Chobits Fan Fiction ❯ The Sumomo ❯ Main Poem/FF.N Version ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
The Sumomo, inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven"
Yami Android 10/28/03

Yami Android's Disclaimer:
This is my first Chobits project, and I don't own Chobits, nor Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven." I own neither in any case. I only know fragments of the actual poem, and this was actually inspired by a Simpsons Halloween Episode.

The Sumomo-Narration by Yami Android

It all began in a midnight's hour

when poor Hideki's noon went sour

Mourning for the fact that he has no cash and no whores,

he was a nobody, and nothing more.

Suddenly, he hears a knock upon his chamber door.

Will it be a desperate whore?

Or will it be a fat bastard upon the door?

Quoth Hideki: I'm a nobody, and nothing more.

I miss the days when I used to have a whore.

Now there's dirty porno magazines, and nothing more.

Hideki opened his chamber door

Out of desperation of another whore.

When, in fact, it was Sumomo, that perched upon his chamber door.

Hideki again mourned for another whore.

Quoth Hideki: I mourn for my whore,

I want another whore, and nothing more,

I screwed Yumi and the other whores,

The teacher, and all the sluts that I f**k

Ended me up in the poorhouse and sh*t out of luck.

I just want my whore!!!

Quoth Sumomo: Nevermore.

Quoth Hideki: You leave my chamber door!

My sorrows aren't for you, they're for my whores!

Leave thy word unbroken, and leave thy sorrows untold,

From the bottom of my unwashed frying pan (for ten weeks), my strippers are sold!

So leave me be with thy sadness from thy bastard's whore!

Quoth Sumomo: Nevermore.

Hideki: You little...

Sumomo: Eeeek, scary!!! *climbs up the bookcase*

Hideki: Come back here, you-! *throws a vase at Sumomo, but hits Hideki instead*

My quarters have been trashed, drooling for another whore,

When the eloping bastard makes his slut scream for more.

Sumomo sits atop upon Hideki's chamber door.

And the last word Hideki hears is: Nevermore...

Ending

Chi: Nevermore.

Hideki: Wha-?! You're not in the number, Chi!

Chi: Nevermore.

Yami Android: Let's end this the usual way.

Raijin: What was that lever again?

Shadow: Big, dumb, and pathetic.

Raijin: I'll shove this stick up your-

*Cannon blast*

Yami Android: The end, I guess...

Seifer: Damn straight it is! *cuts the rope holding, you guessed it-*

The end. Please read, review, and that's all I ask of you, the audience.