Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction ❯ Got You ❯ Devil's Haircut ( Chapter 21 )

I do not own the characters of Cowboy Bebop. They are the property of Sunrise, Bones, and Bandai Visual (2001). They make the money, not me. Nor can I take credit for most of my chapter headings- they are the product of their authors. Sigh.

And now….

We learn Ed is not the only one who bites.

 

Chapter 21: Devil's Haircut (Beck)

 

Jet twitched uncomfortably, Ed had not stopped staring at him since Faye left. “What?” She giggled. “What is it Ed?”

“Papa Jet, where did your hair go?”

“What?”

“Papa Jet's beard is gone.” He rubbed his chin and instead of the customary, course hair his hand met skin.

“What the hell?!” Ed suddenly became overly nervous, slinking away from the guaranteed explosion. “Hold up, cowgirl. What happened?”

Ed attempted to shrink, “Faye-Faye put stinky, white stuff in the shampoo. Ed forgot to tell you.” Jet didn't have the energy to bother. He cussed, sending Ed deeper into the shadowed hallway. He should have known both he and Ed would get drug into this nasty little game. He waved Ed back, “Relax. It'll end soon.” She glanced at her off-colored nails and gave a serious nod. Ein sank between the two- he was, after all, the first victim.

Ed grinned, “Edward thinks they are flirting like kids.”

“Yup.” He reached for his chin, pausing mid beard rub and internally mourning the loss of what had been his identity. He sighed, Over ten years I've had that beard. TEN! And they destroy it in less than a week. He made his way to the bathroom, glaring at the face that looked back. He turned his head side to side, grimacing when he found all the reasons he had grown the facial hair in the first place. He jumped when his comm chirped. “Yes.”

“Hey Cowboy.”

“Miss Annie, how'd you get this connection?”

She chuckled, “I have my ways, Handsome. Hmmm… Why so shy?”

“I was sleeping, this is my personal comm, no visual feed. What can I do for you?”

“I've heard some friends talkin' about Kevie. He's out, you know.”

Jet grunted.

“Well, rumor has it he'll be at that cute little place I invited you to in the next week or so.” A smile dripped into her voice, “Hope to see you there.” She disconnected before Jet could respond. He glared at himself in the mirror. Defeated, he flicked off the light and stomped to his room noting the trash can of water had changed doorways. Why can't they just grow up and admit the truth?!

 

Sometime after three, Spike made his appearance- punctuated by the sloshing of soaked shoes. He refused to acknowledge the rest of the crew, opting to make a prairie oyster before dealing with daily necessaries. Returning to the lounge he discovered Faye was keeping a wide birth between herself and Jet, currently hidden behind a paper. “Spike,” Jet's voice floated out of the crinkling pages, “You clean up that water?”

“Yeah.” He grinned, “I threw some rags on it.” His gaze fell on Faye, She'll blow when she sees what I used. She glanced at Spike, her eyes roaming to his disheveled hair, a look of discomfort evident. Jet rapped the paper, folding it neatly before tossing it on the coffee table. Everyone's composure shattered the second Spike's mug hit the floor. “What the hell'd you do Jet?” Spike flopped next to the recently made over man.

“Nothing,” Jet hissed, “This was meant for you.” Spike's eyes swiveled to Faye. She moves like her neck's stiff. He then took note of her desperate attempt to remain composed. A damaged hand tucking a wayward strand behind her ear, Spike locked on the wrapped digit, What the hell? He ignored the fact he was suddenly angry at her assailant, opting to wonder over the accrued damage.

Faye cleared her throat and in a strained voice, “Jet. I'm so, so sorry.” She took a shivery breath, suppressed laughter evident in her eyes, “Ed was supposed to warn you.” She shot the hacker a glare.

“Ed forgot until it was too late.” She whispered behind the computer, “Ed already apologized. She is very, very sorry.” She took a tentative peek before her face exploded in pleasure, “Ed didn't know you had dimples!”

“I don't.”

Faye giggled, “Or a strong jaw line.”

“Shut it!”

“Such great features, it's a shame to hide them behind all that facial hair.”

Jet slanted a gaze her way. Spike's jaw dropped. A harmonic “What?!” escaped both men.

“You heard me.” Her head cocked to the side, “You look younger, more distinguished.”

“Ed thinks Papa Jet is handsome.” The teen tittered.

“Pff… he looks like a cue ball.” Both females gasped and Jet flushed.

Faye cooed, “Ahh… so cute!” Jet frowned, he was not cute. “I bet you get a lot more girls this way.” She glared at Spike, “F.Y.I. Cowboy. Lots of women like clean shaven, bald men.” Spike snorted. “It shows they're confident.” Another derisive noise. “Whatever. All women find confidence sexy.” Jet felt less willing to throttle Faye. She was definitely the only expert on what attracted women, not that he cared- much.

“Bullshit, Faye. You're just tryin' to cover your ass.”

“Ahh… Spike you have to realize there's a difference between being cocky and confident.” Her lip curled, “Cocky is cute on a teenage boy not a nearly thirty year old man.” Teeth became exposed as she purred, “Confidence is irresistible.” She nodded sagely. Jet squirmed uncomfortably, Is she trying to make him jealous? He studied the reaction, 'Cause it's working.

Spike shot Jet an appraising glare and shook his head, “Still gotta call bullshit, Faye.” She quirked an eyebrow. “I've seen what you chase after and they'd qualify as cocky, pretty boys.”

She scoffed, “Hmm. You seem to pay a lot of attention to who I'm drawn to.” She grinned, “You've even made completely wrong assumptions. Why's that?”

“Ass out of you and me!” Ed squealed, she stilled when it was obvious she was being ignored.

Spike shrugged, “Sheer entertainment.” His brows furrowed slightly when he made out the faint imprint of a chain link on her neck.

“What?” Faye hummed, “Can't get any, so you watch others for tips?” Spike snorted his eyes again locking on the immobile digit. “Sorry to burst your fantasy fodder…”

Spike choked on a rough chortle, “You've nothing worth fantasizing about. I'm not a fan of sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths…” he ticked places off on his fingers pausing, “Stop me any time.”

“It'd be…” Faye's cheeks pinked and she tried to recover, “You blew your story, Lunkhead. Sloppy seconds hints that you've thought about me sleeping with the guys I let buy me drinks.” Internally, she sighed Not like I date- ever. She leveled an intense gaze, “Why would you even care… if you weren't interested?”

“Just thinking about the health of my comrades,” he bobbed his head towards Ed and Jet.

Faye's expression darkened, “Bullshit! You don't give a flying fuck about your so called comrades.” Spike sat up, his eyes narrowing. “Only thing you cared about was your fucked up pride.”

Spike's jaw tightened, “Do you have a point or you just on high bitch today?”

Faye's expression changed. Suddenly morphing from high level fury to smug; she stepped towards the slouching cowboy reeling from the change in gears, and purred, “Spike. You haven't a clue what's wrong with me.”

She allowed a small, seductive smirk when he stiffened. “Pff. Like I care, Faye.” She slunk closer, nudging his legs off the table and sank next to him, one leg tucked under her, the other on the floor. She leaned closer. Spike sat up, tilting his body away from the advance. Her hand settled on the exposed couch between his thighs, she bent closer. Jet and Ed sat transfixed; this was a new, less violent turn in the regular arguments. Spike's thought processes slowed the second Faye's hand landed. He wasn't sure what to do. Deciding that she would soon be over her head, he took a calming breath and waited to call her bluff.

The grin still was affixed as she placed her weight on her knee and strategically positioned hand, and slipped her free arm along the back of the couch. “Would you like to know?” Her voice was barely a whisper, promising all things wonderful. Spike swallowed. She pressed her upper body against him, he noted absently the citrusy scent. “I'll tell you Cow-boy, if you ask.” Her face inches from his. Spike's eyes swiveled to the gaping pair across the room, immediately returning to Faye the second he felt her shift closer. Noses touching, eyes closing, heads tilting, Faye finished the final few inches…

“OUCH!” Spike jumped. His hand touching his bruised lip, “You bit me.”

Faye shrugged, already exiting. She paused in the doorway, “Just a little something for you to think about.” She winked and disappeared.

“Damn. I didn't know what she was going to do.” Jet shook his head, surprised.

Spike frowned, “Ed must be rubbing off on her.”

Ed bristled at the slight, before coming up with a tactic of her own: grinning like a maniac she crowed, “Ed thinks Spike liked it!”

“Shut up.”

Jet chuckled, “I do too.”

Spike slouched back down, dropping his soggy feet back onto the table. Ed resumed her typing and Jet began studying the latest news on Lihas. The quiet was soon interrupted by stomping feet.

SPLAT! Spike sputtered removing a drenched rag from his face, only to find a seething Faye. “You… you… you asshole! What the hell'd you do with my clothes?!” Jet rolled his eyes, She was doing so well too. Another piece of clothing slapped Spike's head. “There are rags all over this ship, but you choose to use my clothes!?”

Spike's shoulders bounced, “Oops. Thought they were rags. He held up a ravaged red shirt. “Not much material here…”

She twitched, grabbing another piece of destruction and held it aloft. Jet shook his head when he realized the rag was actually half of Faye's favorite top. Spike had done far more than simply use the articles to sop up excess water. He very carefully made them irreparable. As Faye began tossing wet garments, Jet noted he had only destroyed the yellow outfit- he'd even found a way to annihilate her little, white boots and goofy headband. With another reverberating, soppy slap Faye turned on her heels and left a dripping Spike and stunned silence.

“Wow,” Jet scratched his head. Spike's eyes slid closed as he returned his soaked boots to the coffee table, his head flopping back into the perfect, sprawling slump. “Get off the furniture, you're soaked.” He kicked Spike's legs down and collected one of Faye's thrashed pieces of laundry. He snorted, “You sure were thorough.”

Spike grinned, “Yup. I hate half assed.”

Collecting the mass Jet grumbled, good naturedly, “Guess I'll throw these out.”

“It'd be for the best, they're not very absorbent.” Spike tugged off the wet jacket, appearing otherwise unfazed by Faye's temper tantrum.

Ed shifted, attracting Spike's gaze. “Spike person?” He grunted. “Why didn't you fight back when Faye-Faye was yelling at you?” Jet stilled his home-making, suddenly curious.

Spike shrugged, “She needed to vent.”

Ed shook her head, typing a few commands before continuing. “Ed thought you liked making Faye-Faye cranky?” Spike stiffened. “That's why you tease her, isn't it?” Jet noted Ed was using pronouns and keeping the discussion relatively linear. “I think you're afraid to be her friend.”

“Edward.” Spike's voice full of threat, “I think it would be wise to drop this line of conversation.” He glared at her from his lowered lashes, jaw firmly clenched. “I have no interest in becoming Faye's friend. She's a pain in the ass, free loader with absolutely no redeeming qualities.”

Jet cleared his throat, “Knock it off Spike.” Spike's face melted into confusion. Jet shrugged, “She's changed. We all have. You just refuse to see it.” Spike slumped further and returned his feet to the table. “Faye actually does a half-decent job collecting bounties. While you were recovering she and Ed were pretty much the team.” Jet snorted, “I think she threatens you.”

Ed gasped, “Spike-person is scared of Faye-Faye?” She scuttled behind a chair. “But he likes playing kissy-face with her.” Ed puckered in order to make the accompanying sound effects.

Spike hissed, “Not likely.”

“She's a part of this team, Spike. Just like Ed and Ein. They all earn their keep.” He stood, “Learn to deal with it. I'm going to drop off Faye's catch. Behave.” He left, flipping Lihas's file in Spike's lap.

Spike tossed the information on the table and sat in grumpy meditation. He sucked on his bruised lip. It still hurt. With a glance at the typing hacker he shifted. “Hey, Ed. Ed.” He waited for her to pause. “What happened last night?”

“Hmmm…” she touched a purplish finger to her chin, “Ed was turned colors. Spike got all `bleh bleh', Papa Jet lost his beard and Faye-Faye beat up a bounty head and broke her finger.”

“What?”

“Ed turned colors…”

“No. When did Faye pull in a bounty?”

“Last night. Does Spike-person want to see? Ed found the surveillance video. Faye-Faye was all heeya. Punch, kick, like Spike-person takes out a bounty head. Only nothing broke...” she frowned, “except Faye-Faye's finger.”

“Huh.”

He slid behind her and watched the various snippets of tape, shocked over the smooth take-down. It looked effortless and resulted in no property damage. “Faye-Faye was cool, huh?”

“Sure, Ed. How'd she get hurt?”

“Oh. The bad man tried to choke Faye-Faye.” Ed pulled up the comm visual. “Ed was scared when she saw the man try to hug Faye-Faye with his bracelets.” Pleased that she was still a klutz, he had to admit, begrudgingly, that he was impressed. Some physical exercise was in order. It didn't require deep thought about the oddities that made up the Bebop crew. In the hall, Jet shot him a knowing look before yanking a short, well pummeled man from the hall closet. The prisoner produced a pathetic gaze before Jet tugged up on his arm and marched him away. Entering the observation deck, he began stretching only to be interrupted, again. Glancing around the space he found Faye absorbed in a different textbook. She turned the page, peering over the top, “I'm not leaving. First come, first served.”

“Suit yourself,” he shrugged. Purposely ignoring her, he started his workout. Tired of getting splattered with Spike sweat, Faye left him alone. He grinned, pausing mid kick to watch her retreat to the lounge. Now with the distraction gone, he resumed in earnest.

 

Faye grabbed the bounty folder resting on the table. She was cranky after the unwanted shower. Now she was furious after flipping through the file. She'd been bait for Lihas and no one bothered to tell her he was a certifiable, psychotic murderer- it wasn't that she minded the role, but it is always nice to know ahead of time who you're expected to flush out. “Ed. Where's Jet?”

“Making deliveries,” her typing paused to mimic pressing a doorbell, “Ding-dong. Here's a bounty package for you!” She giggled and began singing, “M-o-n-e-y buys us food so we don't die…”

Faye tuned her out and continued surveying Lihas's file, finished she left the room. With a jacket and a money card she poked her head back in. “Ed tell the guys I'll be back later.”

“Where is Faye-Faye going?”

She grinned, pocketing the cards and sang, “Shopping!”