Chrono Crusade Fan Fiction ❯ Hell Hath No Fury ❯ Interlude 1: Decision ( Chapter 6 )

Oh God.

 

I knew this day would come, someday. I had hoped against hope that I would never be faced with it, but I always knew. I could feel Rosette's eyes on me as I gazed at the accursed things. No... more like was transfixed by them.

 

They looked so dead, and dull, and lifeless, sitting on the dingy table. While not attached to someone, they were practically useless. At the moment, their influence alone is what made them worth anything. And that alone was enough to terrify me.

 

I could remember vividly the days not so far gone where I would've cried with joy at a moment like this. No one ever had to remind me of the first time I felt my astral energy begin to drain, or of when I discovered how weak this form was. From being powerless, to just not being able to see over things, I remember hating this form.

 

But that was a long time ago. I had long since made peace with myself on that point. And even if I could never make peace with what was still keeping me alive, Rosette had. Wasn't that enough?

 

I remember boldly telling Aion to keep my horns. I knew that if I had taken them back from him, there would have been a price tag. He returned my horns, and I returned to the fold. It was a ridiculous proposition that I had no problem rejecting, even though my lack of horns left me weak and vulnerable. Had I known then the horror they would cause upon my refusal.... It never did any good to think on the past that way. What's done was done, right?

 

So why, then, did I feel terror squeeze my heart, tighter with each beat, every passing second that I looked at them?

 

I tore my eyes away to look at Merari. His face was dispassionate, calm. He had no stake in my horns whatsoever. Unlike Aion, he had no unholy ambitions. That was not the way Merari was. Even his involvement with Aion now was due only to the retribution he felt the demon was owed, and perhaps through some loyalty. Merari seemed to feel a connection with Joshua, and even more so with Rosette. What his relationship with Joshua was I didn't know. I don't think even he really knew. But with Rosette it was a common goal. Not only did whatever sentiments he had towards Joshua endear Rosette to him, but vengeance is easily rallied around. No wonder he came to Rosette.

 

The longer I stood there, the more the practicality of what he had showed itself to me. He could not trust the horns in Aion's grasp. He had no need for them himself. We had, indeed, long ago, been friends. But how could he know there was so much more at stake than a friendly gesture?

 

I could hear them, the voices. The voices of the fallen, the dead, those whose lives had merged with the river of Astral energy. With those horns I had been, truly, Chrono the Sinner, Kinslayer. I sent more souls to meet their destiny with the Astral Line than I cared to think about. And it was that same energy that flowed through the solid organs. Having my horns broken off was a penance for me. To me, it was symbolic. I was not to draw power from that which I (in my opinion) had tainted.

 

But what now? Had I done my penance? And more importantly, if I took them, what would await me? I remember vividly that feeling of power. It had made me arrogant, as it had made us all arrogant. Even Merari and Trista, in all their unusual kindness, had their arrogance. It was impossible to possess so great a boon and not. Would that demon that I was, slayer of so many, rear again its ugly head when I again had power, when my abilities did not demand a cost far greater than their own worth? With my demonic arrogance gone, I treasured things. Little things, simple things, finite things. I had learned the value of a single life.

 

I looked up at Rosette. A single human life had been the only thing in the world that had mattered to me for four years. When I didn't require it for sustenance anymore, what would happen? I still needed her.

 

There. There it was. There was my real fear. Things, these horns, energy... those I could control. But there was one thing I could not. I did need her. Horn-less, I could let myself believe it was because she had given herself to me in contract. But the truth was, I did need her soul, her fire, her spirit, and not for the Astral energy. The truth was the idea of losing her terrified me. But with my horns back... everything would change.

 

She accepted me for who I was. But what would happen when I ceased to be the boy to her? When faced with a demon, fully and completely, how would she see me? Rosette was never a superficial person. I didn't expect her to take one look at my horns and judge me forever. Of course not. But as time passed, then what? This threw into sharp perspective a choice that I honestly had not planned on living long enough to face.

 

Her choice.

 

A choice that, apparently, Rosette had not needed to agonize over, as she put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Take the horns, Chrono.”