Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction ❯ Got You ❯ Hair of the Dog ( Chapter 18 )

I do not own the characters of Cowboy Bebop. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

Evil plans in motion.

 

Chapter 18: Hair of the Dog (Nazareth)

 

Faye was enraged. Every welt burned. She was determined to get Spike back if it killed her. What the hell'd I do to deserve having the shit scared out of me? She shook slightly, recalling the paralyzing fear of waking up because she couldn't breathe. Thank goodness I didn't start bawling and my gun was locked up. She congratulated herself for keeping relatively cool. Collecting her things she huffed into the shower, hoping to remove some bungee aches and hide hurt feelings. No one expects to fall asleep in someone's arms, only to wake up suffocating and bound. It's just cruel and if that's the way Spike wanted to play this little game of one-up-manship that was how she'd play. She was determined to have him rue the day he ever tried to out-do her.

 

“Spike, she's goin' to kill you.” Jet said around his smoke.

“Doubt it. She has yet to get one over on me since the shaving cream.” He grinned, “And that one doesn't count- she had help.”

“Then technically, neither do yours. You've had Ed's help too.”

Spike fiddled with the unlit smoke, “No. I did the loaded cigarette on my own.”

Jet shook his head, “When she retaliates there will be no more using Ed in your little game. Poor kid's goin' to have a complex.” Spike shrugged. He wasn't worried, Faye wouldn't be able to pull anything he wouldn't see a mile away.

“She's been goin' easy on you, Spike-o. You know what they say about women…” Jet stretched.

“What? Can't live with them can't procreate without them?”

Jet snorted, “I'm stopping off on Vesta to resupply. You know the drill. If there's something you need you either buy it yourself or put it on the list and leave the Woolongs.” Spike nodded.

 

Jet became immediately suspicious the second Faye offered to take Ed and Ein out for the day. When he pressed, she simply smiled and said something about wanting to enjoy the country. Though his bullshit meter was redlining, he decided to leave things be and have Spike accompany him. It wouldn't hurt him to get some fresh air anyway and Faye deserved a little prep time.

He kicked the slumbering cowboy's foot on the way out. “Get up.” Spike snorted and slithered lower on the couch, Jet thwacked the napper's forehead. “Up. Now.”

Spike cracked an eye, “Why?”

“Your turn to help me collect groceries,” he held up a hand when Spike began to protest, “Faye's staying here. She said it's your turn.”

“Bullshit.” He rubbed his face, “Faye likes shopping, she's a chick, kinda, she can go.”

“Can the sexist shit. It's your turn. Come on.”

Feet dropped unceremoniously on the opposite arm rest, “When'd you become a feminist and why are you so desperate for my company?” He grinned, “I'm not gonna hold your hand and open the doors for you.”

Jet rolled his eyes, “You're just so irresistible, Cowboy.”

“You just don't want me left alone with Faye.”

“I'd like my ship in one piece when I return.”

“Isn't Faye walking the dog?”

Jet scowled, “You know what? Never mind. I'll go pick up the supplies alone.” He headed towards the door, “But I'm buying what I want. No bitching if you don't get your…” he scanned his list, “Never mind.” He headed towards the doorway, grumbling about inconsiderate monkey people refusing to pull their weight.

Spike groaned his voice heavy from sleep, “I'm not a pack mule.”

Faye sung from the hall, “Nope. You're just an ass.” Ed brayed in accompaniment. Spike attempted to make a retort.

“Give up. She's already gone.” Disgruntled, Spike rolled into a standing slouch and followed the larger man out.

 

“Ed! ED! Let's go. Get Ein.” Faye smiled and quickly clipped a leash to the suspicious corgi. With a gentle tug she led the dog and teen out the door. “Come on. I'm taking you for a nice, long, dirty walk.” Ed furrowed her brows but decided outside time with Faye was ok, even if she'd end up having to give Ein a bath after. Faye steered the group away from the small settlement, towards the outlying farms. She stopped at the edge of a murky pond and released Ein from his lead. Ed studied Faye's every move curious to learn what she was planning.

Faye gave the dog a hard look, “Go. Go chase something and get as dirty as you want.”

The dog sat and cocked his head.

“Ein-Woof-woof wants to know what's in it for him.”

Faye sighed, “Besides freedom?” The dog yipped. “Err…I promise I'll give you your bath, no soap in your eyes and warm water?” He lay down. “Fine, I'll dig you up some of those doggy treats too!” Pleased the pup scampered off after a mysterious bug.

Ed turned towards the plotting woman, “Why is Faye-Faye being nice to Woof-woof Ein?”

She grinned, “He deserves a good run, don't you think?”

Ed nodded, unconvinced. “Why?”

The grin grew nasty, “Because I need Ein as dirty as possible.” She refused to answer any more questions, opting to rest under a nearby tree. Occasionally, Ein would scamper over only to be shooed away. “Go find some really smelly stuff to play in.” She sighed, I thought dogs liked rolling in shit.

Ein was in puppy bliss. He rarely was allowed the freedom to romp and roll in whatever he wanted. He knew the woman was up to something, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to indulge in his doggy nature, especially if there would be perks.

 

Jet and Spike's afternoon was relatively sedate. Without Faye or Ed to slow them down, they were nearly done, each man carrying half a dozen packages. A chirp sounded, forcing Jet to pause and juggle bags. His posture immediately stiff and wary. Spike sensing something amiss, lessoned his stride to wait until the stressing bounty hunter finished his call. He spoke in a low, measured voice; his features hardening with every comment from the person on the opposite end. The comm was violently disconnected. Jet's anger palpable.

“What's up?”

Ripped from his thoughts Jet glanced at his partner, “Bob just found out that Lihas,” he adjusted packages, “is not in jail. He's making a lot of noise. He and two partners took out half a group of Mars Tech students at a party, yesterday. Two died. The bounty's been tripled.”

Spike whistled softly, “How?”

Jet bristled, “Someone dropped in and made a withdrawal.” He shifted, “Guy's got a new ship and half a dozen experimental drugs. My money's on the third partner. He must've made some decent connections and set it up. Bob's sending the few images they have of the assistants our way. We need to capture them and make sure we dump them somewhere that can handle `em.” He shook his head. “It's my fault, I dropped him off at the closest station, instead of taking him straight to the main facility on Mars.” He shot Spike a nervous glance, “He's goin' to be gunnin' for you and Faye…”

“And to catch him, you want Faye and me as bait.” Jet nodded. “You already know where he'll be don't you?”

“I have a good hunch. You won't like it though.”

Spike shrugged, “Money's money.”

Jet shook his head, “I want to pretend we don't know he's out. We…er… you insulted him by kicking the shit out of him. Faye kneed him in his pride by implying she chose you.” He smirked and waited for the news to digest. Spike scowled. “I don't think he knows she's a bounty hunter, just associated with them. I'm goin' to have Ed do some rearranging on her info, just in case.”

“What about Boris?”

“He didn't get out.” Jet snickered, “I guess the spider got squished.” Spike groaned at the poor joke. “We were a little rough. From the files Bob was able to get a hold of, he was obviously in shock. I guess when I popped his head off the tile wall his skull cracked.” Spike giggled. “He's still in the prison medical ward. There was no way Lihas could collect him and make it out.”

“Huh. Lihas isn't going to be a happy boy.”

Jet nodded, “Neither will the third partner, Anthony. Annie said Boris was a bit of a pet to the guy.” He jostled an imbalanced package, “Bob said the one witness that survived the breakout heard Lihas grumbling about missing property and teaching a thief a lesson.”

“Huh. I didn't know it was stealing when the girl comes to you.”

Jet shrugged, “Didn't know Faye was given much of a choice to be with you either,” he grinned, “thought it was all an act,” and headed straight for the ship, ignoring the disgruntled snort.

 

Faye immediately noted the lack of male bodies when they entered the Bebop. With a smirk, she began preparing for Ein's bath. “Ed, go grab that bucket and the shampoo I left by the hose.” She glanced at the filthy corgi, her mouth twisting into a vindictive snarl. She grabbed some wire cutters while Ed's back was turned and lunged at the dog. Catching his hind leg, she yanked him towards her and snipped a filthy collection of corgi coat. Ein's yip drew Ed's attention. She turned to find Faye with a handful of fur in one hand, a sharp tool in the other and a cowering dog. “Faye-Faye? What did you do to Ein?” Faye grinned and waved the clump of fur. “Nothin' Ed. I just wanted some of Ein's fur.” She grinned and pulled out her last cigarette, stuffing the stolen fluff in the empty box. “Let's get Ein clean. He's stinking' up the ship.” The corgi growled slightly at the implication, Ed giggled, Faye grabbed the hose, checking the temperature as she stalked towards the displeased pooch.

 

An hour later the hangar doors slid open. Eyes still adjusting to the dark, Spike's eyebrow quirked when he heard the splash of water, its partner shot up when Jet began cussing, “Wh…wh…what the hell happened here?!” More splashing, “Faye! I thought you were watching them. There's water and soap everywhere!” Spike peeked around his armload and nearly dropped it along with his jaw. Ein was sparkling clean and dripping wet. Faye and Ed were a mess. Ed's shirt hung in a damp, loose mass. Faye's hair was plastered to her forehead, stray twigs, soap bubbles and dirt dangling off her form. She grinned sheepishly at the chaos before collecting her senses and fortifying her resolve, “Ein got messy on our walk.” She huffed, “I couldn't let him on the ship. He was a giant dirt clod.” She flapped her arms in growing frustration, pitching water droplets towards them. Spike studied the two sopping girls, absently wishing he'd been able to watch Faye wash the dog. Wonder if it's as good as when she cleans the ships? He grinned, his treacherous brain heading down its current favorite and most distressful path.

Ein shook violently, showering the space with water. Jet's eyebrows slammed together and the bags in his arms crinkled dangerously, “Faye. Clean. This. Mess. Up. NOW!” She stood there, gaping like a fish out of water. Jet's eyes swiveled in her direction, “SHUT IT!” Her jaw clicked shut. “You will clean this mess before you go past the hangar doors.” He shooed Ein into the main part of the ship and glanced at a twitching Ed, “Help her.” Spike kept behind the seething man, but it was obvious he was enjoying the show. His shoulders bounced, the packages rattled and the occasional jeering snort would escape. Faye studied his exit, noting the happy twinkle and cheerful stride. Just wait, Lunkhead. Just YOU wait. She glanced at Ed, who was currently trying to corral the suds into a large pile with her hands, and decided the hangar would be easier to clean alone. With a shove through the hatch and a comment along the lines of, “I don't need help.” She resumed her housework, happily planning the bubble bath she would have shortly.

 

Spike, surprisingly, had been thinking along similar lines, She's goin' to want a bath as soon as she's done. He smirked, Time to end this stupid game. Dropping off his load he slipped off to the shower, where he carefully unscrewed the head from the sprayer and replaced it with his special surprise. The door leading to the hangar clicked warning him he had to hurry. Hastily he rushed from the room and slunk down onto the couch, visions of a humbled Faye dancing in his head. He chortled when an image of his final result flicked past his drooping eyelids. Point. Set. Match.