiped his face clean from the cereal their daughter had spit out hearing the news. “Well, I guess we should be glad Sailor Moon found a supportive man like this Ranma guy to marry.”

 

“WHAT?” cried out Usagi. “But she's supposed to marry Tuxedo Kamen.”

 

“Please,” said Shingo as he scooped more of the pancakes his mother had made into his mouth before Usagi regained her appetite. “Everyone at school knows the guy is gay. What self-respecting male superhero acts like he does?”

 

“Not that there's anything wrong with being gay,” said Kenji, grabbing another section of the paper since his daughter's projectile shot of corn flakes had destroyed the comics. “I'm sure he's a nice man, but no one seriously believes that he and Sailor Moon are an item.

 

“Like your mother said, Usagi, we're just happy that she found herself a nice man that actively supports her choice of career.”

 

“Besides,” said Ikuko, little hearts filling her eyes, “She's right; the children would look so adorable!”

 

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In the home of the Outers, Haruka was now collapsed on the floor, holding her aching sides from having laughed so hard at what had just occurred, wondering how upset Setsuna would be when she woke up in an hour.

 

That would teach the Time Senshi not to attend the fights.

 

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Ranma simply stared at the television, though the program had by now moved to the weather was of no concern, as his mind was locking up on trying to calculate just how screwed he was now.

 

Of course, things were still carrying on despite his mental absence.

 

Soun was once again whining about how the schools would never be joined.

 

Genma was berating Ranma for knocking up some floozy instead of his lovely fiancée. He would have turned to Soun to convince them they needed to have the wedding now, but Akane had sent him into the Outer Wall of the Dojo for his comment that Ranma should have knocked her up.

 

This act bought Ranma a few more seconds to reboot to reality.

 

Nabiki was cursing herself for being out of the loop on this one. Luckily, she had not yet decided to drop the Magic Girl coverage on the Dojo, so they'd be fine once the Senshi arrived to either drag Ranma to Sailor Moon, or execute him on the spot.

 

She didn't really believe Ranma had done that with Sailor Moon, let alone anyone else. She'd seen him drunk and he didn't try and get fresh with anyone, and quite frankly, thanks to the poor education from his father, she doubted he even knew what to do to have a baby.

 

Kasumi was just smiling, asking Ranma if Sailor Moon could get her an autograph, or would perhaps be coming over for some tea.

 

Finally, the Ranma OS devoted enough system resources to his body, and the pigtailed boy numbly walked towards the roof, deciding maybe the view would be better up there to see the shit that was about to bury him.

 

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After Setsuna had woken up, and the Outers had stopped her from transforming and blasting every single person who had seen or heard of that report from the face of the planet—she was understandably a bit troubled by finding the newest kink in her plans for Crystal Tokyo—they immediately held an emergency meeting.

 

An emergency meeting is like a regular meeting, except Makoto buys the snacks and serves them as fresh baked instead of actually making them.

 

Usagi was already crying as she explained what had occurred at her house. “Not only were my folks happy that Sailor Moon was not dating Kamen, who they think is gay for some reason, but they wondered if he had a brother, since they prefer a guy like him who can protect me instead of a playboy like Mamoru.”

 

Mamoru blinked at that news. As Kamen, people thought he was gay. As Mamoru, they thought he chased after anything female.

 

It made no sense to him.

 

“You know,” said Minako, once again unknowingly putting explosives on the fire, “that could explain why Usa has pink hair. You know, red and yellow make pink.”

 

Ami sighed. “Genetics don't work that way, Mina-chan. That could only happen if pink hair existed in their families.”

 

“Even Magic Girl genetics?”

 

Ami blinked. She had no idea how Magic Girl genetics worked. “I don't know.”

 

Everyone gasped at that. Ami Mizuno: child genius and mental prodigy towards a better world, the Senshi who knew everything ... didn't know about Magic Girl genetics, or if such a stream of data existed.

 

“And now we have word on the street about the newest gossip about Sailor Moon. Ma'am, do you believe this story as been reported?”

 

“Yes, and to tell the truth, I've always thought Kamen was a little gay.”

 

The group turned to Haruka, who was now laughing nervously. “Well, you guys were inside the store buying snacks, and well ... they asked me ... um, I'm in trouble, aren't I?”

 

The others nodded, as Usagi launched into a new line of sobs, as not only was her reputation ruined and even her own teammates thought her boyfriend was gay, but Makoto's treats weren't homemade.

 

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Rei decided to stop this hysteria before it went on anymore. At this rate, her favorite anime might get postponed just because Dumpling Head was too stupid to solve her own problems.

Remember folks, she's supposed to rule the world one day. But if we elected George W. Bush twice, then I can see it happening.

 

“You know,” said Rei, “all we need to do is have Sailor Moon deny that she's even seeing the guy. Then we have her deny that she's even slept with him, let alone anyone else.”

 

“What about me?” asked Mamoru.

 

Rei just snorted. “We can worry about proving you're straight later. If we try that now, they'll just say she's lying.”

 

Mamoru now began crying as Usagi brightened up. Why did everyone believe Tuxedo Kamen preferred men? Sure, two of his four Generals had been into each other, but still...

 

“And what of Ranma-kun?” asked Hotaru, a little sad that Usa wasn't going to be born soon. She missed her friend.

 

“We hack him to little pieces,” growled out Setsuna, once again free from her straight jacket. “We rip him to pieces, and then burn those pieces with every bit of magic we can muster. We do everything and anything we can think of to ensure he pays for defiling the future with his seed.”

 

“Usagi's not sleeping with him, Setsuna,” said Michiru, trying to talk some sanity back into the woman.

 

“Please,” said Haruka, once again about to demonstrate that even a female can insert a foot deeply into their own mouth, “I'm a confirmed lesbian and even I thought he was kind of cute. What would a straight girl do?”

 

“WAH!” cried out Makoto. “Usagi's taking every hot guy for herself!”

 

Minako paled. “Stop taking all the fishcakes, Usagi-chan!”

 

“That's beefcakes, Minako,” said Ami, deciding to open up the Mercury Computer and search for anything on Magic Girl genetics.

 

“No,” said Minako. “She's really taking all the fishcakes. Give me!” screamed Minako, launching for the final fishcake before Usagi hoovered it.

 

“Okay, so we have a plan,” said Usagi, standing in triumph as she swallowed the last of the snacks. “Now, let's go save the reputation of Sailor Moon!”

 

“What about me?” asked Mamoru, but he quickly went back to crying as everyone ignored him.

 

“Now,” said Usagi, ignoring the chill going down her back, “let's go get some ice cream!”

 

She had already moved onto more important things, and thus left, allowing Luna and Artemis to breath once they were free from the cushions she had placed on them to stop them from yelling at her.

 

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As the assembled fiancées and rivals gathered in the dojo, Nabiki was currently trying to cajole Ranma off the roof to inform his suitors, rivals, and interested news parties that had paid Nabiki a very handsome fee for the interview, to talk to people. “Come on, Ranma-kun; we have Kasumi's chocolate stuffed cookies.”

 

“No, I ain't leavin' this spot. If I do, trouble's a comin'.”

 

Nabiki sighed. He was already back to using slang again, which meant he was really scared. “Don't tell me you're scared of it?”

 

“HELL YES I AM!” screamed Ranma.

 

Man, it must be bad if he's admitting fear. “Fine, then can you hand down that cat we put up—oh, hello Ranma,” she said, having surprisingly caught said boy as his fear of cats outweighed his fear of pain.

 

Soon, he was positioned on a small platform in the yard, several of Nabiki's associates holding newborn kittens to keep him from fleeing.

 

Now, it was time for the questions, accusations, and bad ideas to hit.

 

“Airen best not be really doing silly girl in too too short skirt,” growled out Shampoo.

 

“Yeah, Ranchan should only be knocking up his cute fiancée,” Ukyo said, before blushing in embarrassment. Really, they'd never had a fight quite like this one.

 

“Quite right,” said Genma, already back to functioning on his four remaining brain cells not killed off when Stupidity, Sloth, and Greed ransacked the Brain Village. “We should have a wedding, so he can do that with Akane.”

 

“Quite right, Saotome,” said Dumber. “Let's go get the priest!”

 

“FATHERS NO BAKA!” screamed Akane, as she belted them to UEO, since she was so enraged at the thought of doing that with Ranma.

 

Though depending on whom you asked, some believed it had more to do with the fact that they expected her to give birth, when Ranma could just as easily. After all, she always remembered her Mother talking about some eighty-six hours of labor for Nabiki.

 

And she was the quick one out.

 

Of course, as he was really a pervert, she knew he'd be expecting that. After all, that's what perverts did.

 

“At last, the foul sorcerer has been exposed, even stealing the innocence of Sailor Moon!” postured the man that most agreed with Nodoka's statement about the reason he waved that bokken around. “Now, join me my fellow warriors of purity so that we might smite him!”

 

Soon, he joined the fathers in UEO, next to Sputnik, which Kuno immediately broke believing it was a device of magic used by Saotome.

 

Sadly, a peace conference call was being routed through it to provide secrecy, and thus two wars would be raging by tomorrow thanks to Kuno.

 

“Oh, hohohohoho!” chuckled Kodachi, “Ranma-sama, please tell these peasants that it is only my field that you wish to seed.”

 

A moment of silence was heard as everyone around died just a little that day, before... “WHAT?”

 

Ranma blinked as he forced his breakfast back down into his stomach. “No, I just wanted to say I ain't done anything with—”

 

“HOLD IT!”

 

Ranma paled. Yes, Death had finally arrived for him. After all the fiancées, fiancés, dragons, and Phoenix Gods, he would die on national TV.

 

And those teachers at Furinkan said he'd never be famous outside of martial arts. Well, he showed them.

 

On the Dojo roof—much to the amusement of all the male perverts looking up—were the Sailor Senshi.

 

“I, Sailor Moon, would just like to say—”

 

“Stuff it you hussy!” cried out Akane. “How dare you steal Ranma away from me?”

 

“Excuse me?” asked Sailor Moon.

 

What she didn't know, nor any of them since Pluto was deigned too unstable to be allowed near the Time Gates, but what everyone else knew because of the information packets they received from Nabiki as part of their fee for the interview, was not only how many romantic entanglements Ranma had, but how violent and possessive they could be.

 

With a massive showing of strength, hoping to show who the dominant female in the area was, Akane summoned her mighty Mallet of Pervert-Bashing, and slammed it into the dojo wall, knocking the Sailor Suited Defenders to their knees.

 

Except for Sailor Moon, who literally bounced off the roof, down it, off the gutter, and right on top of one pale martial artist, face to face, lips on lips.

 

Ranma finally saw what most people said to expect in moments like this: his entire life flashed before his eyes, giving him one final revelation.

 

God, I hate my old man.

 

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“Listen up world!” cried Tuxedo Kamen from his perch on a local tavern roof. “I, Tuxedo Kamen, am happily engaged to a lovely woman, who I plan to marry and spend the rest of my life with!”

 

His idea was pretty sound. How many people actually shouted their love from the rooftops? It had been the best plan he could come up with, given the small amount of time he had and the large amount of liquor currently sitting in his stomach.

 

It might have gone better too, had he not done it from the top of a gay bar.

 

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“This is the Channel 8 Evening News, with ongoing coverage of what has been termed the Great Magic Girl Chase.

 

“Currently, you can see Mr. Ranma Saotome going strong, holding what we suspect is a possibly pregnant Sailor Moon, as they are being chased by several dozen people. We have identified several as fiancées arranged by his father to “pay for his retirement”, one who claims to be a wife by her tribe's marriage laws, the suitors of those girls, claiming they will both kill him for stealing their girlfriends, and for betraying those girlfriends, one pervert who just admitted he only wants Sailor Moon's panties, as well as the most of the Senshi with the exception of Sailor Mercury who did not show, Tuxedo Kamen, whom we have heard just tried to declare he was straight while standing on a gay bar, and Sailor Uranus, who is currently laughing uncontrollably at the Tendo Dojo. Currently, the only strange one is Sailor Pluto, who seems to be chasing them with ... a chainsaw and flame thrower? Now there seems to be some sort of attack, and it looks like a pipe was busted...

 

“Okay, the man has just turned into a buxom redhead.”

 

“Kei,” said a reporter from the field, “Ms. Tendo informed us he has a magical curse that turns him female when he is hit with cold water.”

 

“Oh, I see. Well, Sailor Moon is still holding onto him ... her ... them like before. Perhaps we have another Senshi who has tasted the forbidden fruit?”

 

Sadly, this was all wasted on Ami and the two moon cats, as they finished their research. “So, there is no difference in genetics between girls and magic girls.

 

“Hey, where'd everyone go?”

 

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Nodoka was giggling at the television. Not only had her son proved his love by saving her once again and sealing the deal with a kiss, but was even now protecting his pregnant mistress who seemed to enjoy his girl side as much as his male side.

 

“WAH! My magical girl grandbabies will be so CUTE!”

 

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Omake of Omake by DhampyrX2:

 

“You know,” said Rei, “all we need to do is have Sailor Moon deny that she's even seeing the guy. Then we have her deny that she's even slept with him, let alone anyone else.”

“What about me?” asked Mamoru.

Rei just snorted. “We can worry about proving you're straight later. If we try that now, they'll just say she's lying.”

Mamoru now began crying as Usagi brightened up. Why did everyone believe Tuxedo Kamen preferred men? Sure, two of his four Generals had been into each other, but still...

“And what of Ranma-kun?” asked Hotaru, a little sad that Usa wasn't going to be born soon. She missed her friend.

“We inform the media that he belongs to me and me alone, and that I am not inclined to share," Setsuna remarked archly with a glare toward her future queen.

“Usagi's not sleeping with him, Setsuna,” said Michiru, trying to talk some sanity back into the woman.

“Please,” said Haruka, once again about to demonstrate that even a female can insert a foot deeply into their own mouth, “I'm a confirmed lesbian and even I thought he was kind of cute. What would a straight girl do?”

"MINE!" Setsuna growled as she tried to lunge for Haruka's throat. Of course she knew what would happen if Haruka thought she had a chance to share with a woman like Ranma-chan in the house. She did not intend to sacrifice that kind of quality time from Ranma after going thousands of years without nookie.

“WAH!” cried out Makoto. “Pluto's taking the hot guy for herself!”

Minako paled. “Stop taking all the fishcakes, Usagi-chan!”

“That's beefcakes, Minako,” said Ami, deciding to open up the Mercury Computer and search for anything on Magic Girl genetics. "And Setsuna is trying to take him."

"No, I mean Usagi is eating the last of the food. I'm still hungry here!" Minako declared as she lunged for any scraps left only to come up empty.

“Okay, so we have a plan,” said Usagi, standing in triumph after her meal. “Now, let's go save the reputation of Sailor Moon!”

“What about me?” asked Mamoru, but he quickly went back to crying as everyone ignored him.

“Now,” said Usagi, ignoring the chill going down her back, “let's go get some ice cream!”

 

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Omake of Omake by Tai Khan:

 

“Now,” said Usagi, ignoring the chill going down her back, “let's go get some ice cream! ... And pickles!"

Everyone in the room, save Usagi who was contemplating the possibility of pickle-flavored ice cream, froze in place.

"Uhm... Usagi?" Rei began slowly, staring at her princess. "Is there something you might want to tell us?"

 

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Omake of Omake by CatOnFire:

 

“WAH!” cried out Makoto. “Usagi's taking the hot guys for herself!”

Minako paled. “Stop taking all the cute fruitcakes, Usagi-chan!”

“That's beefcakes, Minako,” said Ami, deciding to open up the Mercury Computer and search for anything on Magic Girl genetics.

Minako just points to the TV where it is showing Ranma in the Neko-ken pawing at a ball of yarn, then points at Mamoru who is rocking back and forth in a corner while crying that he isn't gay.

“Er, right...” says Ami with a massive sweatdrop.