Clamp School Fan Fiction ❯ Fallen Angel ❯ Going blind ( Chapter 1 )
Jared
Disclaimer:
The following characters belong to CLAMP and are only borrowed for the fanfic. Information regarding tear gas was taken from http://www.millennium-ark.net/News_Files/NBC/Chem.Agents.Tear.html
Chapter 1: Going blind
"Doctor… is he going to be all right?" Suoh asked anxiously. He had kept vigil outside the operating theatre, almost as though his mere presence would help his friend.
"Well… his wounds are superficial, but his eyes… "
"Yes?" Suoh prompted, his voice wavering slightly.
"I'm afraid there's nothing much we can do. Prolonged exposure to the tear gas has that effect on some; it's highly likely that he'll never recover his sight." Regret laced the words of the doctor.
Suoh stood there, motionless. All that he had heard was that Nokoru was now blinded; that was all that mattered. // How can this be happening? I don't believe this- I refuse to believe this. No, Kaichou can't be blind- it's impossible! // Suoh was in a state of shock. // How can this be happening? How could I have failed him? This is my fault- all this resulted from my incompetence. How will I ever face him again? //
"Can… can I see him?" a hoarse voice asked, and was glad to see the other's head bob gently.
"Just don't stay too long." He warned, "He won't wake yet- the anaesthesia hasn't had time to wear off."
* * * * *
Suoh entered the room, his eyes on the limp figure lying on the bed. A few swift steps soon brought him to the side of the bed. He gazed in horror at the bandage that was wrapped firmly across the eyes that he had known so well… eyes which sparkled with mischief and good humour; eyes that would no longer be able to see…
Suoh choked back a sob. // I can't break down… If I do, Kaichou will feel even worse. I have to be strong, if only for his sake… //
Reaching forward, he gently touched the bandages, feeling its roughness against his fingertips. "I'm so sorry;" he whispered, "I never wanted this to happen. Please forgive me."
* * * * *
When Suoh finally left the room with Akira in tow, Nokoru turned on his side, pulling the blankets tighter around him. Unknown to all, Nokoru had actually awakened some time before, but had lay still when he had heard the terrible news- news that explained the darkness around him and made it unbearable.
"Come on, Takamura- senpai. It won't help even if you're here. Why don't you go back and rest? Kaichou will need all the help he can get, now that his eyes…" his voice trailed off.
Nokoru stiffened ever so slightly. // My eyes? What's wrong with my eyes? No, don't jump to conclusions just yet. There might be nothing wrong with it, nothing permanent. Just wait and see. Calm down, it's ok. Just calm down now. //
He heard Suoh laugh a bitter laugh. "Help him? I'm not sure he would still want me around. Because of my incompetence he'll never be able to see again! I don't know how I'm going to face him now." A strangled sob followed that outburst.
"Takamura- san, please… it's not your fault. You never wanted this to happen. Come now, get some rest. You're exhausted. Kaichou wouldn't want to see you like this." He reached out and led Suoh firmly out of the room. "Besides, you'll only make it harder for the hospital staff to work. That might not be good for Kaichou" he reasoned.
// I'm… blind? // Nokoru felt numb. // No, this can't be happening. Please, don't let this happen. Kami- sama, please, don't let this happen. I don't want to be blind! // He reached out with a trembling hand and felt the rough gauze beneath his fingertips.
Suddenly, something in him snapped. Nokoru began clawing at the bandages with all his might, pulling frantically at it, as though the action would enable him to see. Finally, the bandages fell onto the bed; yet the darkness did not falter. He reached out and felt his lids to make sure that they were open, pinched himself to make sure that it was not just a bad dream. Tears streamed down his face and he began to sob uncontrollably when he realised that he really was unable to see. "No, this can't be happening! I don't want to be blind! I want to see! Please, let me see again! Let me see again!"
Doctors and nurses alike rushed into the room, doing the best they could to restrain the flailing child. A sharp needle was applied to his arm, and he lapsed into unconsciousness.