Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Trigun Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Love Hina Fan Fiction / FLCL Fan Fiction / Excel Saga Fan Fiction / Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO) Fan Fiction ❯ Ramen Theatres Presents... ❯ Torturing Sesshomaru ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Welcome to “Torturing Sesshomaru” the humorous parody (ok that was an oxymoron but who’s perfect?) abt what else? Torturing Sesshomaru!! Ok its not really Torturing him, just slightly bashing. Ok some disclaimers b4 I begin. I do not own any part of the Inuyasha manga series or anime series. Do not sue me ok!!! I just wanna make a good parody for the adoring fans!!! Also, Ed, don’t get pissed off because I know you’ll like it!!!! ok here goes!!!


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::Scene starts with Sesshomaru sleeping (and rather cutely might I add^^) He is to get up at 8:00 am to his favorite song Fukai Mori but something goes wrong::


Jukebox- ::plays to the tune of Fukai Mori:: Chicken Beef, Coral Reef, and I fall on my feet, my body feels like soup, the roof leaks, and the door creaks, the mouse won’t even squeak.


Sesshomaru- (wakes up outraged) What the hell is this crap!!! (Takes out the Cd) BOA’s GREATEST HITS?!!! THAT BITCH CAN’T SING FO SHIT!!!! ::sigh:: Rin must have left this in my cd player.


Rin- (Runs in and jumps on Sesshomaru’s bed) good morning Sesshomaru-kun (hugs him)


Sesshomaru-::mutters to himself:: another day, another 24 hours with this little brat and toad boy.


Jaken-(comes into his room)


Sesshomaru- speak of the toad


Jaken-(hands Sesshomaru a long scroll) Master, I’ve been up all night ::flashbacks of him drawing hentai pics of Sesshomaru::
and I’ve made a complete chart of all the things that have occured since you last met with Inuyasha.


Sesshomaru-(looks through the scroll, finding one of the Hentai drawings) um...Jaken, what is this?


Jaken- um...er...uhh...I didn’t draw that I swear my lord!! It was that pesky brat ::points at Rin::


Sesshomaru-You admire my body that much, you’d make a Hentai?


Rin- uhhhh...purple!!


Sesshomaru- I’m flatterd, here have a cookie!


Rin-(takes the cookie and eats it, one minute later she dies)tell...Jaken...I’m gay


Sesshomaru- dumb brat, how dare you draw me so inaccurately... my thing is WAY bigger than that!!!


Jaken- whew, anyways my lord we must get back to the scroll. The graphs have shown that you’ve lost one arm, you’ve scratched up your face, you don’t have the tetsaiga your minions are practically useless and you’re still related to INUYASHA


Sesshomaru-HEY!!! I got a replacement for that arm!! Besides, I changed my name to Sesshomaru Urashima so I’m not his brother anymore (blows a raspberry)


::Telephone Rings, answering Machine picks up:: You’ve reached Sesshomaru’s house...er...Dungeon!! If you’re a fine laydie
leave ya digits, if you’re an ugly laydee, still leave ya digits if ya anyone else, get lost!! ::background stuff iz heard:: Jaken, you
fukkin faggot!!!! I told you to stop singing that goddamn BoA shit and put the dishes in the... Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!


Naraku: Sesshomaru, I have a way for you to get the tetsaiga, meet me in the back of the hoggly woggly at 12:00 pm.


Sesshomaru- wooohooo!!! now I can finally get that bitch Inuyasha! Common Toad!!



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Boom Chika Boom:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Sesshomaru-(Rides a bike along a path to the hoggly woggly with Jaken running behind)


Upon arrival at the Hoggly Woggly, Sesshomaru and Jaken see that there is a big convention going on.


Sesshomaru- This calls for my disguise pen!!! Disguise Power!! Turn me into a cosplayer!!!!(turns into Sephiroth)


Jaken- what about me m’lord?


Sesshomaru- You already look like shit. Common


As Sesshomaru and Jaken walk through the crowd he sees several people dressed as him


Sesshomaru: tisk, tisk, do you see them Jaken? They all look so...so...me...


Jaken-::sigh:: common m’lord


Naraku- psst, I’m ova here


Sesshomaru-Where?!


Naraku-HERE


Sesshomaru-(turns around) oooooooooooooooooooo...I knew that^^


Naraku-w/e anywayz, on the other side of the cosplay arena, there is a big confrence building you see ::points at sign that says
Confrence Building”


Sesshomaru-um...no. Look this costume is really itchy and these two strands of hair are poking me in the eye!


Naraku-take it off, they probably won’t even know its you with so many cosplayers running around


Sesshomaru- ok (changes from the costume)


Fan-Girl- (points) SESSHOMARU SAMA!!!!!!


Fangirls all run towards Sessshomaru, Jaken gets trampled


Sesshomaru-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WHO WOULD UNLEASH THIS MANY HORMONALY
CHALLANGED TEENYBOPPERS ON A CARTOON?!!!


::In the background you see Kagome snicker and give Sango a high five::


Sesshomaru-(runs into a room panting, the girls kicking and screaming behind the door)


Miroku- Hey sexy


Sesshomaru- (turns around and sess Miroku) who n the hell are you?


Miroku- Don’t play games baby, you know you want me. I see you and me on that table n about 5 minutes.


Sesshomaru- Listen you Bisexual bitch I dunno what you tried in high school but you better get the fuck away from me!!


Miroku- I’m not bi, but I’ll try anything once ^_~


Sesshomaru-woah woah woah get the hell back, can’t you see I’m a man?!


Miroku- you can be anything you want as long as you call my name.


Sesshomaru-obviously you don’t get me!!(pulls down his pants) see I told you, full package!!


Miroku-::thinks to himself:: thatz bigger than mine:: obviously there has been a misunderstanding I mean you looked so much like a gi...


Sesshomaru- a what?


Miroku- nothing but look , I can get you out of here all you gotta do is climb up that pipe and tunnel through it until you get to another room. Good Luck (pats Sesshomaru’s ass)


Sesshomaru- That’s It (slices Miroku in half) I never liked fags.


So Sesshomaru tunneled through the pipe until he got to his destination. He jumped out of the pipe down on the ground and got a not so great surprise. Inuyasha was standing there with Kikyo on one arm and Kagome on another.


Inuyasha-Well if it isn’t my older brother. Running around looking like you do and u still ain’t got no nookie. and no wonder, you’re wearing a friggen boa. You disgust me.


Random Man-oooooooooooooooooo


Sesshomaru- Itz manolo fur for the last fukkin time!!! And I have got sum nookie Bitch!!


Random Girl-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Inuyasha- yea, from a 6 year old kid!!!


Man-ooooooo oooooooooooooo


Sesshomaru-o yea, well she proly got betta curves than that bitch on the right (Kagome)


Girl-OHHHHHHHHH


Inuyasha-WHY DON’T YALL GO FUCK SUMWHERE ELSE!!!!


Both- sry (leave)


Sesshomaru- anyway I’ve come to take your tetsaiga and your booty-call!!


Inuyasha- try it boA boy, but I have a secret weapon!!


Sesshomaru-oh yea, and what is that


Inuyasha-(turns on “Whatever” by BoA)


Sesshomaru- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....can’t listen!!!! Must...call..upon...the powers...of the TUBA CHUCK EARMUFFS!! ::puts them on:: woochacha!! :flips Inu the Bird: now, imma kick your ass and take that one on
the left (Kikyo)


Inuyasha- girls, ain’tcah gunna help me?


Kagome-Fuck you Inuyasha


Kikyo- you did all them other times.


Kagome- that’s it you skanky half dead stick bitch!!!


Kikyo- bring it on


Sesshomaru and Inuyasha just stood there while Kikyo and Kagome fought, passing a popcorn bucket.


Sesshomaru- I bet on the long haired one!!


Inuyasha- we should stop them


Sesshomaru- and miss this chick fight, hell naw!!!


Inuyasha- no seriously, I think Kikyo just tore Kagome another bow n arrow if ya get me.


Sesshomaru-awwwww arite, I got Kikyo


Sesshomaru and Inuyasha run to grab the girls, Sesshomaru grabbing other places -_-.


Kikyo- You know what Inuyasha, I’m done with you!! I’m leaving with Sesshomaru. He’s hotter, more well built and hez got a better package!!


Inuyasha- HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!!!!


Sesshomaru- I told you I got some ::snicker::


So the story ends with Kikyo going home with Sesshomaru (lord only knows what happend after that) and Inuyasha is left with Kagome who eventually left him for Sango @_@.

~Owari

Ok, Ok I know that sucked but it's hella funni but my story wasn’t that bad!! Email me @ shirahime187@aol.com and tell me watcha think.